Running down the way up...
Helplessness and Hopelessness. They're two entirely different animals, but they get along amazingly well when they're crouched around your carcass tearing at your flesh and tugging at the sinews.
Last night, I hit a peak for my sense of general well-being. Though the most important element of my life wasn't present, I could do nothing but bask in my own glow. The thought always sat in the back of my head that I wish she was there. I don't quite feel complete anymore without her near. In my sleep, I miss her like an amputee misses a phantom limb. Reaching out with no resistance yet coming up empty handed. She means the world to me, but I pushed myself along and I was as happy as I can be when I'm not with her.
Lo the pendulum of the world swings in mighty swaths like a steel ball at war with the magnetic poles.
After very little sleep, I forced myself conscious and upright and found myself feeling 'not quite right'. Other stresses showed their face and pushed the rolling ball a little faster. My Sisyphussian boulder hit the bottom of its valley, though this time it seemed to stop on top of me, leaving me to contemplate the futility of some exercises. Questioning one's own value and existence is almost the definition of the phrase "no good can come of that".
In plain, crude, ruddy english: I feel like I can do nothing but ruin.
I could ramble endlessly but that too would be a foolish race with no finish line.
All that really matters to me right now is that I love her and she loves me in return...
Last night, I hit a peak for my sense of general well-being. Though the most important element of my life wasn't present, I could do nothing but bask in my own glow. The thought always sat in the back of my head that I wish she was there. I don't quite feel complete anymore without her near. In my sleep, I miss her like an amputee misses a phantom limb. Reaching out with no resistance yet coming up empty handed. She means the world to me, but I pushed myself along and I was as happy as I can be when I'm not with her.
Lo the pendulum of the world swings in mighty swaths like a steel ball at war with the magnetic poles.
After very little sleep, I forced myself conscious and upright and found myself feeling 'not quite right'. Other stresses showed their face and pushed the rolling ball a little faster. My Sisyphussian boulder hit the bottom of its valley, though this time it seemed to stop on top of me, leaving me to contemplate the futility of some exercises. Questioning one's own value and existence is almost the definition of the phrase "no good can come of that".
In plain, crude, ruddy english: I feel like I can do nothing but ruin.
I could ramble endlessly but that too would be a foolish race with no finish line.
All that really matters to me right now is that I love her and she loves me in return...