[b1a4] makes life hard; sandeul/gongchan; nc-17
Title: Makes Life Hard
Pairing: Sandeul/Gongchan
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Chanshik is possibly the most stubborn maknae ever. That’s why he makes Junghwan’s life hard, in more ways that one. Set in canon.
Warnings: Chanshik’s surgery, slight hurt/comfort
Word Count: ~8,900
A/N: This...originated from a document I found in my WIP folder where hotarumyst, potaoto and I had round robin written like 700 words of Gongdeul PWP. I dusted it off added some things and added a plot (if you can call that a plot l m a o) and et voila :3 I haven’t written/posted B1A4 in such a long time and I wrote this in basically two sittings so I’m sorry if this is weird ;___; some of the canon might be wrong. I used creative liberties. Thank you potaoto for giving it a read over and correcting my typos keke :3
makes life hard;;-
// chanshik, stubbornness, ducks, and puppies. //
Chanshik, Junghwan thinks, likes to make life hard.
Two weeks ago, Junghwan had been sure that something was wrong with Chanshik. He hadn’t been dancing all that well during rehearsals, constantly clutching his side in pain-but had just grinned and shook his head with that puppy-dog smile of his when Junghwan had cornered him quietly him after rehearsals, a bottle of water held out. “Don’t worry, hyung, I’m fine. I probably just ate something bad,” Chanshik had said, accepting the water and gulping it down like his life depended on it. Junghwan had just given him one last suspicious look and let him be.
That pain turned out to be kidney failure.
“You idiot,” Jinyoung says after they get out of the doctor’s examination room, running a hand angrily through his hair. “Channie, why didn’t you tell us that you were hurting?” The guilt in Jinyoung’s eyes is almost too much for Junghwan to handle, and he gently gathers Jinyoung in his arms and guides him to the van seat before Jinyoung dents the van doors with his bare fists. “Chanshik, we’re stopping promotions right now, and you’re getting surgery. You can’t dance on stage when one of your kidneys isn’t working-”
“I’ll be fine, hyung,” Chanshik says meekly. “I can take painkillers. I’ll be able to dance. I don’t want to delay B1A4 promotions.”
“Chanshik-ah, please listen to Jinyoung,” Dongwoo says, gently but firmly. Sunwoo nods in agreement, crossing his arms and frowning (and looking more like an angry plush toy than a stern, commanding hyung, Junghwan thinks, but that’s besides the purpose). “I don’t want you to do this.”
But Chanshik, always the stubborn maknae, somehow manages to convince management to continue on, not that management is ever difficult to convince when it involves more work. They want to maximise their profits, after all.
The rest of the members are stuck with feeding Chanshik five different types of painkillers for the rest of Sleep Well, Good Night promotions, or in Junghwan’s case, making sure Chanshik actually takes his medicine.
“Surgery. Now,” Jinyoung commands, the instant their last performance is over. Chanshik has purple circles under his eyes, and he’s paler and thinner than Junghwan has ever seen him before.
Junghwan can only sigh and feel his heart twinge as this stubborn maknae of theirs crumples in pain in the dressing room, finally letting his weakness show.
The surgery goes smoothly.
Chanshik’s smiling the next time Junghwan sees him, propped up in his hospital bed. As usual, he thinks, sliding the door closed behind him-Chanshik doesn’t know how to do anything else but smile awkwardly to hide his pain, even from those closest to him. It’s almost like smiling is his natural defence, and Junghwan-Junghwan understands. It’s something that he’s done before, too, once upon a time when he was struggling with his self-esteem.
“Hyung!” Chanshik says, surprise colouring his voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Visting, you dumbass,” Junghwan says fondly, rolling his eyes. “The others are still filming their sections. I got off early.” His eyes land on Chanshik’s lap, where a food tray sits. The rice porridge in Chanshik’s bowl seems...less than adequate, so Junghwan fishes something out of his jacket pocket and slides it over to Chanshik. “Here. I stole it from Sunwoo’s snack stash.” The corner of Junghwan’s lips quirk up. “Don’t tell. He’ll kill me.”
“You’re my favourite hyung, you know that?” Chanshik says, wolfing down the crackers. He still looks frail, cheeks hollowed out, but at least there’s a bit more red back in his face, and a bit more twinkle in his eye. Junghwan flicks him gently on the head.
“I would be offended if I wasn’t. How are you holding up?”
“Well, apart from the food,” Chanshik says, pulling a face, “I’m fine. When’s our next schedule, hyung?”
“You don’t have any schedules for the next two weeks,” Junghwan says, gently but firmly. He takes Chanshik’s cold hands in his own. “You should just be focussing on getting better.” He pauses, looking at all the tubes attached to Chanshik. “It must’ve hurt a lot.”
“What?”
“The surgery. Before that. Enduring the pain,” Junghwan says slowly. He watches Chanshik, eyebrows furrowed, meeting his eyes. Chanshik flinches. “Don’t think I didn’t notice, Channie, you could barely walk after each of the performances. I was worried to death. Why did you have to do this to yourself?”
“I didn’t want to be a burden,” Chanshik mutters, looking down, and Junghwan feels a swell of something painful in the left side of his chest, and a little too much protectiveness. “I’m barely doing anything for the team, and I didn’t want to make everyone stop promotions when they’d only just started...”
“You’re never a burden,” Junghwan chides, “and I’m sure the others will agree.”
Chanshik’s silent.
“We all care about you, okay, so don’t do something like this again. Got it?” Chanshik nods hesitantly. “Good.” Junghwan offers what he hopes is a comforting smile and stands up. “I gotta get back for the last group shot. I’ll come back with the others later.”
“Are you going already, hyung?” For a split second, Junghwan swears Chanshik’s eyes flicker with something like uncertainty, his voice is tinged with disappointment, before he plasters his smile back on. “Oh, I mean, good luck with filming.”
Junghwan squeezes Chanshik’s hand tightly and ruffles him on the head. “Get better soon, Channie, and you better not be begging to start schedules the moment you’re discharged.”
But of course, Chanshik, being Chanshik, likes to make life hard.
The instant he gets back from his well-deserved week of rest in his hometown, and the rest of B1A4 are back from their hometowns too, Chanshik insists on participating in the very next filming of Hello Baby. He’s still weak and he’s on doctor’s orders not to engage in any physical activity or basically even move for the next two weeks or so, but he insists anyway.
“Just stay...in bed...and rest,” Jinyoung says with his eyes closed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, but Chanshik shakes his head adamantly. Junghwan almost drags Chanshik off to bed, before he remembers that pulling Chanshik by the arm could very possibly reopen the stitch wound, and that’s not what he wants to do at all.
“One week then,” Dongwoo says, getting a red marker and drawing a circle on the calendar hung up in the living room. “You’re going to recover for one week, in bed, no physical activity, and then you can do whatever the hell you like. Deal?”
“Fine,” Chanshik says, giving a small pout. His eyes twinkle. “But if I’m going to be in bed, then you’re gonna have to bring me all my food. And do my washing.”
“This brat,” Sunwoo starts, whacking Chanshik gently on the arm. Jinyoung glares at him, and Sunwoo rolls his eyes. “So-rry, I promise I won’t injure the patient, oh mighty halbae.” Jinyoung kicks Sunwoo viciously on the shin, and Sunwoo makes a scene of hopping on one leg, clutching the other in pain. Junghwan sniggers, and Dongwoo simply rolls his eyes. Typical.
“Bed,” Jinyoung demands, when Chanshik gets up and tries to sneak to the kitchen amidst the commotion, and Junghwan’s all too happy to take Chanshik by the shoulders and steer him towards the bedroom door.
“You’re really hard to deal with, you know that?” Junghwan says, sitting down at the foot of Chanshik’s bed. They don’t have that much space, the two bunk beds and mattress taking up most of their bedroom, the same as it’s always been ever since before debut. Junghwan grins. The first time Junghwan had met Chanshik, sitting there by himself on the sofa of the training room, all chic looks and high cheekbones and sharp jawline, he hadn’t thought that this too-pretty boy would be younger than him, so excitable, or so-“You’ve always been so stubborn.”
“Have not.” Chanshik smiles brightly, uneven crescent eyes fixed on Junghwan’s face. Chanshik’s tired, Junghwan can see, but he still manages to keep a dazzling smile on his face for the members, and especially for Junghwan. It’s almost like he doesn’t want anyone to see his pain, or share his burden. Chanshik’s one of those people that internalises his emotions and pretends everything’s fine on the outside.
If Junghwan’s honest with himself, Chanshik is the most beautiful person Junghwan’s ever seen, and he’s talented and kind too, but it... Junghwan bites his lip. It seems like Chanshik could never really bring himself to accept that, constantly putting himself down and downgrading his achievements.
And again, Junghwan knows what it’s like, being less than perfect. Feeling less than perfect. He doesn’t...want Chanshik to feel that way.
“If you say so,” Junghwan says, not wanting to launch into such a serious topic the day of Chanshik’s discharge. He sighs and runs a hand through Chanshik’s hair, lingering on Chanshik’s face for longer than strictly necessary. “Take your medicine and get some rest.” Chanshik puts his hand on top of Junghwan’s, curling his fingers so that Junghwan’s hand is clasped tightly in his. Chanshik’s touch is electric, his hands warmer than they had been in the hospital infirmary, which Junghwan takes as a good sign. “I’ll bring you dinner when it’s done. I think Jinyoung-hyung’s trying to cook samgyetang.”
The key word is ‘trying’. Jinyoung insists on adding an extra dose of ginseng into the soup to aid Chanshik’s recovery, but Dongwoo argues that it’ll ruin the flavour and make it too astringent. In their quibbling, the stove boils over, and Sunwoo decides on behalf of them to order takeaway instead.
Junghwan has absolutely no qualms about that. He bounds over to the phone and orders five servings of jjajangmyeon from the local Chinese restaurant before Jinyoung can stop him.
By the time the fast food delivery arrives, Chanshik’s already fast asleep, and Junghwan doesn’t have the heart to rouse him.
“You didn’t wake me up for dinner,” Chanshik whines too early the next morning, poking at Junghwan’s face despondently. “Hyung, are you trying to starve me?”
“No one’s trying to starve anyone,” Junghwan grumbles, still in his half asleep state. How someone could be so awake in the morning escapes him. Actually, Junghwan thinks, how someone could be so awake in the morning while they’re recovering from a surgery escapes him-but at least this means Chanshik’s healing on track. Junghwan squints at the clock and quickly gives up, unable to see without his glasses on. “I’m sure it’s still early, why are you awake-”
“It’s already nine and you’re late for filming,” a voice says drily. Junghwan fumbles to put his glasses on and it’s Dongwoo at the door, drying his hair-and that’s saying something, because Dongwoo is almost as bad at waking up in the morning as Junghwan is. “The break made you lazy, didn’t it? Get dressed, duckbutt-and look at our leader.” Dongwoo pulls the blankets off Jinyoung, who just rolls over and groans. “Channie, I’m pretty sure Jinyoung said that you’re not filming today. Uh, I think there’s still leftovers in the fridge, if Junghwannie didn’t eat all of-”
“I’ll heat it up for him,” Junghwan mumbles, rolling out of bed and dragging himself to the kitchen. He feels guilty for letting Chanshik go hungry last night, after all. As a hyung, no matter how much more immature he is, he should be taking care of Chanshik, especially since Chanshik’s still recovering.
“You don’t have to-” Chanshik’s voice comes from behind him. Junghwan turns around, pushing the frames of his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and smiles warmly. Chanshik falters. “Hyung, I can do it myself, you should go-”
“It’s fine,” Junghwan says. “You’re injured. Plus, neither Sunwoo nor Jinyoung-hyung are up yet.”
“I really-”
“Let other people take care of you just this once, so you don’t go stubbornly neglecting yourself again, okay?” This time, when Chanshik starts protesting, Junghwan presses a finger to Chanshik’s lips. Chanshik stutters, eyes widening. “Shush. Good.” Chanshik quietens down obediently, and Junghwan hums to himself as he unwraps the jjajangmyeon and sticks it into the microwave.
“Thanks,” Chanshik says softly. Junghwan almost doesn’t catch it the first time, until Chanshik repeats himsef-and Junghwan’s about to turn around and ruffle Chanshik on the head, when Chanshik’s arms suddenly snake around his waist, and Junghwan swears his heart stops for a split second as Chanshik links his fingers together, palms resting low and warm on his stomach. He rests his head on Junghwan’s shoulder, pulling Junghwan into a backhug. “You’re too nice to me, hyung.”
