Did I seriously not post a subject the last time this happened?!
Hey all, it's been awhile since I rapped at ya, but I been real busy.
RIP Barfless Streak
02/01/2003 - 03/17/2019
A little over 16 years ago, I contracted a stomach bug that the other residents of my dorm and I dubbed the "Boobonic Plague." I woke up at 4:00AM and barfed/shit my brains out for 4 hours on the floor of my dorm bathroom. I would actually switch between two of the stalls - one to throw up in and one to shit in. It was one of those illnesses where I would not throw up if I remained in a tight fetal position, but as soon as I lifted my head or shifted my body because I was uncomfortable there was a cartoonish level of vomit and shit. And believe me, I lifted my head a lot to tell drunk dorm residents that, no, I was not drunk, please don't try to move me, and yes, Zak, I believe that snow phallus does look immaculate, but there is no way that I'm going to be able to drag myself to the window to look at it, let alone go outside to view it in all its glory.
Other details from that very early morning worth noting:
*I was supposed to interview for an RA position that morning, but had to cancel due to my illness. I even called up the RHD (or whoever it was that was in charge of interviewing potential RAs) and explain that I caught a stomach bug and had been in the bathroom for 4 hours. I believe I even told her that I knew it looked bad, but promised that this wasn't the result of over-indulging because I wasn't really a drinker. Anyway, even I had been able to make or reschedule the interview, I can't imagine I would have secured a second one because my grades huffed dong the previous semester (I failed a math class that brought my GPA down to the low 2s. I ended up graduating with a cumulative 3.0 GPA though, which I was always pretty proud of. My grad school GPA was even over a 3.5!).
*In my linked entry at the top of the page, that part about "it sucks when part of you dies" is cringingly teen angsty. I still know exactly what I was thinking/feeling at the time, too. My on-again, off-again girlfriend and I decided to call it quits for good. I don't mean to invalidate my feelings at the time, and I suppose there could have been way, WAY worse art/media figures to relate to than Henry Rollins, but Dramarama - "Anything, Anything" am I right? Anyway, after that dissolved, I recall thinking that I needed a "mourning period" before I started dating again. My mourning period lasted all of like 6 days, I think? An actual committed decision not to date would eventually take place the following spring, so that I could process my feelings from the on-again, off-again relationship as well as subsequent ones. It lasted for a little over a year, which sorta blows my mind in a "Wow, what a mature way to deal with heartbreak, Young Dane!" sort of way.
*Also in my linked entry at the top of the page, I lamented over not being able to see Coheed and Cambria play at the old Grog Shop with my high school pal Yuliya due to my illness. I had previously seen/heard Coheed and Cambria for the first two back in mid-October 2002 at the Beachland, where they opened for Vendetta Red, Thrice, and Hot Water Music (still stands as one of the best tours/line-ups I have ever seen: two killer bands that I was very into at the time (HWM and Thrice), and two bands I had never listened to but blew me away (Vendetta Red and Coheed and Cambria.). I still listen to Coheed to this day and buy all of their albums, and I just saw them last month at the Agora.
*I've been listening to AFI - "Sing The Sorrow" in my bathroom while getting ready for bed a ton after I saw a post on their Instagram celebrating the 16th anniversary of its release on March 11th, and the track "Girls Not Gray" was actually the soundtrack to my puking earlier. That album came out a little more than a month after the last time that I puked, and it still rips asses! There's something "full-circle" about it being such a HUGE part of my life when I was 19, still such an enjoyable/influential part of my life now, and both ages punctuated by vomit.
*The last thing I ate (and subsequently threw up) in 2003 was Chipotle (it was our post-Friday-dodgeball dinner of choice). As the Boobonic Plague was making its rounds, I remember thinking to myself "I really hope I don't come down with it, and if I do come down with it, I really hope that the last thing I eat before throwing up isn't Chipotle or the wraps from the upstairs of Tri-Tower. I'd hate to to have a psychological aversion to either of those as a result of throwing them up." Anyway, I didn't eat Chipotle for YEARS afterward, but I've since gotten over it.
