haiku inspired by my boyfriend Ted
Military
Finally arrived
his breathless, fixating smile.
held his hand, i'm home.
i miss him soo much. i haven't seen him since april. i've been going ga-ga over here because i shut myself from everyone i work with (i couldn't stand their nasty personalities!). i stayed in my room alot because i felt safe hearing no one or see anyone but that didn't last. my room started feeling like a box. then comes my sanity. My emotional being turned into this 24/hr pms lady. I wanted to yell at everyone and beat them for causing me to turn this way. I lashed out on a couple of people for little things and lost a friend. that's ok. he turned into an a**hole himself and is too big headed to listen to me. i strove to bring myself back the way i was but couldn't. every little thing here made me burst into little bubbles that formed into one big one. i cried so hard in front of my friend chad. i don't like to show my tears but i couldn't control it. he told me i only got a couple of days left so i should get myself into a careless phase, as in "**** off. **** you all. i don't care. i'm leaving." he said that "as soon as i get out of here, there will be nothing left but memories". well, as soon as i hop into that bus leaving the base, i will not look back. it will only mean that i will miss something here. that i left something good here. instead, i will look ahead with Ted's picture on my hand.
Finally arrived
his breathless, fixating smile.
held his hand, i'm home.
i miss him soo much. i haven't seen him since april. i've been going ga-ga over here because i shut myself from everyone i work with (i couldn't stand their nasty personalities!). i stayed in my room alot because i felt safe hearing no one or see anyone but that didn't last. my room started feeling like a box. then comes my sanity. My emotional being turned into this 24/hr pms lady. I wanted to yell at everyone and beat them for causing me to turn this way. I lashed out on a couple of people for little things and lost a friend. that's ok. he turned into an a**hole himself and is too big headed to listen to me. i strove to bring myself back the way i was but couldn't. every little thing here made me burst into little bubbles that formed into one big one. i cried so hard in front of my friend chad. i don't like to show my tears but i couldn't control it. he told me i only got a couple of days left so i should get myself into a careless phase, as in "**** off. **** you all. i don't care. i'm leaving." he said that "as soon as i get out of here, there will be nothing left but memories". well, as soon as i hop into that bus leaving the base, i will not look back. it will only mean that i will miss something here. that i left something good here. instead, i will look ahead with Ted's picture on my hand.