Dimmest Spotlight
Sorry about the last entry. I guess I'm not too good with words, or anything really. I have notice that ever since all this happened, I have not been feeling emotion. maybe im making excuses or just trying to tell you something but lately i just havent felt the same. Being young it sounds dumb but i feeli like i have nothing left nothing to look foward to nothing to bring to anyone not anything at all. it feels like i have gotten to a point in my life where i have to just start looking past things bc if i bottle it up i dont want to know what would happen after i sobbed for days on end. like what do i have to wake up looking forward to? nothing. my future seems pointless and so doesnt life right about now. i mean how can i feel this way after experiencing something like this but come home and pretend everything is okay. well just a hint everything isnt okay. i have no one to lean towards no one who cares no one to tell me that tomorrow will be better than today no one to tell me that i help them no one to tell me thanks for being there. i have no one bc im not anybody and i never will be. i should learn that others have feelings too. and i think about myself all the time and never care how others feel. im never anyone's shoulder to lean on or anything. im nobody and i feel like if i were to just disapear noone would notice or care. why cant i cry anymore? is it because i dont care or because if i cry i wont know what to say think or do. i want to get away from everything and everyone and just live out a good day. no problems no tears no mourning. how am i supposed to feel or forget about this? what are my actions supposed to be? maybe i can back to you on that topic later...or maybe not
it's the end
it's the end