...
I'm not doing well right now.
My life is way better off than even most of my friends. I have a job that I (mostly) love, I have a home that didn't flood with the floods. In fact, now that I've renovated most of it, it's the home I've wanted it to be for 3 years now.
I don't have terrible debilitating pain anywhere. My back hurts from time to time, but it's not terrible. I'm not in a relationship to fall apart, and believe it or not, I'm okay with being single right now. That could always change tomorrow, though.
I don't have kids to get sick and hurt themselves and eat up my life with responsibility and fret and worry.
No one owes me anything, I don't have any crazy debt, and in fact, where I should be crawling in it and broker than broke, God's providing for me amazingly well. All I ask is my daily bread, and I'm getting it in abundance. I'm actually afraid to look at my budget and crunch numbers because I might find there to be no likely explanation as to why I am affording life right now.
My job pays forward. I'm doing (mostly) what I love to do and can do well and people pay me and commend me to do it.
TV is back on, favorite shows are back on, entertainment is high.
Although I miss my best friend and her super cute daughter, I have a good network of friends who love me and care about me and I am able to fairly well juggle my schedule around to see them and have community.
I'm in a good place right now by all perceivable standards. You don't need to tell me how good I got it right now, because I know. I'm well aware of it.
So why do I fantasize about driving my car off a bridge...
My life is way better off than even most of my friends. I have a job that I (mostly) love, I have a home that didn't flood with the floods. In fact, now that I've renovated most of it, it's the home I've wanted it to be for 3 years now.
I don't have terrible debilitating pain anywhere. My back hurts from time to time, but it's not terrible. I'm not in a relationship to fall apart, and believe it or not, I'm okay with being single right now. That could always change tomorrow, though.
I don't have kids to get sick and hurt themselves and eat up my life with responsibility and fret and worry.
No one owes me anything, I don't have any crazy debt, and in fact, where I should be crawling in it and broker than broke, God's providing for me amazingly well. All I ask is my daily bread, and I'm getting it in abundance. I'm actually afraid to look at my budget and crunch numbers because I might find there to be no likely explanation as to why I am affording life right now.
My job pays forward. I'm doing (mostly) what I love to do and can do well and people pay me and commend me to do it.
TV is back on, favorite shows are back on, entertainment is high.
Although I miss my best friend and her super cute daughter, I have a good network of friends who love me and care about me and I am able to fairly well juggle my schedule around to see them and have community.
I'm in a good place right now by all perceivable standards. You don't need to tell me how good I got it right now, because I know. I'm well aware of it.
So why do I fantasize about driving my car off a bridge...