(no subject)
argh
games
not meshing with reality
my reality, i mean
yes-or-no
so simple
please.... please? i need to move on one way or another, i can't keep winding the fence around myself more and more times, wrapping myself more and more tightly at this tiny singularity, this blip-point where i can still see the whole grand universe full of potential and what am i waiting for? what the hell are you waiting for?
christmas?
hahahabeltaine?ifonly!!!!!!!
i think i'm going a bit mad.
or it's a hormone thing.
either you want more or you don't want more, what the hell do you want? how can you not know? sometimes i feel like you just want to have your cake and eat it too. you don't even have an incentive to decide. you're getting the best of all worlds. i know, this is all bullshit, isn't it. whatever, there's still a part of me that still feels like i'm simply your plaything but i've fallen for it. i've fallen for the whole fucking fantasy. i hate that i can't move on, that i can't just say, "you know what? you took too long. i'm going now, see ya!"
what's wrong with me? i think i'm going to just go wallow in my stasis and cry.
see ya.