Lost fic: Constant Daze 21/24
Title: Constant Daze - Part Twenty-One (Charlie)
Characters: For this chapter - Charlie, Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, and Desmond
Pairing/s this chapter: mentions of Sawyer/Sayid, Jack/Boone and the recent threesome
Word Count: 2028
Rating: NC-17 overall for the whole fic. PG-13 for mentions of sex this chapter
Warnings: Through-out the fic there is quite a lot of casual sex, and unsafe sex by today's standards. Please bear in mind this is set before AIDS awareness hit in the eighties, and condoms were seldom used by homosexuals at the time. Some of the attitudes expressed are not very accepting, to say the least, but these are not a reflection of my own beliefs.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of the characters; I make no money from writing this, but I had an awful lot of fun making it up!
Beta: The always helpful siluria; thank you, my love!
Author’s Notes: Rock band AU written during S4 of Lost. This may go some way to explaining some of the characters' appearance and personalities. This story is set in the mid-seventies; way before cell phones and computers ruled our lives and before music was even on CDs, let alone downloadable online! Constant Daze is an up-and-coming band in a similar style to Bad Company.
This Chapter: Jack and Sawyer's antagonism is affecting everyone, and Charlie decides someone needs to be spoken to.
Beautiful banner made by janie_tangerine
Previous Chapters:
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six
Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve
Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen | Part Seventeen
Part Eighteen | Part Nineteen | Part Twenty
This Chapter:
It's never too late to change your mind
Get out and take what you need
It's never too late, so take your time
You just gotta believe
'Never Too Late' Bad Company
"No, no! Not like that. Can't you just get it through your damned head that it needs to be lower, softer; not so damned raunchy? It's supposed to be a love song, not an invitation to sex, Sawyer."
Jack looked at his wits' end as he burst out of the room where he and Sawyer usually wrote their songs when they needed time away from the assorted people hanging out with them. Charlie and Desmond were going over the bass line for Charlie's new song, and they stopped dead to watch as Jack crossed the room virtually at a run and disappeared out the doorway to the patio; Sawyer sauntering casually behind him until he reached the middle of the room.
"Well, it sounds like a come-on to me," Sawyer shouted after Jack. He shook his head and turned to smirk at Desmond and Charlie. "See? The stick's still firmly up there." Huffing like he wasn't surprised at the way things had gone, he wandered over to the fridge behind the bar to find a beer.
It was a week after their return to LA and the band were in the guest house at Jack's parent's place in Redwood Canyon where Jack currently lived, and where they normally practised and wrote songs. Jack's parents were fairly well off and allowed him to live rent free in the secluded modern villa.
Jack never seemed to mind any of them showing up to play or just shoot the breeze at almost any hour. They'd all taken advantage of the open door policy for a long time - some more than others - and Jack had been talking more again about converting the recreation room attached to it into a recording studio when he had enough money to do it justice, which would make it even better.
Charlie gave Sawyer a look as he moved across the room to take a seat on a worn old couch next to where Sayid was tuning a battered acoustic guitar.
"What?" Sawyer looked the epitome of innocent as he swiped a length of hair out of his eyes and gulped from the beer bottle.
"You really need to wind him up further?" Charlie asked, putting his bass down and walking over to the window to see where Jack had got to. "You don't think he's had enough crap lately?"
Jack was pacing outside, one hand scraping across his short hair, but he hadn't gone far. His expression looked grim.
Sawyer grinned again, patting Sayid's thigh casually before downing more beer. "He'll get over it."
Charlie exchanged a look with Desmond and then glanced at Sayid, who said nothing but looked tense enough to strike out at one wrong word.
Charlie wasn't sure he could make things any better, but he figured he had to at least try. Jack and Sawyer's working relationship had been even more strained than usual since they'd been back in LA. Although everyone had taken a couple of day's break from things, Jack had decided they should get together as soon as they could to work on finishing off the songs for the new album. He maintained it would be good to get moving on it while they were still all fired up from the tour, but Charlie was beginning to wonder if it wasn't too soon after all; perhaps Jack in particular was a little burnt out, especially considering happenings on the road.
Stepping out through the patio door, Charlie closed it behind him and headed across the paving stones to where Jack was still pacing unevenly.
"Jack?"
Jack looked up, lowering the hand that was still rubbing in nervous habit across his head. He looked terrible, Charlie realised; like he hadn't slept in days. "What?"
"You want us all to go; leave you alone for a while? You… you could probably use some rest. We could come back tomorrow?"
