Hyphen queen.
First impressions matter immensely.
The short show description for the Fringe program can be up to 35 words long. This is an inviolable number. The producers' handbook clearly states, "If your description is over 35 words, we will edit it, and you might not like how we edit." This is because, when they say "edit," they mean that they will lop off words 36 on. So, 35 words, and not a semicolon more. It's simple enough.
But at the very first Fringe gathering, the producers' meeting where we picked up our producers' packets, I had to ask one very important question: "Do hyphenated words count as one or two?" Those of you who've heard me tell stories about my time in Omrit will surely know why this makes a good bit of difference to me.
Robin Gillette, brand spankin' new Fringe Festival executive director, who was running the meeting, said, "I knew someone was going to ask that," but seemed unable to provide a firm answer. I offered her this: "If I want to talk about my chain-smoking, beer-guzzling, one-eyed German architect, is that 5 words or 8?" I was pretty sure the description I wanted to write would be under either way, but I wanted to know for sure how much room I had to play with.
Fast forward about a month, when leorathesane and I went to the Fringe producers' workshop. As Robin was bringing in the pizzas, she spotted us and said, "Hey, it's the hyphen queens." Oh, jeez. A nickname.
Fast forward 2 more months, to last night. Robin is introducing performers in the Fringe-for-All. I've missed a lot of the intros, but I'm pretty sure she's sticking mostly to the facts: company name, show name, venue, short show description. But as I stand in the wings, waiting for my cue, I hear her say this: "The next performer is Eli Effinger-Weintraub, performing Bye-Bye, Beirut at the Playwrights' Center. I learn a lot about these performers very early on."
Standing backstage, I think, She's going to tell the hyphen story. Out in the house, leorathesane starts giggling. And we're right. Robin tells the hyphen story.
I'm grateful. If I'm known as "The Hyphen Queen," well, at least I'm known. In a festival as big as the Fringe, that's a major advantage. I just hope that, by the end of Fringe, people know me for more than just my hyphens.