Anyway, onto my current illness. I slept pretty shitty all last week, and then my buddy Evan came into town on Friday so there was a lot of late-night hangs. I woke up feeling a little ache-y on Friday, a little achier/feverish but for the most part fine on Saturday (though when I went to Sam O.'s son Neil's birthday in the afternoon I was feeling slightly queasy and didn't actually eat anything while there or for the rest of the night), and pretty crummy this morning. I managed to eat some cereal, and Roni got me a Cleveland Clover milkshake from Sweet Moses (a better version of McDonald's Shamrock Shake) right before I left to play in my basketball league. We actually said to each other "Man, this is a terrible idea for me to drink this on a pretty empty/queasy stomach and then run around for awhile, but we haven't had Cleveland Clovers ALL season and this is the last day to get them!"
I played, talked about how I inadvertently shit my buttcheeks earlier in the day with some teammates (another bad sign of my stomach's health) (to shit one's buttcheeks is to *ahem* gamble and lose on flatulence, but instead of actually shitting your pants, you catch it all in your buttcheeks while your underpants/pants remain clean), bought some Pepto Bismol and other pantry necessities on my way home, and decided to take a hot shower because I was feeling chills. I was feeling very nauseous while in the shower, but thought I'd be able to will it away if I could just got in bed and use the "tight fetal position" move that has worked for me in the past (I woke up once last year thinking I was gonna throw up, but managed to ward it off with that). After I got out of the shower, I was like "Ugh I need to brush my teeth. Eh, maybe I'll just use mouthwash." I used mouthwash, thought better of not brushing my teeth, brushed my teeth quickly, set my toothbrush down on the right-hand side of the sink...and puked up green water 2-3 times, and then some darker green liquid (presumably bile) and bits of undigested cereal. I was thinking to myself, you know, this isn't great, but it isn't THAT bad because I can actually feel myself feeling a little bit better and better with each expulsion.
After I stopped, I started pissing out of my butt and texted a few close friends that had experienced my last bout throwing up and my buddy Greg L. Greg and I had bonded over the last few years over our barfless streaks - he hasn't barfed since March 1st, 2010. I told him to go break my streak now, and he said, "This is very sad to hear...... Yet, we all know these are streaks that will ultimately end. Cal Ripken said it's time." - Huge laugh from me on that Cal Ripken line.
Anyway, this might be the longest entry I've posted in this thing in...oof...2 years? Probably should cut myself off here and eat some plain rice because I'm feeling a little hungry for the first time in like 36 hours.
Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Live responsibly and lovingly. You're beautiful. Peace!
Yours, etc.,
<3dane
xoxo
RIP Barfless Streak
02/01/2003 - 03/17/2019
A little over 16 years ago, I contracted a stomach bug that the other residents of my dorm and I dubbed the "Boobonic Plague." I woke up at 4:00AM and barfed/shit my brains out for 4 hours on the floor of my dorm bathroom. I would actually switch between two of the stalls - one to throw up in and one to shit in. It was one of those illnesses where I would not throw up if I remained in a tight fetal position, but as soon as I lifted my head or shifted my body because I was uncomfortable there was a cartoonish level of vomit and shit. And believe me, I lifted my head a lot to tell drunk dorm residents that, no, I was not drunk, please don't try to move me, and yes, Zak, I believe that snow phallus does look immaculate, but there is no way that I'm going to be able to drag myself to the window to look at it, let alone go outside to view it in all its glory.
Other details from that very early morning worth noting:
*I was supposed to interview for an RA position that morning, but had to cancel due to my illness. I even called up the RHD (or whoever it was that was in charge of interviewing potential RAs) and explain that I caught a stomach bug and had been in the bathroom for 4 hours. I believe I even told her that I knew it looked bad, but promised that this wasn't the result of over-indulging because I wasn't really a drinker. Anyway, even I had been able to make or reschedule the interview, I can't imagine I would have secured a second one because my grades huffed dong the previous semester (I failed a math class that brought my GPA down to the low 2s. I ended up graduating with a cumulative 3.0 GPA though, which I was always pretty proud of. My grad school GPA was even over a 3.5!).
*In my linked entry at the top of the page, that part about "it sucks when part of you dies" is cringingly teen angsty. I still know exactly what I was thinking/feeling at the time, too. My on-again, off-again girlfriend and I decided to call it quits for good. I don't mean to invalidate my feelings at the time, and I suppose there could have been way, WAY worse art/media figures to relate to than Henry Rollins, but Dramarama - "Anything, Anything" am I right? Anyway, after that dissolved, I recall thinking that I needed a "mourning period" before I started dating again. My mourning period lasted all of like 6 days, I think? An actual committed decision not to date would eventually take place the following spring, so that I could process my feelings from the on-again, off-again relationship as well as subsequent ones. It lasted for a little over a year, which sorta blows my mind in a "Wow, what a mature way to deal with heartbreak, Young Dane!" sort of way.