"No! No, I don't want you to leave. I…" Jack looked away, scowling, before turning an earnest look back on Charlie. "Last thing I need is to be alone right now, Charlie. Since… since Juliet left and then…" he gulped, his eyes straying like he couldn't look at Charlie, "With Sawyer playing his usual games…"
Charlie looked back towards the house for a moment; he could see Sawyer leaning towards Sayid on the couch like he was saying something intimate to him. Desmond was gazing out the window towards Charlie and Jack, a 'don't leave me alone with these two, ya bastard' expression on his face. Charlie winked at Desmond and turned back to Jack.
"I know it's none of my business, Jack, but what happened with Boone? If… if Sawyer did something, isn't it a little harsh to hold it against Boone? He really does care about you, from what I saw."
Jack's face went hard. "You're right, Charlie. It's none of your business. Just keep out of it."
Charlie took a breath, trying to keep calm. "It's affecting the band, Jack. Can't you see that? Look, I know you and Sawyer have had this love/hate relationship going for years, but the fall-out is becoming more than most of us can put up with. Des and I… we're like second-class citizens in this band some days and yet… we're the only ones keeping our personal business out of it, for the most part. One day, we'll get sick of it all and jump."
Jack blinked, looking at Charlie like he'd never considered that Charlie and Desmond could do such a thing. He flicked a look at the back of Sawyer's head before focusing back on Charlie.
"The songs that work best - and I don't even understand this myself - are the ones Sawyer and I write when we… when things aren't going so well between us. He…" Jack stopped, taking a moment to lick at his lips and gaze back in Sawyer's direction strangely before going on. "He likes winding me up because… I think he knows that. But I… I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Boone… I like Boone, but he let me down, and after Juliet, I don't think I can take any more of that kind of pain."
"Jack…" Charlie touched Jack's arm to get his attention, studying the hurt look in his eyes. "You shouldn't let Sawyer win this. You dropped Boone for him, you know."
Jack looked up sharply, fear replacing the worry that had previously filled his eyes. "What? I… there's never… Sawyer and I…"
It was Charlie's turn to blink. He hadn't meant to suggest there was anything sexual between them, despite recent happenings.
"I didn't mean that," Charlie said quickly, although now Jack had put the thought in his head he wondered why it had never occurred to him before. "What I meant was that you blamed whatever it was that happened on Boone, even though you know it had something to do with Sawyer. The guy delights in making you dance to his tune, and you just keep on shimmying along." He wiggled his body in emphasis. "Do you really wanna let him have that?
"Look what happened on the way to Reno. Sawyer enjoyed that way more than he should have and you…" Charlie paused, looking speculatively at Sawyer's back through the window for a second, remembering the way Sawyer had talked to Jack while they all watched from inside the bus.
Was there something between them? Blinking, he realised Jack was looking at him curiously. Awkwardly, he tried to pick up where he'd left off speaking. "You let him talk you down after that fight… and now it's all gone to crap again because of something that happened with him in San Francisco."
Words that hadn't made much sense came back to Charlie from the scene outside the hotel the morning they'd left San Francisco.
"I didn't ask him to get onto the damned bed! He was there when I walked into the room; ask Sayid!"
"You didn't exactly walk away though, did you? Just have to ruin things for me, every chance you get, don't you? Why? Why can't you just let me have something good for once?"
"We coulda..."
Something clicked inside Charlie's head and he narrowed his eyes at Jack, seeing something clearly at long last. Something that had probably almost happened; something that both men had pushed away from for whatever reason: the band's reputation; worry about what people around them would think; or perhaps their own repressions about it; who knew?
He looked over his shoulder once more, noting the way Sawyer was touching Sayid's arm. "He's got Sayid now; or at least they seem pretty chummy." Sayid was gazing at Sawyer with an unguarded look of fascination as the singer explained something. Although Charlie still hadn't worked out whether the 'relationship' between them was anything more serious than a tour fling, there was something in Sayid's expression which suggested there could be. Charlie bit at his lip, watching for a moment more.
Finally, he turned back to Jack. "Boone's a good kid, Jack. He wouldn't have done something to hurt you on purpose."
"I know that."
"Then… why don't you give him another chance?"
"It's not that simple, Charlie." Jack appeared flustered as he took a step back in the direction of the house. "Just… he waited around for me all that time and then… we'd hardly been together and he ends up getting screwed by Sawyer and Sayid like it's no big thing… oh, shit!"