“I’m-” Junghwan gulps. Chanshik pulls him even tighter, and now his hands are too close to...down there for comfort. The microwave beeps, and Junghwan jumps. “I’m really not. Go sit down. Did you remember to take medicine?”
But even as Junghwan gently pries Chanshik’s fingers away, handing him the plate of heated food, he’s in a bit of a daze, Chanshik’s fingers leaving trails on his skin.
Even as he’s in the van, all dressed and styled, Sunwoo making jibes about Dongwoo’s tacky fashion sense, Junghwan still feels the ghost of Chanshik’s touch lingering, feather light.
And even as he settles to sleep that night, Sunwoo snoring loudly in the dark, the strange fluttery feeling in his stomach burns slowly.
It’s not because he likes Chanshik, Junghwan decides three days later when he catches himself staring at Chanshik’s sleeping face for far too long. Chanshik’s just a younger brother to him. They’ve...known each other for almost three years now, and nothing’s happened. Sure, he’s attractive, and okay, Junghwan might have had more than just fleeting feelings for Chanshik after seeing him step out of the shower with nothing but a towel around his waist, but that doesn’t mean-
“G’morning, hyung,” Chanshik mumbles sleepily, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. Junghwan jumps. “Were you staring at me?”
“N-no,” Junghwan says, his voice cracking. He clears his throat. “No, I was just seeing if you were awake, or-”
“You were totally staring,” Sunwoo cuts in from the top bunk, voice muffled by the pillow. “Just admit it, Junghwan, you either have an obsession with him or injured people, and I’m pretty sure it’s not the latter, because that time I fell down the stairs-”
“You were trying to do your stupid squirrel princess dance,” Junghwan shoots back. “It was entirely your fault.”
“That was because you were the one clapping your hands like a seal on drugs and asking to see it, okay?” Sunwoo bemoans. “But really, you should just admit it. Even your laptop background is a picture of Channie.”
Junghwan flushes, unable to come back with an reason other than “I just like his face”. Chanshik’s grin gets wider, corners of his eyes crinkling, before he winces and clutches his side.
Junghwan instantly bolts up, hitting his head on the bunk above in the process, before rushing over to Chanshik’s side. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Chanshik breathes, “yeah, just-cramps. The doctor said this was normal, don’t worry.”
“Okay.” Junghwan bites his lip. The week had passed incredibly fast, and Chanshik’s all set to start filming again. “We have to go shoot Hello Baby today. Are you up to it? If you’re not, I could tell manager-hyung-”
“I’m fine!” Chanshik pulls his covers off and slowly stands up. “Really, I’ll be okay. You know I can’t wait to see Eunsol and Hyunwoo again. I hope they haven’t forgotten me.”
Junghwan watches Chanshik out of the corner of his eye for the entire filming, making sure that nothing goes awry. He has no doubt that Chanshik as Gongchan, maknae of B1A4, will be able to last the entire filming without slipping up-he is a professional, after all-but it’s more a problem of if Chanshik can endure that pain or not.
It’s only when they’re nearing midnight and Chanshik’s still laughing and joking around that Junghwan can relax a little. Chanshik’s good with the children. He gets along with them reasonably, even Eunsol, who’s more than just a bit petulant and disagreeable-and that itself is something that has Junghwan’s heart swelling ever so slightly in pride.
“Staring,” Sunwoo says to Junghwan in the van on the way back to their dorm. Chanshik’s asleep next to Junghwan, his head resting on Junghwan’s shoulder. Junghwan takes Chanshik’s hand. “You were staring.”
“And what if I was?” Junghwan says simply, no longer denying it, and this time it’s Sunwoo whose words catch in his throat.
The next few days pass in slow confusion.
Junghwan notices it much more, the way that Chanshik favours him over the other members; touches his arm for longer, smiles at him brighter, essentially following him around like a cute puppy. And Junghwan indulges him, letting Chanshik nap on his lap when Jinyoung and Dongwoo are making dinner (samgyetang, this time without the extra ginseng and without the bickering), letting Chanshik use the bathroom first, even if the maknae should be going after all his hyungs. There’s a moment when Junghwan returns from buying the groceries at the corner store and opens the door to see Chanshik, his face lit up in happiness at Junghwan’s return, and Junghwan sort of just...wants to smother Chanshik in hugs and kisses.
He pushes those feelings away.
“Are you...okay?” Jinyoung asks him quietly, when it’s just the two of them in Jinyoung’s producing studio, working on a song for their new mini-album. “You’ve been distracted the whole night.”
“I’m just-” Junghwan shakes his head. He doesn’t want to involve the other members. “It’s nothing, hyung, I’ve just got something on my mind.”
“Is it Chanshik?” Jinyoung’s lips are upturned in a wry smile. “It’s Channie, isn’t it?”
“H-how...?” Junghwan starts, and Jinyoung just sighs and shakes his head. “I’m not that obvious-”
“Chanshik-ah, have this, it’s good for you! Chanshik-ah, be careful, the soup’s hot! Channie, you can use the shower before me!” Jinyoung says, his voice several pitches too high to even sound the right gender as Junghwan’s. “How is that not obvious?”
“I’m just...being nice because he’s injured,” Junghwan mumbles, sounding unconvincing even to himself. “He’s so stubborn. I have to take care of him.”
“Like you’re not stubborn yourself,” Jinyoung says, rolling his eyes. “Lee Junghwan, please, you’re the one who needs taking care of, not the other way around.”
“I’m a responsible adult,” is Junghwan’s half-hearted response. He pauses and frowns. “Okay, maybe not responsible...or adult...but-”
“I always thought I’d be the one to win your affections,” Jinyoung says with mock despair, “but alas, it has been stolen by our maknae.” He gives a grin. “You are a Gongchan baragi after all.”
Gongchan baragi. Only-look-at-Gongchan. The nickname is becoming more and more apt, Junghwan thinks, because it’s true that he only looks at Chanshik. Even before Chanshik had kidney problems, Junghwan realises, his attention had been unproportionately divided towards Chanshik. The injury has just...exacerbated it.
Junghwan finds himself lying in bed, his laptop perched on his stomach, scrolling through pictures and messages from Chanshik’s fansites. This is stupid, he thinks, and it is, because Chanshik’s right there, an arm’s reach away, and he’s looking through pages and pages of fan-taken photos. Get better soon, Channie~ The other members better take care of our precious maknae T_T, a message says. Junghwan smiles. Even the fans were concerned about Chanshik in the same way that he was.
“I will,” Junghwan whispers to the laptop screen, snapping the lid shut and putting it under his bunk.
It’s god knows what time in the morning when Junghwan feels something stir next to him, his blankets being lifted, and a weight settling into his bed.
“Wha...?” he mumbles sleepily, wondering if it’s one of those hidden cameras or wake-idol-groups-up-at-midnight-and-make-them-suffer show things that they’ve got going on, but then he smells the faint remnants of Chanshik’s favourite cologne, and he smiles. Of course. His favourite maknae, making his life hard yet again. “Channie, why are you...?”
“Nightmare. Can’t sleep,” Chanshik whispers, curling into Junghwan. Chanshik’s bony and his elbows jab into Junghwan’s sides too sharply to be comfortable, but Chanshik’s warm and there and that more than makes up for the discomfort.
“Shh,” Junghwan says, turning around so that they’re facing each other and he can tuck Chanshik’s head into the crook of his neck and run his fingers comfortingly through Chanshik’s hair. Chanshik’s feet nudge Junghwan’s legs and Junghwan captures Chanshik’s legs between his, their ankles tangled under the covers. “Go to sleep.” Chanshik’s arms are still wound tightly around his waist.
They stay like that, until Junghwan’s drifting back off to sleep, on that hazy brink between reality and dreams, when-
“Hyung, why are you so nice to me?”
Junghwan blinks, roused by Chanshik’s whisper. He can’t see Chanshik’s face, but he knows Chanshik is close because he can feel Chanshik’s breath hot on his cheek. “Because I like you, Channie,” Junghwan mumbles, sleep softening the edges of his voice. “I...really like you.”
And then, Junghwan’s almost certain that this is a dream, because a warm pair of lips are pressed to his, a quick tongue darting in between the part of his mouth, and it’s the sweetest taste of minty toothpaste and Chanshik.
“Chan-” Junghwan starts startled awake, but he’s cut off when Chanshik’s hand finds the nape of his neck and brings him closer, parting his lips to deepen the kiss, and damn, Junghwan thinks, heartbeat accelerating through the roof, where did their maknae learn to kiss like that?
It’s a mash of drowsy heat and giddiness and Chanshik taking Junghwan’s lower lip between his teeth and tugging gently, but it’s so good, and Junghwan’s so disappointed when Chanshik pulls away, breathing heavily.
“Well,” Chanshik says, breath tickling Junghwan’s ear. “I guess I like you too, hyung.”
“I could hear you guys making out last night,” Sunwoo deadpans when they’re eating breakfast the next morning. Junghwan almost spits out his water. He looks out of the corner of his eyes and sees Chanshik looks down at the table, trying to hide the grin spreading across his face. Dongwoo covers his left ear with one hand and stirs the stew with the other. “Think of what the fans will sing. Sandeul and Gongchan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-”
“I will cut you up and feed you to hungry squirrels,” Junghwan threatens.
“And that would be cannibalism,” Dongwoo says, ladling out five bowls of beef stew. “Someone should go wake Jinyoung up.” Chanshik nods and bounds off to Jinyoung’s room, Junghwan’s gaze surreptitiously fixed on him until he disappears from Junghwan’s line of sight.
“You’re staring again,” Sunwoo states bluntly. “Why don’t you take care of me the way you take care of Channie?” Sunwoo pouts and makes wibbly faces, and Junghwan just glares at him and punches him in the arm. “See, see, you’re hitting me like the bully you are!”
“You didn’t just have a major surgery a month ago,” Junghwan says, but he knows that’s quickly becoming an old excuse. “Also, you bully me much more than I ever bully you.”
“Untrue,” Dongwoo says, chewing on a mushroom. “Both of you are equally as bad as each other and should be sent back to preschool. With Eunsol and Hyunwoo.”
“Actually, even Eunsol and Hyunwoo are more mature than these two.” Jinyoung yawns, finally emerging from the room and sitting down at the table. “Morning, guys.”
“Morning, halbae,” Sunwoo pipes in, flicking a bean at Jinyoung’s head. Jinyoung tentatively plucks it off his hair and sets it on the table with a disgusted look on his face. “Aren’t you glad you sleep in the other room?”
“Huh?”
Sunwoo points a chopstick at Junghwan and at Chanshik, who appears from behind Jinyoung. “Those two.”
“Oh,” Jinyoung says, disinterested. He looks at Chanshik, then at Junghwan, before yawning. “Oh, you finally did something about that crush of yours, did you?”
“Who are you talking about-”
“I would love to hear this,” Dongwoo cuts in, putting his empty bowl down, “but we’re going to be late if we don’t get a move on.”
“Where are we going today anyway?” Sunwoo asks. “If it’s one of those quiz things again with vague-as-fuck answers, I refuse to leave the dorm.”
“Relax,” Jinyoung says, “we’re going to a playcentre. There will be colourful balls. Don’t get lost in the pit.”
The playcentre is everything that Junghwan has ever dreamed of. There’s a mini playground to the side, with slides and rollers and an assortment of rainbow balls, and it reminds him of the time his parents had taken him to the playcentre in Busan and he’d managed to break the toy pony’s head off from the body. Good times, he thinks. No exhausting schedules or intrusive cameras...or Chanshik to worry about.
“Hyung,” Chanshik says, leaning into Junghwan. Junghwan feels his pulse quicken at the touch, remembering the electric sensation of Chanshik’s tender lips on his. It had been the most content he’d felt in...a while. Consequences had been niggling at the back of his mind-what would they do in the morning, the cover of night fading away, with no more excuses?-but he’d drifted off to sleep, leaving second thoughts for future Junghwan to handle.
Under the sunlight and sobriety, opening his eyes to see Chanshik sleeping peacefully in his arms, eyelashes long and black and pink lips parted, Junghwan decided that he wouldn’t trade last night for the world, and he hopes Chanshik doesn’t either.
