Merlin - The Kingdom of the Blaggers (AU, Merlin/Arthur, NC-17, 3/3)
Part I
Part II
The Kingdom of the Blaggers
PENDRAGON TO BECOME AMERICAN ICON
Pendragon heir to play Captain America in IM2
Hot off of his career-making turn as a bisexual spy in Matt Damon's indie smash Los Gatos son Negros, Arthur Pendragon, the only son of legendary actor, Uther Pendragon, has been signed to pick up the shield of the iconic Marvel figure Captain America in Warner Brother's franchise-blockbuster Iron Man 2.
Pendragon, hand-picked by WB honcho Dana Gordon and Iron Man star Robert Downey Jr, will join Christian Bale in the pantheon of British stars making their mark reinterpreting American comic book heroes for the big screen. The agreement to star as Captain America also options Pendragon to launch the Captain America franchise as part of a three-picture deal.
Iron Man 2, written by director Jon Favreau and actor-turned-scribe Justin Theroux, goes into pre-production today and will start full production next month in Burbank, New York and Tokyo. Joining Downey and Pendragon are Gwyneth Paltrow, reprising her role as Pepper Potts, and Don Cheadle, who takes over the role of James Rhodes from Terrance Howard.
The Variety headline was three inches high, and the article took up three-quarters of the front page and then continued for two full columns on page 15.
Merlin read the article over three times, each time the grin on his face growing a bit more. They could've done without mentioning Uther, but the mention of Arthur's 'career-making turn' and his joining a 'pantheon of British stars' couldn't be discounted in the slightest.
Merlin folded the paper under his arm and dashed back up the stairs, two at a time. He took great pains to appear calm as he walked into their bedroom, where Arthur was still sprawled across half the mattress, sound asleep.
Merlin studied Arthur for a moment and then grabbed the duvet and yanked it off the bed. Arthur twitched, but didn't stir. Well, most of him didn't stir.
Merlin sat on the edge of the bed and ran the crease of the newspaper along the instep of Arthur's foot. Arthur twitched again. He ran the paper further up Arthur's leg, along his calf and then his knee. Merlin moved a bit further up the bed, letting the paper drift closer and closer to Arthur's groin.
"If you woke me up just to be a cocktease, you're going to be very sorry," Arthur said, cracking one eye open.
"Maybe I just wanted to give Captain America a blow job," Merlin said thoughtfully. Arthur's answering grin was blinding. Merlin carried on. "Or maybe I just thought you'd like to see your name all over the trades."
Arthur sat up abruptly. "What?"
Merlin unfolded the copy of Variety. "I'm afraid you're a star now, there's no going back," he teased, holding the paper just out of Arthur's reach.
Arthur's fingers grasped fruitlessly, until he lunged at Merlin and they both went flying off the bed and onto the floor. Merlin laughed even as Arthur straddled him and then sat on Merlin's chest stark naked and read the headlines.
Merlin eyed Arthur and then eyed Arthur's prick, which was right there and obviously in need of attention. Arthur made a strangled noise as Merlin ran a curious finger along the length of his cock.
"In a minute," Arthur promised, climbing off of Merlin. "I have to read this."
Merlin pouted at his back. "Jesus, it's started already. First, you're too busy reading your own press to have sex, and then you'll be too busy fucking your co-stars to read your own press and then I'll end up talking about how I knew you way back when you were just a modest cocksucker."
Arthur snorted and glanced up from the paper. "A five minute delay is just long enough for you to get yourself ready."
Merlin narrowed his eyes. "Get myself ready?"
Arthur sat down on the bed by the end table, opened the drawer and tossed a bottle of lube at Merlin. "We stars are very busy, we need self-lubricating boyfriends."
Merlin made a rather indescribable noise somewhere between disbelief and arousal, but he picked up the bottle anyway.
"This better be the best fuck ever," he grumbled getting to his feet.
Arthur smirked over the paper. "I'm waiting, Merlin."
Merlin hooked his fingers into his briefs to tug them down and the phone rang. They both stared at it. No one ever rang the landline. "Don't answer that," Merlin said just as Arthur picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
There was a pause, and Merlin had just enough time to worry that a deranged fan was on the other end saying god only knew what. He'd heard the stories about everything from marriage proposals to threatening to boil people's cats.
"Hello, father," Arthur said eventually.
Merlin pulled his fingers out of his pants. This was much worse than a deranged fan.
"Yes," Arthur said after several moments. "I'm well. Morgana? I saw her a few days ago, we had drinks." A pause. "Yes, her series has been picked up for another run; she's very happy. There's talk of an Emmy. She and Gwen -- yes, yes they are."
Arthur's face was perfectly impassive, which made Merlin's blood run cold. Uther never rang Arthur. Well, he rang twice a year: for birthdays and Christmas, and since Arthur had been in Argentina at Christmas, Merlin hadn't had to watch the way Arthur's face generally went from shocked to reserved to hopeful, and in most instances, to disappointed.
"We start filming next month," Arthur was saying. "There's a voice coach, and I've got to go in for fittings. The uniform is supposed to be spandex, and then there's the training. Apparently, I'm going to have to learn karate. Yes, I am. Yes, very excited."
Another pause.
"I -- that's -- thank you. I -- that means a lot to me."
Merlin could feel his eyes widening.
What on earth could Uther say that would mean anything now?
"Merlin? He's fine. Yes. Yes, he's turned out to be a very good manager."
Dear god, Uther Pendragon had asked about him?
Merlin could count the number of times he'd met Arthur's father on both hands and have fingers left over. Uther was never home to meet anyone, and he never seemed to care what Morgana and Arthur, and even Morgana's mother, did as long as they were at the right openings and dressed appropriately.
When Arthur hung up the phone, he looked completely undone.
"What did he say?" Merlin demanded. "Did he upset you? Arthur, you know you can't let him--"
"He rang to say he'd heard about the Captain America role and that he was proud of me."
"He said what?" Merlin asked rather dumbly.
"He said he thinks it's going to bring me a whole new set of opportunities that I wouldn't get otherwise."
Merlin felt rather sure that the look of shock on Arthur's face mirrored his own.
"Also," Arthur added, "he'd like to come to the premiere."
"I'll be sure to tell Lloyd," Merlin said dryly.
For the first month of Iron Man 2 shooting, a car picked up Arthur from the house at 6 a.m. and brought him back around midnight. The start of filming gave the bruises from Arthur's four-weeks of intensive karate training a chance to fade, but they were replaced by bruises from shooting action shots with people who'd been taking karate for as long as Arthur had been alive.
After the first week, Merlin made a point of having a hot bath ready for Arthur to climb into when he got home, if only to avoid Arthur's bitching about how sore he was and how much pain he was in and could Merlin help him undress and help him in the bed and pretty much do everything except wipe his arse.
However, the bruises weren't as disconcerting as Arthur's vocal exercises to work on his American accent, which made him sound like he'd stepped off the coach from England via Canada and Iowa. On three separate occasions Merlin heard Arthur running his lines in another room and thought there was a strange man in the house.
Arthur's hours didn't exactly leave a lot of time for things like conversation or sex, but Merlin made up for it by keeping the fridge stocked with beer for when Arthur got home. And after Arthur had had fifteen minutes in the bath, Merlin would bring him the beer and wash Arthur's back while he drank and made little appreciative noises.
It wasn't quite the glamorous Hollywood life that Merlin had heard so much about. It was actually much better.
Merlin didn't tend to stop by when Arthur was working. He didn't want to be a distraction -- at least more of one than Ari claimed he already was. Of course, Ari was a sheep-fucking wanker and his opinion didn't count. Then again, Arthur was normally off on location and Merlin couldn’t just pop around, but since he was shooting in Burbank, Merlin could stop by if he was in the neighbourhood.
And if Arthur was still on the set, well, Merlin could amuse himself for a bit, especially if Robert Downey Jr popped into Arthur's trailer and started regaling Merlin with tails of his decadent rise to fame (that took ten years), and how he managed to blow the whole thing on drugs and hookers and that one time that he got Ari arrested in Tijuana for impersonating a hooker.
Merlin's sides ached from laughing, and he had to wipe the tears away from his eyes. "I just -- I never thought. I mean Ari's a bastard. Are you saying that he and you, you know."
Robert -- sorry, Bob -- patted Merlin's hand. "I never fuck and tell," he declared, "but, I will tell you that he's got this birthmark in the shape of Iceland on his--"
"Sorry," Merlin interrupted loudly, trying to drown out the specifics. "But isn't Ari married?"
"To a wonderful woman," Bob confirmed. "Otherwise, Ari and I would've killed each other several times over by now."
Merlin didn't bother to hide his dubious look. "Right."
Bob smiled. "If it helps, he's only an asshole because he cares."
Bob sounded like Lloyd; Merlin had no idea what Ari did to inspire such loyalty. "I can't even imagine what he says to you," Merlin said.
Bob shrugged. "Nothing worse than when I talk about fucking his mom with a cucumber."
Merlin coughed hard, and Bob leaned across the table and clapped him on the back. "You okay?"
Robert Downey Jr was touching him. This time Merlin's cough sounded more like a wheeze. It wasn't that he fancied Bob. Not even a little bit. Even though he was hysterically funny and tiny and had these huge, luminous eyes that…
Okay, that was very gay. Even for Merlin.
The door to the trailer clattered open, and Merlin glanced over Bob's shoulder at Arthur. "I was in the neighbourhood," Merlin began with a smile.
