Private Party for 100
In January, I wrote The Cure for Lesbian Bed Death, in which Sungmin plays sex toy counselor to an erotically stymied Hyukjae and Donghae. In that fic, Sungmin mentions previously having had "counseling sessions" with other members of the group-among them Kibum, Siwon and Kangteuk-and I've decided that these are stories that need to be told. Here is the first. The doctor, ladies and gentlemen, is in.
Private Party for 100
pairing: Sungmin/Kibum
Every night, Kibum brings home a different girl and fucks her brains out. Sungmin knows this because Han Geng and Heechul talk about it.
A lot.
Han Geng, who is an early riser, tends to see the girls stumble out of Kibum's room in the morning. They all, he says, emerge in more or less the same way: dazed, legs slightly stiff and steps dainty, and, aside from the occasional wince of discomfort, grinning like idiots. In other respects, though, they are quite a varied bunch, and Han Geng keeps the rest of the group well-informed as to their differences. "Huge tits on the one this morning," he'll say before dance practice, hands poised in front of his chest as if he were holding two large melons, or "Legs for miles," or "Really nice; she helped me clean the dishes," because sometimes he invites them to eat breakfast with him before they leave, Kibum still gently snoring in the other room.
Night owl Heechul, on the other hand, mostly just complains about how loud the girls are.
"They're so fucking loud," he'll snarl, rolling his eyes. "I can't even hear myself think over all that moaning and growling and screaming. And it's got to be fake-even girls can't come that many times in one night."
The group gets used to hearing about it. It becomes a part of their everyday routine. And then one day, it stops.
"So, how was she this morning?" Yesung asks Han Geng, and the Chinese man shrugs.
"She wasn't. I don't think he brought anyone home with him."
"Oh, he did," Heechul says, in better humor than Sungmin thinks he's ever seen him. "But she left. No moaning. No screaming. Just blessed silence!"
When the same thing happens the next day, and then again the next, Sungmin knows it's only a matter of time before Kibum comes to him to talk about whatever the problem is.
***
"Hyung," Kibum says, "do you have a minute?"
"Sure," Sungmin says, eyes glued to his knitting, and takes his needles in one hand long enough to pat the spot on the couch next to him. "Have a seat."
Kibum sits down awkwardly on the edge of the cushion, picks nervously at a hangnail on his right thumb. This is ridiculous, surreal even. He is about to ask someone for sex advice. He, Kibum, who gets more play than all of them combined. He, Kibum, who fucks so good that the girls can't figure out whether they're begging him to stop or to keep going. He, Kibum, who-hasn't been able to get it up for the past week, a voice inside his head reminds him, and he sighs. He's getting desperate, and everyone says that Sungmin is good at this, so...
"Hyung, I have a problem."
"You sure do," Sungmin agrees, eyes still on his needles. "Guys our age are supposed to get hard even when they don't want to, not the other way around."
Kibum gapes. "How did you-" he starts, then realizes that it doesn't matter. "Why is this happening?"
"Well, my first inclination," Sungmin says, finally putting down his knitting (a hat, by the looks of it) and looking at Kibum, "is to say that it's because you're fucking girls. Yuck." Kibum raises an eyebrow and Sungmin sighs. "Ok, ok, fine. Let me ask you a few questions. How many people would you say you've been with?" Kibum raises both eyebrows this time. "Rough, ballpark figure."
"I don't know. Hundreds."
"Uh huh," Sungmin says, scribbling on a pad he's picked up from the coffee table. "And do you use protection?"
"Always."
More scribbling. "And do you regularly get tested for STIs?"
"Of course. SM makes us."
"And?" Sungmin looks up at him.
"I'm clean," he says, feeling a bit defensive, and Sungmin nods and continues scribbling.
"Ok. And what do you and these girls do when you have sex?" Sungmin asks.
"What do you mean, what do we do? We fuck," Kibum answers, somewhat irritated at the silly question.
"Can you be a little more specific?" Sungmin asks.
"Sure. I stick my cock into her pussy and move it in and out a lot." Kibum says bitingly.
"Ha ha. What I'm trying to get at here, Kibum, is your range of sexual behavior." Sungmin brings the tip of his pencil up to his lip as he looks over his notes. "I'm thinking that you may not be getting enough variety."
