[b1a4] an eventful afternoon in the life of lee sprout-deul which may or may not involve viagra
Title: An Eventful Afternoon in the Life of Lee Sprout-deul Which May or May Not Involve Viagra
Pairing: Sandeul/Jinyoung
Rating: NC-17; Warning: Um. Well. Sex with a plant. Mentions of possible M-Preg.
Summary: In which Baro waters Sandeul-the-sprout with Viagra and /things happen/. Sequel to A Day in the Life of Lee Sprout-deul
Word count: ~2,500
an eventful afternoon in the life of lee sprout-deul which may or may not involve viagra;;-
// i don't know what this is please don't ask me //
The second time Sandeul turns into a sprout, none of B1A4 are even surprised anymore.
(Gongchan still screams a little though, but that’s mainly because he wakes up to see a giant sprout peering over the edge of the bed straight into his fucking face, and who wouldn’t scream at that.)
“Oh,” Shinwoo yawns, staring at the limp green thing in Sandeul’s bunk disdainfully. “Guys, I think Sandeul’s turned into a sprout again.”
He looks very calm. So calm that no one would guess that his bandmate just turned into a fucking sprout for the second time in a month.
Sandeul wriggles his left leaf in a greeting, moping at his green sproutiness.
“Well, this is convenient,” Baro remarks sarcastically, pulling on his hoodie and tiptoeing to peer at Sandeul-the-sprout. “I’m pretty sure we’re supposed to have a fanmeeting today.”
“How can we have a fanmeeting when Sandeul hyung’s a sprout again. Oh god what are we gonna do the fans will figure out that he’s a sprout if he comes along and maybe they’ll try to make him into Kimchi Jjigae,” Gongchan wails softly under his breath, and Jinyoung jabs him in the arm.
“He’s not very tasty, just saying,” Baro rolls his eyes, and pokes the lethargic Sandeul. Sprout-deul flaps his leaves in depression, trying to convey his troubled emotions.
“Guys, uh, can any of you understand…sprout…ean?” Shinwoo squints at the sprout flapping around. “Because I certainly can’t.”
Sandeul-the-sprout curls up a little and flaps some more.
“I’m a fucking sprout again,” he flaps, “isn’t anyone, you know, worried that I might be a sprout forever?”
He gets nothing but blank stares and a poke from Baro.
“Ahhh? AHHH? HELLO? NYAH NYAH NYAH? JINYOUNG IS AN IDIOT? BARO YOUR BREATH STINKS?”
“I think he’s saying that he loves us,” Baro interprets hesitantly, and Sandeul would throw his hands up in exasperation if he had hands, but he doesn’t so he just stops flapping and wilts in dejection.
Baro pats him on his sprouty head sympathetically.
Five minutes later, they’re all gathered in the living room, and Baro’s dragging a limp Sprout-deul in by the leaf.
“Ow you idiot, that hurts,” Sandeul thinks, but he’s too mopey to do anything about it, so he just lets himself be dragged and dumped in a chair.
“Come on, you guys know the drill,” Jinyoung sighs and pulls out his phone, ready to text their manager. “What excuses do we have for today?”
“Deng-“
“Can we possibly not go down the highly contagious and infectious tropical diseases route again? We got into so much trouble last time when manager hyung figured out that Sandeul didn’t actually have Dengue Fever,” Shinwoo interjects, exasperated.
“But that was Jinyoung hyung’s idea, hyung,” Gongchan whines, and Jinyoung punches him in the stomach. “And stop punching me in the stomach; I’m a poor defenceless maknae, which makes you a bully and a bad leader.”
Jinyoung punches him again, and Gongchan shuts up.
“What about…I don’t know, he fell into the toilet and got flushed away?”
“He got eaten by a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex?”
“Some crazy fangirl from Australia kidnapped him and is making him ride in kangaroo pouches because she thinks it would look cute?”
“Hold up, hold up, where did that last one even come from?”
“I don’t know, it somehow seems plausible,” Baro replies, shrugging. Jinyoung heaves a sigh.
“You guys are all hopeless.” Sandeul thinks, and wriggles off the chair into the bathroom to water his roots.
Two hours and some excuse that their gullible manager buys later (Sandeul doesn’t know how they did it, really, who in their right mind would believe anything they said after that Dengue Fever episode), Baro’s lounging on the couch, Shinwoo’s in the kitchen, Gongchan is fiddling with a very annoyed Sprout-deul’s leaves and Jinyoung is on the computer searching up solutions again for turning sprouts back to normal.
“Guys, do you remember anything you did last time that might’ve turned him back?” Jinyoung asks, and Baro stretches out on the sofa.
“Well, last time I watered him with the bucket that was outside, but I think the neighbour’s cat might’ve peed in it,” Baro muses, and Sandeul freezes, horrified. “We can always kidnap the neighbour’s cat and make her pee on Sandeul?”
“Baro, seriously, what is WRONG with you?” Jinyoung asks, typing ‘how to turn sprouts back to normal’ into the Google search bar.
