H50 fic: Nothing But the Earth and Sky 4/9
Title: Nothing But the Earth & Sky, Chapter 4 of 9 (Part Three of All That the Universe Allows)
Pairing/Characters: Steve, Danny, Chin, Kono
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1202 for this chapter
Rating: R
Warnings/Spoilers: None for the show; beware of angst!
Disclaimer: I have not suddenly been gifted with rights; I make up these stories for free
Beta: siluria once again helped me more than she realizes.
Summary: In the last part, Steve crashed his truck and ended up badly concussed, which affected his memories of the last few months. In this part we start off where Danny, having re-confessed his own feelings for Steve, has just found out how Steve really feels about him
Author’s Notes: This is the third and final part to my series, All That the Universe Allows, in which Steve has been involved with Pete, a guy 15 years younger than him, to Danny's initial disapproval. This part alternates between Danny and Steve's POVs, and is nine completed chapters long. I will post as and when I can, hopefully to be done within a week or so.
NB: this chapter can also be read here at AO3
The inside of Steve's mouth felt like sandpaper, and his head throbbed. He managed to open one eye long enough to see it was daylight, but closing it again seemed like a good idea considering how bright the day seemed and how dull Steve felt.
The last few days were a blur of self-pity and drinking, and Steve wasn't even sure how he'd made it to his own bed from his last memory of being close to wasted on his couch downstairs, but apparently he had somehow; the cracked-open eye had told him that much.
A noise from downstairs made him blink awake properly, and he tried to sit up. His head nearly exploded at the motion, and his stomach roiled. He lay flat again and groaned. Jesus! He had to move - someone was in the house, and there was no way it was Pete; not after how things had ended the other day.
There was a loud crash, making Steve jump, and then "Shit!" in Danny's voice floated up the stairs.
Thank God! Steve managed a smile, followed rapidly by a frown. Thank goodness it was only Danny, not an intruder, but… yeah, not good either. Steve hadn't seen Danny in days, and his last attempt to contact him - and Danny's disinterest in seeing him - had been the straw that broke the camel's back, sending Steve spiraling into self-pity.
He'd wanted to see Danny after Pete left, but even then he wasn't sure how it would go. Now, it seemed unlikely he'd get what he wanted, despite the presence of Danny here in the house now. Why had he come, how long had he been here, and - more immediately - what was he doing to cause all the noise?
More slowly this time, Steve sat up, wincing at the stabbing pain behind his eyes as he slid towards the edge of the bed. He took a breath before standing, and gingerly made his way to the bathroom, holding on to whatever he could find to support himself as his head continued to spin. At the bathroom mirror, he scowled at his sallow skin and three-day growth before opening the door to reach for Advil. Swallowing two dry, he bent to gulp at a handful of water from the basin to wash them from where they'd stuck in his throat.
Steve lifted his head, shutting the cabinet door again and took another look at himself in the mirror. Frowning slightly, he took note for the first time of what he was wearing: a white t-shirt, one that looked a lot cleaner than the one he'd lived in for the last few days. If he remembered correctly, the one he had been in when he'd started drinking was dark blue. Gazing downwards, he blinked at the pale grey sweatpants he wore. He was almost certain he'd been wearing cargo pants before today, and he definitely didn't remember changing.
How long had Danny been here?
Turning away from the mirror, he moved cautiously but with purpose, leaving the room and heading downstairs.
In the kitchen doorway, he came to a stop, watching Danny with his back to him as he washed dishes in the sink. On the way through, Steve had noted the state of the living room - much improved from when Steve had last been in it - and he smiled half-heartedly at the clean and shiny kitchen; that too was very different from how he remembered.
Clearing his throat, he waited until Danny turned before saying anything. "Thank you."
Danny nodded, his smile uneasy. "You're welcome. How're you feeling?"
"I've been better. I…" Steve moved into the room, managing to find the back of a chair for support, and pulling it out to sit on before his unsteady head made him fall. Placing the arm with the cast on the table, he sighed, and picked at an imagined loose end of the plaster before looking back at Danny, who hadn't moved from where he stood. "I'm sorry, Danny. You didn't need this. Did I call you?"
"No, I… uh, came over after we wrapped the last case and I'd seen Grace and then slept some. I'm sorry I left it so long, but… I figured you had Pete here to keep an eye on you. Seems I was wrong." He looked at Steve, his expression uneasy. "I never figured you for the kind to drown your sorrows in booze when someone left you."
