What a shocker!!
"We try to get inside the other person to pinpoint his or her attitudes, emotions, motivations, abilities, ideas, perceptions, and traits. Although research suggest that our methods for assessing other's feelings and behaviors are usually quite imprecise, we sometimes behave as if we can accomplish this difficult maneuver almost instantaneously--perhaps with a two-second glance."
Haha, what a surprise, my text for my interim class said the one thing that I was always pissed off with the last several months. Everyone did just what the above says. They all thought that they had me figured out 100% which they never did! No one really knows of the emotional baggage I have from my childhood or my past. I don't tell every person I meet I have depression! I don't tell people that I've cut in the past! So while every damn person thought they knew the motives behind my actions, they knew nothing. My first relationship lasted two years and after I broke up with that boyfriend, he treated me like shit afterwards. It resulted in trust issues with intimate relationships that I didn't know I had until I started dating Travis. It was something I was continually working on too!!! No one knew that when I was in elementary school I never had a constant friend. Each year, I would make a single friend and she would move away over summer. So I was stuck with making a new friend each year...sure, no difficult task for a child...but I was extremely shy and did not have a group of friends. My speech was delayed because I was born with dysfunctional Eustachian tubes, which resulted in impaired hearing. I watch old home videos when I was five and my sister was three and my sister is having an understandable conversation with my mom while my communication was just sounds. But do you see me going around telling every person I meet that? No. When conversing with me now, no one would ever guess that I had that problem. The only person I really talked about it with was Amber and that's because Amber's getting her degree in Audiology and she also has her own ear problem. I also don't tell others that I get joy out of dark things. Really...only my high school friends are aware of my past desire to be a don. That I can laugh while playing a first person game with slashing a character with a machete. That taking a tennis racket to someone's head sounds enjoyable. Which, when watching Higurashi the one character I loved the most was Rena!
She has a clever!! That's even better than a machete or a tennis racket! And what a surprise, Travis' favorite character from that show was her too!!! Which that was added to the list of unusual things the two of us had in common but I never really told him!
And on the mention of that list, one of the other things that we both liked but I never told him was that his favorite scene out of all the Full Metal Panic episodes is my favorite too! It's the scene when Sousuke comes back to his apartment to find Kaname sitting next to the door asleep because she was waiting for him. Don't know what I'm talking about? Here, go to the 20 minute mark.
Full Metal Panic Ep 17 The Wind Blows At Home Part 3 via Noolmusic.com
Why is it my favorite scene?! Because that would be something I would do for someone I care about and the one thing that I'd like to wake up to in that situation is the one person I care about being there and giving a damn about me too. Which, I guess because Travis showed it to me and told me it was his favorite scene, I thought that he would be the type of guy would give a damn. Everything about Travis seemed to be perfect for me! And look at us now...not even talking and every time I think about that I can't help but cry because I feel like I lost the closest person I've ever met and gotten to know...and everyone else think they have the damn right to go off of their stupid theories and opinions and put words in my mouth. GAH!!!!!
And guess what?! I made the decision to not tell people about those things these days because (1)it's MY past and my new friends should have little to do with it. (2)I never found it necessary to talk about or a time was never present. I don't tell many people I have depression. I don't find it necessary to tell my "history" to every friend because what does that have to do with the friendship?!
So, take the above as gained wisdom. Everyone does it, but only a small percentage of people actually stop and think about it. Stop and see that they are judging someone without knowing his/her past and instead of continuing a theory based on opinions and little knowledge, either it's dropped or asked about with that individual person instead!
No wonder I have a hate for humans.
Haha, what a surprise, my text for my interim class said the one thing that I was always pissed off with the last several months. Everyone did just what the above says. They all thought that they had me figured out 100% which they never did! No one really knows of the emotional baggage I have from my childhood or my past. I don't tell every person I meet I have depression! I don't tell people that I've cut in the past! So while every damn person thought they knew the motives behind my actions, they knew nothing. My first relationship lasted two years and after I broke up with that boyfriend, he treated me like shit afterwards. It resulted in trust issues with intimate relationships that I didn't know I had until I started dating Travis. It was something I was continually working on too!!! No one knew that when I was in elementary school I never had a constant friend. Each year, I would make a single friend and she would move away over summer. So I was stuck with making a new friend each year...sure, no difficult task for a child...but I was extremely shy and did not have a group of friends. My speech was delayed because I was born with dysfunctional Eustachian tubes, which resulted in impaired hearing. I watch old home videos when I was five and my sister was three and my sister is having an understandable conversation with my mom while my communication was just sounds. But do you see me going around telling every person I meet that? No. When conversing with me now, no one would ever guess that I had that problem. The only person I really talked about it with was Amber and that's because Amber's getting her degree in Audiology and she also has her own ear problem. I also don't tell others that I get joy out of dark things. Really...only my high school friends are aware of my past desire to be a don. That I can laugh while playing a first person game with slashing a character with a machete. That taking a tennis racket to someone's head sounds enjoyable. Which, when watching Higurashi the one character I loved the most was Rena!
She has a clever!! That's even better than a machete or a tennis racket! And what a surprise, Travis' favorite character from that show was her too!!! Which that was added to the list of unusual things the two of us had in common but I never really told him!
And on the mention of that list, one of the other things that we both liked but I never told him was that his favorite scene out of all the Full Metal Panic episodes is my favorite too! It's the scene when Sousuke comes back to his apartment to find Kaname sitting next to the door asleep because she was waiting for him. Don't know what I'm talking about? Here, go to the 20 minute mark.
Full Metal Panic Ep 17 The Wind Blows At Home Part 3 via Noolmusic.com
Why is it my favorite scene?! Because that would be something I would do for someone I care about and the one thing that I'd like to wake up to in that situation is the one person I care about being there and giving a damn about me too. Which, I guess because Travis showed it to me and told me it was his favorite scene, I thought that he would be the type of guy would give a damn. Everything about Travis seemed to be perfect for me! And look at us now...not even talking and every time I think about that I can't help but cry because I feel like I lost the closest person I've ever met and gotten to know...and everyone else think they have the damn right to go off of their stupid theories and opinions and put words in my mouth. GAH!!!!!
And guess what?! I made the decision to not tell people about those things these days because (1)it's MY past and my new friends should have little to do with it. (2)I never found it necessary to talk about or a time was never present. I don't tell many people I have depression. I don't find it necessary to tell my "history" to every friend because what does that have to do with the friendship?!
So, take the above as gained wisdom. Everyone does it, but only a small percentage of people actually stop and think about it. Stop and see that they are judging someone without knowing his/her past and instead of continuing a theory based on opinions and little knowledge, either it's dropped or asked about with that individual person instead!
No wonder I have a hate for humans.