Arthur just raised an eyebrow, and Merlin glanced up at Bob leaning over him and then back at Arthur. Oh. Oh not even.
"Jon's ready for you and Gwyneth," Arthur said to Bob.
Bob stood up and patted Merlin on the back again. "Next time, Merlin, I'll tell you about the riding crop and the army helmet."
Merlin coughed hard as Arthur smiled at Bob and Bob left.
The trailer door clattered closed behind him, and when Merlin looked up, Arthur's eyes were glittering.
Merlin blinked. "What's that look for?" he asked.
Arthur was wearing a crisp white Oxford and jeans, his hair styled perfectly so. He looked like some sort of all-American boy. Or possibly an Abercrombie & Fitch advert. Lloyd had taken great delight in introducing Merlin to the A&F catalogue.
Merlin slid out of the tiny kitchen booth and got to his feet. It took Arthur four steps to reach him. Just because Arthur had his own trailer didn’t mean it was big.
"Were you chatting up Bob?" Arthur asked curiously.
Merlin balked. "No!"
"Was he chatting you up?" Arthur crowded Merlin against the edge of the built-in table top.
Merlin just blinked. "Did you hit your head again?" Two weeks ago, there's been an accident where Arthur got assaulted by some loose scenery and he'd ended up with a mild concussion.
Arthur brushed Merlin's fringe out of his eyes, his fingers trailing along Merlin's jaw. "He fancies you, you know."
Merlin scoffed. "Well, I fancy you."
Arthur's fingers stroked the shell of Merlin's ear and Merlin shivered. Arthur pressed his thigh between Merlin's legs. "You fancy me?" he asked, his lips brushing against Merlin's ear.
Merlin groaned. "Yes."
Arthur pulled back and dropped to his knees. Merlin gaped. "Shall we see how much?" Arthur asked, busying himself with Merlin's flies.
Merlin quivered as Arthur pulled his jeans down around his ankles. "Arthur, we can't do this here," he protested, as Arthur's fingers trailed up the inside of his thigh.
Arthur gazed up at Merlin as his fingertips dragged along Merlin's hip, right at the edge of his briefs. The muscles in Merlin's backside contracted automatically.
"We -- we -- someone might come in," Merlin insisted as Arthur's fingers changed direction and began rubbing the head of Merlin's cock through his briefs.
"Then you should put on a good performance," Arthur said, his fingers petting the wet spot that had appeared on the front of Merlin's blue briefs.
Merlin made a strangled noise and gripped the edge of the table; Arthur just gave him a saucy grin and leaned forward, his tongue licking the growing wet spot. Merlin's head went back and he stared at the ceiling of the trailer. It had water spots. It had -
Merlin whimpered when Arthur's hand cupped his balls, his thumb stroking along Merlin's cock as he continued to lick Merlin through the damp cotton.
"Arthur, please," Merlin pleaded.
He looked down when he felt Arthur's fingers hooking into the waistband of his briefs, Arthur's eyes were on him when he paused and slid one hand under Merlin's shirt and up his chest. Merlin could feel his lungs growing tight, and he curled into Arthur's fingers as they found his right nipple and plucked it hard.
"Fuck."
Arthur smiled wickedly. "Eventually." His fingers continued to rub and twist Merlin's nipple as Merlin writhed under the assault. When Arthur finally moved his hand away Merlin didn't know whether to be grateful or despondent.
But then Arthur was pulling Merlin's briefs down to his knees and it didn't matter. Merlin's cock hung in the space between them, wet and swollen, and Merlin's heart stopped briefly when Arthur blew lightly across the head.
"I -- you -- Jesus, please," Merlin babbled.
Arthur leaned in and leisurely licked a stripe along the side of Merlin's cock. Arthur's tongue was wet and hot, and Merlin immediately turned his hips in the direction of Arthur's mouth, but Arthur pulled away. The next minute he wrapped a hand around Merlin's prick and began stroking it lightly. Merlin's fingers tried to dig into the table behind him as Arthur's mouth closed over his balls, sucking on one and then the other.
Merlin moaned loudly, his noises cut off only by Arthur's fingers brushing his lips. He opened his mouth and sucked on three of Arthur's fingers eagerly, wrapping his tongue around the length and flicking over short fingernails. When Arthur fucked Merlin's mouth with his fingers, the pads of his fingers stroked Merlin's tongue. Merlin made sure to bite down softly every time Arthur pulled out and lick when he pushed back in.
Arthur watched Merlin intently, his eyes dark as he abandoned all other activities to watch his fingers in Merlin's mouth. Merlin made a disappointed moan when Arthur pulled his hand away for good, but then he wrapped wet fingers around Merlin's cock and jerked him off. Merlin approved of this loudly.
Arthur's voice was unsteady when he spoke. "When this is over, I'm taking you home and fucking you until you can't move."
Merlin made a noise of agreement. It probably sounded like he was dying.
And then Arthur slid his hand down to the base of Merlin's cock and began sucking on the head, and Merlin was pretty sure he was dying.
Merlin lifted a hand from the table to thread it through Arthur's hair, to hold Arthur still while he fucked that perfect mouth, because Arthur really had the perfect mouth for sucking cock.
Arthur closed his eyes as Merlin pushed his head down further, and Merlin couldn't look away from Arthur's mouth sliding up and down wetly, indecently. He could feel the saliva running between his legs, and then Arthur's fingers were there, spreading the slickness, sliding inside of him and Merlin decided now was an excellent time to come.
Arthur swallowed and coughed and then swallowed more. Merlin collapsed ungainly on Arthur's lap and tried to return the favour, but Arthur held his wrists apologetically. "Wardrobe," he said by way of explanation.
Merlin just narrowed his eyes and licked at Arthur's swollen, used lips. "I think wardrobe is the least of your problems considering I just fucked your mouth," he said.
Arthur shook his head ruefully. "Good point."
Gwen was already seated when Merlin walked up to the hostess at Lulu's. Between Arthur working on IM2 and Morgana going into the second series of Incubus/Succubus, they hadn't had as much time to spend together, but they sent lots of text messages, which basically came down to "Brunch/lunch/drinks today?" "No, can't today I've got to do X for Y." "Oh, right, tomorrow?" "Yes, definitely tomorrow." And then it would repeat.
"You're here!" Gwen stood up as Merlin approached the table, a huge grin on her face.
"Yes, I'm here. You act as though you never see me," Merlin mocked, giving Gwen a hug before taking his seat.
"Oh, I see you all the time," Gwen teased. "Your face pops up on my mobile every time you text me to tell me you're cancelling."
"I'm not the one who cancelled last week because Morgana was ill."
"She had the stomach flu!" Gwen protested.
"And you just had to nurse her back to health, then?"
It wasn't Merlin's imagination that Gwen flushed, and he grinned knowingly. Picking up the menu, Merlin made a show of looking it over. He didn't really need to since he was having the same thing he always did. Eggs, bacon and potatoes. What they really needed to serve was beans on toast.
"So, were you ever going to tell me about you and Morgana, or was I supposed to suss it out for myself?" he asked, folding up the menu and putting it back on the table.
Gwen's mouth opened and closed, nothing came out.
Merlin took a sip of his water and waited. "I have all day," he said, sitting back and folding his arms.
"It just happened," Gwen blurted out.
"Yes, I suppose living together will do that to you," Merlin said thoughtfully.
"Well, it happened to you and Arthur," Gwen protested.
"No, that happened before we were living together," Merlin corrected. "He fell and landed on my prick one day and that was pretty much it."
Gwen focussed at something over Merlin's shoulder, and Merlin reached out and patted her hand. "You're happy?"
Gwen bit her lip. "Yeah."
"Then that's all that matters."
Gwen sighed. "I'd meant to tell you."
"But I was too busy wiping Arthur's arse, I know; I'm a horrible friend."
"I never said that."
"It's true. I've gone and made you gay too. If your dad were still alive, he'd be appalled."
Gwen laughed wryly. "Well, he always did prefer Morgana to you."
"See," Merlin said, "so, really it's all for the best then. Now you too can be a kept Hollywood wife."
Gwen just laughed.
The Iron Man 2 wrap party was thrown at Yamashiro in the Hollywood Hills. The restaurant-cum-nightclub was at the very top of a drive that Excalibur would never have been able to make. The drive up the winding hills alone made Merlin a bit dizzy, or it was possibly the two bottles of champagne they'd managed to put away in the last 45 minutes.
Merlin was wearing a proper suit, the stiffness of which seemed to make him more inclined to drink, while Arthur was wearing a black jumper and matching trousers that did nothing for Merlin's ability to concentrate on the fact that this party was going to be work.
He looked up when Gwen poked him in the side and grinned. Her hair was pinned up and she wore a bright yellow sleeveless dress that if he were a bit more heterosexual would've done great things for his hormones. Well, if Merlin were a bit more straight and Morgana wasn't on Gwen's other side, clasping their fingers together.
When the Town Car pulled up to the entrance, Merlin climbed out of the car behind Gwen. As Gwen and Morgana took the stairs ahead of him, he paused at the bottom of the driveway to take in the city views.
You could literally see all of Los Angeles from the restaurant parking lot. At night you couldn't see all the smog, and the city looked as though it went on forever in a sea of yellow and white lights. It was rather beautiful; clearly it was yet another Angeleno façade to fool the uninformed.
Merlin knew better now.