"What?" That was ridiculous. He got plenty of variety. He even fucked foreign girls.
"Well, for example, do you only have vaginal sex? Or do you also have oral and anal sex?"
"If there's a hole that's big enough, my cock goes in it," Kibum says.
Sungmin's lips purse together; Kibum thinks he is probably trying not to smile. "And how about positions?"
"The Kama Sutra has nothing on me."
"Favorite position?"
"Doggy-style," Kibum says automatically, and then he has a thought. "Wait, why do you need to know that?"
"Ah," Sungmin says, scribbling and smiling, "you caught me. That one's just for when I fantasize about you fucking girls." He puts his pencil and pad down and begins talking again before Kibum can object. "Now, Kibum, as I'm sure you know, variety is the spice of life, and nowhere is this more true than in sex. It sounds to me like you have what for most people would be a varied and satisfying sex life: lots of different partners, lots of different positions, lots of different ways of getting pleasure. This problem is, Kibum, you're a total whore."
"What the fuck, hyung?" Kibum says, feeling blood rush to his cheeks in anger and making to stand up. Sungmin grabs his arm and tugs him back down.
"Hey, don't get angry. I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm a whore, too. It's fine to be a whore. Whores just have different needs than other people, ok?" Kibum finds himself nodding grudgingly. "Ok. Now, here's the thing-the more sex you have, the more variety you need, and I just don't think the variety you're getting is enough to keep you interested given the amount of sex you're having. I think your dick's bored."
Kibum almost laughs. "You think my dick's bored," he says.
"Yes," Sungmin says, expression deadly serious. "I think it may take some drastic measures to get it interested again."
Now Kibum does laugh. "Ok, hyung, thanks for your help, but maybe I should just see a doctor-"
"I can prove it if don't believe me."
Kibum pauses, looks quizzically at Sungmin. "You can prove it?"
"Yeah, right now, if you'd like," Sungmin says. "What time is it?"
Kibum looks at his watch. "About five."
"Perfect," Sungmin says. "Well?"
Kibum shrugs, and Sungmin leads him out of the apartment.
***
It's rush hour and the subway is packed, so full that people need to be pushed in and out at each stop. Kibum is squished in between Sungmin behind him and a business man dozing on his feet in front of him and is deeply regretting allowing his curiosity to get the better of him.
"Where are we going, hyung?" he asks, unable to move even enough to turn back to look at Sungmin.
"Just a little bit further," Sungmin says into his ear. The doors open at the next station and an impossible number of people push their way on; now Kibum literally cannot move. "There we go," Sungmin says, and then Kibum feels fingers slip beneath his shirt, meander across his stomach and slide beneath his waistband. Then Sungmin's hand wraps around his cock and he panics.
It's not the gay thing that does it, because Kibum has no problem fucking guys-he's been with a dozen or so in his time, and while it was always nice enough, he has found that he just prefers pussy. No, it's the fact that there are at least a hundred people in their subway car alone, and any one of them could look over at any time and by some cruel trick of fate manage to see through the crowd and directly to Sungmin's hand pumping deftly up and down inside his pants. Hell, they're all packed close enough together that the sleeping man in front of him can probably feel Sungmin's hand jacking him off. What if he were to wake up and realize what was going on? It would be hello police and goodbye career, and God but the media would have a field day! Kibum feels the adrenaline racing through his bloodstream, feels his palms turn clammy and his face burn, and he has never before felt so helpless, never before felt so anxious, never before-
-gotten this hard this fast. Holy fuck.
"We're packed in so tight," says Sungmin into his ear, and gives his cock a squeeze. Kibum, trying to play it cool, makes a strangled gurgling sound. "I'm getting really hot..."
And Kibum is getting pretty hot, too, because the things Sungmin is doing with his hand are not your standard handjob fare, and is there a course you can take for this? Because if so, Sungmin should definitely be the teacher.
"Halmonim, I think I saw a seat at the other end of the car," Sungmin says sweetly, and Kibum's heart races and his cock jerks when he sees a stooped old lady narrowly avoid walking into range of the private party in his pants and turn to search out the seat Sungmin may or may not have seen. Kibum communicates his concern at being nearly caught with a hand in his cookie jar by whimpering like a tiny puppy.