Charlie's eyes must have widened to the point of comedy as Jack flushed and turned away. Charlie wasn't often at a loss for words, but Boone getting fucked by both Sawyer and Sayid was so not what he'd expected to hear, especially not from Jack's mouth. Jack was usually so careful what he told people; clearly he hadn't meant to let that little gem escape.
"Don't… don't tell anyone that," Jack warned, pacing uncertainly and throwing Charlie a dark look. "I… shit! What the fuck is with Sawyer, anyway? Why in hell does he pull this shit? Isn't it enough that he can fool around with any number of freaking groupies any time he wants, without getting his damned boyfriend in on it and… and taking away the only thing I had that was any good?"
"Hey, Jack… I… jeez, I dunno what to say. I won't tell anyone if that's what you want. And I have no idea why he does it." Charlie had more of an idea now than he had, but he wasn't about to suggest it to Jack. "But… isn't what you're doing letting Sawyer win, all the same? You should talk to Boone, man. Just… talk. Figure something out. If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for, don't you think?"
Jack looked at him silently for a moment, and then turned an angry frown on Sawyer's back. He let his eyes slowly come back to where Charlie waited patiently to hear what he would say, like a million thoughts were going through his head at once - which they probably were, knowing Jack - and then he nodded. "Maybe you're right. Thanks, Charlie."
"Are… uh… shall we go back inside?" Charlie looked sideways and started to grin as he caught sight of Desmond's face-pulling antics inside. "Think Des is about to commit harakiri if he's left alone with those two much longer."
Jack barked a laugh as he saw Desmond go cross-eyed and mime pulling a rope around his neck. "Think you might be right about that."
They approached the door to go in, but Jack stopped Charlie before he could open it. "Does… does anyone know where Boone lives?"
Charlie smiled. That was more like it. "Ask Des; I'm pretty sure Penny has contact details for both Boone and Shannon. They got fairly friendly, in case you hadn't noticed."
The dig at Jack's powers of observation caused another blush to cross the man's face, but he managed a smile. "Thanks. Yeah; Penny's been a good friend to him."
Charlie didn't say it, but he was pretty sure Jack was thinking it: A better friend than I've been.
~//~//~
Part Twenty-Two
Dell Refurbished Laptops
Characters: For this chapter - Charlie, Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, and Desmond
Pairing/s this chapter: mentions of Sawyer/Sayid, Jack/Boone and the recent threesome
Word Count: 2028
Rating: NC-17 overall for the whole fic. PG-13 for mentions of sex this chapter
Warnings: Through-out the fic there is quite a lot of casual sex, and unsafe sex by today's standards. Please bear in mind this is set before AIDS awareness hit in the eighties, and condoms were seldom used by homosexuals at the time. Some of the attitudes expressed are not very accepting, to say the least, but these are not a reflection of my own beliefs.
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost or any of the characters; I make no money from writing this, but I had an awful lot of fun making it up!
Beta: The always helpful siluria; thank you, my love!
Author’s Notes: Rock band AU written during S4 of Lost. This may go some way to explaining some of the characters' appearance and personalities. This story is set in the mid-seventies; way before cell phones and computers ruled our lives and before music was even on CDs, let alone downloadable online! Constant Daze is an up-and-coming band in a similar style to Bad Company.
This Chapter: Jack and Sawyer's antagonism is affecting everyone, and Charlie decides someone needs to be spoken to.
Beautiful banner made by janie_tangerine
Previous Chapters:
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six
Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve
Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen | Part Seventeen
Part Eighteen | Part Nineteen | Part Twenty
This Chapter:
It's never too late to change your mind
Get out and take what you need
It's never too late, so take your time
You just gotta believe
'Never Too Late' Bad Company
"No, no! Not like that. Can't you just get it through your damned head that it needs to be lower, softer; not so damned raunchy? It's supposed to be a love song, not an invitation to sex, Sawyer."
Jack looked at his wits' end as he burst out of the room where he and Sawyer usually wrote their songs when they needed time away from the assorted people hanging out with them. Charlie and Desmond were going over the bass line for Charlie's new song, and they stopped dead to watch as Jack crossed the room virtually at a run and disappeared out the doorway to the patio; Sawyer sauntering casually behind him until he reached the middle of the room.
"Well, it sounds like a come-on to me," Sawyer shouted after Jack. He shook his head and turned to smirk at Desmond and Charlie. "See? The stick's still firmly up there." Huffing like he wasn't surprised at the way things had gone, he wandered over to the fridge behind the bar to find a beer.