“Hyung, we need to-”
“B1A4! Standby for filming!” the director shouts, and Junghwan jumps, semi-relieved at the intrusion, curiously dreading what Chanshik has to say. Chanshik purses his lips, moving over to where the others are sitting down in front of the rainbow ball pit, and Junghwan follows suit.
Filming goes well. They’re given thirty minutes for lunch break while the staff set up the next segment. Junghwan’s about to follow Jinyoung and Dongwoo to the café to grab something to eat when Chanshik grabs him by the wrist and pulls him away.
“Hyung,” he says, worrying at his lower lip. “We...”
“Channie,” Junghwan mumbles. “Y-you wanna grab lunch first?” It’s so strange that he’s turning into this stuttering mess in front of Chanshik, but it’s like something happened to his brain overnight, and whenever he sees Chanshik, the signals scramble up and go awry and he can only focus on Chanshik’s uneven eyes and lopsided smile and how his own palms go clammy and his mouth goes dry.
“I packed something for us to eat,” Chanshik says, beaming. “It’s in the van. Should we go?”
Then Junghwan’s being dragged off to the van, and this-he has no protests about this.
“The lunchbox is in my bag,” Chanshik says, opening the van door. He gets in, rummaging in his backpack, and Junghwan boards after him, slamming the door closed. Chanshik takes out a box, handing it to Junghwan. “Here, I made this. It might not be what you’re used to...”
“You’re still recovering, you shouldn’t have been in the kitchen,” Junghwan mumbles, but he takes the lunchbox anyway.
It’s an egg roll with tomato sauce on top of sesame rice, the simplest dish ever. Junghwan seriously doubts that this will taste decent because it’s Chanshik who made it, for crying out loud, but at the same time, it’s Chanshik who made it, so it’ll probably be a five star meal to Junghwan anyway-
There’s a...crispy crunch as he chews his first bite. He instantly takes back his word.
“Channie, I think you left the egg shells in.” Junghwan sighs and puts the lunchbox aside, wiping his mouth. “I’m not that hungry anyway,” he lies. There’s something else Chanshik wants to say, and he’s mustered up enough courage by now to hear it. “Chanshik-ah, did you want to tell me something?”
“I-” Chanshik looks down at his hands. “Yeah. About last night.”
Junghwan inhales sharply. Here it is. “Go on.”
“Did I-” Chanshik gulps. “I’m sorry, I’m burdening you aren’t I, with my injury, and now with my feelings-”
“Wait, wait,” Junghwan says, turning to face Chanshik. “Why do you think that? I was the one who said I liked you...”
“I thought you meant as a hyung,” Chanshik says, breaking eye contact with Junghwan. His voice is soft. “And then you weren’t talking at breakfast this morning, and I thought-”
This time, it’s Junghwan who takes Chanshik by the shoulders and presses their lips together.
And this time, it’s not under the veil of darkness, and Junghwan can clearly see Chanshik’s eyes widen as their lips meet, a muffled exclamation caught halfway in his throat; feel the way Chanshik gulps and reaches up to wind his arms around Junghwan’s neck. This time, Chanshik’s eyes flutter shut, and Junghwan’s the one who moistens Chanshik’s lips with his tongue, sucking and gently nipping Chanshik’s lip with teeth, Chanshik soft and pliant underneath him. Junghwan leans over, one hand bracing himself on the seat, the other stroking Chanshik’s hair, and he’s pushing Chanshik down, onto the-
“Your injury,” Junghwan whispers. “Wait, you should-” He shifts until he’s the one lying down on the backseat and pulls Chanshik on top of him instead. “Better?”
“You’re my favourite hyung, you know that?” Chanshik says, a little breathless. Junghwan grins, and proceeds to pull Chanshik down even more, until they’re kissing again, open mouthed and sloppy and so nice. Chanshik’s hand is on Junghwan’s chest, and he slides his hand down, the gentle pressure sending tingles through Junghwan’s body. Chanshik toys with the edge of Junghwan’s shirt, fingers barely grazing the bare skin just above Junghwan’s belt. Junghwan barely catches himself before he moans. There’s...something building up in his lower torso, and with Chanshik pressed up so tightly on top of him, there’s no doubt that Chanshik’s feeling it too.
“Ch-Chanshik-ah,” Junghwan manages onto Chanshik’s lips. Chanshik’s hands wander lower, dipping a finger behind Junghwan’s belt and into Junghwan’s underwear elastic, and Junghwan quickly grabs Chanshik’s hands and pins them to his sides. “We have to look after children in ten minutes, I can’t go in there with-” Chanshik breaks away, observing Junghwan’s face with quiet amusement, “-with a hard-on.”
A thump on the van door has both Junghwan and Chanshik jumping, fumbling to straighten their hair and wipe their lips and make themselves look like they hadn’t just been making out. Junghwan squeezes his eyes shut and wills his body to calm down. Seconds later, the door slides open, and it’s Sunwoo, looking like he’s just been defeated by a five-year-old.
“Eunsol wouldn’t play with me,” he announces dejectedly. “I think you two are on after lunch break, so get your asses back inside.” He grabs a bottle of water from his bag, downing it all in one go, and turns to leave.
“You taste like egg and tomato sauce,” Chanshik whispers after Sunwoo’s out of earshot, laughing. He entwines their fingers together as they make their way back into the playcentre. “And maybe a bit of egg shell too. Sorry.”
“Learn to cook before you make me food next time,” Junghwan says, stepping back into the building. The makeup artists fuss over their running makeup the instant they’re seen, and they’re back to being Sandeul and Gongchan.
Chanshik starts sneaking into Junghwan’s bunk at night, after all the other members are asleep. Junghwan looks forward to Chanshik’s thin arms wrapping around his waist each night, breath hot in the crook of Junghwan’s neck. Sometimes, Chanshik’s hands wander, and Junghwan revels in the trailing fingers across his bare stomach, up his chest, at the groove of his hip bones, and sometimes Junghwan reciprocates, a hand brushing across Chanshik’s back, careful not to touch Chanshik’s still-healing scar. They never get much further than teasing touches though, and Junghwan’s not sure if it’s just because he’s terrified that Sunwoo will wake up and never let them live it down, or if it’s the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt Chanshik (both physically and emotionally) by pressuring him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.
“My...mother packed some for me when I went back to Suncheon after my surgery,” Chanshik mumbles, when Junghwan lying upside down on the couch reading a comic book. “Here.” He thrusts something into Junghwan’s hand, and Junghwan raises an eyebrow, unscrunching it.
There’s a beat of silence as Junghwan processes what he’s holding. “Chanshik, this is-”
“I know, I know, but-” Chanshik grins sheepishly. “If we can’t wear couple rings or sweaters, then we can at least have couple underwear, right?”
Junghwan stares at the briefs-cartoon print, a duck embroidered onto the crotch-and bursts out laughing. He tumbles off the couch, hitting his head on the floor in the process, then picks himself up and sits on the couch. When Chanshik doesn’t move, he motions for Chanshik to sit down next to him.
“This is-” he laughs some more, “-ridiculous.”
Chanshik blushes. “I thought it was cute...”
Junghwan wipes away a tear. “Oh, Channie, what’s yours?” He points to the duck. “You said couple underwear, right? So you have an animal print too?”
“Mine’s a puppy,” Chanshik says quietly. He grins, eyes curving into those uneven crescents of his, and Junghwan’s so glad that this puppy is his. “I think it suits us.”
“I’ll wear it to bed tonight,” Junghwan jokes, winking at Chanshik.
It’s unfortunately at this point that Sunwoo walks in on them and starts making exaggerated gagging sounds.
“Do me a favour and dye your hair back to black so you stop looking like a magical rainbow unicorn,” Junghwan says, rolling his eyes and tucking his hand holding the underwear behind his back.
“Why don’t you do me a favour and stop PDAing all over the dorms?” Sunwoo retorts. “You should stop before I catch you two doing something really incriminating, because when I do, I’m never letting you live it down.” Sunwoo pokes his tongue out, running out of the living room before Junghwan can throw a slipper at his face.
“Well,” Chanshik says. “I guess we should be glad that he didn’t see what was in your hand, then.”
“All good,” the doctor says, beaming at Chanshik. “You’ve recovered quite nicely. I don’t want you to do any heavy physical activity just yet, but you can slowly ease into doing things like jogging and swimming and lifting light weights again. And you’ve been taking your medicine too, I see.”
“Only because I remind him to,” Junghwan grumbles from the back, and the doctor chuckles.
“As long as he’s taking it. Last checkup is scheduled for two weeks’ time, so I’ll see you again then.”
“Did you hear?” Chanshik says, grinning as they leave the doctor’s surgery and head back to the subway. The other members have schedules in the morning and need the van, so Junghwan had volunteered to take Chanshik to the hospital by subway instead. “I can start lifting weights again!”
“If only you could lift anything heavier than a shopping bag,” Junghwan mourns, ruffling Chanshik’s hair. “But I’m glad you’re getting better. Really.” Chanshik’s grin grows wider. “Just don’t be so stubborn next time about your injuries, okay, you were lucky that-”
“I know, I know,” Chanshik says, stopping Junghwan in his path. “It was irresponsible of me to put it off like that. I’m sorry for worrying you, hyung, but I really didn’t want to drag everyone behind.”
“And that’s an apology you should be giving to the rest of the members,” Junghwan chides gently. “But I’ll leave the lecturing to Jinyoung-hyung. It was hard on you.” The subway pulls into their station, and a devious smile spreads on Junghwan’s lips. “You know, since the others won’t be back for another two hours or so, I feel like we should go somewhere to celebrate your almost-recovery.”
Junghwan’s bright idea is to go to an ice-cream parlour in the busiest part of the street. Pretty soon, fans have gotten word about Sandeul and Gongchan on their ice-cream date and it takes about five minutes of clever backstreet maneuvering, ice-cream dripping onto the pavements, to escape the growing crowd and not have a hundred cameras shoved up into their faces.
“Holy shit, hyung,” Chanshik says, puffed out. Junghwan’s equally puffed out, half of his ice-cream having dripped off the cone onto the pavement, and he laps at the trickles running down the cone and onto his hand, holding the honeycomb cone out for Chanshik to try too. Chanshik cleans his cone up, and takes a big bite out of Junghwan’s. “Ow, my teeth are cold-”
“That’s not how you eat ice-cream, you idiot,” Junghwan says, before taking Chanshik’s fudge one and licking it with a flat tongue, almost pushing the ice-cream off the cone and onto the concrete. “You gotta lick. Like this.”
“Are you teaching me how to lick things right now, hyung?” Chanshik says, voice playful and tinged with amusement, and Junghwan, high from the adrenaline of escaping the crowd, simply looks Chanshik in the eye and licks again, this time dragging the ice-cream across his tongue slowly and licking his lips in relish. “Nice tongue action. Can I have my ice-cream back?”
Junghwan shoves the cone against Chanshik’s lips. “Fine, be like that, I was just trying to impart you some valuable knowledge, you know, do you a service-”
“Do me a service or service me?” Chanshik asks this time, batting his eyelids innocently, and Junghwan lets out an embarrassed snort. He’s this close to sticking his own ice-cream into Chanshik’s mouth to shut him up. “Because I wouldn’t mind either, hyung.”
“You’re really trying to make my life hard, aren’t you?” Junghwan asks. There’s a high pitched squeal from somewhere behind them, and Junghwan turns to see a girl snapping photos of them with her phone. “Crap, we’ve been found. Let’s just go back to the dorm.”
“Your wish is my command, hyung,” Chanshik says, wolfing down the rest of his ice-cream in a matter of seconds. He wipes his hands on the tissue and links arms with Junghwan. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
There’s no one back in the dorm when Junghwan keys them back in, but then again they hadn’t really spent all that much time out getting ice-cream, so it’ll probably be another hour before anyone’s back.
Junghwan sprawls on the rug in the middle of the lounge and yawns.
“Hey hyung,” Chanshik pipes up from the kitchen, “maybe I should try to cook you that tomato egg roll thing again. I promise there won’t be any egg shells this time.”
“Egg-” Junghwan puts his arm over his forehead. “Chanshik-ah, be good and don’t make a mess of the kitchen or Jinyoung-hyung’s going to come back and think that I’m the one who blew up the stove.”
“I won’t blow up the stove,” Chanshik whines, but he goes and lies down on his stomach next to Junghwan anyway, entertaining himself by blowing Junghwan’s fringe and watching it fall back onto his face.
