Bob's Rat Story (Draft)
Bob's Rat Story (draft)
Connie opened the door to her home at eight p.m. having arrived at the airport an hour earlier. She was tired from an overseas flight and somewhat concerned for her husband, a medical doctor, who had called-off from his night shift in the E.R. The neighbor had called Connie during her layover in Chicago saying the, "Doctor was yelling into the fruit tree from his upstairs window. "
The Doctor was not a man know to yell frequently, sometimes in the car at a person driving 55 in the fast lane, seldom at the television when the President said something overly ignorant, though never did the Doctor yell at anyone who would hear him.
"Bob, I am home." She left her bags on the porch for the driver. Climbing the stairs two at a time toward her husband's room Connie found Bob with his back to her, wearing only white BVD's, hands on hips in a solitary posture of disgust and rare fury. She moved to face him as he had not acknowledged her. Bob remained still, gazing pretty vacant through the open bedroom window at the fruit trees just outside. "Bob?"
"I quit smoking yesterday." He lifted a large intellect's hand and placed it gently to the small of her back. She was warm and tangible.
"Helen called to tell me you've been yelling today... at the fruit trees."
I was yelling at the rats in the trees. Not at the trees." He pointed, with his free hand, at a gray rat chewing contently on a ripe orange. It's whiskers wiggled as it adeptly maintained its balance on a tiny swaying branch.
"You had me worried." She turned to put her arm around him.
"I couldn't have known someone would call you. You would think a man could yell at some rats in peace and if Helen was so concerned she might have thought to knock on our door with a fresh pack of cigarettes?"
"Bob, can I make you a drink?"
"Please. I've had enough of rats today, they just don't take direction. It began last night while I was sleeping. The widow was open and I could hear them leaping and chewing."
"Did you close the window."
"You know I can't sleep in a closed room and that's beside the point, rats should have more consideration if they're determinded to eat my fruit from my trees. I went to the window and asked them to be quiet and they did long enough for me to go to sleep again."
"No yelling at rats? Can't have you yelling, it can't be helpful." She arrived with a Long Island for Bob.
"Thank you, it's good to have you home." Bob walked to the window again where he squinted into the late daylight. "They're back. The whole reeling ungrateful hungry mob."
Connie had mixed three sleeping pills with Bob's beverage. "Bob please lie down, let me get my shoes off, I'll give you a massage then we can switch."The concern had not left her voice though her body clearly suggested comfort.
"I don't want to do that to you tonight. It leaves contusions where someone will see and...." Bob was speaking clearly though he was again intent on the agile rats.
She had removed her shoes and coat and silently placed herself on the bed behind him. "Bob, it doesn't leave marks if you use the nylon..."
"No. I tried to sleep last night and when I did I dreamed of a gray man-sized rat chewing delicately, gently your neck and you weren't the least bit distressed when another man-sized rat dressed as a cable repairman joined in with twenty-five feet of white nylon..."
"Bob, lie down, I have a cigarette here, enough rat madness. You're having withdrawls and your anxious because I've been away with the Association. Finish your drink, come to bed, have a cigarette, and, if possible, shut the fuck up and maybe in a year or never I'll forget about the double team rat in the cable guy suit dream."