And I still hate other people's children.
So yesterday was...interesting.
I woke up early to the sounds of The Weather Girls singing "It's Raining Men," courtesy of my mommy. I have no idea what station she decided to set my alarm for, but I do know that I was very frightened and confused when I woke up to "It's rainin' men, hallelujah, it's rainin' men!" That was not a good combination at 5.15 in the morning.
So I get ready and leave the house, get to my old high school and park, then head to the office for my assignment.
Here's where things get interesting: I am assigned to a Ms. White in the Science wing, so I head on over there, fight to get the door opened, and then turn on lights and the A/C, because that room was a fucking sauna. The first bell rings, kids start to filter in, and I get out the roll sheet that I'm supposed to use to do attendance, because 1st Period's attendance has to go down to the office by 7.35. I wait until 7.27, then start to call roll, and as I'm doing this...the teacher walks in. Apparently, they told her that there was no one to cover her class, so this poor woman, who was sick, came to school because no one called her back to tell her they'd found someone (ie, moi). So we call the office and see what the deal is, and they say they're sorry, but they still need me to cover other classes, so I leave Ms. White to her monsters--er, children--and head back down to the office.
I get my next assignment and trudge on over to the room, to find...the teacher I'm supposed to be subbing for in the middle of her lecture. By now, I'm thinking I'm either on Candid Camera, or that this is some abysmally cruel hazing procedure for new subs. I, of course, introduce myself to the teacher as soon as I step into the room, and it went something like this:
Me: Hello. You're the teacher?
Teacher: Yes...?
Me: [nods] I'm your substitute.
Teacher: O.O
So I watch her class while she goes down to the office to figure out why the hell they thought she needed a substitute when she DIDN'T REQUEST ONE, and when she comes back, I head back to the office, for the third time that morning.
I receive my THIRD assignment in thirty minutes, and am assured that this is the last one, don't worry, we're so sorry this happened, yadda yadda yadda. I smile and say "Don't worry about it," because it's either that, or go ballistic, and goddammit, I got up early and dressed for this shit, so I'm working one way or another.
So I head on over to room 4148, which is located in the bobo wing of the school. 1st and 2nd Periods, this guy I'm subbing for sits in on an inclusion class, so after wondering if my presence was required, I shlepped my happy ass over to 1108 (on the other side of the school, and close to the office, incidentally) and sat with the teacher there, who when she saw me was relieved, because she had been waiting for the guy to show up so she could make copies of a test for her Honors kids. She ended up not making them, though, because as she was making last minute corrections to her test, she discovered it wasn't going to jive up the way she had planned and just scrapped it.
I leave during 2nd Period to go back to 4148 to get ready for 3rd Period, and when classes change, my little bobos for the day filter in. I take roll, note down who showed up late or not at all, then pass out their worksheet and settle down to read for my Sociology midterm (that I'm so totally going to fail)...
...for all of ten minutes. I was appalled when I realized that all of them were done basically within the first 10/15 minutes of class, because 3rd Period starts at 9.45 and ends at 10.45. I now have unentertained bobos to deal with for the next 45 minutes or so. But my 3rd Period bobos were resourceful; one of them had a camera phone, and they spent the rest of the period making videos and being amusingly obnoxious. I let them play around, and they were good but loud, so all I had to do was tell them to calm down a few times.
4th Period was quiet. There were fewer kids in this one, and once they finished their work, they amused themselves with their iPods and with making a sign for their teacher telling him that the Dolphins suck (and really, they kind of do).
5th Period was more exciting, shall we say. They were the first big class I'd had all day, and they were a lot like 3rd in terms of bobo-ness and volume. I'm also fairly sure I had one kid with ADD, because this child couldn't do a damn thing I asked him. I kept telling him to sit down, and he'd start to and then get sidetracked by something. These guys also finished their work, then found a ball with which to amuse themselves. It's one of those dumb educational toys where the ball has all these questions on it (in this case, math--ick), and depending on which box your...let's say, right thumb...lands, you have to answer the question in that box. Only they decided to forgo that, and just bean each other with it. So I waited until the ball came my way, and confiscated the thing by shoving it under the desk I was sitting at and balancing it up off the ground on my leg so they couldn't get at it. They begged for me to give it back to them, so I made a deal with them: if they stopped trying to hit each other with it, I would give it back--the second it became a beaning contest again, I was taking it. And after that, they were much better about it. It probably helped that I let those that didn't want to join in on the fun sit behind the desk with me, because they kept the ball from hitting me. Three minutes before class ended, I intercepted the ball and asked them to straighten the desks, which they did. Then I hid the ball, because I didn't want a repeat of 5th Period during 6th.
I'M SO GLAD I HAD THE FORETHOUGHT TO HIDE THAT BALL, YOU GUYS.
6th Period was a fucking nightmare. Oh, it started out well enough: I passed out their worksheet, they did it and turned it in. Then, since I'd asked them to find some way of entertaining themselves that didn't involve them tearing the room apart. So they made little paper footballs and threw those around. Then little paper airplanes, and threw those around. Whatever, I didn't care, because they were mostly quiet and not doing anything destructive. Then they set up a target next to my desk and shot little papaer...dart-things...at it to see who could break through 2 and then 3 sheets of paper. Since they were careful not to hit me with any of that crap, I let them go ahead and do it.
Then one of them decided to shut off the lights and throw a book.
