Fanmix: Broken Inside - Cordelia Roberts Mix
Medium: Television
Fandom: General Hospital
Subject: Cordelia Roberts (Original fictional character)
Title: Broken Inside
Notes: Cordelia Roberts is, by far, the most complex character I've ever written. Adding her to (my) GH's canvas that is already full of complex characters was an even bigger challenge. I had to make her unique, make her whole, and stand her apart from all the rest. I think I did that, though I could be mistaken. This mix has been a long time coming...seriously. And while her story is not finished (I should really get on that), she is complete.
Thirty chapters of which can be found here: Bad Moon Rising
Daughter. Sister. Soldier. Prisoner. War Veteran. Journalist. Truth-seeker. Fighter. She's lost friends in combat. Her sister has been kidnapped. She fights for control of her own mind. Her experiences shape who she is. Her heart leads her to do what is right.
Pictures are of Bianca Lawson.
Two volume disc of 12 songs each.
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Tracks listing:
Volume I (Tracks o1-12): Her time in Iraq, her capture, her relationship with her fellow captives (one in particular) and her subsequent return home where she tries to build a normal life for herself. Her sister's kidnapping is the end of one journey and the beginning of another.
Volume II (Tracks 13-24): Her arrival in Port Charles, New York, the unexpected involvement of Jason Morgan and the mob in her life and search, finding her sister, the confrontation of her parents and the act of putting her life together again for the second time.
Both Volumes.
o1. The Day the World Went Away || Nine Inch Nails [Cordelia's capture]
I'd listen to the words he'd say/But in his voice I heard decay/The plastic face forced to portray/All the insides left cold and gray/There is a place that still remains/It eats the fear it eats the pain/the sweetest price he'll have to pay/The day the whole world went away
o2. Gortoz-A Ran || Hans Zimmer
*sung in Breton*
o3. Angel's Punishment || Lacuna Coil [Her views of the war]
To fight in defense/Forgotten words/Of friendly hate/War-destruction
o4. Anthem of the Angels || Breaking Benjamin [The death of a comrade]
Days go on forever/But I have not left your side/We can chase the dark together/If you go then so will I
o5. Machine Gun || Portishead [The torture she suffered changed her]
If only I could see/You turn myself to me/And recognize the poison in my heart.
o6. Deliver Me || Sarah Brightman [One of the most important relationships of her life: her friendship with Rex]
All of my life I've been in hiding/Wishing there was someone just like you/Now that you're here, now that I've found you/I know that you're the one to pull me through.
o7. Take It All Away || Red [Her demons threaten to overtake her]
I'm breaking; I can't do this on my own/Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?
o8. Dismantle. Repair. || Anberlin [Help from an old friend with similar experience: John McBain]
Help me; save me from myself/Save me from myself
09. I Would Die For You || Jann Arden [Cordelia's romantic relationship with Rex]
I've never kissed a sweeter mouth/I've never been swept away/It's what dreams are made up of/Don't you know I could not survive/Without you in my life
1o. Broken Inside || Broken Iris [Though her life appears normal, everything is falling apart again]
Crashing through times/That drive me to find/The darkness behind/Will never run dry/But all still stand
11. Hello Alone || Anberlin [Her sister is missing and she has a bad feeling]
I feel helpless, sleeping at best/Waiting for your return/Are you ever coming home?
12. I Will Find You || Clannad [She vows to bring her sister home]
No matter where you go/I will find you/If it takes a long long time/No matter where you go/I will find you/If it takes a thousand years
13. Losing My Religion || R.E.M. [While tracking her sister, Cordelia fears the worst has happened to her]
I thought that I heard you laughing/I thought that I heard you sing/I think I thought I saw you try
14. I Am You || Depeche Mode [Unexpected arrival of Jason Morgan- mob enforcer - in her life and the effect he has on her]
Strange compulsions that I can't control/Pure possession of my heart and soul/I must live with this reality/I am you and you are me
15. Lost Lullaby || Lacuna Coil [Falling for Jason is not an option]
Cold that rescues me/The wound in here/Is reminding me that I'll be one day/Just a broken wheel onto your way
16. Nothing Left to Lose || Deepfield [Cordelia is tired of playing by the rules; she vows to get her sister back no matter what]
Nothing left to say/Nothing left to prove/There's everything to gain, when there's nothing left to lose
17. Leave Out All the Rest || Linkin Park [She would do anything to protect the people she loves]
When my time comes/Forget the wrong that I've done/Help me leave behind some/Reasons to be missed/And don't resent me/And when you're feeling empty/Keep me in your memory/Leave out all the rest
18. Ordinary World || Red [Life after she finds her sister]
Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue/Thought I heard you talking softly/I turned on the lights, the TV, and the radio/Still I can't escape the ghost of you
19. For You || Staind [Confrontation with her absentee parents]
The silence is what kills me/I need someone here to help me/But you don't know how to listen/And let me make my decisions
2o. Fragile || Megan McCauley [Acceptance of her demons, finding the strength within and commanding respect]
I am fragile, but I'm strong enough/I am wanted, enemy number one/I am lying, cause I never fell/If you need me, follow me to hell.
21. Unlike Me || Kate Havnevik [Choosing between the man she loves and the man who loves her]
There are no guarantees in life/Not for the present/Nor for the future/All I know is
That I'm here/Don't know for how long/I love the way/You live so intensely/Enjoy every minute of life/With space to swing/Your arms around/Laughing loudly
22. Stranded || Jennifer Paige [For the man she chose]
I want to be with you/If you want to be with me/Crashing like a tidal wave/I don't want to be/Stranded
23. Tears From the Moon || Conjure One [For the man she let get away]
Couldn't sleep so I went out walking/Thinking about you and hearing us talking/And all the things I should have said/Echo now, inside my head/I feel something falling from the sky/I'm so sad I made the angels cry
24. Here Before || Lissie [Cordelia must put her life together again]
And this is the time, the time to change my life
As always, comments are ♥. Individual songs uploaded by request.