*Also in my linked entry at the top of the page, I lamented over not being able to see Coheed and Cambria play at the old Grog Shop with my high school pal Yuliya due to my illness. I had previously seen/heard Coheed and Cambria for the first two back in mid-October 2002 at the Beachland, where they opened for Vendetta Red, Thrice, and Hot Water Music (still stands as one of the best tours/line-ups I have ever seen: two killer bands that I was very into at the time (HWM and Thrice), and two bands I had never listened to but blew me away (Vendetta Red and Coheed and Cambria.). I still listen to Coheed to this day and buy all of their albums, and I just saw them last month at the Agora.
*I've been listening to AFI - "Sing The Sorrow" in my bathroom while getting ready for bed a ton after I saw a post on their Instagram celebrating the 16th anniversary of its release on March 11th, and the track "Girls Not Gray" was actually the soundtrack to my puking earlier. That album came out a little more than a month after the last time that I puked, and it still rips asses! There's something "full-circle" about it being such a HUGE part of my life when I was 19, still such an enjoyable/influential part of my life now, and both ages punctuated by vomit.
*The last thing I ate (and subsequently threw up) in 2003 was Chipotle (it was our post-Friday-dodgeball dinner of choice). As the Boobonic Plague was making its rounds, I remember thinking to myself "I really hope I don't come down with it, and if I do come down with it, I really hope that the last thing I eat before throwing up isn't Chipotle or the wraps from the upstairs of Tri-Tower. I'd hate to to have a psychological aversion to either of those as a result of throwing them up." Anyway, I didn't eat Chipotle for YEARS afterward, but I've since gotten over it.
Anyway, onto my current illness. I slept pretty shitty all last week, and then my buddy Evan came into town on Friday so there was a lot of late-night hangs. I woke up feeling a little ache-y on Friday, a little achier/feverish but for the most part fine on Saturday (though when I went to Sam O.'s son Neil's birthday in the afternoon I was feeling slightly queasy and didn't actually eat anything while there or for the rest of the night), and pretty crummy this morning. I managed to eat some cereal, and Roni got me a Cleveland Clover milkshake from Sweet Moses (a better version of McDonald's Shamrock Shake) right before I left to play in my basketball league. We actually said to each other "Man, this is a terrible idea for me to drink this on a pretty empty/queasy stomach and then run around for awhile, but we haven't had Cleveland Clovers ALL season and this is the last day to get them!"
I played, talked about how I inadvertently shit my buttcheeks earlier in the day with some teammates (another bad sign of my stomach's health) (to shit one's buttcheeks is to *ahem* gamble and lose on flatulence, but instead of actually shitting your pants, you catch it all in your buttcheeks while your underpants/pants remain clean), bought some Pepto Bismol and other pantry necessities on my way home, and decided to take a hot shower because I was feeling chills. I was feeling very nauseous while in the shower, but thought I'd be able to will it away if I could just got in bed and use the "tight fetal position" move that has worked for me in the past (I woke up once last year thinking I was gonna throw up, but managed to ward it off with that). After I got out of the shower, I was like "Ugh I need to brush my teeth. Eh, maybe I'll just use mouthwash." I used mouthwash, thought better of not brushing my teeth, brushed my teeth quickly, set my toothbrush down on the right-hand side of the sink...and puked up green water 2-3 times, and then some darker green liquid (presumably bile) and bits of undigested cereal. I was thinking to myself, you know, this isn't great, but it isn't THAT bad because I can actually feel myself feeling a little bit better and better with each expulsion.
After I stopped, I started pissing out of my butt and texted a few close friends that had experienced my last bout throwing up and my buddy Greg L. Greg and I had bonded over the last few years over our barfless streaks - he hasn't barfed since March 1st, 2010. I told him to go break my streak now, and he said, "This is very sad to hear...... Yet, we all know these are streaks that will ultimately end. Cal Ripken said it's time." - Huge laugh from me on that Cal Ripken line.
Anyway, this might be the longest entry I've posted in this thing in...oof...2 years? Probably should cut myself off here and eat some plain rice because I'm feeling a little hungry for the first time in like 36 hours.
Treat others how you'd like to be treated. Live responsibly and lovingly. You're beautiful. Peace!
Yours, etc.,
<3dane
xoxo