There was a slight breeze this far away from the busy streets, and the wind lifted Merlin's fringe away from his forehead and fractionally lessened his stressed out state. Not that Merlin had anything to worry over, it was just a party -- just a few hundred people who had worked on the movie and held Arthur's career in their hands.
No, nothing to worry over at all.
Arthur bumped his shoulder. "Are you going to stay out here all night?"
Merlin's mouth twisted at the corners. "You don't have to rush me; I know your public awaits."
Arthur raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the party. "C'mon, I know Bob's dying to chat you up shamelessly again."
Merlin coloured. "I have no idea what you're referring to."
Arthur scoffed and tugged Merlin towards the stars. "Did you know it was possible to have an ear fetish?" he tossed over his shoulder.
Merlin stumbled over a step. "Are you saying you have an ear fetish?"
"Bob thinks so," Arthur replied casually. "He seems to think I use them to steer you."
"Sorry?" Merlin grabbed for Arthur's wrist and wound up with his fingers tangled in Arthur's belt loops.
Arthur looked startled when Merlin tugged him backwards. "Are you telling me you've been telling Robert Downey Jr about our sex life?" Merlin hissed as they stepped inside the restaurant, which was designed to imitate a rather large Geisha house. There were people milling around everywhere and Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling, which was rather incongruous with the Geisha theme.
Arthur's eyes went wide as they stopped in the atrium and then he laughed uproariously. "Oh my god, Merlin, I was winding you up, calm down."
"Arthur! Baby! How're you feeling? Feeling like money? Feeling like an Oscar and some Golden Globes? Not that the Globes are good for anything besides dick polishing and using as a toilet paper holder, but you know it's damn shiny, right? I know the Brits love their gold, that's why you robbed all those third world countries, right?"
Merlin rolled his eyes as he extricated himself from Arthur and turned around to see Ari standing three feet away with an absolutely gorgeous woman in a green dress and heels that let her tower over Ari.
"Ari!" the woman scolded.
"Sorry, baby," Ari said in a tone that let Merlin know he wasn't sorry at all.
Merlin shook his head as Ari hugged Arthur profusely. "Seriously, Arthur, everything good? Merlin sucking your cock on the regular?"
Arthur snorted. "I'm fine, Ari. We're both fine."
Ari slung an arm across Arthur's shoulders and then turned to Merlin gleefully. "You got those knee pads handy, shortbread? Cause if he's happy, I'm happy, but if his ass ain't happy, I'm coming after your ass."
Merlin stepped directly into Ari's face and stared him down. Merlin hadn't even realised he had at least two inches on Ari. The power of a brazen façade went far in this town.
"Ari, you keep talking about my arse as though you've been looking at it a lot. Is there something you want to tell me?"
Ari stared for a minute, and then grinned toothily and slung his other arm around Merlin's shoulders. "Baby, this is Arthur, my latest Cash Cow, and this is his girlfriend, Merlin."
"I am not his girlfriend," Merlin hissed, as a force of habit. He could feel Arthur's eyes boring into the side of his head.
The woman extended her hand. "Don't mind my husband, Merlin; he always gets overexcited when I let him out to play with Robert."
Merlin very deliberately did not look at Arthur as he shook Mrs. Ari's hand. "It's lovely to meet you," he said. "I'm sorry about your husband."
Mrs. Ari grinned. "It's okay. I've gotten used to it."
Ari snorted. "That's nice. You two bond over the sales at Fred Segal, I'm taking Arthur around to shake hands and kiss ass."
Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but said nothing at the warning look from Arthur.
Ari slapped Merlin on the arse as he led Arthur away, and Merlin didn't bother to hide his indignation.
Mrs. Ari shook her head and snagged two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter. She offered one to Merlin. "Ari tells me you've been Arthur's driving force," she said conversationally. "You must be very proud."
Merlin took the champagne by rote. "I'm sorry, but are you telling me that Ari's given me credit for something?"
Mrs. Ari's mouth twitched at the corners. "He says you two are very devoted to each other."
"Not to belabour the point, but could you go back to the bit where Ari gave me credit for something?"
Mrs. Ari laughed. "Is he really that bad at the office?"
Merlin gave her a wry look.
Mrs. Ari laughed. "I know he can be a bit much, but he really does care about his clients. Once Ari thinks you're worth something, he'll go to the ends of the earth for you."
Merlin continued to look dubious. Mrs. Ari smiled. "The fact that Ari asked Matt and Robert to take Arthur onto their projects means he believes in him. A lot. Ari likes to keep things in the family. I'd expect that Arthur will be asked to do something with Don Cheadle or George next. Maybe Shia, if we can keep him out of trouble."
Merlin cocked his head to the side. "Shia LaBeouf?"
Mrs. Ari gave him a rueful look. "Shia could use someone like you in his life I suspect. If only to keep the DUIs to a minimum."
"Merlin, we've been looking for you everywhere," a female voice berated from behind Merlin, and when he turned, Morgana and Gwen were standing there with matching grins and matching pink drinks.
Merlin smiled ruefully. "Mrs. Ari, this is Morgana Fay, Arthur's sister and --"
"Morgana," Mrs. Ari said smoothly. "I'm so sorry I couldn't make the premiere party of Incubus/Succubus earlier this year, but our youngest, Jonah, picked that particular night to get the chicken pox."
Morgana smiled. "Ari told me; it's lovely to meet you, finally." Morgana wrapped her arm around Gwen's waist and pushed her forward slightly. "This is my girlfriend, Gwen."
Gwen's smile threatened to split her face in half. Merlin could understand; it was always nice to be acknowledged for what you were. Or weren't. "It's very nice to meet you," Gwen said politely.
Mrs. Ari cocked her head to the side. "Well, I know all about you, Morgana, because I watch your show religiously, so tell me, Gwen -- are you an actor too? You certainly have the look for it."
Gwen laughed. "No, Merlin and I decided that one actor each was more than enough."
Merlin grinned. "We're working on the Hollywood spouse angle."
Mrs. Ari raised her glass to them. "It's not a bad job if you can get it."
"I'm actually at my wits end with Morgana working all the time," Gwen confessed. "I'd really like to do some volunteer work or find a job of some sort, but the visa issue is a nightmare."
Mrs. Ari nodded thoughtfully. "I think you and I should have lunch, Gwen," she said. "I think I might be able to help you on both counts. How do you feel about charity work?"
Gwen let Mrs. Ari lead her towards one of the tables to talk, and Morgana stared after them in shock. "Did Ari's wife just steal my girlfriend?"
Merlin shook his head. "Everyone really is gay in this town, aren't they?"
Robert Downey Jr was chatting up Merlin while his wife was standing ten feet away. It was the most surreal experience of Merlin's life.
"Merlin, the ears, I love the ears. They're very distinctive." Robert reached out and then stopped himself. "I'm not allowed to touch the ears, I know. Arthur's very proprietary about that."
"Arthur's proprietary about what?"
"You," Robert said as though it were the most obvious thing ever. "I mean I asked him, you know, since we're actors, and this is L.A., how open your relationship was, and I got the impression that he might choke me. Do you think he'd choke me? Because that might make for really good sexual tension when we do The Avengers movie."
Merlin took another sip of the gin and tonic that had magically appeared on the table for him and stared. Openly.
"You're giving me that look though," Bob prattled on. "I know that look. That look is either I'm so drunk I'm going to fall over any minute or we should go in the bushes and have sex right now."
Merlin blinked as Bob learned right into his personal space. He really did have obscenely long eyelashes. No one could blame Merlin for --
"You know I'm just messing with you, right?" Robert said. "I mean if this was ten years ago, I probably would be dragging you in the bathroom right now by your ears, but I'm reformed, and Arthur is bigger than me and might actually kick my ass if I keep looking at you -- hello there, Captain America."
Merlin turned his head just as Arthur dropped down on the chaise lounge next to him, except Arthur didn't sit down next him as much as he practically sat on him.
Arthur's mouth lifted at one corner. "Bob, what've you been saying to Merlin? I've been watching you two across the room for the last ten minutes and I've never seen Merlin so still in his entire life."
Merlin went to protest and then realised that was probably true. Robert really was just that fascinating. Not that Arthur wasn't that fascinating as well, but that was different.
Merlin stiffened for a brief second when Arthur leaned back and stretched his arm along the back of the chaise, his fingers brushing against Merlin's shoulder, and then he looked around and realised that nobody was watching. That truly, nobody cared, despite Ari's wariness. This was their life now. He could be Arthur's partner, or whatever they wanted to call it, and it would be fine.
"Why the fuck are you upsetting my Cash Cow?" Ari's voice broke through Merlin's reverie. "I've told you about hitting on the jailbait. How am I going to keep your franchise going when you can't keep it in your pants for five minutes?! Does your wife know about this?"
Robert gave Ari a lazy grin. "Ari, if you don't stop bitching like a jealous girlfriend, people are going to start talking again."
"Oh, like people don't talk about us already!" Ari said huffily.
Robert face was all amusement. "Ari, baby, what's wrong? Are you upset because I haven't been paying enough attention to you?" he said, getting to his feet. "Don't be like this, you know yours is the only dick --"
Robert's words were muffled by Ari's hand over his mouth. "One more word, Downey, just fucking one and I swear I'm telling the women on you."
Robert did something that caused Ari to yelp in disgust, and then Robert was marching Ari away, and Merlin was left squished next to Arthur in a corner of the restaurant.
He sighed and sunk back into the cushions, and by extension, Arthur's arm.
Merlin's entire body felt warm from the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed, and it seemed perfectly natural to turn into Arthur's body and rest his head on Arthur's forearm.