"I know, it's almost bursting in here," Sungmin says dangerously close to his ear, merriment barely concealed, "but don't worry-you'll be able to get off soon."
And that is so not funny, not funny at all, but he quickly stops caring because it is true, and he really is about to come, and just a little more, just like that, just a little more...
He grunts and his cock explodes and his knees buckle, and Sungmin is milking the cum out of him with one hand and holding him up with the other and yelling, "Excuse me, hold the door! Hold the door, please! My friend passed out in the heat. We need to get out here!" And then there is a whirlwind of jostling and maneuvering and the next thing he knows he is sitting on a bench on the platform and Sungmin is standing in front of him, grinning like a wildcat.
"Fuck," he says after a while, running his hands through his hair, and Sungmin laughs.
"Well?" the older boy asks pointedly.
"You were right," he says. "You were absolutely right. Just...fuck."
"Yeah, I usually am in these situations," Sungmin says, sucking absently on his index finger, and Kibum's cock jumps feebly when he realizes Sungmin is licking the cum off his hand. "I think that should solve your problem, at least for a while. Go find a nice lady to spend the night with and see if that helped, ok?"
"Sure, hyung." Sungmin smiles and begins to turn away, but Kibum surprises himself by calling out to stop him. "Hyung!"
"Hmm?" His smile is accented by a little white speck at the corner of his lip.
"Um...thanks," Kibum says, feeling awkward.
"Oh, Kibum, anytime," Sungmin says, turning and walking up the stairs to the station exit.
Hmm. Anytime, Kibum thinks.
***
The next morning Heechul is grumpier than ever, and Han Geng tells a hilarious story involving Japanese twins and French toast; from then on, things go back to normal. Sungmin feels gratified to have helped yet another member of the group with his sexual problems, so gratified, in fact, that when Kibum asks he agrees to make it a regular affair. Now every few weeks or so he and Kibum manage to find each other somewhere public-on the company elevator after a long night of practice, or in the park on a lazy Sunday afternoon-and Kibum fucks the shit out of him. Sungmin ostensibly does this for Kibum's continued sexual well-being, but he wouldn't hesitate to admit that it helps that Heechul is dead wrong: with Kibum, no one needs to fake multiple orgasms.
Private Party for 100
pairing: Sungmin/Kibum
Every night, Kibum brings home a different girl and fucks her brains out. Sungmin knows this because Han Geng and Heechul talk about it.
A lot.
Han Geng, who is an early riser, tends to see the girls stumble out of Kibum's room in the morning. They all, he says, emerge in more or less the same way: dazed, legs slightly stiff and steps dainty, and, aside from the occasional wince of discomfort, grinning like idiots. In other respects, though, they are quite a varied bunch, and Han Geng keeps the rest of the group well-informed as to their differences. "Huge tits on the one this morning," he'll say before dance practice, hands poised in front of his chest as if he were holding two large melons, or "Legs for miles," or "Really nice; she helped me clean the dishes," because sometimes he invites them to eat breakfast with him before they leave, Kibum still gently snoring in the other room.
Night owl Heechul, on the other hand, mostly just complains about how loud the girls are.
"They're so fucking loud," he'll snarl, rolling his eyes. "I can't even hear myself think over all that moaning and growling and screaming. And it's got to be fake-even girls can't come that many times in one night."
The group gets used to hearing about it. It becomes a part of their everyday routine. And then one day, it stops.
"So, how was she this morning?" Yesung asks Han Geng, and the Chinese man shrugs.
"She wasn't. I don't think he brought anyone home with him."
"Oh, he did," Heechul says, in better humor than Sungmin thinks he's ever seen him. "But she left. No moaning. No screaming. Just blessed silence!"
When the same thing happens the next day, and then again the next, Sungmin knows it's only a matter of time before Kibum comes to him to talk about whatever the problem is.
***
"Hyung," Kibum says, "do you have a minute?"
"Sure," Sungmin says, eyes glued to his knitting, and takes his needles in one hand long enough to pat the spot on the couch next to him. "Have a seat."
