I guess I'm officially done.
There's always a moment. I thought it would be walking toward my seat at graduation. Or being handed my diploma cover. Something official that would allow me to reassure myself, "Okay, you're done with high school. You're ready." There was no one single moment for me. Last week, I certainly didn't need any reassuring. I'm nervous that I won't live up to my own expectations. I'm excited talking to my future classmates and buying new dorm stuff. I'm sad that I won't see my friends-- the people I've called crying when I was really hurt, smiling because I heard the stupidest joke ever and I can't even stop laughing to tell it, and chatting away because I'm bored and want to feed ducks. Even though I couldn't wait to get out, I loved high school. I learned so much-- and not just from textbooks. I can't even describe what Key Club did for me. Tonight was the Kiwanis scholarship night. I love those people. There are so many caring people out there who just want to help. I really hope we can have a reunion in August. I miss those kids. And I'm still the youngest :)
I'll always be the introverted philosopher who sits in a corner to read, but I've learned never to pass up an adventure. Graduating high school is more than moving on to another school for me. I feel like I'm graduating my identity. Josh's grandpa said that the tricky thing about change is that you have to establish your identity all over again. You have to earn people's respect and attention and you have to adapt to an environment where you don't know exactly who you are, just who you've been. Here we go again with this existentialist stuff. I'm graduating from a lot of things. I won't remember my classrooms or the dances or the homework. Just the people who I've come across. We're a strange species :) Someone I thought was genuine really hurt me. And some people I had never even seen before a certain point became some of my closest friends. I think it's mind blowing how we all form connections. There are well over 6 billion people in this world, and we haven't even met a quarter of the people we'll meet in our lifetime.
But graduating literally means dividing into marked intervals. Like a graduated cylinder. I love the people I've become close to during the past four years. I really hope we can all come back during Thanksgiving and hang out again. I know there will be a point when someone is missing because they're studying in Hong Kong or doing mission work in Haiti or something, but sometimes you know when friendships are meant to last.
I'll always be the introverted philosopher who sits in a corner to read, but I've learned never to pass up an adventure. Graduating high school is more than moving on to another school for me. I feel like I'm graduating my identity. Josh's grandpa said that the tricky thing about change is that you have to establish your identity all over again. You have to earn people's respect and attention and you have to adapt to an environment where you don't know exactly who you are, just who you've been. Here we go again with this existentialist stuff. I'm graduating from a lot of things. I won't remember my classrooms or the dances or the homework. Just the people who I've come across. We're a strange species :) Someone I thought was genuine really hurt me. And some people I had never even seen before a certain point became some of my closest friends. I think it's mind blowing how we all form connections. There are well over 6 billion people in this world, and we haven't even met a quarter of the people we'll meet in our lifetime.
But graduating literally means dividing into marked intervals. Like a graduated cylinder. I love the people I've become close to during the past four years. I really hope we can all come back during Thanksgiving and hang out again. I know there will be a point when someone is missing because they're studying in Hong Kong or doing mission work in Haiti or something, but sometimes you know when friendships are meant to last.