One-Size-Fits-All Declarations
For the record, I find that the statement "true love does not demand fidelity" just as inaccurate as the statement "true love demands fidelity."
Both are declarations of One True Way-ism, and carry the corresponding connotation of "...and therefore those who don't do things the same way I do aren't *really* in love."
Morality isn't One-Size-Fits-All, when it's between consenting adults. Polyamory's all well and great for those who want to practice it. So's monogamy. Your bedroom, your body, your life = your choice. And if you choose to put some of that choice into someone else's hands (either through monogamous bonds, BDSM, or both), well, that's your choice too, and I can respect that. Even if your choices are the antithesis of the ones I'd make. As long as you're not trying to say your choices work So Freaking Well that everyone else should drop their (obviously inferior) systems, I wish you well of them. Your love isn't stronger or purer because you choose to only share it with one person. Likewise, just because you choose to have more than one significant other, it doesn't mean that those who get too jealous or insecure to share a mate are less evolved than you are. Ditto if you prefer the same gender, the opposite gender, or those who prefer to be Door #3. Love shouldn't be a political statement.*
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."
- C. S. Lewis
(This rant isn't brought to you by anything specific, just a sentence on another journal that happened to provide the final impetus for getting me to actually write these thoughts down.)
*I say love itself shouldn't be a political statement (ie, only dating lesbians because you're a radical feminist and don't want to be involved with "the enemy"), but I am totally in support of practitioners of love-based minorities who have to stand up to get basic human rights and privileges (ie, GLBT groups pushing for equality - yes, it's a question of love at the core, but the *love itself* isn't being used for political goals).
Both are declarations of One True Way-ism, and carry the corresponding connotation of "...and therefore those who don't do things the same way I do aren't *really* in love."
Morality isn't One-Size-Fits-All, when it's between consenting adults. Polyamory's all well and great for those who want to practice it. So's monogamy. Your bedroom, your body, your life = your choice. And if you choose to put some of that choice into someone else's hands (either through monogamous bonds, BDSM, or both), well, that's your choice too, and I can respect that. Even if your choices are the antithesis of the ones I'd make. As long as you're not trying to say your choices work So Freaking Well that everyone else should drop their (obviously inferior) systems, I wish you well of them. Your love isn't stronger or purer because you choose to only share it with one person. Likewise, just because you choose to have more than one significant other, it doesn't mean that those who get too jealous or insecure to share a mate are less evolved than you are. Ditto if you prefer the same gender, the opposite gender, or those who prefer to be Door #3. Love shouldn't be a political statement.*
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."
- C. S. Lewis
(This rant isn't brought to you by anything specific, just a sentence on another journal that happened to provide the final impetus for getting me to actually write these thoughts down.)
*I say love itself shouldn't be a political statement (ie, only dating lesbians because you're a radical feminist and don't want to be involved with "the enemy"), but I am totally in support of practitioners of love-based minorities who have to stand up to get basic human rights and privileges (ie, GLBT groups pushing for equality - yes, it's a question of love at the core, but the *love itself* isn't being used for political goals).