Kibum sits down awkwardly on the edge of the cushion, picks nervously at a hangnail on his right thumb. This is ridiculous, surreal even. He is about to ask someone for sex advice. He, Kibum, who gets more play than all of them combined. He, Kibum, who fucks so good that the girls can't figure out whether they're begging him to stop or to keep going. He, Kibum, who-hasn't been able to get it up for the past week, a voice inside his head reminds him, and he sighs. He's getting desperate, and everyone says that Sungmin is good at this, so...
"Hyung, I have a problem."
"You sure do," Sungmin agrees, eyes still on his needles. "Guys our age are supposed to get hard even when they don't want to, not the other way around."
Kibum gapes. "How did you-" he starts, then realizes that it doesn't matter. "Why is this happening?"
"Well, my first inclination," Sungmin says, finally putting down his knitting (a hat, by the looks of it) and looking at Kibum, "is to say that it's because you're fucking girls. Yuck." Kibum raises an eyebrow and Sungmin sighs. "Ok, ok, fine. Let me ask you a few questions. How many people would you say you've been with?" Kibum raises both eyebrows this time. "Rough, ballpark figure."
"I don't know. Hundreds."
"Uh huh," Sungmin says, scribbling on a pad he's picked up from the coffee table. "And do you use protection?"
"Always."
More scribbling. "And do you regularly get tested for STIs?"
"Of course. SM makes us."
"And?" Sungmin looks up at him.
"I'm clean," he says, feeling a bit defensive, and Sungmin nods and continues scribbling.
"Ok. And what do you and these girls do when you have sex?" Sungmin asks.
"What do you mean, what do we do? We fuck," Kibum answers, somewhat irritated at the silly question.
"Can you be a little more specific?" Sungmin asks.
"Sure. I stick my cock into her pussy and move it in and out a lot." Kibum says bitingly.
"Ha ha. What I'm trying to get at here, Kibum, is your range of sexual behavior." Sungmin brings the tip of his pencil up to his lip as he looks over his notes. "I'm thinking that you may not be getting enough variety."
"What?" That was ridiculous. He got plenty of variety. He even fucked foreign girls.
"Well, for example, do you only have vaginal sex? Or do you also have oral and anal sex?"
"If there's a hole that's big enough, my cock goes in it," Kibum says.
Sungmin's lips purse together; Kibum thinks he is probably trying not to smile. "And how about positions?"
"The Kama Sutra has nothing on me."
"Favorite position?"
"Doggy-style," Kibum says automatically, and then he has a thought. "Wait, why do you need to know that?"
"Ah," Sungmin says, scribbling and smiling, "you caught me. That one's just for when I fantasize about you fucking girls." He puts his pencil and pad down and begins talking again before Kibum can object. "Now, Kibum, as I'm sure you know, variety is the spice of life, and nowhere is this more true than in sex. It sounds to me like you have what for most people would be a varied and satisfying sex life: lots of different partners, lots of different positions, lots of different ways of getting pleasure. This problem is, Kibum, you're a total whore."
"What the fuck, hyung?" Kibum says, feeling blood rush to his cheeks in anger and making to stand up. Sungmin grabs his arm and tugs him back down.
"Hey, don't get angry. I don't mean it in a bad way. I'm a whore, too. It's fine to be a whore. Whores just have different needs than other people, ok?" Kibum finds himself nodding grudgingly. "Ok. Now, here's the thing-the more sex you have, the more variety you need, and I just don't think the variety you're getting is enough to keep you interested given the amount of sex you're having. I think your dick's bored."
Kibum almost laughs. "You think my dick's bored," he says.
"Yes," Sungmin says, expression deadly serious. "I think it may take some drastic measures to get it interested again."
Now Kibum does laugh. "Ok, hyung, thanks for your help, but maybe I should just see a doctor-"
"I can prove it if don't believe me."
Kibum pauses, looks quizzically at Sungmin. "You can prove it?"
"Yeah, right now, if you'd like," Sungmin says. "What time is it?"
Kibum looks at his watch. "About five."
"Perfect," Sungmin says. "Well?"
Kibum shrugs, and Sungmin leads him out of the apartment.
***
It's rush hour and the subway is packed, so full that people need to be pushed in and out at each stop. Kibum is squished in between Sungmin behind him and a business man dozing on his feet in front of him and is deeply regretting allowing his curiosity to get the better of him.