"Having fun?" Arthur asked, his diversion clear by his tone.
Merlin smiled and nodded. "You know, it's not so bad if you take away the horrible agents, the degrading cattle calls, the totally unrealistic body expectations, the scary fans and the stupid Z-List hierarchy."
Arthur laughed. Merlin wrinkled his nose when Arthur leaned in. "So, you know that three-picture option they had me for?"
Merlin's neck cracked ominously when he sat up abruptly. "Had you for?" he parroted.
Arthur's mouth twitched. "I stand corrected: have me for."
Merlin smacked him on the arm. "Don't scare me like that, fucking hell."
Arthur chuckled. "I'm trying to tell you that they've green-lit the movies, you arse. Ari and I just spent twenty minutes with Dana Gordon, and she's in love with the dailies, so they're fast-tracking The Avengers and Captain America. We start shooting as soon as Jon and Justin have the scripts ready."
Merlin's heart got stuck in his throat, and he bit his lip.
So, this was what being a huge fucking success felt like: like you were going to be sick. Or pass out. Or start dancing on the table. Or all three, but not necessarily in that order.
Arthur grinned and rubbed his thumb along Merlin's jaw line. "So, Mr. Emrys," he continued, "the pressing question now is, will you be my date to the premiere of Iron Man 2?"
Merlin could feel his eyes widening. "Are you -- can we -- are you sure about this?"
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I buy you a house, and now, you ask me if I'm sure?"
"I didn't ask you to buy me a house!" Merlin protested weakly.
"I bought us a house," Arthur corrected. "Which, to me, means I'm in it. Are you in it too?"
"It?"
"Us," Arthur clarified.
Merlin snorted. "I was in 'it' as you so eloquently put it, the day I flew over here to save your pathetic arse from the soap opera vortex of suck."
Arthur chuckled. "I'm destined to be a big star. You said so yourself."
Merlin gaped. "I said that one time! It was uni! I was slurring and pissed!" Jesus, he made an arse of himself one time at the pub and nobody ever forgot it just because he'd also picked that night to moon half the room and mention something about destiny.
"You said we were destined too," Arthur reminded him
"Did I mention the bit where I was pissed?" Merlin asked.
Arthur shoved Merlin lightly, but wound up rubbing his fingers along Merlin's neck.
"You know Ari's going to piss himself," Merlin said, leaning into the touch.
Arthur winked. "Yes, well, if you're good, I’ll even let you take photos."
Epilogue
'Epic' was the only word that came to mind when Merlin thought of the Iron Man 2 premiere. Robert and his wife. Ari and Mrs. Ari. Matt Damon and his wife. Don and his wife and George Clooney. Gwyneth and Chris Martin. Will Smith and Jada. Morgana and Gwen. His mum and his Uncle Gaius. Morgana's mum and Uther.
The list of attendees just went on and on and on. And they had all sat in the theatre and watched Arthur launch himself onto the A-List, while Arthur had spent the entire 112 minutes whispering in Merlin's ear about how much he wanted a pint and some chips and a blow job. Merlin had squirmed in the bespoke tuxedo that Arthur had forced him to have made and tried to focus on the fact that in Hollywood 'subtext' was subtext for 'They're doing it, we just can't show it to you on screen or we won't get the PG-13 rating we need.'
After the screening, everyone moved en masse to a poolside party at the Beverly Hills Hotel, which reminded Merlin a lot of Uther's place in the Hollywood Hills with its old school opulence.
Sometimes it was possible to just have too much money.
Once again, Arthur had been whisked away to talk business and make nice with the various studio heads and their underlings. Merlin had two film premieres under his belt at this point, and he found himself amazed that anybody would consider them fun. They were nothing but fucking work. Ari even had Lloyd dragging Merlin around to meet all the other up and coming young stars and their managers.
After two hours of this nonsense, Merlin had had enough. He went in search of Arthur and found him standing outside of a cabana, talking with his father. Merlin thought about what he was going to say for the entire eleven seconds it took him to stalk across the patio to the rescue.
"Everything all right here?" Merlin asked, interrupting their conversation.
Arthur looked slightly startled, but his grin was perfectly genuine. "Father, you remember Merlin," he said.
"Of course," Uther said. "It's good to see you again, Merlin."
Merlin crossed his arms defensively. "Mr. Pendragon."
Uther laughed. "Come now, Merlin, I think you can call me Uther after all this time. You're practically family."
Merlin's arms fell to his sides. "I, uh, yes. It's good to see you too, Uther."
Merlin felt a bit ill.
Uther's smile was all regal condescension. "I was just telling Arthur that the RSC is thinking of doing Hamlet next year, and that, if his schedule permitted, he might be interested in the role."
Merlin turned his head to Arthur for confirmation, and Arthur just raised an eyebrow.
Merlin could only assume the apocalypse would be following shortly.
The sun was just coming up as a limousine dropped Merlin and Arthur off at home several hours later. Merlin's jacket was balled up under his arm, and he dropped it on the ground by mistake as he fumbled with the keys to the front door.
He let Arthur deal with the security alarm as he tried to extricate himself from his tuxedo and climb the stairs at the same time. He tripped over his shoes, his socks and the jacket which he abandoned on the railing. By the time he reached the bedroom, he'd divested himself of his briefs and collapsed on top of the duvet rather than climbing under it. Several minutes later, he heard a soft breath right before Arthur collapsed on the bed next to him, but mostly on him.
Arthur's breathing rustled Merlin's hair as Arthur exhaled as though he'd been holding his breath all night long. It was possible he had.
"Being a star is hard work," Merlin said conversationally. "I'm glad it's you and not me."
Arthur smacked Merlin lightly on the arse. "If I'm going, you're coming with me."
Merlin snorted into the duvet. Arthur was heavy but he was warm, and Merlin was just drifting off to sleep when the phone rang.
"No," Arthur said.
"It could be important," Merlin posited. It could also be a deranged fan, and it would be better if Merlin ran interference and delivered the threats of GBH on their behalf.
"No, Merlin," Arthur said as Merlin stretched out for the portable phone.
Arthur just sighed as Merlin answered. "Hello?"
"Wake up, homos!" Ari's voice shouted down the line. "You think just because you're about to have a blockbuster picture that you can spend the day sucking cock? Fuck that noise! You've gotta strike while that motherfucker is hot and nobody knows if you'll tank. I've got this movie that I know--"
"We're on holiday, Ari," Arthur called.
"Yes," Merlin reiterated, "what he said."
"The hell you are," Ari protested. "Sam Mendes wants you for this picture he's doing with his baby mama, Kate Winslet. It's a period piece; I know gays love that shit."
Merlin sighed as Arthur shifted on top of him. It was a sad day when they were too knackered for sex. Arthur's fingers danced along Merlin's ribs. "It's Sam Mendes," he said, turning his head when Arthur bit his earlobe. "And it's got Kate Winslet."
"I heard," Arthur said. "What's it called?"
"What's it called?" Merlin repeated.
Ari paused for effect.
"Well," Merlin prodded.
"Camelot," Ari said gleefully. "It's called fucking Camelot."
Merlin could feel Arthur chuckling against his neck; Arthur in a movie about King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table and his wizard, Merlin. How droll.
Merlin disconnected the call and tossed the phone onto the floor with a clatter.
"Ari's not going to like that," Arthur said, mouthing the nape of Merlin's neck.
"Fuck Ari," Merlin said around a yawn.
Arthur made a noncommittal noise but rubbed his cock against Merlin's backside suggestively. "How about you fuck me first, and then we deal with Ari?"
Merlin thought this over. "Am I going to get to sleep at any point today?"
"You're turning down sex for sleep?" Arthur's tone said it all.
"Just an hour," Merlin promised. "Maybe two."
"Are you negotiating, Merlin?"
"Forty-five minutes?"
"No."
"Thirty?"
"And a blow job."
"Dear god," Merlin sighed. "I've become someone who has to make a deal just to get some sleep."
"I know. It's very Hollywood of you."
Merlin turned his head, so he could see Arthur. "Please don't ever insult me that way again."
Arthur's eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed.
"Seriously though, it's not so bad here, is it?" Arthur asked eventually.
"You're here," Merlin said. "I'll sort out the rest."
Arthur blinked. "Really?"
Merlin shrugged as much as he could with Arthur lying on him. "Well, it's destiny, right? No point in fighting it."
Arthur yawned and stretched out over Merlin, his cheek resting on Merlin's shoulder. "Pretty much."
Merlin nodded around an answering yawn. "Yeah, so I've heard."
-end-
I can't really put into words a) how much fucking work this story was (a fuck load) b) how long it took to write (too long) c) how much time was spent on it (too much) or d) how much i enjoyed it (big heaping loads). What I can say is that it never ever would have even been conceptualized without sparky77, who poked and prodded and then when I was folding said, "OMG, took you long enough!" Thank you for your unwavering cheerleading, support, beta work and just listening to me whinge. I hope this is everything you wanted and much more.
It takes a seriously awesome person to open an email (or more appropriately a series of e-mails) that say, "Hey, will you beta this story for me that's going to be like 20 page... err, 30. No, wait, 40. Okay, 45. No. um, 50? Yeah, 50, def - GODDAMN, IT'S 73 PAGES!" And say, yeah, all right. lazlet is that person, and she is made of win, and do not be trying to nick her from me either. I will totally cut you if you do.
