♕ |[64]| through me to some me not yet there who i suppose is you
The first time the City turned me into someone I wasn't-- still me, but a me who isn't and never could be real-- was a few months, I guess, after I first came here. I hadn't realized before then what that could be like. Believing a whole other lifetime. I remember I acted like an ass afterward. I was embarrassed about being cursed, I guess, or about being cursed and thinking I wasn't cursed. And though I didn't like to say it-- I still don't, to tell you the truth-- I was kind of jealous of my other self. The curse itself was almost nice; it was the aftermath that stung.
I've been thinking about it a lot since it happened again this month-- once to me, and to other people as well, though not necessarily the same way. I've been in the City for two years now-- it was two years in April-- and this time, it didn't bother me nearly as much. Maybe that's because I didn't feel the loss as keenly; or maybe I'm just getting used to the City, to waking up and not knowing who I am. In any case curses don't last forever. No troubles do; if I'd understood that, I guess I wouldn't be here now.
I don't mean to say we should or could just brush things aside like they don't matter... I just hope no one's been hurt too badly, with everything that's happened. Those last few, especially.
The weather's been beautiful, and I think the City's as normal as it ever is. That won't last, either, of course, which is a shame; but maybe it's better not to think about it. I think I'll walk in the park today.
I've been thinking about it a lot since it happened again this month-- once to me, and to other people as well, though not necessarily the same way. I've been in the City for two years now-- it was two years in April-- and this time, it didn't bother me nearly as much. Maybe that's because I didn't feel the loss as keenly; or maybe I'm just getting used to the City, to waking up and not knowing who I am. In any case curses don't last forever. No troubles do; if I'd understood that, I guess I wouldn't be here now.
I don't mean to say we should or could just brush things aside like they don't matter... I just hope no one's been hurt too badly, with everything that's happened. Those last few, especially.
The weather's been beautiful, and I think the City's as normal as it ever is. That won't last, either, of course, which is a shame; but maybe it's better not to think about it. I think I'll walk in the park today.