(no subject)
sooo whats new?...nothing except for me going to babysit again at 9 but kristin is comming with me again which will make my night so much more better....i cant stand that fucking child but im doing it for the mulah...
my mom is really fucking annoying me today...she's like talking to me about buying a house in penn. instead of a house in smallwood which is really pissing me off..but i cant tell her what do so i was like "ok do whatever you want...but i dont wanna get a house in penn. cuz we've been going up to smallwood for 9 years already & thats where i've collected my thoughts & grew up every year & it just wouldn't feel right getting a house elsewhere" & she just keeps on trying to convince me & its annoying the shit out of me..like whatever..she wants to get a house there she could..& she's talking to me about what houses they have there & tryna put a magazine in my face to rub it in & shit & i just dont CARE! i just dont want to fucking see houses up there b/c thats no where i want one..she doesnt get it & she's just pissing me off so i was like "leave me alone already..i already told you that i dont want a house there but you can buy a house where ever the hell you want b/c im not the one who has the money to buy..why the hell do you keep on fucking insisting! whatever you have my damn blessing if thats what you're looking for." she reminds me of my damn sister...they're both the same horoscope sign & they're exactly alike..when it comes to proving a point..like if you understand what they're saying but dont agree with it they're gonna try to change your mind. i hate people like that. i hate it when people try to force me to change my opinion.
so anyways..im tryna hook kristin up with rob...so far their hitting it ok but im really not fucking apriciating the fact that rob's tryna get into my pants too..like he wants a damn threesome. i fucking made it clear to him that im with Jay & that i love jay & dont want to fucking be with anyone else...its not even that i dont want to cheat on jay...cuz i really dont..i dont agree with cheating on someone...but its like i just dont want to hook up with him..even though im over him or whatever..i still have a soft spot for him cuz that's who took my virginity buti wanna kill that soft spot too cuz wheni have a soft spot its easy to get to me...& he fucking knows that & i feel like he's using that as a way to get with me...ugh. whatever. men are pigs...which leads me into the next topic..
last time i saw jay before last night/this morning was like last week...& he bought TWO packs of condoms..yesterday..we're about to get jiggy with it & he tells me we only have ONE condom left...last time i saw him we had sex twice so that means that there's one more condom left...& then a pack that has three condoms in it...so wheres the other fucking pack..im asking him about it & he's looking me in the eyes but theres something in his eyes like other times i've asked him question that has to do with him possibly cheating & then he fucking punches me playfully as if to say "would you get off the subject its making me uncomfortable/nervous." whatever man...if he is cheating on me i'd rather him just let me fucking know & thats it..i wouldn't be dramatic..i wouldn't cheat on him back..i'd just end things & we could just continue our friendship....ugh..this is exactly why i hate getting into relationships....i hate feeling like someone's lying to me..& im not insecure to be worried that he's cheating on me..i just get these strong vibes & i could read people's eyes & shit or the actions they do & its like i know what they're fucking doing & it just pisses me off that they have to be sneaky about it. i wish that everyone i ever knew would just tell me the fucking truth..half the reason why drama starts is cuz people lie & you're just stuck tryna prove them wrong..ugh people suck in general.
on a much more brighter note (literally) the weather has been nice & sunny & warm & i love it!
♥
my mom is really fucking annoying me today...she's like talking to me about buying a house in penn. instead of a house in smallwood which is really pissing me off..but i cant tell her what do so i was like "ok do whatever you want...but i dont wanna get a house in penn. cuz we've been going up to smallwood for 9 years already & thats where i've collected my thoughts & grew up every year & it just wouldn't feel right getting a house elsewhere" & she just keeps on trying to convince me & its annoying the shit out of me..like whatever..she wants to get a house there she could..& she's talking to me about what houses they have there & tryna put a magazine in my face to rub it in & shit & i just dont CARE! i just dont want to fucking see houses up there b/c thats no where i want one..she doesnt get it & she's just pissing me off so i was like "leave me alone already..i already told you that i dont want a house there but you can buy a house where ever the hell you want b/c im not the one who has the money to buy..why the hell do you keep on fucking insisting! whatever you have my damn blessing if thats what you're looking for." she reminds me of my damn sister...they're both the same horoscope sign & they're exactly alike..when it comes to proving a point..like if you understand what they're saying but dont agree with it they're gonna try to change your mind. i hate people like that. i hate it when people try to force me to change my opinion.
so anyways..im tryna hook kristin up with rob...so far their hitting it ok but im really not fucking apriciating the fact that rob's tryna get into my pants too..like he wants a damn threesome. i fucking made it clear to him that im with Jay & that i love jay & dont want to fucking be with anyone else...its not even that i dont want to cheat on jay...cuz i really dont..i dont agree with cheating on someone...but its like i just dont want to hook up with him..even though im over him or whatever..i still have a soft spot for him cuz that's who took my virginity buti wanna kill that soft spot too cuz wheni have a soft spot its easy to get to me...& he fucking knows that & i feel like he's using that as a way to get with me...ugh. whatever. men are pigs...which leads me into the next topic..
last time i saw jay before last night/this morning was like last week...& he bought TWO packs of condoms..yesterday..we're about to get jiggy with it & he tells me we only have ONE condom left...last time i saw him we had sex twice so that means that there's one more condom left...& then a pack that has three condoms in it...so wheres the other fucking pack..im asking him about it & he's looking me in the eyes but theres something in his eyes like other times i've asked him question that has to do with him possibly cheating & then he fucking punches me playfully as if to say "would you get off the subject its making me uncomfortable/nervous." whatever man...if he is cheating on me i'd rather him just let me fucking know & thats it..i wouldn't be dramatic..i wouldn't cheat on him back..i'd just end things & we could just continue our friendship....ugh..this is exactly why i hate getting into relationships....i hate feeling like someone's lying to me..& im not insecure to be worried that he's cheating on me..i just get these strong vibes & i could read people's eyes & shit or the actions they do & its like i know what they're fucking doing & it just pisses me off that they have to be sneaky about it. i wish that everyone i ever knew would just tell me the fucking truth..half the reason why drama starts is cuz people lie & you're just stuck tryna prove them wrong..ugh people suck in general.
on a much more brighter note (literally) the weather has been nice & sunny & warm & i love it!
♥