Ladies, thank you for your unyielding support. You've made this story everything I could ever hope for and more.
Part II
The Kingdom of the Blaggers
PENDRAGON TO BECOME AMERICAN ICON
Pendragon heir to play Captain America in IM2
Hot off of his career-making turn as a bisexual spy in Matt Damon's indie smash Los Gatos son Negros, Arthur Pendragon, the only son of legendary actor, Uther Pendragon, has been signed to pick up the shield of the iconic Marvel figure Captain America in Warner Brother's franchise-blockbuster Iron Man 2.
Pendragon, hand-picked by WB honcho Dana Gordon and Iron Man star Robert Downey Jr, will join Christian Bale in the pantheon of British stars making their mark reinterpreting American comic book heroes for the big screen. The agreement to star as Captain America also options Pendragon to launch the Captain America franchise as part of a three-picture deal.
Iron Man 2, written by director Jon Favreau and actor-turned-scribe Justin Theroux, goes into pre-production today and will start full production next month in Burbank, New York and Tokyo. Joining Downey and Pendragon are Gwyneth Paltrow, reprising her role as Pepper Potts, and Don Cheadle, who takes over the role of James Rhodes from Terrance Howard.
The Variety headline was three inches high, and the article took up three-quarters of the front page and then continued for two full columns on page 15.
Merlin read the article over three times, each time the grin on his face growing a bit more. They could've done without mentioning Uther, but the mention of Arthur's 'career-making turn' and his joining a 'pantheon of British stars' couldn't be discounted in the slightest.
Merlin folded the paper under his arm and dashed back up the stairs, two at a time. He took great pains to appear calm as he walked into their bedroom, where Arthur was still sprawled across half the mattress, sound asleep.
Merlin studied Arthur for a moment and then grabbed the duvet and yanked it off the bed. Arthur twitched, but didn't stir. Well, most of him didn't stir.
Merlin sat on the edge of the bed and ran the crease of the newspaper along the instep of Arthur's foot. Arthur twitched again. He ran the paper further up Arthur's leg, along his calf and then his knee. Merlin moved a bit further up the bed, letting the paper drift closer and closer to Arthur's groin.
"If you woke me up just to be a cocktease, you're going to be very sorry," Arthur said, cracking one eye open.
"Maybe I just wanted to give Captain America a blow job," Merlin said thoughtfully. Arthur's answering grin was blinding. Merlin carried on. "Or maybe I just thought you'd like to see your name all over the trades."
Arthur sat up abruptly. "What?"
Merlin unfolded the copy of Variety. "I'm afraid you're a star now, there's no going back," he teased, holding the paper just out of Arthur's reach.
Arthur's fingers grasped fruitlessly, until he lunged at Merlin and they both went flying off the bed and onto the floor. Merlin laughed even as Arthur straddled him and then sat on Merlin's chest stark naked and read the headlines.
Merlin eyed Arthur and then eyed Arthur's prick, which was right there and obviously in need of attention. Arthur made a strangled noise as Merlin ran a curious finger along the length of his cock.
"In a minute," Arthur promised, climbing off of Merlin. "I have to read this."
Merlin pouted at his back. "Jesus, it's started already. First, you're too busy reading your own press to have sex, and then you'll be too busy fucking your co-stars to read your own press and then I'll end up talking about how I knew you way back when you were just a modest cocksucker."
Arthur snorted and glanced up from the paper. "A five minute delay is just long enough for you to get yourself ready."
Merlin narrowed his eyes. "Get myself ready?"
Arthur sat down on the bed by the end table, opened the drawer and tossed a bottle of lube at Merlin. "We stars are very busy, we need self-lubricating boyfriends."
Merlin made a rather indescribable noise somewhere between disbelief and arousal, but he picked up the bottle anyway.
"This better be the best fuck ever," he grumbled getting to his feet.
Arthur smirked over the paper. "I'm waiting, Merlin."
Merlin hooked his fingers into his briefs to tug them down and the phone rang. They both stared at it. No one ever rang the landline. "Don't answer that," Merlin said just as Arthur picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
There was a pause, and Merlin had just enough time to worry that a deranged fan was on the other end saying god only knew what. He'd heard the stories about everything from marriage proposals to threatening to boil people's cats.
"Hello, father," Arthur said eventually.
Merlin pulled his fingers out of his pants. This was much worse than a deranged fan.
"Yes," Arthur said after several moments. "I'm well. Morgana? I saw her a few days ago, we had drinks." A pause. "Yes, her series has been picked up for another run; she's very happy. There's talk of an Emmy. She and Gwen -- yes, yes they are."
Arthur's face was perfectly impassive, which made Merlin's blood run cold. Uther never rang Arthur. Well, he rang twice a year: for birthdays and Christmas, and since Arthur had been in Argentina at Christmas, Merlin hadn't had to watch the way Arthur's face generally went from shocked to reserved to hopeful, and in most instances, to disappointed.
"We start filming next month," Arthur was saying. "There's a voice coach, and I've got to go in for fittings. The uniform is supposed to be spandex, and then there's the training. Apparently, I'm going to have to learn karate. Yes, I am. Yes, very excited."
Another pause.
"I -- that's -- thank you. I -- that means a lot to me."
Merlin could feel his eyes widening.
What on earth could Uther say that would mean anything now?
"Merlin? He's fine. Yes. Yes, he's turned out to be a very good manager."
Dear god, Uther Pendragon had asked about him?
Merlin could count the number of times he'd met Arthur's father on both hands and have fingers left over. Uther was never home to meet anyone, and he never seemed to care what Morgana and Arthur, and even Morgana's mother, did as long as they were at the right openings and dressed appropriately.
When Arthur hung up the phone, he looked completely undone.
"What did he say?" Merlin demanded. "Did he upset you? Arthur, you know you can't let him--"
"He rang to say he'd heard about the Captain America role and that he was proud of me."
"He said what?" Merlin asked rather dumbly.
"He said he thinks it's going to bring me a whole new set of opportunities that I wouldn't get otherwise."
Merlin felt rather sure that the look of shock on Arthur's face mirrored his own.
"Also," Arthur added, "he'd like to come to the premiere."
"I'll be sure to tell Lloyd," Merlin said dryly.
For the first month of Iron Man 2 shooting, a car picked up Arthur from the house at 6 a.m. and brought him back around midnight. The start of filming gave the bruises from Arthur's four-weeks of intensive karate training a chance to fade, but they were replaced by bruises from shooting action shots with people who'd been taking karate for as long as Arthur had been alive.
After the first week, Merlin made a point of having a hot bath ready for Arthur to climb into when he got home, if only to avoid Arthur's bitching about how sore he was and how much pain he was in and could Merlin help him undress and help him in the bed and pretty much do everything except wipe his arse.
However, the bruises weren't as disconcerting as Arthur's vocal exercises to work on his American accent, which made him sound like he'd stepped off the coach from England via Canada and Iowa. On three separate occasions Merlin heard Arthur running his lines in another room and thought there was a strange man in the house.
Arthur's hours didn't exactly leave a lot of time for things like conversation or sex, but Merlin made up for it by keeping the fridge stocked with beer for when Arthur got home. And after Arthur had had fifteen minutes in the bath, Merlin would bring him the beer and wash Arthur's back while he drank and made little appreciative noises.
It wasn't quite the glamorous Hollywood life that Merlin had heard so much about. It was actually much better.
Merlin didn't tend to stop by when Arthur was working. He didn't want to be a distraction -- at least more of one than Ari claimed he already was. Of course, Ari was a sheep-fucking wanker and his opinion didn't count. Then again, Arthur was normally off on location and Merlin couldn’t just pop around, but since he was shooting in Burbank, Merlin could stop by if he was in the neighbourhood.
And if Arthur was still on the set, well, Merlin could amuse himself for a bit, especially if Robert Downey Jr popped into Arthur's trailer and started regaling Merlin with tails of his decadent rise to fame (that took ten years), and how he managed to blow the whole thing on drugs and hookers and that one time that he got Ari arrested in Tijuana for impersonating a hooker.
Merlin's sides ached from laughing, and he had to wipe the tears away from his eyes. "I just -- I never thought. I mean Ari's a bastard. Are you saying that he and you, you know."
Robert -- sorry, Bob -- patted Merlin's hand. "I never fuck and tell," he declared, "but, I will tell you that he's got this birthmark in the shape of Iceland on his--"
"Sorry," Merlin interrupted loudly, trying to drown out the specifics. "But isn't Ari married?"
"To a wonderful woman," Bob confirmed. "Otherwise, Ari and I would've killed each other several times over by now."
Merlin didn't bother to hide his dubious look. "Right."
Bob smiled. "If it helps, he's only an asshole because he cares."
Bob sounded like Lloyd; Merlin had no idea what Ari did to inspire such loyalty. "I can't even imagine what he says to you," Merlin said.
Bob shrugged. "Nothing worse than when I talk about fucking his mom with a cucumber."
Merlin coughed hard, and Bob leaned across the table and clapped him on the back. "You okay?"
Robert Downey Jr was touching him. This time Merlin's cough sounded more like a wheeze. It wasn't that he fancied Bob. Not even a little bit. Even though he was hysterically funny and tiny and had these huge, luminous eyes that…
Okay, that was very gay. Even for Merlin.
The door to the trailer clattered open, and Merlin glanced over Bob's shoulder at Arthur. "I was in the neighbourhood," Merlin began with a smile.
Arthur just raised an eyebrow, and Merlin glanced up at Bob leaning over him and then back at Arthur. Oh. Oh not even.
