lets take it from the top.
so i met this boy in wakefield... a few weeks back. i didn't actually meet him myself, kelly introdced us... she befriended him, and i proceeded to break him. this is the story of the boy who made me think.
Nick is his name... he's the only boy in the "lakefield" picture on my site. so we all hung out one night and then kelly gave me his s/n name i i'm'd him. he had told her that he was scared of me and i wanted to know why. he said i was intimidating... cause he thought i was really pretty... and this intrigued me as it would any girl. so we talked alot. and i actually looked forrward to the next time i would talk to him. this shocked me cause i have never felt liek that before. For once the purity had kicked in before the fear... unfortunately the minute i realized this i snapped back to reality...
by then he liked me so i set the record straight... this is going no where. it can't. i won't let it. but he read right through me... and kept feeding me lines that i went for hook line and sinker. and i actually talked to him on the phone... something inside of me made me take risks for him. but i denyed it. as usual. although i still cannot see us together it bothers me. there's something intriguing about him and how he seems to know the answers to all the questions i have ever asked myself... and although i don't always like what he has to say, i can accept it as the truth. so here comes the conflict. we still talk all the time. and i still see no future. but i still need him. and i ask myself... do i see no future because he may not be the most atractive thing walking... am i that shallow??? and do i only "need" him because he flatters me... because finally someone is honest to me about how the rest of the world sees me... he seems to know more about me than i know about myself... and i want to hear everything he has to say-- but he gives me a headache... cause i am not deep enough to comprehend his ideas... or so he tells me. should i not openly accept everything he says. because he barelly knows me... he only knows what i've told him and he crushes my dreams with simple word and then tellms me i couldn't possibly understand because i'm "two dimensional"... am i just his pawn or is it all true?
wow deeper than i've ever been on here. lol. i was just talking to him cause he was incredibly depressed, over what i couldn't tell you because he just kept say i couldn't understand... he wouldn't even give me the chance. and then after hours talking online and making my head throb and spin because just as i thought i was grasping something he shot it down, he says "i think i'm done drilling you, goodnight". what the hell. i can't handle this right now. but i am wide awake! lol
Nick is his name... he's the only boy in the "lakefield" picture on my site. so we all hung out one night and then kelly gave me his s/n name i i'm'd him. he had told her that he was scared of me and i wanted to know why. he said i was intimidating... cause he thought i was really pretty... and this intrigued me as it would any girl. so we talked alot. and i actually looked forrward to the next time i would talk to him. this shocked me cause i have never felt liek that before. For once the purity had kicked in before the fear... unfortunately the minute i realized this i snapped back to reality...
by then he liked me so i set the record straight... this is going no where. it can't. i won't let it. but he read right through me... and kept feeding me lines that i went for hook line and sinker. and i actually talked to him on the phone... something inside of me made me take risks for him. but i denyed it. as usual. although i still cannot see us together it bothers me. there's something intriguing about him and how he seems to know the answers to all the questions i have ever asked myself... and although i don't always like what he has to say, i can accept it as the truth. so here comes the conflict. we still talk all the time. and i still see no future. but i still need him. and i ask myself... do i see no future because he may not be the most atractive thing walking... am i that shallow??? and do i only "need" him because he flatters me... because finally someone is honest to me about how the rest of the world sees me... he seems to know more about me than i know about myself... and i want to hear everything he has to say-- but he gives me a headache... cause i am not deep enough to comprehend his ideas... or so he tells me. should i not openly accept everything he says. because he barelly knows me... he only knows what i've told him and he crushes my dreams with simple word and then tellms me i couldn't possibly understand because i'm "two dimensional"... am i just his pawn or is it all true?
wow deeper than i've ever been on here. lol. i was just talking to him cause he was incredibly depressed, over what i couldn't tell you because he just kept say i couldn't understand... he wouldn't even give me the chance. and then after hours talking online and making my head throb and spin because just as i thought i was grasping something he shot it down, he says "i think i'm done drilling you, goodnight". what the hell. i can't handle this right now. but i am wide awake! lol