“Nooooothing,” Baro replies, yawning, and rolls of the sofa to look at Jinyoung’s computer screen. “But hyung, why on earth are you searching up how to grow marijuana?”
“Did I hear ‘marijuana’?” Shinwoo pokes his head in from the kitchen and narrows his eyes suspiciously at the three boys and one sprout in the living room. Baro nods happily and Jinyoung smacks him on the head without taking his eyes away from the computer screen.
“Shinwoo hyuuuung, Jinyoung hyung might be a druggie,” Gongchan wails, and also gets smacked on the head by Jinyoung.
“My god guys, I think you’d notice if I were, we’re together pretty much every second of the day, as annoying as that is,” Jinyoung glares at Baro, who grins back. “Anyway, what do we do with him,” he continues, motioning to the wilting limp mass sitting between Gongchan’s legs. The mass formerly known as Sandeul flails weakly and collapses again.
“How about we plant him in one of these pots and keep him next to the window of our room for now? You know, so he has some air. Any maybe we should water him,” Shinwoo suggests, examining the rather dehydrated looking plant.
The others shrug their shoulders in agreement, except for Jinyoung, who purses his lips and frowns.
“Wait, wait, that’s right next to where I sleep,” he protests.
“Aaaaaaand?” Baro replies, smirking slightly.
“…it’s kind of creepy to have a sprout right next to my head when I’m sleeping,” Jinyoung says, and rubs the back of his neck. “Not that I have anything against Sandeul, of course.”
“Just make sure that you don’t smoke him,” Baro chortles, and drags the pot in, shoving a protesting Sandeul into the soil.
Jinyoung just sighs.
About an hour later, Sandeul’s snug in his pot, feeling very bored and depressed. The whole not being able to communicate thing was getting on his nerves, and no amount of good fertiliser and fresh air was going to help him.
The other four play scissors-paper-rock to decide who would do the grocery shopping, and in the end it’s decided that Shinwoo and Gongchan would be in charge of groceries and lunch for today. Baro, however, insists on going with them for some reason, so Jinyoung good-naturedly appoints himself as the house…and plant-sitter.
“You guys get ready first, I’m going to go water Sandeul,” Baro says to Gongchan and Shinwoo, who just shrug and stand by the door unsuspectingly.
“You seem a bit down today,” Baro remarks, walking into the room where Sandeul is, and starts pouring the liquid into the soil surrounding him. “Here, I put something extra special in the water today. It’ll make you…perkier…”
“Oh no. Ohhhh no,” Sandeul thinks, trying to escape, but sprouts don’t have legs and he’s firmly planted into the soil which is absorbing whatever Baro’s pouring right this moment. Sandeul doesn’t like the sound of Baro’s cackling -- it's the cackling that emerges whenever that boy has an evil plan, and it usually ends up being Sandeul’s misfortune.
“It should take effect pretty soon,” Baro explains gleefully, and sniggers as he sees Sandeul’s leaves tense up.
Oh god. Oh god.
Sandeul thinks that he might just want to die right this moment. He has absolutely no fucking idea how it’s possible, but he thinks that just maybe, he’s getting a hard on.
He’s a sprout, and he’s getting a fucking hard on.
“Baro, you, oh my god I am going to kill you when I turn back to normal just…oh my god,” Sandeul thinks viciously, wishing he was telepathic.
At that moment, Jinyoung barges into the room holding an empty box with a puzzled expression. He looks at Baro with the watering can, then at Sandeul-the-sprout whose leaves seem much bigger and wider and pinker than usual, and he swears he sees tendrils sprouting from his stem.
“Um,” Jinyoung starts, pieces clicking in his brain. He looks back down at the container with a horrified expression. “Baro, did you just water Sandeul with Viagra?”
Baro nods happily. “Mixed with watermelon juice!”
Jinyoung stares at him, gaping stupidly.
“What? I heard it was a natural aphrodisiac.”
“Oh my fucking god, Baro I’m going to actually kill you,” Jinyoung hisses, and tries to grab him. Baro dodges the leader’s hand and chortles, helpfully shutting the door on his way out.
“Going shopping now, be back in an hour, have fun!” Jinyoung hears through the door, and proceeds to slam his head into the wall.
“Well, this is awkward,” Sprout-deul thinks, tendrils elongating and reaching inadvertently towards Jinyoung.
Jinyoung stares at Sandeul-the-sprout, whose pink flush is growing on his green skin, and curses internally to himself as he realises that he may or may not actually be turned on by a sprout.
“Are you…” Jinyoung starts, and Sandeul presses a leaf to the Jinyoung’s mouth, shutting him up.
Sandeul extends his other tendrils to the edge of Jinyoung’s t-shirt and lifts upwards, showing an expanse of torso, and runs his free tendrils up Jinyoung’s chest. Jinyoung curses mentally, but doesn’t move away. The tips of his tendrils drag across his pale skin, and he circles Jinyoung’s nipple, forcing out a hiss from him.