"Jon's ready for you and Gwyneth," Arthur said to Bob.
Bob stood up and patted Merlin on the back again. "Next time, Merlin, I'll tell you about the riding crop and the army helmet."
Merlin coughed hard as Arthur smiled at Bob and Bob left.
The trailer door clattered closed behind him, and when Merlin looked up, Arthur's eyes were glittering.
Merlin blinked. "What's that look for?" he asked.
Arthur was wearing a crisp white Oxford and jeans, his hair styled perfectly so. He looked like some sort of all-American boy. Or possibly an Abercrombie & Fitch advert. Lloyd had taken great delight in introducing Merlin to the A&F catalogue.
Merlin slid out of the tiny kitchen booth and got to his feet. It took Arthur four steps to reach him. Just because Arthur had his own trailer didn’t mean it was big.
"Were you chatting up Bob?" Arthur asked curiously.
Merlin balked. "No!"
"Was he chatting you up?" Arthur crowded Merlin against the edge of the built-in table top.
Merlin just blinked. "Did you hit your head again?" Two weeks ago, there's been an accident where Arthur got assaulted by some loose scenery and he'd ended up with a mild concussion.
Arthur brushed Merlin's fringe out of his eyes, his fingers trailing along Merlin's jaw. "He fancies you, you know."
Merlin scoffed. "Well, I fancy you."
Arthur's fingers stroked the shell of Merlin's ear and Merlin shivered. Arthur pressed his thigh between Merlin's legs. "You fancy me?" he asked, his lips brushing against Merlin's ear.
Merlin groaned. "Yes."
Arthur pulled back and dropped to his knees. Merlin gaped. "Shall we see how much?" Arthur asked, busying himself with Merlin's flies.
Merlin quivered as Arthur pulled his jeans down around his ankles. "Arthur, we can't do this here," he protested, as Arthur's fingers trailed up the inside of his thigh.
Arthur gazed up at Merlin as his fingertips dragged along Merlin's hip, right at the edge of his briefs. The muscles in Merlin's backside contracted automatically.
"We -- we -- someone might come in," Merlin insisted as Arthur's fingers changed direction and began rubbing the head of Merlin's cock through his briefs.
"Then you should put on a good performance," Arthur said, his fingers petting the wet spot that had appeared on the front of Merlin's blue briefs.
Merlin made a strangled noise and gripped the edge of the table; Arthur just gave him a saucy grin and leaned forward, his tongue licking the growing wet spot. Merlin's head went back and he stared at the ceiling of the trailer. It had water spots. It had -
Merlin whimpered when Arthur's hand cupped his balls, his thumb stroking along Merlin's cock as he continued to lick Merlin through the damp cotton.
"Arthur, please," Merlin pleaded.
He looked down when he felt Arthur's fingers hooking into the waistband of his briefs, Arthur's eyes were on him when he paused and slid one hand under Merlin's shirt and up his chest. Merlin could feel his lungs growing tight, and he curled into Arthur's fingers as they found his right nipple and plucked it hard.
"Fuck."
Arthur smiled wickedly. "Eventually." His fingers continued to rub and twist Merlin's nipple as Merlin writhed under the assault. When Arthur finally moved his hand away Merlin didn't know whether to be grateful or despondent.
But then Arthur was pulling Merlin's briefs down to his knees and it didn't matter. Merlin's cock hung in the space between them, wet and swollen, and Merlin's heart stopped briefly when Arthur blew lightly across the head.
"I -- you -- Jesus, please," Merlin babbled.
Arthur leaned in and leisurely licked a stripe along the side of Merlin's cock. Arthur's tongue was wet and hot, and Merlin immediately turned his hips in the direction of Arthur's mouth, but Arthur pulled away. The next minute he wrapped a hand around Merlin's prick and began stroking it lightly. Merlin's fingers tried to dig into the table behind him as Arthur's mouth closed over his balls, sucking on one and then the other.
Merlin moaned loudly, his noises cut off only by Arthur's fingers brushing his lips. He opened his mouth and sucked on three of Arthur's fingers eagerly, wrapping his tongue around the length and flicking over short fingernails. When Arthur fucked Merlin's mouth with his fingers, the pads of his fingers stroked Merlin's tongue. Merlin made sure to bite down softly every time Arthur pulled out and lick when he pushed back in.
Arthur watched Merlin intently, his eyes dark as he abandoned all other activities to watch his fingers in Merlin's mouth. Merlin made a disappointed moan when Arthur pulled his hand away for good, but then he wrapped wet fingers around Merlin's cock and jerked him off. Merlin approved of this loudly.
Arthur's voice was unsteady when he spoke. "When this is over, I'm taking you home and fucking you until you can't move."
Merlin made a noise of agreement. It probably sounded like he was dying.
And then Arthur slid his hand down to the base of Merlin's cock and began sucking on the head, and Merlin was pretty sure he was dying.
Merlin lifted a hand from the table to thread it through Arthur's hair, to hold Arthur still while he fucked that perfect mouth, because Arthur really had the perfect mouth for sucking cock.
Arthur closed his eyes as Merlin pushed his head down further, and Merlin couldn't look away from Arthur's mouth sliding up and down wetly, indecently. He could feel the saliva running between his legs, and then Arthur's fingers were there, spreading the slickness, sliding inside of him and Merlin decided now was an excellent time to come.
Arthur swallowed and coughed and then swallowed more. Merlin collapsed ungainly on Arthur's lap and tried to return the favour, but Arthur held his wrists apologetically. "Wardrobe," he said by way of explanation.
Merlin just narrowed his eyes and licked at Arthur's swollen, used lips. "I think wardrobe is the least of your problems considering I just fucked your mouth," he said.
Arthur shook his head ruefully. "Good point."
Gwen was already seated when Merlin walked up to the hostess at Lulu's. Between Arthur working on IM2 and Morgana going into the second series of Incubus/Succubus, they hadn't had as much time to spend together, but they sent lots of text messages, which basically came down to "Brunch/lunch/drinks today?" "No, can't today I've got to do X for Y." "Oh, right, tomorrow?" "Yes, definitely tomorrow." And then it would repeat.
"You're here!" Gwen stood up as Merlin approached the table, a huge grin on her face.
"Yes, I'm here. You act as though you never see me," Merlin mocked, giving Gwen a hug before taking his seat.
"Oh, I see you all the time," Gwen teased. "Your face pops up on my mobile every time you text me to tell me you're cancelling."
"I'm not the one who cancelled last week because Morgana was ill."
"She had the stomach flu!" Gwen protested.
"And you just had to nurse her back to health, then?"
It wasn't Merlin's imagination that Gwen flushed, and he grinned knowingly. Picking up the menu, Merlin made a show of looking it over. He didn't really need to since he was having the same thing he always did. Eggs, bacon and potatoes. What they really needed to serve was beans on toast.
"So, were you ever going to tell me about you and Morgana, or was I supposed to suss it out for myself?" he asked, folding up the menu and putting it back on the table.
Gwen's mouth opened and closed, nothing came out.
Merlin took a sip of his water and waited. "I have all day," he said, sitting back and folding his arms.
"It just happened," Gwen blurted out.
"Yes, I suppose living together will do that to you," Merlin said thoughtfully.
"Well, it happened to you and Arthur," Gwen protested.
"No, that happened before we were living together," Merlin corrected. "He fell and landed on my prick one day and that was pretty much it."
Gwen focussed at something over Merlin's shoulder, and Merlin reached out and patted her hand. "You're happy?"
Gwen bit her lip. "Yeah."
"Then that's all that matters."
Gwen sighed. "I'd meant to tell you."
"But I was too busy wiping Arthur's arse, I know; I'm a horrible friend."
"I never said that."
"It's true. I've gone and made you gay too. If your dad were still alive, he'd be appalled."
Gwen laughed wryly. "Well, he always did prefer Morgana to you."
"See," Merlin said, "so, really it's all for the best then. Now you too can be a kept Hollywood wife."
Gwen just laughed.
The Iron Man 2 wrap party was thrown at Yamashiro in the Hollywood Hills. The restaurant-cum-nightclub was at the very top of a drive that Excalibur would never have been able to make. The drive up the winding hills alone made Merlin a bit dizzy, or it was possibly the two bottles of champagne they'd managed to put away in the last 45 minutes.
Merlin was wearing a proper suit, the stiffness of which seemed to make him more inclined to drink, while Arthur was wearing a black jumper and matching trousers that did nothing for Merlin's ability to concentrate on the fact that this party was going to be work.
He looked up when Gwen poked him in the side and grinned. Her hair was pinned up and she wore a bright yellow sleeveless dress that if he were a bit more heterosexual would've done great things for his hormones. Well, if Merlin were a bit more straight and Morgana wasn't on Gwen's other side, clasping their fingers together.
When the Town Car pulled up to the entrance, Merlin climbed out of the car behind Gwen. As Gwen and Morgana took the stairs ahead of him, he paused at the bottom of the driveway to take in the city views.
You could literally see all of Los Angeles from the restaurant parking lot. At night you couldn't see all the smog, and the city looked as though it went on forever in a sea of yellow and white lights. It was rather beautiful; clearly it was yet another Angeleno façade to fool the uninformed.
Merlin knew better now.
There was a slight breeze this far away from the busy streets, and the wind lifted Merlin's fringe away from his forehead and fractionally lessened his stressed out state. Not that Merlin had anything to worry over, it was just a party -- just a few hundred people who had worked on the movie and held Arthur's career in their hands.
