YEY!
I've told him that I love him... but tonight I actually told him I'm in love with him. And I do believe I am.
I'm so comfortable with him... and how I feel for him slowly keeps building and that's reassuring because the slower things build, the more steady & stable they tend to be.
I flirt with people, but I have no desire to be with them. A little curious, but my heart actually belongs to someone.
It's almost scary... I said exactly "You better not drop me because I've definately fallen in love with you." Corny oh yes... not a far stretch from when he first said before we were official "Would you catch me if I fell in love with you?" I always have a fear of one party feeling more for the other than the other one. Usually it's them feeling more for me... but I fear more for my feeling more for them because... though I'm not afraid to be hurt (because I allow these things to teach me a lesson and build me up and not tear me down)... I just don't want his feelings to once have been prominent but then turn into... less.
I've been comfortable with him all along. That makes me happy.
I was smiling during 1st period because I kept thinking of how much I've come to love him.
This really came out of nowhere. It snuck up on me. And it's true that these are the sweetest relationships. I was complete before him and now I'm more. And to think that when it first started, I had plans to break it off after the play... I can't remember why I was thinking that... oh yeah, probably because I was still lusting over Dan.
Speaking of Dan... I had a dream last night that I cheated on Devin with him. He felt bad for it but we couldn't resist it. That was what made me frown after smiling in 1st period... thinking about that betraying dream.
I'm envious. I am... only because they were past crushes and my friends are getting their mits on them and I never got to. Missed opportunities that my loved ones pick up... Nessa with Sean... Amber probably going to prom with Dan... I was very flattered when Jessie stated that she didn't understand why he wouldn't have wanted to go out with me (referring to Dan). Beats me I suppose.... I'm such a catch, you know. (hah) Ooo and also Carl and Amanda. I dunno, but I really like the attention Carl gives me, though sometimes it can be a little much...
like today towards the end of rehearsal, he suddenly started undoing my shorts and I was shocked for a moment and stopped him and was so confused... I asked why he unbuttoned my shorts and he said "Because you didn't stop me..." And then he said something about wanting to see my nice ass and I told him how the hell he would know since I hide it most of the time... he said he imagined me naked.. that or Devin said something to him. Oooooook... woah nelly.
I was highly amused at his response to my asking him why though. I'll use that the next time I just randomly start unbuttoning someone's pants and they ask why I'm doing it... haha
But woah..
* * *
5 times in two weeks... 3 in a row... hahaha. He's been losing.
I wish he would wear more of his cologne more often. OMG I'm really liking it... *drool*
I'm happy :)
I'm so comfortable with him... and how I feel for him slowly keeps building and that's reassuring because the slower things build, the more steady & stable they tend to be.
I flirt with people, but I have no desire to be with them. A little curious, but my heart actually belongs to someone.
It's almost scary... I said exactly "You better not drop me because I've definately fallen in love with you." Corny oh yes... not a far stretch from when he first said before we were official "Would you catch me if I fell in love with you?" I always have a fear of one party feeling more for the other than the other one. Usually it's them feeling more for me... but I fear more for my feeling more for them because... though I'm not afraid to be hurt (because I allow these things to teach me a lesson and build me up and not tear me down)... I just don't want his feelings to once have been prominent but then turn into... less.
I've been comfortable with him all along. That makes me happy.
I was smiling during 1st period because I kept thinking of how much I've come to love him.
This really came out of nowhere. It snuck up on me. And it's true that these are the sweetest relationships. I was complete before him and now I'm more. And to think that when it first started, I had plans to break it off after the play... I can't remember why I was thinking that... oh yeah, probably because I was still lusting over Dan.
Speaking of Dan... I had a dream last night that I cheated on Devin with him. He felt bad for it but we couldn't resist it. That was what made me frown after smiling in 1st period... thinking about that betraying dream.
I'm envious. I am... only because they were past crushes and my friends are getting their mits on them and I never got to. Missed opportunities that my loved ones pick up... Nessa with Sean... Amber probably going to prom with Dan... I was very flattered when Jessie stated that she didn't understand why he wouldn't have wanted to go out with me (referring to Dan). Beats me I suppose.... I'm such a catch, you know. (hah) Ooo and also Carl and Amanda. I dunno, but I really like the attention Carl gives me, though sometimes it can be a little much...
like today towards the end of rehearsal, he suddenly started undoing my shorts and I was shocked for a moment and stopped him and was so confused... I asked why he unbuttoned my shorts and he said "Because you didn't stop me..." And then he said something about wanting to see my nice ass and I told him how the hell he would know since I hide it most of the time... he said he imagined me naked.. that or Devin said something to him. Oooooook... woah nelly.
I was highly amused at his response to my asking him why though. I'll use that the next time I just randomly start unbuttoning someone's pants and they ask why I'm doing it... haha
But woah..
* * *
5 times in two weeks... 3 in a row... hahaha. He's been losing.
I wish he would wear more of his cologne more often. OMG I'm really liking it... *drool*
I'm happy :)