George. Jon. Steven (but sadly not Stephen). Chris Motherfucking Rock. I am having the life from hell right now, but for two minutes this made me forget all about that.
God, if Eames could get Chris Rock to call Arthur and ask Arthur out for him...
"Hello."
"Is this Arthur?"
"No."
"Stop lying, I know this is Arthur cause I got your man here saying it's you."
"My... what?"
"Look, all I'm saying is that I've got your boy Eames here and really he's a good lookin' man, for a white boy. Why are you trippin'?"
"Why am I what?"
"I just got paid twenty thousand dollars to call you up and try and get in your pants on behalf of English Muffin here. Actually, you know what? The dollar is kinda weak right now, can I get that in Euros?"
"Who the hell is this?"
"Don't worry about who the hell this is. Stay on the topic. I heard you were all about specificity. And what I'm trying to say is that your boy Eames is trying to get with you. He wants to take you home to Mom. Wants to cook you dinner and kiss your feet. This motherfucker wants to make you coffee and deal with your morning breath -- you know anybody else willing to do that?"
"I didn't--"
"Shut up, you Jude Law wannabe, I'm earning money for charity here -- Now, Arthur, Arthur, your boy, he wants to engage in mutually beneficial oral sex with you, why are you cock-blocking? Have you seen his mouth. I'd totally let him suck my cock."
"Whoever this is, I am going to track you down, you know this right?"
"What's that? Time's run out on the pay phone. Oh, yeah, look I gotta go. I'm just saying. You and Eames, fucking in the bushes, think about it."
You know, Chris Rock is pretty fucking close to Ari terrain. Interesting that.