At the movies

[hadtobegoo]

While watching the Oscars with some friends, the conversation turned to discuss the merits of the 80's classic movie, The Beastmaster. We came to the conclusion that is the perfect movie title because it tells you exactly what the movie is about. There is a guy and he is the master of beasts. Fuck the plot. Fuck the dialog. That's all you need to know compacted down to two words. Using this as a basis, I've decided that all movie titles should follow this template.

Let's start with this year's Best Picture nominees:

Crash - Race Movie or Hey, Some of my Best Friends are Black!
Brokeback Mountain - Gay Cowboys Make Love
Capote - Backstabbing Whiny Effeminate Writer
Munich - The Hulk has Revenge Issues
Good Night and Good Luck - Unfair Red Scare Dare

It's fun! Now, some classics:

Schindler's List - Jew Saver
Downfall - The Other side of Jew Saver
Thelma & Louise - Bitches Be Crazy!
Good Will Hunting - Matt and Ben's Big Ghostwritten Adventure
The Usual Suspects - Kevin Spacey Did It
Seven - Kevin Spacey Did It Again
L.A.Confidential - Kevin Spacey Didn't Do It This Time
Back to the Future - Back to the Past
Back to the Future II - Into the Future then Back to the Past then Even Further Back to the Past
Back the Future III - Back to a Past Even Further than In Into the Future then Back to the Past then Even Further Back to the Past
The Bad News Bears- Loser Misfits Win at Baseball
The Mighty Ducks - Loser Misfits Win at Hockey
The Patriot - Jingoistic Bullshit
Independence Day - Jingoistic Bullshit With Aliens
The Passion of the Christ - Good Riddance

The list goes on and on...