Twilight, part two, hopefully the last

[half_breedy]

Hello Children,

Upon finishing Twilight, I think of a quote from the movie Tropic Thunder, "You went full retarded, man - you never go full retarded." I admit, I've read romance novels in the past, but the key to their success is a dash of realistic behavior, a heroine you could understand, even if she's stupid, and a perfect, but human man. Mix

Comments

[younglizbeth]

You know, if I could exude some sort of yummy smell, I would smell like fresh basil. Or possibly some sort of chocolate confection. Now I'm hungry.

Anyway, this is a very good review! Now you know why I walk around school terrified every damn day! Hearing dozens of 13 year old girls sighing, "Edward is soooo hot." makes me want to vomit, and then smack the girls.

And yeah, I understand that girls love reading about risque romance when their just getting into that stage of life, but I don't see how sexy Twilight can be when the author is a crazy Mormon who doesn't believe in pre-marital sex. I mean, really, how sexual does their relationship get? I figure it goes a little something like this:

EDWARD: Bella, if I kiss you...you'll probably die BECAUSE I AM SO STRONG!!!!
BELLA: DO IT!
EDWARD: WE MUSTN'T!!!!!!!! But I want to so bad...and so do you. You want it, don't you?
BELLA: Oh, yeah.
EDWARD: PREPRE TO BE CRUSHED BY MY SUPER-HUMAN STRENGTH!
BELLA: Oooohhh.
EDWARD: *kisses Bella*
BELLA: Oh! You smell so freaking amazing! You taste like rainbows and starlight! You feel like a marble statue of a cold winter's day (or a corpse)!!!!!!!!!
EDWARD: And I haven't even Frenched you yet!
BELLA: *comes*

That just seems weird to me, no matter how old the reader is. And just think, Edward and Bella's relationship is Stephanie Meyer's wet-dream. How sad is that?!

[half_breedy]

Yeeeah, it kind of was like that, though I have to give props that Meyer addressed female desire at all. It was annoying though, because Edward just wanted to kiss like a middle-class Victorian and Bella had to "behave herself" as in, no open mouth kissing, since good ol' Ed just couldn't handle that. I'll stop there though, since everyone has gone there.

On the topic of smells, though, sometimes my clothes smell like Hugo Boss, and that's pretty good. It's pleasant, but I don't wet myself or anything.