I'm a sucker for piano
This week has been terrible. Terrible. I've got so much work, and despite the hours I've spent in the library, I feel like I've made such little progress. Instead, the only way it will be over will be when some due date comes and goes, not when I actually finish anything. On top of that I'm sick. And I'll take the liberty to complain here, because better here where people have the option of reading than person to person where they don't, although I do enough of that anyways.
I'm not even sure if I really want to go home. I want to see my mom, but I want to see her and things be okay, which won't be happening. I want to go home so I can make some money, but I don't want to work. I want spring to come, but tonight I want it to snow more than anything. I'd like to believe that I'm as strong as some people say I am, but I'm beginning to realize thats not so true either. Everything is so relative. Life is on the fence. And I'm not digging it.
I talked to my mom the other day, shes going to spend a month or two with her brother and my aunt in Ohio. That means for the first time in my life I won't be seeing my mom for Easter. This year so far has been a constant reminder that I'm getting older, which means that so much family is getting old. It's a scary thought. I don't like having to worry about the people that only worried about me my whole life.
And, in an attempt to leave on a good note, I'll end with this. As a quick warning, this gets sort of spiritual. I couldn't have found my faith at a better time, and I honestly believe that's for a reason. Cynics would say it's because of convenience, but I do believe its a sign. The thing that I am most grateful for is that I think I've indirectly pushed my mom back in search of her faith, and she found God really holding His hand out to her. I dunno. It's hard to describe. But it's something I can't deny.
Peace.
I'm not even sure if I really want to go home. I want to see my mom, but I want to see her and things be okay, which won't be happening. I want to go home so I can make some money, but I don't want to work. I want spring to come, but tonight I want it to snow more than anything. I'd like to believe that I'm as strong as some people say I am, but I'm beginning to realize thats not so true either. Everything is so relative. Life is on the fence. And I'm not digging it.
I talked to my mom the other day, shes going to spend a month or two with her brother and my aunt in Ohio. That means for the first time in my life I won't be seeing my mom for Easter. This year so far has been a constant reminder that I'm getting older, which means that so much family is getting old. It's a scary thought. I don't like having to worry about the people that only worried about me my whole life.
And, in an attempt to leave on a good note, I'll end with this. As a quick warning, this gets sort of spiritual. I couldn't have found my faith at a better time, and I honestly believe that's for a reason. Cynics would say it's because of convenience, but I do believe its a sign. The thing that I am most grateful for is that I think I've indirectly pushed my mom back in search of her faith, and she found God really holding His hand out to her. I dunno. It's hard to describe. But it's something I can't deny.
Peace.