Junghwan cracks open his eyes with a lazy smile. “You really like to make my life hard, don’t you?”
“Not always,” Chanshik protests. “Just-”
Yeah, Junghwan thinks, Chanshik’s definitely trying to make his life hard, because at that moment he crawls on top of Junghwan and he's pressed flush against Junghwan with his knee edging Junghwan’s legs apart.
“Chanshik-”
Chanshik grins, looking perfectly angelic, and Junghwan’s protest dies in his throat as Chanshik pecks him on the nose, trailing a finger across Junghwan’s cheekbone. He kisses everywhere except the mouth, leaving gentle bite marks and licking trails across Junghwan’s neck, sucking on a sensitive place behind his ear and drawing out a choked whimper.
“What are you doing-” Junghwan swallows, licking his dry lips, “-Chanshik, I don’t think you should-your injury-”
“I’ll be fully recovered in a week,” Chanshik murmurs. He smiles against Junghwan's skin, trailing his fingers up and down Junghwan's side, brushing up and down Junghwan’s arms, and Junghwan feels goosebumps rise. Junghwan hums in response, threading his fingers through Chanshik's hair and tugging, gasping, when Chanshik presses his knee hard against Junghwan's crotch. “I think I’m mostly alright. And anyway,” Chanshik adds, grinning, “don’t you want to help me heal, hyung?”
“Yes,” Junghwan mumbles, “but I don’t see how this is healing you-”
“The doctor said I could start slowly easing into physical activity again, didn’t she?” Chanshik massages circles onto Junghwan’s arm, and holy shit, it’s Chanshik who’s making the first move, and it’s finally-it’s finally reaching this point. Junghwan can hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, accompanied by a chorus of angelic voices.
"Shit," Junghwan hisses, bucking his hips forward. "Alright. We can-let’s do this."
Chanshik presses harder, almost giggling. “What do you want, hyung? You’ve been so good to me, and I could at least...repay you...”
Junghwan whines, arching against Chanshik as he pulls back slightly, a smile drifting across his face.
“Say it,” Chanshik murmurs.
“T-touch me, please,” Junghwan says between heavy breaths. Chanshik drags his fingers down Junghwan's chest to the clasp of his jeans.
“Here?” Chanshik asks, voice low. Junghwan whines and nods hastily. Screw the fact that they’re on the rug of the living room and could be interrupted at any moment. None of the members are back, and even if they did come back-well, they’d just have to deal with it. Chanshik undoes the clasp while sliding his thumb along the inside of Junghwan's jeans. Jungwhan struggles weakly against the hold that Chanshik has on his wrists, and Chanshik grins. He tugs down the waistband and-
Chanshik bursts out laughing. “Hyung,” Chanshik says, poking Junghwan right on the crotch. Junghwan lets out a yelp. “Hyung, you’re wearing my present!”
“Yes,” Junghwan mumbles, remembering clearly that morning how he’d changed into those duck underpants from Chanshik. “You better be wearing yours too.”
“Well, you’ll just have to see for yourself, won’t you?” Chanshik teases. He palms Junghwan's half-hard cock through the duck embroidered on the crotch, then squeezes lightly.
Junghwan makes a choking noise, jerking his hips impatiently. “S-sorry,” Junghwan says, closing his eyes. “I’m kind of-”
“Hyung, you’re so eager,” Chanshik says against Junghwan's neck, humming in approval, “I like this,” and Junghwan rolls his hips against Chanshik's hand. “Should I...help you?”
“P-please,” Junghwan says, because it’s been so long since he’s gotten any relief that his body is reacting way too eagerly to Chanshik’s touch, and Junghwan thinks that if Chanshik leaves this any longer, he’s going to cream himself in his duckie underwear.
Chanshik finally obliges and pulls down Junghwan's underpants. He wraps his hand firmly around Junghwan's cock and starts stroking, and Junghwan bucks his hips forward, jerking a hand free and tangling it into Chanshik's hair. He pulls Chanshik up for a rough kiss, sucking on Chanshik's tongue and trailing his lips across the corner of his mouth, his breaths coming out hot and harsh. Chanshik pumps him faster in response, his hand becoming slick with precome as Junghwan gets closer and closer, moaning into Chanshik's mouth.
“You-” Junghwan groans. “Taste like chocolate fudge.”
“You taste like honeycomb,” Chanshik replies, “are you close, hyung?”
“I-” Junghwan feels his cock twitch in Chanshik’s hand. The pressure in his torso is building up and becoming almost unbearable, coils and coils of tension and pleasure threatening to let loose at any moment. “I’m so-”
Chanshik gives one last jerk before Junghwan is gasping, coming all over Chanshik's hand, collapsing into him for a moment.
Junghwan lies there, panting, feeling Chanshik’s breath-still hot-against his cheek, and-
There’s a press of something hard against his stomach. He looks down, and there’s a bulge in Chanshik’s pants, rubbing right on his torso.
“I think,” Junghwan breathes, “I haven’t finished showing you how to lick just yet.” Junghwan props himself up on his elbows, cock still throbbing with the sensation of orgasm. He tucks himself back into his underwear, half-zipping his jeans. “Get-get up.”
Chanshik more than willingly obliges, and Junghwan tugs him gently until they’re against a wall, Junghwan’s back pressed against the cool plaster.
Junghwan slides down the wall until he's on his knees.
“Hyung, are you going to...?” Chanshik threads his fingers through Junghwan's hair and stares down with dark eyes as Junghwan nods, licking his lips, and unzips Chanshik's jeans with his teeth. “Holy shit, hyung-”
“Puppy underwear,” Junghwan says gleefully, drawing patterns on the puppy ears sewn onto Chanshik’s underwear. “So you are wearing them.”
“We are a couple,” Chanshik chokes out, as Junghwan presses open mouth kisses against the front of Chanshik's puppy underwear. Chanshik groans, forcing Junghwan's head back against the wall. He bites his lip, and Junghwan gingerly slides Chanshik’s underwear down his thigh with trembling hands, looking up at Chanshik the entire time.
Junghwan licks his lips. Chanshik tightens his grip on Junghwan's hair, and Junghwan hisses in pain, before he darts his tongue out, flicking at the swollen red head of Chanshik’s cock.
“H-hyung,” Chanshik breathes. “Please-”
Junghwan grips Chanshik gently but firmly by the hips, careful to avoid the surgery site, and takes Chanshik entirely into his mouth.
Chanshik jerks his hips involuntarily, and Junghwan’s not entirely prepared. The tip of Chanshik’s cock hits the back of his throat, and he gags a little in response, before bobbing around Chanshik’s length once more, then teasing at only the tip with small flicks of his tongue.
“Fuck,” Chanshik curses, grip as tight as ever on Junghwan’s hair. “F-fuck.”
Junghwan hums softly, letting Chanshik’s cock out with a soft plop. The corners of his lips curl up. “Chanshik-ah, tell me what you want.”
Chanshik chokes back a moan and pushes Junghwan back into the wall again. "Fuck you," he says, and it’s so good to see Chanshik falling apart under him, so rewarding, and Junghwan thinks that he could do this forever. He wants to please Chanshik, because he...loves Chanshik, and he doesn’t want Chanshik to feel unloved or a burden or in pain any longer. “Fuck you, hyung, I-”
“That's your job, I think,” Junghwan says, putting Chanshik’s cock back into his mouth, and feels Chanshik clench his muscles and his cock twitch.
Chanshik glares down at him, but then Junghwan is pressing the flat of his tongue against the tip and Chanshik gasps out, “suck me off, fuck you.”
"Manners," Junghwan breathes out, secretly thrilled that Chanshik’s gotten so obscene. He scrapes his teeth against Chanshik's cock ever so gently, and Chanshik shudders against the wall, knees buckling from the pleasure.
"Please," Chanshik says, almost begging, threading his hands through Junghwan’s hair and Junghwan feels the iron grip in his hair loosening as Chanshik lets go and braces himself with hands against the wall instead. Chanshik rocks his hips into Junghwan and Junghwan licks at the liquid coming out of the tip of Chanshik’s cock, the drops of precome he can’t catch dripping past Junghwan's lips and down his chin.
“I have to admit I enjoyed the chocolate fudge taste a bit more,” Junghwan teases, lapping up the precome and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Chanshik's breathing hard now, and-he should finish Chanshik off.
"Aren’t you going to-" Chanshik starts, but cuts himself off when Junghwan goes down on him again. Junghwan takes what he can't reach with his mouth into his palm, working Chanshik with his tongue in slow circles.
Chanshik thrusts into Junghwan's mouth a few more times, and Junghwan can feel that Chanshik’s close, his balls contracting, panting heavily, so he trills at the tip of Chanshik’s cock and-
Chanshik comes, panting Junghwan's name.
There’s almost too much come for Junghwan to swallow, but Junghwan manages, pulling back and swallowing as much of Chanshik as he can, licking the rest of the come off his chin. He’s sure that he looks a mess, his hair mussed and lips swollen and pink and gleaming with a white sheen, but he could care less, because he’s just sucked Chanshik off, and Chanshik’s there, braced against the wall and shaking, sweat forming on his forehead and thighs quivering and perfect pink lips parted in a moan.
“Junghwan-hyung,” Chanshik says. Chanshik brings Junghwan up off his knees, and Junghwan presses into Chanshik, presses his lips to Chanshik’s, and it’s a mash of the remnants of their ice-cream and Chanshik, sweet and tangy between them.
Junghwan groans, pressing his body flush against Chanshik’s, and breaks the sloppy kiss to nuzzle Chanshik’s neck.
There’s a click and-“What the hell?” a voice says to their right. Both Chanshik and Junghwan jump and turn to see Jinyoung standing at the doorway. Jinyoung quickly slams the door. “We have filming here this afternoon; the video production crew are going to be here any minute now, what are you two doing-”
“S-sorry,” Junghwan mumbles, pulling Chanshik’s puppy underwear up and tucking his cock back in, zipping his pants. He zips himself up too. “We uh, we were playing doctor?”
“I don’t want to know,” Jinyoung says, clapping his hands over his ears, but there’s a hint of a grin. “Just...go clean yourselves off, and dear god, I hope you didn’t get anything on that rug, because Eunsol and Hyunwoo are going to be playing on that-”
“O-oh,” Chanshik says. He bends over and rolls up the rug, kicking it under the sofa. “Oops.”
Jinyoung sighs and slams his head into the doorframe multiple times.
“I think we broke him,” Junghwan whispers to Chanshik, who can only smile and drag Junghwan off to the bathroom with him, and Junghwan hopes that there’s a second round somewhere.
The second round is even better than the first. There’s water and heat and a shower, and Junghwan wonders why they didn’t get to it earlier. Chanshik curls his hands around Junghwan’s cock, stroking slowly and languidly, before getting on his knees in the small stall and showing Junghwan exactly what he’s learnt from Junghwan’s licking lessons.
Thank god they finish before Sunwoo and Dongwoo and an entire camera crew of fifteen people get to the dorm.
Sunwoo and Dongwoo are too engrossed with trying to get Eunsol and Hyunwoo to kiss them on the cheek to notice how hard both Chanshik and Junghwan are breathing, how flushed Chanshik’s face is, and the fact that a rug is missing from the living room. Good, Junghwan thinks. They don’t ever need to know about anything.
But-
“Duck underwear,” Sunwoo crows, plucking said underwear from the laundry basket. It’s a Sunday morning, and they’re doing laundry, and Junghwan feels dread in his heart. He moves to grab the offensive material out of Sunwoo’s hand, but Sunwoo hangs it out of his reach. “Aww, liddle widdle Sandeullie wears duckie underwear.”
“Channie,” Junghwan says desperately. “Channie, explain to him-”
“You’re on your own, hyung,” Chanshik says, laughing in the corner, and Junghwan curses under his breath. No rewards for Chanshik this week, he thinks viciously. Chanshik lowers his voice to a whisper, so Sunwoo doesn’t hear. “You should hide them better. But I have to say you look great in them.”
Sunwoo runs out of the room with the underwear in his hand, shouting Jinyoung and Dongwoo’s names at the top of his lungs. Chanshik gives him a blinding grin, leaning in to kiss him hot and hard, before tailing after Sunwoo.
Yep, Junghwan thinks, bashing his head on the dryer. Chanshik likes to make life hard, indeed.
a/n: but of course junghwan can’t resist chanshik and ends up sucking him off in bed that night once again. hmm. what is my life.