"Me neither," Steve admitted, looking away. The last thing he was about to admit was why he was really drinking.
Danny made a soft non-committal sound, and then turned back around, going back to washing dishes. Steve studied his back silently for a while, trying to find words, but he wasn't sure what else there was to say.
After a while, Danny let the water out of the sink, making a show of wiping the counter and drying his hands. He moved over to the coffee machine and reached for mugs, pouring the liquid carefully before bringing the drinks to the table and sliding one across to Steve. "Strong and black, I think," he said, quirking an eyebrow in Steve's direction.
"Yeah, thanks. I guess…" Steve started cautiously, feeling nervous under Danny's scrutiny. "I probably told you what happened?"
"Some," Danny agreed, "Though I'm not sure how much of that was the booze talking."
"He left me; what else is there?"
"You loved him and his leaving made you miserable, and when I didn't have time to talk, you decided to drown your sorrows. For close to three days."
Steve met Danny's eyes before he spoke. "That's just it; I didn't love him."
Danny squinted at him disbelievingly. "I don't get it."
"Guilt, I guess." Steve shrugged, turning away before he let out the real reason.
"Guilt? You lost it because of guilt? I don't buy that."
"What?" Steve frowned as he looked back at Danny. "I should have… worked harder to keep him."
Danny nodded and sipped from his coffee. "You sure that's it?"
Steve turned his cup around, looking into the coffee as he blew on its surface. He swallowed a hot mouthful and nodded. He couldn't go into the rest of it.
Danny huffed a quiet laugh and drank more coffee. "Last night…"
Steve was suddenly stricken with the thought that he'd said something he shouldn't have to Danny last night. Something that made him clean up after Steve and stay long enough for Steve to wake up this morning. "What did I say?" he said in horror at the thought.
"Very little that made any sense."
"Danny, I…"
Danny waved a hand. "Listen, if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. I only stayed to make sure you actually woke up this morning. There's fruit and yoghurt in the fridge if you want it." He stood up. "I should go."
Steve bit at his lip, unable to let any of it out. He nodded, gazing blindly at his coffee as Danny moved past him. "Thank you, again." He just managed to keep the waver out of his voice.
"Welcome," Danny said, and left.
Steve closed his eyes, gripping his cup tightly. He didn't deserve Danny.
~//~//~
Chapter 5
Pairing/Characters: Steve, Danny, Chin, Kono
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1202 for this chapter
Rating: R
Warnings/Spoilers: None for the show; beware of angst!
Disclaimer: I have not suddenly been gifted with rights; I make up these stories for free
Beta: siluria once again helped me more than she realizes.
Summary: In the last part, Steve crashed his truck and ended up badly concussed, which affected his memories of the last few months. In this part we start off where Danny, having re-confessed his own feelings for Steve, has just found out how Steve really feels about him
Author’s Notes: This is the third and final part to my series, All That the Universe Allows, in which Steve has been involved with Pete, a guy 15 years younger than him, to Danny's initial disapproval. This part alternates between Danny and Steve's POVs, and is nine completed chapters long. I will post as and when I can, hopefully to be done within a week or so.
NB: this chapter can also be read here at AO3
The inside of Steve's mouth felt like sandpaper, and his head throbbed. He managed to open one eye long enough to see it was daylight, but closing it again seemed like a good idea considering how bright the day seemed and how dull Steve felt.
The last few days were a blur of self-pity and drinking, and Steve wasn't even sure how he'd made it to his own bed from his last memory of being close to wasted on his couch downstairs, but apparently he had somehow; the cracked-open eye had told him that much.
A noise from downstairs made him blink awake properly, and he tried to sit up. His head nearly exploded at the motion, and his stomach roiled. He lay flat again and groaned. Jesus! He had to move - someone was in the house, and there was no way it was Pete; not after how things had ended the other day.
There was a loud crash, making Steve jump, and then "Shit!" in Danny's voice floated up the stairs.
Thank God! Steve managed a smile, followed rapidly by a frown. Thank goodness it was only Danny, not an intruder, but… yeah, not good either. Steve hadn't seen Danny in days, and his last attempt to contact him - and Danny's disinterest in seeing him - had been the straw that broke the camel's back, sending Steve spiraling into self-pity.
He'd wanted to see Danny after Pete left, but even then he wasn't sure how it would go. Now, it seemed unlikely he'd get what he wanted, despite the presence of Danny here in the house now. Why had he come, how long had he been here, and - more immediately - what was he doing to cause all the noise?
