One. Two. How are you?
So, I have two stories to relate from this weekend and, awkwardly enough, both share the same locals - a public restroom.
Friday:
After work I went to Borders to work on a paper for a class. I’m in the café, happily typing away, when I realize that I need to visit the toilet and partake in some relief of the sit-down sort of variety. So, I go to the bathroom, enter the stall, and close and lock (uh-oh) the door.
About a minute later I hear the bathroom door open and the sound of footsteps quickly coming up to the stall. Before I can even get out a quick warning of, “Sorry, someone is in here” the door to the stall is flung open (even though I was 99.9% sure that I locked it) and I am staring up (with my pants around my ankles) at a very overweight man who appears to be in his mid to late 50’s.
Now comes the audience participation portion of this blog entry.
Welcome to, YOU MAKE THE CALL!
So, you are an overweight male in your mid to late 50’s. You walk into a public restroom, fling open the stall door, and see a surprised (but amazingly sexy) man in his late 20’s sitting on the toilet. Do you:
A) Quickly close the door while saying, “Oh, I’m sorry!”
B) Quickly close the door but say nothing due to your embarrassment of the situation compounded by the amazing sexiness of the man you just barged in on.
C) Quickly SLAM the door. Say, “Oh shoot!” and loudly let out a stream of curses while you exit the restroom
If you chose C then, YOU MADE THE CALL!
This poor man was so angry at me for being in the restroom that this was his only option I guess.
As a coda to the story: After finishing up my business in the bathroom, I begin to walk back to the cafe. While walking back to the café I walked past the gentleman and he made eye contact and then quickly (and quite angrily) looked away.
Saturday
A friend of mine (congrats Melissa) recently was married in Vegas. On Saturday afternoon they had a reception, at a hall in the Frisco Chamber of Commerce, for family and friends to celebrate this wonderful event.
After about 3 Diet Cokes (product placement) I realize I need to use the restroom. I walk to the restroom and open the door. Standing in the middle of the bathroom and directly facing the door is a small boy (who appears to be maybe three years old) wearing a comically large cowboy hat, a button-up shirt, and no pants. He has his hands on his hips and a huge smile on his face.
I stop in my tracks and for a second I wonder if I had just walked into the Black Lodge from the television show, Twin Peaks.
The kid doesn’t move or say a word so I respond with, “Hey Buckaroo” walk to the stall and pray to little baby Jesus that an overweight male in his mid to late 50’s doesn’t attempt to barge into the stall, thus making this awkward situation, even more awkward.
Friday:
After work I went to Borders to work on a paper for a class. I’m in the café, happily typing away, when I realize that I need to visit the toilet and partake in some relief of the sit-down sort of variety. So, I go to the bathroom, enter the stall, and close and lock (uh-oh) the door.
About a minute later I hear the bathroom door open and the sound of footsteps quickly coming up to the stall. Before I can even get out a quick warning of, “Sorry, someone is in here” the door to the stall is flung open (even though I was 99.9% sure that I locked it) and I am staring up (with my pants around my ankles) at a very overweight man who appears to be in his mid to late 50’s.
Now comes the audience participation portion of this blog entry.
Welcome to, YOU MAKE THE CALL!
So, you are an overweight male in your mid to late 50’s. You walk into a public restroom, fling open the stall door, and see a surprised (but amazingly sexy) man in his late 20’s sitting on the toilet. Do you:
A) Quickly close the door while saying, “Oh, I’m sorry!”
B) Quickly close the door but say nothing due to your embarrassment of the situation compounded by the amazing sexiness of the man you just barged in on.
C) Quickly SLAM the door. Say, “Oh shoot!” and loudly let out a stream of curses while you exit the restroom
If you chose C then, YOU MADE THE CALL!
This poor man was so angry at me for being in the restroom that this was his only option I guess.
As a coda to the story: After finishing up my business in the bathroom, I begin to walk back to the cafe. While walking back to the café I walked past the gentleman and he made eye contact and then quickly (and quite angrily) looked away.
Saturday
A friend of mine (congrats Melissa) recently was married in Vegas. On Saturday afternoon they had a reception, at a hall in the Frisco Chamber of Commerce, for family and friends to celebrate this wonderful event.
After about 3 Diet Cokes (product placement) I realize I need to use the restroom. I walk to the restroom and open the door. Standing in the middle of the bathroom and directly facing the door is a small boy (who appears to be maybe three years old) wearing a comically large cowboy hat, a button-up shirt, and no pants. He has his hands on his hips and a huge smile on his face.
I stop in my tracks and for a second I wonder if I had just walked into the Black Lodge from the television show, Twin Peaks.
The kid doesn’t move or say a word so I respond with, “Hey Buckaroo” walk to the stall and pray to little baby Jesus that an overweight male in his mid to late 50’s doesn’t attempt to barge into the stall, thus making this awkward situation, even more awkward.