Pairing: Sandeul/Gongchan
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Chanshik is possibly the most stubborn maknae ever. That’s why he makes Junghwan’s life hard, in more ways that one. Set in canon.
Warnings: Chanshik’s surgery, slight hurt/comfort
Word Count: ~8,900
A/N: This...originated from a document I found in my WIP folder where hotarumyst, potaoto and I had round robin written like 700 words of Gongdeul PWP. I dusted it off added some things and added a plot (if you can call that a plot l m a o) and et voila :3 I haven’t written/posted B1A4 in such a long time and I wrote this in basically two sittings so I’m sorry if this is weird ;___; some of the canon might be wrong. I used creative liberties. Thank you potaoto for giving it a read over and correcting my typos keke :3
makes life hard;;-
// chanshik, stubbornness, ducks, and puppies. //
Chanshik, Junghwan thinks, likes to make life hard.
Two weeks ago, Junghwan had been sure that something was wrong with Chanshik. He hadn’t been dancing all that well during rehearsals, constantly clutching his side in pain-but had just grinned and shook his head with that puppy-dog smile of his when Junghwan had cornered him quietly him after rehearsals, a bottle of water held out. “Don’t worry, hyung, I’m fine. I probably just ate something bad,” Chanshik had said, accepting the water and gulping it down like his life depended on it. Junghwan had just given him one last suspicious look and let him be.
That pain turned out to be kidney failure.
“You idiot,” Jinyoung says after they get out of the doctor’s examination room, running a hand angrily through his hair. “Channie, why didn’t you tell us that you were hurting?” The guilt in Jinyoung’s eyes is almost too much for Junghwan to handle, and he gently gathers Jinyoung in his arms and guides him to the van seat before Jinyoung dents the van doors with his bare fists. “Chanshik, we’re stopping promotions right now, and you’re getting surgery. You can’t dance on stage when one of your kidneys isn’t working-”
“I’ll be fine, hyung,” Chanshik says meekly. “I can take painkillers. I’ll be able to dance. I don’t want to delay B1A4 promotions.”
“Chanshik-ah, please listen to Jinyoung,” Dongwoo says, gently but firmly. Sunwoo nods in agreement, crossing his arms and frowning (and looking more like an angry plush toy than a stern, commanding hyung, Junghwan thinks, but that’s besides the purpose). “I don’t want you to do this.”
But Chanshik, always the stubborn maknae, somehow manages to convince management to continue on, not that management is ever difficult to convince when it involves more work. They want to maximise their profits, after all.
The rest of the members are stuck with feeding Chanshik five different types of painkillers for the rest of Sleep Well, Good Night promotions, or in Junghwan’s case, making sure Chanshik actually takes his medicine.
“Surgery. Now,” Jinyoung commands, the instant their last performance is over. Chanshik has purple circles under his eyes, and he’s paler and thinner than Junghwan has ever seen him before.
Junghwan can only sigh and feel his heart twinge as this stubborn maknae of theirs crumples in pain in the dressing room, finally letting his weakness show.
The surgery goes smoothly.
Chanshik’s smiling the next time Junghwan sees him, propped up in his hospital bed. As usual, he thinks, sliding the door closed behind him-Chanshik doesn’t know how to do anything else but smile awkwardly to hide his pain, even from those closest to him. It’s almost like smiling is his natural defence, and Junghwan-Junghwan understands. It’s something that he’s done before, too, once upon a time when he was struggling with his self-esteem.
“Hyung!” Chanshik says, surprise colouring his voice. “What are you doing here?”
“Visting, you dumbass,” Junghwan says fondly, rolling his eyes. “The others are still filming their sections. I got off early.” His eyes land on Chanshik’s lap, where a food tray sits. The rice porridge in Chanshik’s bowl seems...less than adequate, so Junghwan fishes something out of his jacket pocket and slides it over to Chanshik. “Here. I stole it from Sunwoo’s snack stash.” The corner of Junghwan’s lips quirk up. “Don’t tell. He’ll kill me.”
“You’re my favourite hyung, you know that?” Chanshik says, wolfing down the crackers. He still looks frail, cheeks hollowed out, but at least there’s a bit more red back in his face, and a bit more twinkle in his eye. Junghwan flicks him gently on the head.
“I would be offended if I wasn’t. How are you holding up?”
“Well, apart from the food,” Chanshik says, pulling a face, “I’m fine. When’s our next schedule, hyung?”
“You don’t have any schedules for the next two weeks,” Junghwan says, gently but firmly. He takes Chanshik’s cold hands in his own. “You should just be focussing on getting better.” He pauses, looking at all the tubes attached to Chanshik. “It must’ve hurt a lot.”
“What?”
“The surgery. Before that. Enduring the pain,” Junghwan says slowly. He watches Chanshik, eyebrows furrowed, meeting his eyes. Chanshik flinches. “Don’t think I didn’t notice, Channie, you could barely walk after each of the performances. I was worried to death. Why did you have to do this to yourself?”
“I didn’t want to be a burden,” Chanshik mutters, looking down, and Junghwan feels a swell of something painful in the left side of his chest, and a little too much protectiveness. “I’m barely doing anything for the team, and I didn’t want to make everyone stop promotions when they’d only just started...”
“You’re never a burden,” Junghwan chides, “and I’m sure the others will agree.”
Chanshik’s silent.
“We all care about you, okay, so don’t do something like this again. Got it?” Chanshik nods hesitantly. “Good.” Junghwan offers what he hopes is a comforting smile and stands up. “I gotta get back for the last group shot. I’ll come back with the others later.”
“Are you going already, hyung?” For a split second, Junghwan swears Chanshik’s eyes flicker with something like uncertainty, his voice is tinged with disappointment, before he plasters his smile back on. “Oh, I mean, good luck with filming.”
Junghwan squeezes Chanshik’s hand tightly and ruffles him on the head. “Get better soon, Channie, and you better not be begging to start schedules the moment you’re discharged.”
But of course, Chanshik, being Chanshik, likes to make life hard.
The instant he gets back from his well-deserved week of rest in his hometown, and the rest of B1A4 are back from their hometowns too, Chanshik insists on participating in the very next filming of Hello Baby. He’s still weak and he’s on doctor’s orders not to engage in any physical activity or basically even move for the next two weeks or so, but he insists anyway.
“Just stay...in bed...and rest,” Jinyoung says with his eyes closed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, but Chanshik shakes his head adamantly. Junghwan almost drags Chanshik off to bed, before he remembers that pulling Chanshik by the arm could very possibly reopen the stitch wound, and that’s not what he wants to do at all.
“One week then,” Dongwoo says, getting a red marker and drawing a circle on the calendar hung up in the living room. “You’re going to recover for one week, in bed, no physical activity, and then you can do whatever the hell you like. Deal?”
“Fine,” Chanshik says, giving a small pout. His eyes twinkle. “But if I’m going to be in bed, then you’re gonna have to bring me all my food. And do my washing.”
“This brat,” Sunwoo starts, whacking Chanshik gently on the arm. Jinyoung glares at him, and Sunwoo rolls his eyes. “So-rry, I promise I won’t injure the patient, oh mighty halbae.” Jinyoung kicks Sunwoo viciously on the shin, and Sunwoo makes a scene of hopping on one leg, clutching the other in pain. Junghwan sniggers, and Dongwoo simply rolls his eyes. Typical.
“Bed,” Jinyoung demands, when Chanshik gets up and tries to sneak to the kitchen amidst the commotion, and Junghwan’s all too happy to take Chanshik by the shoulders and steer him towards the bedroom door.
“You’re really hard to deal with, you know that?” Junghwan says, sitting down at the foot of Chanshik’s bed. They don’t have that much space, the two bunk beds and mattress taking up most of their bedroom, the same as it’s always been ever since before debut. Junghwan grins. The first time Junghwan had met Chanshik, sitting there by himself on the sofa of the training room, all chic looks and high cheekbones and sharp jawline, he hadn’t thought that this too-pretty boy would be younger than him, so excitable, or so-“You’ve always been so stubborn.”
“Have not.” Chanshik smiles brightly, uneven crescent eyes fixed on Junghwan’s face. Chanshik’s tired, Junghwan can see, but he still manages to keep a dazzling smile on his face for the members, and especially for Junghwan. It’s almost like he doesn’t want anyone to see his pain, or share his burden. Chanshik’s one of those people that internalises his emotions and pretends everything’s fine on the outside.
If Junghwan’s honest with himself, Chanshik is the most beautiful person Junghwan’s ever seen, and he’s talented and kind too, but it... Junghwan bites his lip. It seems like Chanshik could never really bring himself to accept that, constantly putting himself down and downgrading his achievements.
And again, Junghwan knows what it’s like, being less than perfect. Feeling less than perfect. He doesn’t...want Chanshik to feel that way.
“If you say so,” Junghwan says, not wanting to launch into such a serious topic the day of Chanshik’s discharge. He sighs and runs a hand through Chanshik’s hair, lingering on Chanshik’s face for longer than strictly necessary. “Take your medicine and get some rest.” Chanshik puts his hand on top of Junghwan’s, curling his fingers so that Junghwan’s hand is clasped tightly in his. Chanshik’s touch is electric, his hands warmer than they had been in the hospital infirmary, which Junghwan takes as a good sign. “I’ll bring you dinner when it’s done. I think Jinyoung-hyung’s trying to cook samgyetang.”
The key word is ‘trying’. Jinyoung insists on adding an extra dose of ginseng into the soup to aid Chanshik’s recovery, but Dongwoo argues that it’ll ruin the flavour and make it too astringent. In their quibbling, the stove boils over, and Sunwoo decides on behalf of them to order takeaway instead.
Junghwan has absolutely no qualms about that. He bounds over to the phone and orders five servings of jjajangmyeon from the local Chinese restaurant before Jinyoung can stop him.
By the time the fast food delivery arrives, Chanshik’s already fast asleep, and Junghwan doesn’t have the heart to rouse him.
“You didn’t wake me up for dinner,” Chanshik whines too early the next morning, poking at Junghwan’s face despondently. “Hyung, are you trying to starve me?”
“No one’s trying to starve anyone,” Junghwan grumbles, still in his half asleep state. How someone could be so awake in the morning escapes him. Actually, Junghwan thinks, how someone could be so awake in the morning while they’re recovering from a surgery escapes him-but at least this means Chanshik’s healing on track. Junghwan squints at the clock and quickly gives up, unable to see without his glasses on. “I’m sure it’s still early, why are you awake-”
“It’s already nine and you’re late for filming,” a voice says drily. Junghwan fumbles to put his glasses on and it’s Dongwoo at the door, drying his hair-and that’s saying something, because Dongwoo is almost as bad at waking up in the morning as Junghwan is. “The break made you lazy, didn’t it? Get dressed, duckbutt-and look at our leader.” Dongwoo pulls the blankets off Jinyoung, who just rolls over and groans. “Channie, I’m pretty sure Jinyoung said that you’re not filming today. Uh, I think there’s still leftovers in the fridge, if Junghwannie didn’t eat all of-”
“I’ll heat it up for him,” Junghwan mumbles, rolling out of bed and dragging himself to the kitchen. He feels guilty for letting Chanshik go hungry last night, after all. As a hyung, no matter how much more immature he is, he should be taking care of Chanshik, especially since Chanshik’s still recovering.
“You don’t have to-” Chanshik’s voice comes from behind him. Junghwan turns around, pushing the frames of his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and smiles warmly. Chanshik falters. “Hyung, I can do it myself, you should go-”
“It’s fine,” Junghwan says. “You’re injured. Plus, neither Sunwoo nor Jinyoung-hyung are up yet.”
“I really-”
“Let other people take care of you just this once, so you don’t go stubbornly neglecting yourself again, okay?” This time, when Chanshik starts protesting, Junghwan presses a finger to Chanshik’s lips. Chanshik stutters, eyes widening. “Shush. Good.” Chanshik quietens down obediently, and Junghwan hums to himself as he unwraps the jjajangmyeon and sticks it into the microwave.
“Thanks,” Chanshik says softly. Junghwan almost doesn’t catch it the first time, until Chanshik repeats himsef-and Junghwan’s about to turn around and ruffle Chanshik on the head, when Chanshik’s arms suddenly snake around his waist, and Junghwan swears his heart stops for a split second as Chanshik links his fingers together, palms resting low and warm on his stomach. He rests his head on Junghwan’s shoulder, pulling Junghwan into a backhug. “You’re too nice to me, hyung.”