More slowly this time, Steve sat up, wincing at the stabbing pain behind his eyes as he slid towards the edge of the bed. He took a breath before standing, and gingerly made his way to the bathroom, holding on to whatever he could find to support himself as his head continued to spin. At the bathroom mirror, he scowled at his sallow skin and three-day growth before opening the door to reach for Advil. Swallowing two dry, he bent to gulp at a handful of water from the basin to wash them from where they'd stuck in his throat.
Steve lifted his head, shutting the cabinet door again and took another look at himself in the mirror. Frowning slightly, he took note for the first time of what he was wearing: a white t-shirt, one that looked a lot cleaner than the one he'd lived in for the last few days. If he remembered correctly, the one he had been in when he'd started drinking was dark blue. Gazing downwards, he blinked at the pale grey sweatpants he wore. He was almost certain he'd been wearing cargo pants before today, and he definitely didn't remember changing.
How long had Danny been here?
Turning away from the mirror, he moved cautiously but with purpose, leaving the room and heading downstairs.
In the kitchen doorway, he came to a stop, watching Danny with his back to him as he washed dishes in the sink. On the way through, Steve had noted the state of the living room - much improved from when Steve had last been in it - and he smiled half-heartedly at the clean and shiny kitchen; that too was very different from how he remembered.
Clearing his throat, he waited until Danny turned before saying anything. "Thank you."
Danny nodded, his smile uneasy. "You're welcome. How're you feeling?"
"I've been better. I…" Steve moved into the room, managing to find the back of a chair for support, and pulling it out to sit on before his unsteady head made him fall. Placing the arm with the cast on the table, he sighed, and picked at an imagined loose end of the plaster before looking back at Danny, who hadn't moved from where he stood. "I'm sorry, Danny. You didn't need this. Did I call you?"
"No, I… uh, came over after we wrapped the last case and I'd seen Grace and then slept some. I'm sorry I left it so long, but… I figured you had Pete here to keep an eye on you. Seems I was wrong." He looked at Steve, his expression uneasy. "I never figured you for the kind to drown your sorrows in booze when someone left you."
"Me neither," Steve admitted, looking away. The last thing he was about to admit was why he was really drinking.
Danny made a soft non-committal sound, and then turned back around, going back to washing dishes. Steve studied his back silently for a while, trying to find words, but he wasn't sure what else there was to say.
After a while, Danny let the water out of the sink, making a show of wiping the counter and drying his hands. He moved over to the coffee machine and reached for mugs, pouring the liquid carefully before bringing the drinks to the table and sliding one across to Steve. "Strong and black, I think," he said, quirking an eyebrow in Steve's direction.
"Yeah, thanks. I guess…" Steve started cautiously, feeling nervous under Danny's scrutiny. "I probably told you what happened?"
"Some," Danny agreed, "Though I'm not sure how much of that was the booze talking."
"He left me; what else is there?"
"You loved him and his leaving made you miserable, and when I didn't have time to talk, you decided to drown your sorrows. For close to three days."
Steve met Danny's eyes before he spoke. "That's just it; I didn't love him."
Danny squinted at him disbelievingly. "I don't get it."
"Guilt, I guess." Steve shrugged, turning away before he let out the real reason.
"Guilt? You lost it because of guilt? I don't buy that."
"What?" Steve frowned as he looked back at Danny. "I should have… worked harder to keep him."
Danny nodded and sipped from his coffee. "You sure that's it?"
Steve turned his cup around, looking into the coffee as he blew on its surface. He swallowed a hot mouthful and nodded. He couldn't go into the rest of it.
Danny huffed a quiet laugh and drank more coffee. "Last night…"
Steve was suddenly stricken with the thought that he'd said something he shouldn't have to Danny last night. Something that made him clean up after Steve and stay long enough for Steve to wake up this morning. "What did I say?" he said in horror at the thought.
"Very little that made any sense."
"Danny, I…"
Danny waved a hand. "Listen, if you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. I only stayed to make sure you actually woke up this morning. There's fruit and yoghurt in the fridge if you want it." He stood up. "I should go."
Steve bit at his lip, unable to let any of it out. He nodded, gazing blindly at his coffee as Danny moved past him. "Thank you, again." He just managed to keep the waver out of his voice.
"Welcome," Danny said, and left.
Steve closed his eyes, gripping his cup tightly. He didn't deserve Danny.
~//~//~
Chapter 5