"I almost bought you a present on FAB.com today. Then I realized it was a cat toy."
The subject line is a recitation of a love note I sent to my bobloblaw the other day. He did not respond, but instead sent me an article from AARP magazine about things to do in LA. I didn't ask him why he, a 38-year-old man, was perusing AARP magazine; just as he didn't ask why or how I had almost bought a 38-year-old man something marketed towards cats. These questions are better left unasked.
However, in my defense to you, dear readers [i.e. Shannon], I submit Exhibit "A":
(Designed for Man Who Likes Hedgehog Statues or for Cats? You Decide.)
I rest my case.
Post Script/Epilogue to Cat Toy Vignette/ Prologue to Return to Blogging:
I'm back after a pretty long hiatus from the blogosphere. You see, periodically I reach the end of the internet and have to flounder about for a few months doing things like getting married and buying a house. I basically moonlighted as an unpaid event planner, mortgage broker, and real estate agent for six months or seven months. It was a dark time. I now know what APR means.
After I got hitched and bought a house (aka "got all grows up") all within the span of about 60 days, I had a minor nervous breakdown, the symptoms of which manifested themselves in the form of obsessively reading all the Consumer Reports of the last 5 years in the form of single PDFs scanned into some proxy server accessible through my public library's website. Ask me anything about the energy efficiency of front-loading washers versus top-loading washers. Don't get me started on the deplorable quality of dishwashers that forgo the stainless steel tub interior.
Then there was the paint-choosing saga, or, as I like to call it, "October." Not sure why people haven't discussed this more, but there are WAY MORE than 50 shades of gray, and the Herculean task of choosing which one will look best in a 21' x 14' living room with south-facing windows, mauve-with-gray marble fireplace, and a large threshold opening into a dining room with a chair-rail (yet 2 more color decisions!) made me send a written apology to my mother for silently looking down on her bachelors degree in interior design all these years. (N.b. the apology was ill-received as she seemed to focus on my 32-year silent belittling of her education more than the "so this shit is hard" message that I was trying to get across).
After 30 days and 30 nights of hoarding countless paint splotches and $3 Home Depot samples, mastering multiple iphone apps for paint simulation, and crying sporadically at periodic impasses of neutral tones, we went with Sherwin Williams "Popular Grey," which stood out against the dining room's "Versatile Grey" and is a stark contrast from the back den's "Moderate White." I wish I were kidding.
In any event, I'm back to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of the starting of this blog. (10 YEARS!). Perhaps in year 11 I'll figure out things like how to make the font type and size consistent. Probably not though.