It was a week after their return to LA and the band were in the guest house at Jack's parent's place in Redwood Canyon where Jack currently lived, and where they normally practised and wrote songs. Jack's parents were fairly well off and allowed him to live rent free in the secluded modern villa.
Jack never seemed to mind any of them showing up to play or just shoot the breeze at almost any hour. They'd all taken advantage of the open door policy for a long time - some more than others - and Jack had been talking more again about converting the recreation room attached to it into a recording studio when he had enough money to do it justice, which would make it even better.
Charlie gave Sawyer a look as he moved across the room to take a seat on a worn old couch next to where Sayid was tuning a battered acoustic guitar.
"What?" Sawyer looked the epitome of innocent as he swiped a length of hair out of his eyes and gulped from the beer bottle.
"You really need to wind him up further?" Charlie asked, putting his bass down and walking over to the window to see where Jack had got to. "You don't think he's had enough crap lately?"
Jack was pacing outside, one hand scraping across his short hair, but he hadn't gone far. His expression looked grim.
Sawyer grinned again, patting Sayid's thigh casually before downing more beer. "He'll get over it."
Charlie exchanged a look with Desmond and then glanced at Sayid, who said nothing but looked tense enough to strike out at one wrong word.
Charlie wasn't sure he could make things any better, but he figured he had to at least try. Jack and Sawyer's working relationship had been even more strained than usual since they'd been back in LA. Although everyone had taken a couple of day's break from things, Jack had decided they should get together as soon as they could to work on finishing off the songs for the new album. He maintained it would be good to get moving on it while they were still all fired up from the tour, but Charlie was beginning to wonder if it wasn't too soon after all; perhaps Jack in particular was a little burnt out, especially considering happenings on the road.
Stepping out through the patio door, Charlie closed it behind him and headed across the paving stones to where Jack was still pacing unevenly.
"Jack?"
Jack looked up, lowering the hand that was still rubbing in nervous habit across his head. He looked terrible, Charlie realised; like he hadn't slept in days. "What?"
"You want us all to go; leave you alone for a while? You… you could probably use some rest. We could come back tomorrow?"
"No! No, I don't want you to leave. I…" Jack looked away, scowling, before turning an earnest look back on Charlie. "Last thing I need is to be alone right now, Charlie. Since… since Juliet left and then…" he gulped, his eyes straying like he couldn't look at Charlie, "With Sawyer playing his usual games…"
Charlie looked back towards the house for a moment; he could see Sawyer leaning towards Sayid on the couch like he was saying something intimate to him. Desmond was gazing out the window towards Charlie and Jack, a 'don't leave me alone with these two, ya bastard' expression on his face. Charlie winked at Desmond and turned back to Jack.
"I know it's none of my business, Jack, but what happened with Boone? If… if Sawyer did something, isn't it a little harsh to hold it against Boone? He really does care about you, from what I saw."
Jack's face went hard. "You're right, Charlie. It's none of your business. Just keep out of it."
Charlie took a breath, trying to keep calm. "It's affecting the band, Jack. Can't you see that? Look, I know you and Sawyer have had this love/hate relationship going for years, but the fall-out is becoming more than most of us can put up with. Des and I… we're like second-class citizens in this band some days and yet… we're the only ones keeping our personal business out of it, for the most part. One day, we'll get sick of it all and jump."
Jack blinked, looking at Charlie like he'd never considered that Charlie and Desmond could do such a thing. He flicked a look at the back of Sawyer's head before focusing back on Charlie.
"The songs that work best - and I don't even understand this myself - are the ones Sawyer and I write when we… when things aren't going so well between us. He…" Jack stopped, taking a moment to lick at his lips and gaze back in Sawyer's direction strangely before going on. "He likes winding me up because… I think he knows that. But I… I don't know how much longer I can deal with it. Boone… I like Boone, but he let me down, and after Juliet, I don't think I can take any more of that kind of pain."
"Jack…" Charlie touched Jack's arm to get his attention, studying the hurt look in his eyes. "You shouldn't let Sawyer win this. You dropped Boone for him, you know."
Jack looked up sharply, fear replacing the worry that had previously filled his eyes. "What? I… there's never… Sawyer and I…"
It was Charlie's turn to blink. He hadn't meant to suggest there was anything sexual between them, despite recent happenings.