"Where are we going, hyung?" he asks, unable to move even enough to turn back to look at Sungmin.
"Just a little bit further," Sungmin says into his ear. The doors open at the next station and an impossible number of people push their way on; now Kibum literally cannot move. "There we go," Sungmin says, and then Kibum feels fingers slip beneath his shirt, meander across his stomach and slide beneath his waistband. Then Sungmin's hand wraps around his cock and he panics.
It's not the gay thing that does it, because Kibum has no problem fucking guys-he's been with a dozen or so in his time, and while it was always nice enough, he has found that he just prefers pussy. No, it's the fact that there are at least a hundred people in their subway car alone, and any one of them could look over at any time and by some cruel trick of fate manage to see through the crowd and directly to Sungmin's hand pumping deftly up and down inside his pants. Hell, they're all packed close enough together that the sleeping man in front of him can probably feel Sungmin's hand jacking him off. What if he were to wake up and realize what was going on? It would be hello police and goodbye career, and God but the media would have a field day! Kibum feels the adrenaline racing through his bloodstream, feels his palms turn clammy and his face burn, and he has never before felt so helpless, never before felt so anxious, never before-
-gotten this hard this fast. Holy fuck.
"We're packed in so tight," says Sungmin into his ear, and gives his cock a squeeze. Kibum, trying to play it cool, makes a strangled gurgling sound. "I'm getting really hot..."
And Kibum is getting pretty hot, too, because the things Sungmin is doing with his hand are not your standard handjob fare, and is there a course you can take for this? Because if so, Sungmin should definitely be the teacher.
"Halmonim, I think I saw a seat at the other end of the car," Sungmin says sweetly, and Kibum's heart races and his cock jerks when he sees a stooped old lady narrowly avoid walking into range of the private party in his pants and turn to search out the seat Sungmin may or may not have seen. Kibum communicates his concern at being nearly caught with a hand in his cookie jar by whimpering like a tiny puppy.
"I know, it's almost bursting in here," Sungmin says dangerously close to his ear, merriment barely concealed, "but don't worry-you'll be able to get off soon."
And that is so not funny, not funny at all, but he quickly stops caring because it is true, and he really is about to come, and just a little more, just like that, just a little more...
He grunts and his cock explodes and his knees buckle, and Sungmin is milking the cum out of him with one hand and holding him up with the other and yelling, "Excuse me, hold the door! Hold the door, please! My friend passed out in the heat. We need to get out here!" And then there is a whirlwind of jostling and maneuvering and the next thing he knows he is sitting on a bench on the platform and Sungmin is standing in front of him, grinning like a wildcat.
"Fuck," he says after a while, running his hands through his hair, and Sungmin laughs.
"Well?" the older boy asks pointedly.
"You were right," he says. "You were absolutely right. Just...fuck."
"Yeah, I usually am in these situations," Sungmin says, sucking absently on his index finger, and Kibum's cock jumps feebly when he realizes Sungmin is licking the cum off his hand. "I think that should solve your problem, at least for a while. Go find a nice lady to spend the night with and see if that helped, ok?"
"Sure, hyung." Sungmin smiles and begins to turn away, but Kibum surprises himself by calling out to stop him. "Hyung!"
"Hmm?" His smile is accented by a little white speck at the corner of his lip.
"Um...thanks," Kibum says, feeling awkward.
"Oh, Kibum, anytime," Sungmin says, turning and walking up the stairs to the station exit.
Hmm. Anytime, Kibum thinks.
***
The next morning Heechul is grumpier than ever, and Han Geng tells a hilarious story involving Japanese twins and French toast; from then on, things go back to normal. Sungmin feels gratified to have helped yet another member of the group with his sexual problems, so gratified, in fact, that when Kibum asks he agrees to make it a regular affair. Now every few weeks or so he and Kibum manage to find each other somewhere public-on the company elevator after a long night of practice, or in the park on a lazy Sunday afternoon-and Kibum fucks the shit out of him. Sungmin ostensibly does this for Kibum's continued sexual well-being, but he wouldn't hesitate to admit that it helps that Heechul is dead wrong: with Kibum, no one needs to fake multiple orgasms.