The bully-pulpit.
I heard a story on the news this morning about the Fargo School District paying a former student a $300,00 settlement in a case alleging that the student was bullied for several years.
I am opposed to bullying. I hope for the day when our schools and culture foster a climate that makes it clear that no form of bullying will be tolerated. Better yet--how about a day when our schools and culture foster a climate where everyone feels valued enough that they don't even think of bullying?
Nevertheless.
To sue your school district because you were bullied seems, well, whiny. It feels like another symptom of a culture where no one is willing to take any responsibility for its actions. Ever. No, I am not blaming the victim. This student suffered, and that isn't right. Still, he alleges that the bullying went on for five years, and--
Well, and what, exactly? I'd need to see more details of the case, but he doesn't seem to be saying that school personnel were aware of the bullying and did nothing about it. He doesn't even seem to be saying that Fargo School District has a pervasive atmosphere of bully-friendliness. He's just saying that it happened. This just in: Junior high kids bully each other! Rain wet! Pope Catholic!
I was bullied in junior high. It sucked. Know what I did? I diffused tense situations with humor. I made friends (bullies are cowards. A solitary nerd is always easier prey than a group, even if it's all nerds). I developed myself, so that, even if I was weird, I was comfortable in my own skin, in all its weirdness (nothing confuses a bully more than a self-assured geek). I understood that, while it wasn't my fault that I was being bullied, it was within my power to make myself less of a target.
So, yes. By all means, let us teach our children that bullying in any form is unacceptable. Let us teach educators and coaches and school officials that bullying in any form is unacceptable--as is standing aside and letting it pass unremarked. Let us build the culture that does not tolerate--or require--such behavior.
But let us also teach our children that they are not powerless. Let us teach them that they are radiant and worthwhile beings who can stand up by themselves, for themselves, and say, gently, without violence, but with great conviction, "I will be one less person who can be bullied."