“I’m-” Junghwan gulps. Chanshik pulls him even tighter, and now his hands are too close to...down there for comfort. The microwave beeps, and Junghwan jumps. “I’m really not. Go sit down. Did you remember to take medicine?”
But even as Junghwan gently pries Chanshik’s fingers away, handing him the plate of heated food, he’s in a bit of a daze, Chanshik’s fingers leaving trails on his skin.
Even as he’s in the van, all dressed and styled, Sunwoo making jibes about Dongwoo’s tacky fashion sense, Junghwan still feels the ghost of Chanshik’s touch lingering, feather light.
And even as he settles to sleep that night, Sunwoo snoring loudly in the dark, the strange fluttery feeling in his stomach burns slowly.
It’s not because he likes Chanshik, Junghwan decides three days later when he catches himself staring at Chanshik’s sleeping face for far too long. Chanshik’s just a younger brother to him. They’ve...known each other for almost three years now, and nothing’s happened. Sure, he’s attractive, and okay, Junghwan might have had more than just fleeting feelings for Chanshik after seeing him step out of the shower with nothing but a towel around his waist, but that doesn’t mean-
“G’morning, hyung,” Chanshik mumbles sleepily, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. Junghwan jumps. “Were you staring at me?”
“N-no,” Junghwan says, his voice cracking. He clears his throat. “No, I was just seeing if you were awake, or-”
“You were totally staring,” Sunwoo cuts in from the top bunk, voice muffled by the pillow. “Just admit it, Junghwan, you either have an obsession with him or injured people, and I’m pretty sure it’s not the latter, because that time I fell down the stairs-”
“You were trying to do your stupid squirrel princess dance,” Junghwan shoots back. “It was entirely your fault.”
“That was because you were the one clapping your hands like a seal on drugs and asking to see it, okay?” Sunwoo bemoans. “But really, you should just admit it. Even your laptop background is a picture of Channie.”
Junghwan flushes, unable to come back with an reason other than “I just like his face”. Chanshik’s grin gets wider, corners of his eyes crinkling, before he winces and clutches his side.
Junghwan instantly bolts up, hitting his head on the bunk above in the process, before rushing over to Chanshik’s side. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Chanshik breathes, “yeah, just-cramps. The doctor said this was normal, don’t worry.”
“Okay.” Junghwan bites his lip. The week had passed incredibly fast, and Chanshik’s all set to start filming again. “We have to go shoot Hello Baby today. Are you up to it? If you’re not, I could tell manager-hyung-”
“I’m fine!” Chanshik pulls his covers off and slowly stands up. “Really, I’ll be okay. You know I can’t wait to see Eunsol and Hyunwoo again. I hope they haven’t forgotten me.”
Junghwan watches Chanshik out of the corner of his eye for the entire filming, making sure that nothing goes awry. He has no doubt that Chanshik as Gongchan, maknae of B1A4, will be able to last the entire filming without slipping up-he is a professional, after all-but it’s more a problem of if Chanshik can endure that pain or not.
It’s only when they’re nearing midnight and Chanshik’s still laughing and joking around that Junghwan can relax a little. Chanshik’s good with the children. He gets along with them reasonably, even Eunsol, who’s more than just a bit petulant and disagreeable-and that itself is something that has Junghwan’s heart swelling ever so slightly in pride.
“Staring,” Sunwoo says to Junghwan in the van on the way back to their dorm. Chanshik’s asleep next to Junghwan, his head resting on Junghwan’s shoulder. Junghwan takes Chanshik’s hand. “You were staring.”
“And what if I was?” Junghwan says simply, no longer denying it, and this time it’s Sunwoo whose words catch in his throat.
The next few days pass in slow confusion.
Junghwan notices it much more, the way that Chanshik favours him over the other members; touches his arm for longer, smiles at him brighter, essentially following him around like a cute puppy. And Junghwan indulges him, letting Chanshik nap on his lap when Jinyoung and Dongwoo are making dinner (samgyetang, this time without the extra ginseng and without the bickering), letting Chanshik use the bathroom first, even if the maknae should be going after all his hyungs. There’s a moment when Junghwan returns from buying the groceries at the corner store and opens the door to see Chanshik, his face lit up in happiness at Junghwan’s return, and Junghwan sort of just...wants to smother Chanshik in hugs and kisses.
He pushes those feelings away.
“Are you...okay?” Jinyoung asks him quietly, when it’s just the two of them in Jinyoung’s producing studio, working on a song for their new mini-album. “You’ve been distracted the whole night.”
“I’m just-” Junghwan shakes his head. He doesn’t want to involve the other members. “It’s nothing, hyung, I’ve just got something on my mind.”
“Is it Chanshik?” Jinyoung’s lips are upturned in a wry smile. “It’s Channie, isn’t it?”
“H-how...?” Junghwan starts, and Jinyoung just sighs and shakes his head. “I’m not that obvious-”
“Chanshik-ah, have this, it’s good for you! Chanshik-ah, be careful, the soup’s hot! Channie, you can use the shower before me!” Jinyoung says, his voice several pitches too high to even sound the right gender as Junghwan’s. “How is that not obvious?”
“I’m just...being nice because he’s injured,” Junghwan mumbles, sounding unconvincing even to himself. “He’s so stubborn. I have to take care of him.”
“Like you’re not stubborn yourself,” Jinyoung says, rolling his eyes. “Lee Junghwan, please, you’re the one who needs taking care of, not the other way around.”
“I’m a responsible adult,” is Junghwan’s half-hearted response. He pauses and frowns. “Okay, maybe not responsible...or adult...but-”
“I always thought I’d be the one to win your affections,” Jinyoung says with mock despair, “but alas, it has been stolen by our maknae.” He gives a grin. “You are a Gongchan baragi after all.”
Gongchan baragi. Only-look-at-Gongchan. The nickname is becoming more and more apt, Junghwan thinks, because it’s true that he only looks at Chanshik. Even before Chanshik had kidney problems, Junghwan realises, his attention had been unproportionately divided towards Chanshik. The injury has just...exacerbated it.
Junghwan finds himself lying in bed, his laptop perched on his stomach, scrolling through pictures and messages from Chanshik’s fansites. This is stupid, he thinks, and it is, because Chanshik’s right there, an arm’s reach away, and he’s looking through pages and pages of fan-taken photos. Get better soon, Channie~ The other members better take care of our precious maknae T_T, a message says. Junghwan smiles. Even the fans were concerned about Chanshik in the same way that he was.
“I will,” Junghwan whispers to the laptop screen, snapping the lid shut and putting it under his bunk.
It’s god knows what time in the morning when Junghwan feels something stir next to him, his blankets being lifted, and a weight settling into his bed.
“Wha...?” he mumbles sleepily, wondering if it’s one of those hidden cameras or wake-idol-groups-up-at-midnight-and-make-them-suffer show things that they’ve got going on, but then he smells the faint remnants of Chanshik’s favourite cologne, and he smiles. Of course. His favourite maknae, making his life hard yet again. “Channie, why are you...?”
“Nightmare. Can’t sleep,” Chanshik whispers, curling into Junghwan. Chanshik’s bony and his elbows jab into Junghwan’s sides too sharply to be comfortable, but Chanshik’s warm and there and that more than makes up for the discomfort.
“Shh,” Junghwan says, turning around so that they’re facing each other and he can tuck Chanshik’s head into the crook of his neck and run his fingers comfortingly through Chanshik’s hair. Chanshik’s feet nudge Junghwan’s legs and Junghwan captures Chanshik’s legs between his, their ankles tangled under the covers. “Go to sleep.” Chanshik’s arms are still wound tightly around his waist.
They stay like that, until Junghwan’s drifting back off to sleep, on that hazy brink between reality and dreams, when-
“Hyung, why are you so nice to me?”
Junghwan blinks, roused by Chanshik’s whisper. He can’t see Chanshik’s face, but he knows Chanshik is close because he can feel Chanshik’s breath hot on his cheek. “Because I like you, Channie,” Junghwan mumbles, sleep softening the edges of his voice. “I...really like you.”
And then, Junghwan’s almost certain that this is a dream, because a warm pair of lips are pressed to his, a quick tongue darting in between the part of his mouth, and it’s the sweetest taste of minty toothpaste and Chanshik.
“Chan-” Junghwan starts startled awake, but he’s cut off when Chanshik’s hand finds the nape of his neck and brings him closer, parting his lips to deepen the kiss, and damn, Junghwan thinks, heartbeat accelerating through the roof, where did their maknae learn to kiss like that?
It’s a mash of drowsy heat and giddiness and Chanshik taking Junghwan’s lower lip between his teeth and tugging gently, but it’s so good, and Junghwan’s so disappointed when Chanshik pulls away, breathing heavily.
“Well,” Chanshik says, breath tickling Junghwan’s ear. “I guess I like you too, hyung.”
“I could hear you guys making out last night,” Sunwoo deadpans when they’re eating breakfast the next morning. Junghwan almost spits out his water. He looks out of the corner of his eyes and sees Chanshik looks down at the table, trying to hide the grin spreading across his face. Dongwoo covers his left ear with one hand and stirs the stew with the other. “Think of what the fans will sing. Sandeul and Gongchan sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-”
“I will cut you up and feed you to hungry squirrels,” Junghwan threatens.
“And that would be cannibalism,” Dongwoo says, ladling out five bowls of beef stew. “Someone should go wake Jinyoung up.” Chanshik nods and bounds off to Jinyoung’s room, Junghwan’s gaze surreptitiously fixed on him until he disappears from Junghwan’s line of sight.
“You’re staring again,” Sunwoo states bluntly. “Why don’t you take care of me the way you take care of Channie?” Sunwoo pouts and makes wibbly faces, and Junghwan just glares at him and punches him in the arm. “See, see, you’re hitting me like the bully you are!”
“You didn’t just have a major surgery a month ago,” Junghwan says, but he knows that’s quickly becoming an old excuse. “Also, you bully me much more than I ever bully you.”
“Untrue,” Dongwoo says, chewing on a mushroom. “Both of you are equally as bad as each other and should be sent back to preschool. With Eunsol and Hyunwoo.”
“Actually, even Eunsol and Hyunwoo are more mature than these two.” Jinyoung yawns, finally emerging from the room and sitting down at the table. “Morning, guys.”
“Morning, halbae,” Sunwoo pipes in, flicking a bean at Jinyoung’s head. Jinyoung tentatively plucks it off his hair and sets it on the table with a disgusted look on his face. “Aren’t you glad you sleep in the other room?”
“Huh?”
Sunwoo points a chopstick at Junghwan and at Chanshik, who appears from behind Jinyoung. “Those two.”
“Oh,” Jinyoung says, disinterested. He looks at Chanshik, then at Junghwan, before yawning. “Oh, you finally did something about that crush of yours, did you?”
“Who are you talking about-”
“I would love to hear this,” Dongwoo cuts in, putting his empty bowl down, “but we’re going to be late if we don’t get a move on.”
“Where are we going today anyway?” Sunwoo asks. “If it’s one of those quiz things again with vague-as-fuck answers, I refuse to leave the dorm.”
“Relax,” Jinyoung says, “we’re going to a playcentre. There will be colourful balls. Don’t get lost in the pit.”
The playcentre is everything that Junghwan has ever dreamed of. There’s a mini playground to the side, with slides and rollers and an assortment of rainbow balls, and it reminds him of the time his parents had taken him to the playcentre in Busan and he’d managed to break the toy pony’s head off from the body. Good times, he thinks. No exhausting schedules or intrusive cameras...or Chanshik to worry about.
“Hyung,” Chanshik says, leaning into Junghwan. Junghwan feels his pulse quicken at the touch, remembering the electric sensation of Chanshik’s tender lips on his. It had been the most content he’d felt in...a while. Consequences had been niggling at the back of his mind-what would they do in the morning, the cover of night fading away, with no more excuses?-but he’d drifted off to sleep, leaving second thoughts for future Junghwan to handle.
Under the sunlight and sobriety, opening his eyes to see Chanshik sleeping peacefully in his arms, eyelashes long and black and pink lips parted, Junghwan decided that he wouldn’t trade last night for the world, and he hopes Chanshik doesn’t either.
