BLAH!
You know what truly gets me down sometimes? Just the fact that i have to choose. Im already indecisive and when it comes to deciding where to go, who to hang out with, what to do when hanging out, and wha ti could be misisng if i was somewhere else....it seems to be that no matter what i do, someone is upset, then i feel bad. I lose friends, i lose respect, i lose everything. I know for a fact that my closest friends stand by me at all times, as i do for them, and thats what makes me smile. :)
I always wonder what if i wasnt around tomarrow, like...what would happen if i just dissappeared? Died randomly? What would happen? I mean yeah people would be sad...mainly family, but truly, how many people would care enough to notice ya know? Like its not that i want to commit suicide, far from it! Its just something i think about...cuz as conceided as it sounds...i dont want to be the one who has NO ONE at my funeral...i mean seriously, who would want to die...and have your parents and siblings show up...and that be it? Kind of depressing really lol
Ok enough about depression lol Ok i lied already haha, i have been a real i dunno, downer lately i guess? Letting people down, not doing what i need to do, and just not being my usual self, but i guess that comes with the fact that i am busy and i have too much on my plate once again.
But i do also realize i have a lot of friends in different places and they are busy too, and then thats where i have to decide between friends and we all know i am the worst at that...it jsut sucks but thus is life.
Well enough of my ramblings lol I have work soon and then a club possibly who knows!!!
I will ttyl people!
I always wonder what if i wasnt around tomarrow, like...what would happen if i just dissappeared? Died randomly? What would happen? I mean yeah people would be sad...mainly family, but truly, how many people would care enough to notice ya know? Like its not that i want to commit suicide, far from it! Its just something i think about...cuz as conceided as it sounds...i dont want to be the one who has NO ONE at my funeral...i mean seriously, who would want to die...and have your parents and siblings show up...and that be it? Kind of depressing really lol
Ok enough about depression lol Ok i lied already haha, i have been a real i dunno, downer lately i guess? Letting people down, not doing what i need to do, and just not being my usual self, but i guess that comes with the fact that i am busy and i have too much on my plate once again.
But i do also realize i have a lot of friends in different places and they are busy too, and then thats where i have to decide between friends and we all know i am the worst at that...it jsut sucks but thus is life.
Well enough of my ramblings lol I have work soon and then a club possibly who knows!!!
I will ttyl people!