"I didn't mean that," Charlie said quickly, although now Jack had put the thought in his head he wondered why it had never occurred to him before. "What I meant was that you blamed whatever it was that happened on Boone, even though you know it had something to do with Sawyer. The guy delights in making you dance to his tune, and you just keep on shimmying along." He wiggled his body in emphasis. "Do you really wanna let him have that?
"Look what happened on the way to Reno. Sawyer enjoyed that way more than he should have and you…" Charlie paused, looking speculatively at Sawyer's back through the window for a second, remembering the way Sawyer had talked to Jack while they all watched from inside the bus.
Was there something between them? Blinking, he realised Jack was looking at him curiously. Awkwardly, he tried to pick up where he'd left off speaking. "You let him talk you down after that fight… and now it's all gone to crap again because of something that happened with him in San Francisco."
Words that hadn't made much sense came back to Charlie from the scene outside the hotel the morning they'd left San Francisco.
"I didn't ask him to get onto the damned bed! He was there when I walked into the room; ask Sayid!"
"You didn't exactly walk away though, did you? Just have to ruin things for me, every chance you get, don't you? Why? Why can't you just let me have something good for once?"
"We coulda..."
Something clicked inside Charlie's head and he narrowed his eyes at Jack, seeing something clearly at long last. Something that had probably almost happened; something that both men had pushed away from for whatever reason: the band's reputation; worry about what people around them would think; or perhaps their own repressions about it; who knew?
He looked over his shoulder once more, noting the way Sawyer was touching Sayid's arm. "He's got Sayid now; or at least they seem pretty chummy." Sayid was gazing at Sawyer with an unguarded look of fascination as the singer explained something. Although Charlie still hadn't worked out whether the 'relationship' between them was anything more serious than a tour fling, there was something in Sayid's expression which suggested there could be. Charlie bit at his lip, watching for a moment more.
Finally, he turned back to Jack. "Boone's a good kid, Jack. He wouldn't have done something to hurt you on purpose."
"I know that."
"Then… why don't you give him another chance?"
"It's not that simple, Charlie." Jack appeared flustered as he took a step back in the direction of the house. "Just… he waited around for me all that time and then… we'd hardly been together and he ends up getting screwed by Sawyer and Sayid like it's no big thing… oh, shit!"
Charlie's eyes must have widened to the point of comedy as Jack flushed and turned away. Charlie wasn't often at a loss for words, but Boone getting fucked by both Sawyer and Sayid was so not what he'd expected to hear, especially not from Jack's mouth. Jack was usually so careful what he told people; clearly he hadn't meant to let that little gem escape.
"Don't… don't tell anyone that," Jack warned, pacing uncertainly and throwing Charlie a dark look. "I… shit! What the fuck is with Sawyer, anyway? Why in hell does he pull this shit? Isn't it enough that he can fool around with any number of freaking groupies any time he wants, without getting his damned boyfriend in on it and… and taking away the only thing I had that was any good?"
"Hey, Jack… I… jeez, I dunno what to say. I won't tell anyone if that's what you want. And I have no idea why he does it." Charlie had more of an idea now than he had, but he wasn't about to suggest it to Jack. "But… isn't what you're doing letting Sawyer win, all the same? You should talk to Boone, man. Just… talk. Figure something out. If it's worth having, it's worth fighting for, don't you think?"
Jack looked at him silently for a moment, and then turned an angry frown on Sawyer's back. He let his eyes slowly come back to where Charlie waited patiently to hear what he would say, like a million thoughts were going through his head at once - which they probably were, knowing Jack - and then he nodded. "Maybe you're right. Thanks, Charlie."
"Are… uh… shall we go back inside?" Charlie looked sideways and started to grin as he caught sight of Desmond's face-pulling antics inside. "Think Des is about to commit harakiri if he's left alone with those two much longer."
Jack barked a laugh as he saw Desmond go cross-eyed and mime pulling a rope around his neck. "Think you might be right about that."
They approached the door to go in, but Jack stopped Charlie before he could open it. "Does… does anyone know where Boone lives?"
Charlie smiled. That was more like it. "Ask Des; I'm pretty sure Penny has contact details for both Boone and Shannon. They got fairly friendly, in case you hadn't noticed."
The dig at Jack's powers of observation caused another blush to cross the man's face, but he managed a smile. "Thanks. Yeah; Penny's been a good friend to him."
Charlie didn't say it, but he was pretty sure Jack was thinking it: A better friend than I've been.
~//~//~
Part Twenty-Two
Dell Refurbished Laptops