“Hyung, we need to-”
“B1A4! Standby for filming!” the director shouts, and Junghwan jumps, semi-relieved at the intrusion, curiously dreading what Chanshik has to say. Chanshik purses his lips, moving over to where the others are sitting down in front of the rainbow ball pit, and Junghwan follows suit.
Filming goes well. They’re given thirty minutes for lunch break while the staff set up the next segment. Junghwan’s about to follow Jinyoung and Dongwoo to the café to grab something to eat when Chanshik grabs him by the wrist and pulls him away.
“Hyung,” he says, worrying at his lower lip. “We...”
“Channie,” Junghwan mumbles. “Y-you wanna grab lunch first?” It’s so strange that he’s turning into this stuttering mess in front of Chanshik, but it’s like something happened to his brain overnight, and whenever he sees Chanshik, the signals scramble up and go awry and he can only focus on Chanshik’s uneven eyes and lopsided smile and how his own palms go clammy and his mouth goes dry.
“I packed something for us to eat,” Chanshik says, beaming. “It’s in the van. Should we go?”
Then Junghwan’s being dragged off to the van, and this-he has no protests about this.
“The lunchbox is in my bag,” Chanshik says, opening the van door. He gets in, rummaging in his backpack, and Junghwan boards after him, slamming the door closed. Chanshik takes out a box, handing it to Junghwan. “Here, I made this. It might not be what you’re used to...”
“You’re still recovering, you shouldn’t have been in the kitchen,” Junghwan mumbles, but he takes the lunchbox anyway.
It’s an egg roll with tomato sauce on top of sesame rice, the simplest dish ever. Junghwan seriously doubts that this will taste decent because it’s Chanshik who made it, for crying out loud, but at the same time, it’s Chanshik who made it, so it’ll probably be a five star meal to Junghwan anyway-
There’s a...crispy crunch as he chews his first bite. He instantly takes back his word.
“Channie, I think you left the egg shells in.” Junghwan sighs and puts the lunchbox aside, wiping his mouth. “I’m not that hungry anyway,” he lies. There’s something else Chanshik wants to say, and he’s mustered up enough courage by now to hear it. “Chanshik-ah, did you want to tell me something?”
“I-” Chanshik looks down at his hands. “Yeah. About last night.”
Junghwan inhales sharply. Here it is. “Go on.”
“Did I-” Chanshik gulps. “I’m sorry, I’m burdening you aren’t I, with my injury, and now with my feelings-”
“Wait, wait,” Junghwan says, turning to face Chanshik. “Why do you think that? I was the one who said I liked you...”
“I thought you meant as a hyung,” Chanshik says, breaking eye contact with Junghwan. His voice is soft. “And then you weren’t talking at breakfast this morning, and I thought-”
This time, it’s Junghwan who takes Chanshik by the shoulders and presses their lips together.
And this time, it’s not under the veil of darkness, and Junghwan can clearly see Chanshik’s eyes widen as their lips meet, a muffled exclamation caught halfway in his throat; feel the way Chanshik gulps and reaches up to wind his arms around Junghwan’s neck. This time, Chanshik’s eyes flutter shut, and Junghwan’s the one who moistens Chanshik’s lips with his tongue, sucking and gently nipping Chanshik’s lip with teeth, Chanshik soft and pliant underneath him. Junghwan leans over, one hand bracing himself on the seat, the other stroking Chanshik’s hair, and he’s pushing Chanshik down, onto the-
“Your injury,” Junghwan whispers. “Wait, you should-” He shifts until he’s the one lying down on the backseat and pulls Chanshik on top of him instead. “Better?”
“You’re my favourite hyung, you know that?” Chanshik says, a little breathless. Junghwan grins, and proceeds to pull Chanshik down even more, until they’re kissing again, open mouthed and sloppy and so nice. Chanshik’s hand is on Junghwan’s chest, and he slides his hand down, the gentle pressure sending tingles through Junghwan’s body. Chanshik toys with the edge of Junghwan’s shirt, fingers barely grazing the bare skin just above Junghwan’s belt. Junghwan barely catches himself before he moans. There’s...something building up in his lower torso, and with Chanshik pressed up so tightly on top of him, there’s no doubt that Chanshik’s feeling it too.
“Ch-Chanshik-ah,” Junghwan manages onto Chanshik’s lips. Chanshik’s hands wander lower, dipping a finger behind Junghwan’s belt and into Junghwan’s underwear elastic, and Junghwan quickly grabs Chanshik’s hands and pins them to his sides. “We have to look after children in ten minutes, I can’t go in there with-” Chanshik breaks away, observing Junghwan’s face with quiet amusement, “-with a hard-on.”
A thump on the van door has both Junghwan and Chanshik jumping, fumbling to straighten their hair and wipe their lips and make themselves look like they hadn’t just been making out. Junghwan squeezes his eyes shut and wills his body to calm down. Seconds later, the door slides open, and it’s Sunwoo, looking like he’s just been defeated by a five-year-old.
“Eunsol wouldn’t play with me,” he announces dejectedly. “I think you two are on after lunch break, so get your asses back inside.” He grabs a bottle of water from his bag, downing it all in one go, and turns to leave.
“You taste like egg and tomato sauce,” Chanshik whispers after Sunwoo’s out of earshot, laughing. He entwines their fingers together as they make their way back into the playcentre. “And maybe a bit of egg shell too. Sorry.”
“Learn to cook before you make me food next time,” Junghwan says, stepping back into the building. The makeup artists fuss over their running makeup the instant they’re seen, and they’re back to being Sandeul and Gongchan.
Chanshik starts sneaking into Junghwan’s bunk at night, after all the other members are asleep. Junghwan looks forward to Chanshik’s thin arms wrapping around his waist each night, breath hot in the crook of Junghwan’s neck. Sometimes, Chanshik’s hands wander, and Junghwan revels in the trailing fingers across his bare stomach, up his chest, at the groove of his hip bones, and sometimes Junghwan reciprocates, a hand brushing across Chanshik’s back, careful not to touch Chanshik’s still-healing scar. They never get much further than teasing touches though, and Junghwan’s not sure if it’s just because he’s terrified that Sunwoo will wake up and never let them live it down, or if it’s the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt Chanshik (both physically and emotionally) by pressuring him into doing something he doesn’t want to do.
“My...mother packed some for me when I went back to Suncheon after my surgery,” Chanshik mumbles, when Junghwan lying upside down on the couch reading a comic book. “Here.” He thrusts something into Junghwan’s hand, and Junghwan raises an eyebrow, unscrunching it.
There’s a beat of silence as Junghwan processes what he’s holding. “Chanshik, this is-”
“I know, I know, but-” Chanshik grins sheepishly. “If we can’t wear couple rings or sweaters, then we can at least have couple underwear, right?”
Junghwan stares at the briefs-cartoon print, a duck embroidered onto the crotch-and bursts out laughing. He tumbles off the couch, hitting his head on the floor in the process, then picks himself up and sits on the couch. When Chanshik doesn’t move, he motions for Chanshik to sit down next to him.
“This is-” he laughs some more, “-ridiculous.”
Chanshik blushes. “I thought it was cute...”
Junghwan wipes away a tear. “Oh, Channie, what’s yours?” He points to the duck. “You said couple underwear, right? So you have an animal print too?”
“Mine’s a puppy,” Chanshik says quietly. He grins, eyes curving into those uneven crescents of his, and Junghwan’s so glad that this puppy is his. “I think it suits us.”
“I’ll wear it to bed tonight,” Junghwan jokes, winking at Chanshik.
It’s unfortunately at this point that Sunwoo walks in on them and starts making exaggerated gagging sounds.
“Do me a favour and dye your hair back to black so you stop looking like a magical rainbow unicorn,” Junghwan says, rolling his eyes and tucking his hand holding the underwear behind his back.
“Why don’t you do me a favour and stop PDAing all over the dorms?” Sunwoo retorts. “You should stop before I catch you two doing something really incriminating, because when I do, I’m never letting you live it down.” Sunwoo pokes his tongue out, running out of the living room before Junghwan can throw a slipper at his face.
“Well,” Chanshik says. “I guess we should be glad that he didn’t see what was in your hand, then.”
“All good,” the doctor says, beaming at Chanshik. “You’ve recovered quite nicely. I don’t want you to do any heavy physical activity just yet, but you can slowly ease into doing things like jogging and swimming and lifting light weights again. And you’ve been taking your medicine too, I see.”
“Only because I remind him to,” Junghwan grumbles from the back, and the doctor chuckles.
“As long as he’s taking it. Last checkup is scheduled for two weeks’ time, so I’ll see you again then.”
“Did you hear?” Chanshik says, grinning as they leave the doctor’s surgery and head back to the subway. The other members have schedules in the morning and need the van, so Junghwan had volunteered to take Chanshik to the hospital by subway instead. “I can start lifting weights again!”
“If only you could lift anything heavier than a shopping bag,” Junghwan mourns, ruffling Chanshik’s hair. “But I’m glad you’re getting better. Really.” Chanshik’s grin grows wider. “Just don’t be so stubborn next time about your injuries, okay, you were lucky that-”
“I know, I know,” Chanshik says, stopping Junghwan in his path. “It was irresponsible of me to put it off like that. I’m sorry for worrying you, hyung, but I really didn’t want to drag everyone behind.”
“And that’s an apology you should be giving to the rest of the members,” Junghwan chides gently. “But I’ll leave the lecturing to Jinyoung-hyung. It was hard on you.” The subway pulls into their station, and a devious smile spreads on Junghwan’s lips. “You know, since the others won’t be back for another two hours or so, I feel like we should go somewhere to celebrate your almost-recovery.”
Junghwan’s bright idea is to go to an ice-cream parlour in the busiest part of the street. Pretty soon, fans have gotten word about Sandeul and Gongchan on their ice-cream date and it takes about five minutes of clever backstreet maneuvering, ice-cream dripping onto the pavements, to escape the growing crowd and not have a hundred cameras shoved up into their faces.
“Holy shit, hyung,” Chanshik says, puffed out. Junghwan’s equally puffed out, half of his ice-cream having dripped off the cone onto the pavement, and he laps at the trickles running down the cone and onto his hand, holding the honeycomb cone out for Chanshik to try too. Chanshik cleans his cone up, and takes a big bite out of Junghwan’s. “Ow, my teeth are cold-”
“That’s not how you eat ice-cream, you idiot,” Junghwan says, before taking Chanshik’s fudge one and licking it with a flat tongue, almost pushing the ice-cream off the cone and onto the concrete. “You gotta lick. Like this.”
“Are you teaching me how to lick things right now, hyung?” Chanshik says, voice playful and tinged with amusement, and Junghwan, high from the adrenaline of escaping the crowd, simply looks Chanshik in the eye and licks again, this time dragging the ice-cream across his tongue slowly and licking his lips in relish. “Nice tongue action. Can I have my ice-cream back?”
Junghwan shoves the cone against Chanshik’s lips. “Fine, be like that, I was just trying to impart you some valuable knowledge, you know, do you a service-”
“Do me a service or service me?” Chanshik asks this time, batting his eyelids innocently, and Junghwan lets out an embarrassed snort. He’s this close to sticking his own ice-cream into Chanshik’s mouth to shut him up. “Because I wouldn’t mind either, hyung.”
“You’re really trying to make my life hard, aren’t you?” Junghwan asks. There’s a high pitched squeal from somewhere behind them, and Junghwan turns to see a girl snapping photos of them with her phone. “Crap, we’ve been found. Let’s just go back to the dorm.”
“Your wish is my command, hyung,” Chanshik says, wolfing down the rest of his ice-cream in a matter of seconds. He wipes his hands on the tissue and links arms with Junghwan. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”
There’s no one back in the dorm when Junghwan keys them back in, but then again they hadn’t really spent all that much time out getting ice-cream, so it’ll probably be another hour before anyone’s back.
Junghwan sprawls on the rug in the middle of the lounge and yawns.
“Hey hyung,” Chanshik pipes up from the kitchen, “maybe I should try to cook you that tomato egg roll thing again. I promise there won’t be any egg shells this time.”
“Egg-” Junghwan puts his arm over his forehead. “Chanshik-ah, be good and don’t make a mess of the kitchen or Jinyoung-hyung’s going to come back and think that I’m the one who blew up the stove.”
“I won’t blow up the stove,” Chanshik whines, but he goes and lies down on his stomach next to Junghwan anyway, entertaining himself by blowing Junghwan’s fringe and watching it fall back onto his face.