No, nothing to worry over at all.
Arthur bumped his shoulder. "Are you going to stay out here all night?"
Merlin's mouth twisted at the corners. "You don't have to rush me; I know your public awaits."
Arthur raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the party. "C'mon, I know Bob's dying to chat you up shamelessly again."
Merlin coloured. "I have no idea what you're referring to."
Arthur scoffed and tugged Merlin towards the stars. "Did you know it was possible to have an ear fetish?" he tossed over his shoulder.
Merlin stumbled over a step. "Are you saying you have an ear fetish?"
"Bob thinks so," Arthur replied casually. "He seems to think I use them to steer you."
"Sorry?" Merlin grabbed for Arthur's wrist and wound up with his fingers tangled in Arthur's belt loops.
Arthur looked startled when Merlin tugged him backwards. "Are you telling me you've been telling Robert Downey Jr about our sex life?" Merlin hissed as they stepped inside the restaurant, which was designed to imitate a rather large Geisha house. There were people milling around everywhere and Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling, which was rather incongruous with the Geisha theme.
Arthur's eyes went wide as they stopped in the atrium and then he laughed uproariously. "Oh my god, Merlin, I was winding you up, calm down."
"Arthur! Baby! How're you feeling? Feeling like money? Feeling like an Oscar and some Golden Globes? Not that the Globes are good for anything besides dick polishing and using as a toilet paper holder, but you know it's damn shiny, right? I know the Brits love their gold, that's why you robbed all those third world countries, right?"
Merlin rolled his eyes as he extricated himself from Arthur and turned around to see Ari standing three feet away with an absolutely gorgeous woman in a green dress and heels that let her tower over Ari.
"Ari!" the woman scolded.
"Sorry, baby," Ari said in a tone that let Merlin know he wasn't sorry at all.
Merlin shook his head as Ari hugged Arthur profusely. "Seriously, Arthur, everything good? Merlin sucking your cock on the regular?"
Arthur snorted. "I'm fine, Ari. We're both fine."
Ari slung an arm across Arthur's shoulders and then turned to Merlin gleefully. "You got those knee pads handy, shortbread? Cause if he's happy, I'm happy, but if his ass ain't happy, I'm coming after your ass."
Merlin stepped directly into Ari's face and stared him down. Merlin hadn't even realised he had at least two inches on Ari. The power of a brazen façade went far in this town.
"Ari, you keep talking about my arse as though you've been looking at it a lot. Is there something you want to tell me?"
Ari stared for a minute, and then grinned toothily and slung his other arm around Merlin's shoulders. "Baby, this is Arthur, my latest Cash Cow, and this is his girlfriend, Merlin."
"I am not his girlfriend," Merlin hissed, as a force of habit. He could feel Arthur's eyes boring into the side of his head.
The woman extended her hand. "Don't mind my husband, Merlin; he always gets overexcited when I let him out to play with Robert."
Merlin very deliberately did not look at Arthur as he shook Mrs. Ari's hand. "It's lovely to meet you," he said. "I'm sorry about your husband."
Mrs. Ari grinned. "It's okay. I've gotten used to it."
Ari snorted. "That's nice. You two bond over the sales at Fred Segal, I'm taking Arthur around to shake hands and kiss ass."
Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but said nothing at the warning look from Arthur.
Ari slapped Merlin on the arse as he led Arthur away, and Merlin didn't bother to hide his indignation.
Mrs. Ari shook her head and snagged two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter. She offered one to Merlin. "Ari tells me you've been Arthur's driving force," she said conversationally. "You must be very proud."
Merlin took the champagne by rote. "I'm sorry, but are you telling me that Ari's given me credit for something?"
Mrs. Ari's mouth twitched at the corners. "He says you two are very devoted to each other."
"Not to belabour the point, but could you go back to the bit where Ari gave me credit for something?"
Mrs. Ari laughed. "Is he really that bad at the office?"
Merlin gave her a wry look.
Mrs. Ari laughed. "I know he can be a bit much, but he really does care about his clients. Once Ari thinks you're worth something, he'll go to the ends of the earth for you."
Merlin continued to look dubious. Mrs. Ari smiled. "The fact that Ari asked Matt and Robert to take Arthur onto their projects means he believes in him. A lot. Ari likes to keep things in the family. I'd expect that Arthur will be asked to do something with Don Cheadle or George next. Maybe Shia, if we can keep him out of trouble."
Merlin cocked his head to the side. "Shia LaBeouf?"
Mrs. Ari gave him a rueful look. "Shia could use someone like you in his life I suspect. If only to keep the DUIs to a minimum."
"Merlin, we've been looking for you everywhere," a female voice berated from behind Merlin, and when he turned, Morgana and Gwen were standing there with matching grins and matching pink drinks.
Merlin smiled ruefully. "Mrs. Ari, this is Morgana Fay, Arthur's sister and --"
"Morgana," Mrs. Ari said smoothly. "I'm so sorry I couldn't make the premiere party of Incubus/Succubus earlier this year, but our youngest, Jonah, picked that particular night to get the chicken pox."
Morgana smiled. "Ari told me; it's lovely to meet you, finally." Morgana wrapped her arm around Gwen's waist and pushed her forward slightly. "This is my girlfriend, Gwen."
Gwen's smile threatened to split her face in half. Merlin could understand; it was always nice to be acknowledged for what you were. Or weren't. "It's very nice to meet you," Gwen said politely.
Mrs. Ari cocked her head to the side. "Well, I know all about you, Morgana, because I watch your show religiously, so tell me, Gwen -- are you an actor too? You certainly have the look for it."
Gwen laughed. "No, Merlin and I decided that one actor each was more than enough."
Merlin grinned. "We're working on the Hollywood spouse angle."
Mrs. Ari raised her glass to them. "It's not a bad job if you can get it."
"I'm actually at my wits end with Morgana working all the time," Gwen confessed. "I'd really like to do some volunteer work or find a job of some sort, but the visa issue is a nightmare."
Mrs. Ari nodded thoughtfully. "I think you and I should have lunch, Gwen," she said. "I think I might be able to help you on both counts. How do you feel about charity work?"
Gwen let Mrs. Ari lead her towards one of the tables to talk, and Morgana stared after them in shock. "Did Ari's wife just steal my girlfriend?"
Merlin shook his head. "Everyone really is gay in this town, aren't they?"
Robert Downey Jr was chatting up Merlin while his wife was standing ten feet away. It was the most surreal experience of Merlin's life.
"Merlin, the ears, I love the ears. They're very distinctive." Robert reached out and then stopped himself. "I'm not allowed to touch the ears, I know. Arthur's very proprietary about that."
"Arthur's proprietary about what?"
"You," Robert said as though it were the most obvious thing ever. "I mean I asked him, you know, since we're actors, and this is L.A., how open your relationship was, and I got the impression that he might choke me. Do you think he'd choke me? Because that might make for really good sexual tension when we do The Avengers movie."
Merlin took another sip of the gin and tonic that had magically appeared on the table for him and stared. Openly.
"You're giving me that look though," Bob prattled on. "I know that look. That look is either I'm so drunk I'm going to fall over any minute or we should go in the bushes and have sex right now."
Merlin blinked as Bob learned right into his personal space. He really did have obscenely long eyelashes. No one could blame Merlin for --
"You know I'm just messing with you, right?" Robert said. "I mean if this was ten years ago, I probably would be dragging you in the bathroom right now by your ears, but I'm reformed, and Arthur is bigger than me and might actually kick my ass if I keep looking at you -- hello there, Captain America."
Merlin turned his head just as Arthur dropped down on the chaise lounge next to him, except Arthur didn't sit down next him as much as he practically sat on him.
Arthur's mouth lifted at one corner. "Bob, what've you been saying to Merlin? I've been watching you two across the room for the last ten minutes and I've never seen Merlin so still in his entire life."
Merlin went to protest and then realised that was probably true. Robert really was just that fascinating. Not that Arthur wasn't that fascinating as well, but that was different.
Merlin stiffened for a brief second when Arthur leaned back and stretched his arm along the back of the chaise, his fingers brushing against Merlin's shoulder, and then he looked around and realised that nobody was watching. That truly, nobody cared, despite Ari's wariness. This was their life now. He could be Arthur's partner, or whatever they wanted to call it, and it would be fine.
"Why the fuck are you upsetting my Cash Cow?" Ari's voice broke through Merlin's reverie. "I've told you about hitting on the jailbait. How am I going to keep your franchise going when you can't keep it in your pants for five minutes?! Does your wife know about this?"
Robert gave Ari a lazy grin. "Ari, if you don't stop bitching like a jealous girlfriend, people are going to start talking again."
"Oh, like people don't talk about us already!" Ari said huffily.
Robert face was all amusement. "Ari, baby, what's wrong? Are you upset because I haven't been paying enough attention to you?" he said, getting to his feet. "Don't be like this, you know yours is the only dick --"
Robert's words were muffled by Ari's hand over his mouth. "One more word, Downey, just fucking one and I swear I'm telling the women on you."
Robert did something that caused Ari to yelp in disgust, and then Robert was marching Ari away, and Merlin was left squished next to Arthur in a corner of the restaurant.
He sighed and sunk back into the cushions, and by extension, Arthur's arm.
Merlin's entire body felt warm from the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed, and it seemed perfectly natural to turn into Arthur's body and rest his head on Arthur's forearm.