“God, Sandeul, that tickles,” Jinyoung mumbles, but doesn’t protest and Sandeul shoots out two more tendrils to wrap around his wrists and render him unable to move his arms. More tendrils travel to his belt buckles and inside the edge of his pants and before he knows it, they’re inside and on his cock and he’s getting a hard on and it’s just so wrong.
“I can’t believe I’m getting off to a fucking sprout,” Jinyoung mumbles, and suppresses a groan as Sandeul’s tendrils wrap around his cock. Somehow, Sandeul undoes his belt and unzips his pants (and Jinyoung has absolutely no idea how a sprout has so much strength in him, but then again it was probably just the Viagra talking).
“Well I can’t believe I’m a fucking sprout,” Sandeul thinks, stroking Jinyoung’s length. “And I also cannot believe that I am actually doing this.”
“This is so, fucking, wrong, what,” Jinyoung breathes as a tendril tip pokes under his foreskin and into the head and he stifles a groan. His hands are fully restrained, and Sandeul extends a leafy tendril to stroke his face, running the tip over his nose, his cheekbones, through his hair and grabs him by the back of his neck.
“I am never going to live this down,” Jinyoung breathes raggedly, and twitches uncomfortably as Sandeul rubs a leaf across his balls.
“Yeah, neither am I,” Sandeul thinks, and pumps up and down Jinyoung’s cock, gently at first, then reaching more tendrils around and jerking him off in large motions.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jinyoung mumbles, incoherent, and shudders as he starts to see white.
Jinyoung comes in hot spurts onto the soil surrounding Sandeul. He closes his eyes, riding out his orgasm, and opens his eyes to see stray strings of come all over his thighs and Sandeul-the-sprout.
Sandeul releases the tendrils securing Jinyoung’s wrists, and Jinyoung rubs at them a little, bruises fresh and purple.
Sprout-deul’s pink flush dies down, and he’s completely green before he start flailing his leaves again.
“What’s wrong?” Jinyoung asks, alarmed, and Sandeul just jabs a tendril in the direction of Jinyoung’s white come disappearing into the soil.
“Hyung, I think I’m absorbing it,” he thinks, not that Jinyoung can hear him, but the message seems to get across.
“Oh my god,” Jinyoung says, horrified. “Can sprouts get pregnant? Please tell me no.”
“Hyung, it’s time to-“ Gongchan bursts into the room, and immediately drops his mug and raises his hands to cover his eyes in horror.
“Oh my fucking god, hyung,” Gongchan wails, “can’t you two learn to keep it in your pants, stem, whatever it is, oh my god, my eyes.” He slams the door shut on his way out. Jinyoung can still hear his wailing and Baro’s cackling from the living room.
He looks down at his embarrassingly naked body, then to Sandeul, still covered in come, and closes his eyes, wishing he could sink through the floor.
“Oh my god, I’m gonna kill Baro,” he hears, and jumps in shock as he sees a stark naked Sandeul. A stark naked human Sandeul, standing inside the pot. There’s a silence before Jinyoung turns and faces away.
“This is so not awkward,” Jinyoung remarks, grabbing his clothes quickly and tugging them on. Sandeul jumps out of the pot and dives under the nearest pile of blankets he finds.
“Oh my god,” Jinyoung hears from under the covers. “Did I just…with you...”
“Yeah, I think we did,” Jinyoung replies, zipping up his pants.
“We shall never mention today ever again,” Sandeul says, still hidden under the blankets in embarrassment, and Jinyoung feels a twinge of regret (because yeah, Sandeul-the-sprout was pretty fucking good in…pot).
“Come on,” Jinyoung sighs, “I think we have to go to the fanmeeting now after all, now that you’re back to normal.”
Thirty minutes later, a sproutling is growing out from the top of Sandeul’s head, to Jinyoung’s horror. Both Sandeul and Jinyoung blush violently when Shinwoo asks about it.
“I think it’s better that you don’t ask, hyung,” Baro says knowingly, and both Sandeul and Jinyoung shoot daggers at him with their eyes.
“Oh,” the manager remarks when he walks into the room, staring at Sandeul. He turns to Jinyoung. “When you said he turned into a sprout did you mean that he’d pretend to be a sprout for the fans? Because of the dance?”
Jinyoung slowly nods an affirmative, shrugging his shoulders at the others.
“Oh, well, that’s a very good idea! Get ready to leave in half an hour,” he says, and walks out.
They all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Thank god for stupid managers.
(“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you,” Jinyoung hisses to Baro when they’re in the van on the way to the fansigning.
“Oh shush hyung, you loved it,” Baro whispers back, looking over to the sleeping Sandeul, sproutling swaying in the breeze, and Jinyoung can’t deny that he did.)
a/n:i don't even know who i was writing this for anymore omg. probably flusteredmess lmao. yeah. ALSO. i am not kidding you with that google result CLICK HERE TO SEE why do i do this omg.