Junghwan cracks open his eyes with a lazy smile. “You really like to make my life hard, don’t you?”
“Not always,” Chanshik protests. “Just-”
Yeah, Junghwan thinks, Chanshik’s definitely trying to make his life hard, because at that moment he crawls on top of Junghwan and he's pressed flush against Junghwan with his knee edging Junghwan’s legs apart.
“Chanshik-”
Chanshik grins, looking perfectly angelic, and Junghwan’s protest dies in his throat as Chanshik pecks him on the nose, trailing a finger across Junghwan’s cheekbone. He kisses everywhere except the mouth, leaving gentle bite marks and licking trails across Junghwan’s neck, sucking on a sensitive place behind his ear and drawing out a choked whimper.
“What are you doing-” Junghwan swallows, licking his dry lips, “-Chanshik, I don’t think you should-your injury-”
“I’ll be fully recovered in a week,” Chanshik murmurs. He smiles against Junghwan's skin, trailing his fingers up and down Junghwan's side, brushing up and down Junghwan’s arms, and Junghwan feels goosebumps rise. Junghwan hums in response, threading his fingers through Chanshik's hair and tugging, gasping, when Chanshik presses his knee hard against Junghwan's crotch. “I think I’m mostly alright. And anyway,” Chanshik adds, grinning, “don’t you want to help me heal, hyung?”
“Yes,” Junghwan mumbles, “but I don’t see how this is healing you-”
“The doctor said I could start slowly easing into physical activity again, didn’t she?” Chanshik massages circles onto Junghwan’s arm, and holy shit, it’s Chanshik who’s making the first move, and it’s finally-it’s finally reaching this point. Junghwan can hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears, accompanied by a chorus of angelic voices.
"Shit," Junghwan hisses, bucking his hips forward. "Alright. We can-let’s do this."
Chanshik presses harder, almost giggling. “What do you want, hyung? You’ve been so good to me, and I could at least...repay you...”
Junghwan whines, arching against Chanshik as he pulls back slightly, a smile drifting across his face.
“Say it,” Chanshik murmurs.
“T-touch me, please,” Junghwan says between heavy breaths. Chanshik drags his fingers down Junghwan's chest to the clasp of his jeans.
“Here?” Chanshik asks, voice low. Junghwan whines and nods hastily. Screw the fact that they’re on the rug of the living room and could be interrupted at any moment. None of the members are back, and even if they did come back-well, they’d just have to deal with it. Chanshik undoes the clasp while sliding his thumb along the inside of Junghwan's jeans. Jungwhan struggles weakly against the hold that Chanshik has on his wrists, and Chanshik grins. He tugs down the waistband and-
Chanshik bursts out laughing. “Hyung,” Chanshik says, poking Junghwan right on the crotch. Junghwan lets out a yelp. “Hyung, you’re wearing my present!”
“Yes,” Junghwan mumbles, remembering clearly that morning how he’d changed into those duck underpants from Chanshik. “You better be wearing yours too.”
“Well, you’ll just have to see for yourself, won’t you?” Chanshik teases. He palms Junghwan's half-hard cock through the duck embroidered on the crotch, then squeezes lightly.
Junghwan makes a choking noise, jerking his hips impatiently. “S-sorry,” Junghwan says, closing his eyes. “I’m kind of-”
“Hyung, you’re so eager,” Chanshik says against Junghwan's neck, humming in approval, “I like this,” and Junghwan rolls his hips against Chanshik's hand. “Should I...help you?”
“P-please,” Junghwan says, because it’s been so long since he’s gotten any relief that his body is reacting way too eagerly to Chanshik’s touch, and Junghwan thinks that if Chanshik leaves this any longer, he’s going to cream himself in his duckie underwear.
Chanshik finally obliges and pulls down Junghwan's underpants. He wraps his hand firmly around Junghwan's cock and starts stroking, and Junghwan bucks his hips forward, jerking a hand free and tangling it into Chanshik's hair. He pulls Chanshik up for a rough kiss, sucking on Chanshik's tongue and trailing his lips across the corner of his mouth, his breaths coming out hot and harsh. Chanshik pumps him faster in response, his hand becoming slick with precome as Junghwan gets closer and closer, moaning into Chanshik's mouth.
“You-” Junghwan groans. “Taste like chocolate fudge.”
“You taste like honeycomb,” Chanshik replies, “are you close, hyung?”
“I-” Junghwan feels his cock twitch in Chanshik’s hand. The pressure in his torso is building up and becoming almost unbearable, coils and coils of tension and pleasure threatening to let loose at any moment. “I’m so-”
Chanshik gives one last jerk before Junghwan is gasping, coming all over Chanshik's hand, collapsing into him for a moment.
Junghwan lies there, panting, feeling Chanshik’s breath-still hot-against his cheek, and-
There’s a press of something hard against his stomach. He looks down, and there’s a bulge in Chanshik’s pants, rubbing right on his torso.
“I think,” Junghwan breathes, “I haven’t finished showing you how to lick just yet.” Junghwan props himself up on his elbows, cock still throbbing with the sensation of orgasm. He tucks himself back into his underwear, half-zipping his jeans. “Get-get up.”
Chanshik more than willingly obliges, and Junghwan tugs him gently until they’re against a wall, Junghwan’s back pressed against the cool plaster.
Junghwan slides down the wall until he's on his knees.
“Hyung, are you going to...?” Chanshik threads his fingers through Junghwan's hair and stares down with dark eyes as Junghwan nods, licking his lips, and unzips Chanshik's jeans with his teeth. “Holy shit, hyung-”
“Puppy underwear,” Junghwan says gleefully, drawing patterns on the puppy ears sewn onto Chanshik’s underwear. “So you are wearing them.”
“We are a couple,” Chanshik chokes out, as Junghwan presses open mouth kisses against the front of Chanshik's puppy underwear. Chanshik groans, forcing Junghwan's head back against the wall. He bites his lip, and Junghwan gingerly slides Chanshik’s underwear down his thigh with trembling hands, looking up at Chanshik the entire time.
Junghwan licks his lips. Chanshik tightens his grip on Junghwan's hair, and Junghwan hisses in pain, before he darts his tongue out, flicking at the swollen red head of Chanshik’s cock.
“H-hyung,” Chanshik breathes. “Please-”
Junghwan grips Chanshik gently but firmly by the hips, careful to avoid the surgery site, and takes Chanshik entirely into his mouth.
Chanshik jerks his hips involuntarily, and Junghwan’s not entirely prepared. The tip of Chanshik’s cock hits the back of his throat, and he gags a little in response, before bobbing around Chanshik’s length once more, then teasing at only the tip with small flicks of his tongue.
“Fuck,” Chanshik curses, grip as tight as ever on Junghwan’s hair. “F-fuck.”
Junghwan hums softly, letting Chanshik’s cock out with a soft plop. The corners of his lips curl up. “Chanshik-ah, tell me what you want.”
Chanshik chokes back a moan and pushes Junghwan back into the wall again. "Fuck you," he says, and it’s so good to see Chanshik falling apart under him, so rewarding, and Junghwan thinks that he could do this forever. He wants to please Chanshik, because he...loves Chanshik, and he doesn’t want Chanshik to feel unloved or a burden or in pain any longer. “Fuck you, hyung, I-”
“That's your job, I think,” Junghwan says, putting Chanshik’s cock back into his mouth, and feels Chanshik clench his muscles and his cock twitch.
Chanshik glares down at him, but then Junghwan is pressing the flat of his tongue against the tip and Chanshik gasps out, “suck me off, fuck you.”
"Manners," Junghwan breathes out, secretly thrilled that Chanshik’s gotten so obscene. He scrapes his teeth against Chanshik's cock ever so gently, and Chanshik shudders against the wall, knees buckling from the pleasure.
"Please," Chanshik says, almost begging, threading his hands through Junghwan’s hair and Junghwan feels the iron grip in his hair loosening as Chanshik lets go and braces himself with hands against the wall instead. Chanshik rocks his hips into Junghwan and Junghwan licks at the liquid coming out of the tip of Chanshik’s cock, the drops of precome he can’t catch dripping past Junghwan's lips and down his chin.
“I have to admit I enjoyed the chocolate fudge taste a bit more,” Junghwan teases, lapping up the precome and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Chanshik's breathing hard now, and-he should finish Chanshik off.
"Aren’t you going to-" Chanshik starts, but cuts himself off when Junghwan goes down on him again. Junghwan takes what he can't reach with his mouth into his palm, working Chanshik with his tongue in slow circles.
Chanshik thrusts into Junghwan's mouth a few more times, and Junghwan can feel that Chanshik’s close, his balls contracting, panting heavily, so he trills at the tip of Chanshik’s cock and-
Chanshik comes, panting Junghwan's name.
There’s almost too much come for Junghwan to swallow, but Junghwan manages, pulling back and swallowing as much of Chanshik as he can, licking the rest of the come off his chin. He’s sure that he looks a mess, his hair mussed and lips swollen and pink and gleaming with a white sheen, but he could care less, because he’s just sucked Chanshik off, and Chanshik’s there, braced against the wall and shaking, sweat forming on his forehead and thighs quivering and perfect pink lips parted in a moan.
“Junghwan-hyung,” Chanshik says. Chanshik brings Junghwan up off his knees, and Junghwan presses into Chanshik, presses his lips to Chanshik’s, and it’s a mash of the remnants of their ice-cream and Chanshik, sweet and tangy between them.
Junghwan groans, pressing his body flush against Chanshik’s, and breaks the sloppy kiss to nuzzle Chanshik’s neck.
There’s a click and-“What the hell?” a voice says to their right. Both Chanshik and Junghwan jump and turn to see Jinyoung standing at the doorway. Jinyoung quickly slams the door. “We have filming here this afternoon; the video production crew are going to be here any minute now, what are you two doing-”
“S-sorry,” Junghwan mumbles, pulling Chanshik’s puppy underwear up and tucking his cock back in, zipping his pants. He zips himself up too. “We uh, we were playing doctor?”
“I don’t want to know,” Jinyoung says, clapping his hands over his ears, but there’s a hint of a grin. “Just...go clean yourselves off, and dear god, I hope you didn’t get anything on that rug, because Eunsol and Hyunwoo are going to be playing on that-”
“O-oh,” Chanshik says. He bends over and rolls up the rug, kicking it under the sofa. “Oops.”
Jinyoung sighs and slams his head into the doorframe multiple times.
“I think we broke him,” Junghwan whispers to Chanshik, who can only smile and drag Junghwan off to the bathroom with him, and Junghwan hopes that there’s a second round somewhere.
The second round is even better than the first. There’s water and heat and a shower, and Junghwan wonders why they didn’t get to it earlier. Chanshik curls his hands around Junghwan’s cock, stroking slowly and languidly, before getting on his knees in the small stall and showing Junghwan exactly what he’s learnt from Junghwan’s licking lessons.
Thank god they finish before Sunwoo and Dongwoo and an entire camera crew of fifteen people get to the dorm.
Sunwoo and Dongwoo are too engrossed with trying to get Eunsol and Hyunwoo to kiss them on the cheek to notice how hard both Chanshik and Junghwan are breathing, how flushed Chanshik’s face is, and the fact that a rug is missing from the living room. Good, Junghwan thinks. They don’t ever need to know about anything.
But-
“Duck underwear,” Sunwoo crows, plucking said underwear from the laundry basket. It’s a Sunday morning, and they’re doing laundry, and Junghwan feels dread in his heart. He moves to grab the offensive material out of Sunwoo’s hand, but Sunwoo hangs it out of his reach. “Aww, liddle widdle Sandeullie wears duckie underwear.”
“Channie,” Junghwan says desperately. “Channie, explain to him-”
“You’re on your own, hyung,” Chanshik says, laughing in the corner, and Junghwan curses under his breath. No rewards for Chanshik this week, he thinks viciously. Chanshik lowers his voice to a whisper, so Sunwoo doesn’t hear. “You should hide them better. But I have to say you look great in them.”
Sunwoo runs out of the room with the underwear in his hand, shouting Jinyoung and Dongwoo’s names at the top of his lungs. Chanshik gives him a blinding grin, leaning in to kiss him hot and hard, before tailing after Sunwoo.
Yep, Junghwan thinks, bashing his head on the dryer. Chanshik likes to make life hard, indeed.
a/n: but of course junghwan can’t resist chanshik and ends up sucking him off in bed that night once again. hmm. what is my life.