"Having fun?" Arthur asked, his diversion clear by his tone.
Merlin smiled and nodded. "You know, it's not so bad if you take away the horrible agents, the degrading cattle calls, the totally unrealistic body expectations, the scary fans and the stupid Z-List hierarchy."
Arthur laughed. Merlin wrinkled his nose when Arthur leaned in. "So, you know that three-picture option they had me for?"
Merlin's neck cracked ominously when he sat up abruptly. "Had you for?" he parroted.
Arthur's mouth twitched. "I stand corrected: have me for."
Merlin smacked him on the arm. "Don't scare me like that, fucking hell."
Arthur chuckled. "I'm trying to tell you that they've green-lit the movies, you arse. Ari and I just spent twenty minutes with Dana Gordon, and she's in love with the dailies, so they're fast-tracking The Avengers and Captain America. We start shooting as soon as Jon and Justin have the scripts ready."
Merlin's heart got stuck in his throat, and he bit his lip.
So, this was what being a huge fucking success felt like: like you were going to be sick. Or pass out. Or start dancing on the table. Or all three, but not necessarily in that order.
Arthur grinned and rubbed his thumb along Merlin's jaw line. "So, Mr. Emrys," he continued, "the pressing question now is, will you be my date to the premiere of Iron Man 2?"
Merlin could feel his eyes widening. "Are you -- can we -- are you sure about this?"
Arthur rolled his eyes. "I buy you a house, and now, you ask me if I'm sure?"
"I didn't ask you to buy me a house!" Merlin protested weakly.
"I bought us a house," Arthur corrected. "Which, to me, means I'm in it. Are you in it too?"
"It?"
"Us," Arthur clarified.
Merlin snorted. "I was in 'it' as you so eloquently put it, the day I flew over here to save your pathetic arse from the soap opera vortex of suck."
Arthur chuckled. "I'm destined to be a big star. You said so yourself."
Merlin gaped. "I said that one time! It was uni! I was slurring and pissed!" Jesus, he made an arse of himself one time at the pub and nobody ever forgot it just because he'd also picked that night to moon half the room and mention something about destiny.
"You said we were destined too," Arthur reminded him
"Did I mention the bit where I was pissed?" Merlin asked.
Arthur shoved Merlin lightly, but wound up rubbing his fingers along Merlin's neck.
"You know Ari's going to piss himself," Merlin said, leaning into the touch.
Arthur winked. "Yes, well, if you're good, I’ll even let you take photos."
Epilogue
'Epic' was the only word that came to mind when Merlin thought of the Iron Man 2 premiere. Robert and his wife. Ari and Mrs. Ari. Matt Damon and his wife. Don and his wife and George Clooney. Gwyneth and Chris Martin. Will Smith and Jada. Morgana and Gwen. His mum and his Uncle Gaius. Morgana's mum and Uther.
The list of attendees just went on and on and on. And they had all sat in the theatre and watched Arthur launch himself onto the A-List, while Arthur had spent the entire 112 minutes whispering in Merlin's ear about how much he wanted a pint and some chips and a blow job. Merlin had squirmed in the bespoke tuxedo that Arthur had forced him to have made and tried to focus on the fact that in Hollywood 'subtext' was subtext for 'They're doing it, we just can't show it to you on screen or we won't get the PG-13 rating we need.'
After the screening, everyone moved en masse to a poolside party at the Beverly Hills Hotel, which reminded Merlin a lot of Uther's place in the Hollywood Hills with its old school opulence.
Sometimes it was possible to just have too much money.
Once again, Arthur had been whisked away to talk business and make nice with the various studio heads and their underlings. Merlin had two film premieres under his belt at this point, and he found himself amazed that anybody would consider them fun. They were nothing but fucking work. Ari even had Lloyd dragging Merlin around to meet all the other up and coming young stars and their managers.
After two hours of this nonsense, Merlin had had enough. He went in search of Arthur and found him standing outside of a cabana, talking with his father. Merlin thought about what he was going to say for the entire eleven seconds it took him to stalk across the patio to the rescue.
"Everything all right here?" Merlin asked, interrupting their conversation.
Arthur looked slightly startled, but his grin was perfectly genuine. "Father, you remember Merlin," he said.
"Of course," Uther said. "It's good to see you again, Merlin."
Merlin crossed his arms defensively. "Mr. Pendragon."
Uther laughed. "Come now, Merlin, I think you can call me Uther after all this time. You're practically family."
Merlin's arms fell to his sides. "I, uh, yes. It's good to see you too, Uther."
Merlin felt a bit ill.
Uther's smile was all regal condescension. "I was just telling Arthur that the RSC is thinking of doing Hamlet next year, and that, if his schedule permitted, he might be interested in the role."
Merlin turned his head to Arthur for confirmation, and Arthur just raised an eyebrow.
Merlin could only assume the apocalypse would be following shortly.
The sun was just coming up as a limousine dropped Merlin and Arthur off at home several hours later. Merlin's jacket was balled up under his arm, and he dropped it on the ground by mistake as he fumbled with the keys to the front door.
He let Arthur deal with the security alarm as he tried to extricate himself from his tuxedo and climb the stairs at the same time. He tripped over his shoes, his socks and the jacket which he abandoned on the railing. By the time he reached the bedroom, he'd divested himself of his briefs and collapsed on top of the duvet rather than climbing under it. Several minutes later, he heard a soft breath right before Arthur collapsed on the bed next to him, but mostly on him.
Arthur's breathing rustled Merlin's hair as Arthur exhaled as though he'd been holding his breath all night long. It was possible he had.
"Being a star is hard work," Merlin said conversationally. "I'm glad it's you and not me."
Arthur smacked Merlin lightly on the arse. "If I'm going, you're coming with me."
Merlin snorted into the duvet. Arthur was heavy but he was warm, and Merlin was just drifting off to sleep when the phone rang.
"No," Arthur said.
"It could be important," Merlin posited. It could also be a deranged fan, and it would be better if Merlin ran interference and delivered the threats of GBH on their behalf.
"No, Merlin," Arthur said as Merlin stretched out for the portable phone.
Arthur just sighed as Merlin answered. "Hello?"
"Wake up, homos!" Ari's voice shouted down the line. "You think just because you're about to have a blockbuster picture that you can spend the day sucking cock? Fuck that noise! You've gotta strike while that motherfucker is hot and nobody knows if you'll tank. I've got this movie that I know--"
"We're on holiday, Ari," Arthur called.
"Yes," Merlin reiterated, "what he said."
"The hell you are," Ari protested. "Sam Mendes wants you for this picture he's doing with his baby mama, Kate Winslet. It's a period piece; I know gays love that shit."
Merlin sighed as Arthur shifted on top of him. It was a sad day when they were too knackered for sex. Arthur's fingers danced along Merlin's ribs. "It's Sam Mendes," he said, turning his head when Arthur bit his earlobe. "And it's got Kate Winslet."
"I heard," Arthur said. "What's it called?"
"What's it called?" Merlin repeated.
Ari paused for effect.
"Well," Merlin prodded.
"Camelot," Ari said gleefully. "It's called fucking Camelot."
Merlin could feel Arthur chuckling against his neck; Arthur in a movie about King Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table and his wizard, Merlin. How droll.
Merlin disconnected the call and tossed the phone onto the floor with a clatter.
"Ari's not going to like that," Arthur said, mouthing the nape of Merlin's neck.
"Fuck Ari," Merlin said around a yawn.
Arthur made a noncommittal noise but rubbed his cock against Merlin's backside suggestively. "How about you fuck me first, and then we deal with Ari?"
Merlin thought this over. "Am I going to get to sleep at any point today?"
"You're turning down sex for sleep?" Arthur's tone said it all.
"Just an hour," Merlin promised. "Maybe two."
"Are you negotiating, Merlin?"
"Forty-five minutes?"
"No."
"Thirty?"
"And a blow job."
"Dear god," Merlin sighed. "I've become someone who has to make a deal just to get some sleep."
"I know. It's very Hollywood of you."
Merlin turned his head, so he could see Arthur. "Please don't ever insult me that way again."
Arthur's eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed.
"Seriously though, it's not so bad here, is it?" Arthur asked eventually.
"You're here," Merlin said. "I'll sort out the rest."
Arthur blinked. "Really?"
Merlin shrugged as much as he could with Arthur lying on him. "Well, it's destiny, right? No point in fighting it."
Arthur yawned and stretched out over Merlin, his cheek resting on Merlin's shoulder. "Pretty much."
Merlin nodded around an answering yawn. "Yeah, so I've heard."
-end-
I can't really put into words a) how much fucking work this story was (a fuck load) b) how long it took to write (too long) c) how much time was spent on it (too much) or d) how much i enjoyed it (big heaping loads). What I can say is that it never ever would have even been conceptualized without sparky77, who poked and prodded and then when I was folding said, "OMG, took you long enough!" Thank you for your unwavering cheerleading, support, beta work and just listening to me whinge. I hope this is everything you wanted and much more.
It takes a seriously awesome person to open an email (or more appropriately a series of e-mails) that say, "Hey, will you beta this story for me that's going to be like 20 page... err, 30. No, wait, 40. Okay, 45. No. um, 50? Yeah, 50, def - GODDAMN, IT'S 73 PAGES!" And say, yeah, all right. lazlet is that person, and she is made of win, and do not be trying to nick her from me either. I will totally cut you if you do.
Ladies, thank you for your unyielding support. You've made this story everything I could ever hope for and more.