I flipped on the lights immediately and sent them all my patented "What-the-FUCK-is-wrong-with-you?" look, and also asked "What was that?" in an incredulous tone of voice. No answer, of course. So I ordered them all to sit down again and stay in their seats.
So instead, one of them steadily made his way over to the light switch again and flipped it off and then proceeded to instigate another book throwing session.
So I countered by flipping on the lights again...and losing my ever-loving mind.
I don't remember what exactly I said. I do know it started with a yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" And because they had all pressed themselves down on the floor, it involved me yelling "YOU! SIT THE FUCK DOWN! AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU! AND WHO TOLD YOU TWO YOU COULD BE OVER THERE (they were behind the teacher's desk)--SIT DOWN!" Other than that, I can't remember. But they did all scramble into their seats, looking rather shocked that I had yelled (as up to that point I hadn't said much, and when I had, my voice and tone had been normal and neutral). I picked up the books on the floor, muttering under my breath, and one of them heard me and said "Son of a bitch" later (which I do recall having said during my little book picking up session) with a grin on his face while looking at me. So I sent him my look of a thousand deaths and he stopped smiling and slumped down in his seat and didn't fuck with me again until right before those little demon spawn left. He had the gall to grin at me and ask, "Ey Miss, you'll come back and be our sub again, right?" That little bastard is lucky I wasn't anywhere near a book--I wanted to bash his face in. So I just sent him another look of a thousand deaths and said "HA!"
Little shit better hope I never sub for him again, that's all I gotta say.
Anyway. They stayed in their seats the rest of the period, except for one little bobo. He came to sit near me, and I let him, because the other assholes in the class liked to periodically pick on him; actually, he spent most of the class huddled in a chair behind me. When the afternoon announcements came on, they started to pack up, and I stood up and surveyed the classroom. I was so pissed off at them that when I saw the paper all over the floor I said to myself, "Fuck that--I'm not picking this shit up."--which, prior to the 2 turning-off-the-lights-and-throwing-books-around-the-room episodes, I wouldn't have really minded picking up all that much. So I said to them, "If you pick up all this shit on the floor, I'll let you out a minute early." I didn't even get to finish before one of them bellowed, "Come on, let's go, pick it up!" So they did, and then huddled by the door, and all of us stared at the clock. The second it hit 2.29, I said, and I quote:
"Get. Lost."
I didn't look at them, or say anything else. The other classes, I said "'Bye guys, have a good weekend," and they said "Bye Miss, you too" or "I hope you sub for us again." But I just wanted 6th Period GONE.
And one of them came back and said "Miss, I don't think I turned in my work--" To which I immediately said, "I have your work, go away." I had half a mind to "lose" 6th Period's work, but I didn't. I just wrote down the names of Mr. "I-need-to-turn-off-the-lights-and-throw-books-around" and his buddy Mr. "I-think-I'm-so-funny." Their names were the only names I wrote down that day, and on my report for the teacher, I only put down "Worst class of the day" for 6th Period, which I know is enough, because these kids don't behave for their teacher and I could tell that by the way they talked about him--hell, I didn't even need to ask if they liked him or not, they straight up offered their opinions on the man, no prompting necessary, and none of it was complimentary.
If I ever have to baby sit for that man again, you can bet I'm going to be standing by the light switch for the entire period, and I'm going to hide every single book. And the second someone puts a toe out of line, I'm calling 2 security guards down from the office and writing up every single one of them, whether they were involved or not--fuck that. I can be a bitch if I have to be.
This experience also convinced me that there is no power on Earth that can compel me to willingly teach regular classes. I'm going to teach AP straight out of the gate. I'll take neurotic, know-it-all dipshits before I'll subject myself to little asshole retards who think in such an unoriginal manner.
(I was a little offended that they couldn't think of a more unique way of fucking with the sub. Turning off the lights and throwing books? How bland. If that's as creative as they got, it doesn't bode well for their grades at all.)
On the upside, I'm pretty sure I'll be subbing for Z on Monday, and her kids are all AP and Honors, so I won't have to deal with morons. So there's that.
And tonight I'm going to Bonsai with everybody again, which is good, because after what happened today, I need something good: I slept right through my alarm and missed my GK exam. I was so fucking upset, you guys. I'd really been looking forward to it, because once I took it and got my scores, I'd finally be assigned my advisor in the COE. But I signed up to take the English Language Skills, Reading and Math portions of it via computer (at MDC--boo) on the 24th, and I'll get my scores about 2 weeks later, so there's that. I'm going to have to wait until January to take the essay portion, of course, but I think I'll be okay just taking the ELS, Reading and Math parts--I'm pretty sure I still get my advisor in the COE without the essay. I'll have to see when I go to be "advised" in 3 weeks.
All right, I have to do a little research for my second EU Pol paper before I start getting ready for tonight. It's due Tuesday, which completely threw me off when I got the reminder email on crap-tastic Web CT, because I hadn't been expecting it to be so soon, even though I knew the Simulation was going to be the 30th, and all those papers had to be in by then.
Later days, then.
I woke up early to the sounds of The Weather Girls singing "It's Raining Men," courtesy of my mommy. I have no idea what station she decided to set my alarm for, but I do know that I was very frightened and confused when I woke up to "It's rainin' men, hallelujah, it's rainin' men!" That was not a good combination at 5.15 in the morning.
So I get ready and leave the house, get to my old high school and park, then head to the office for my assignment.
Here's where things get interesting: I am assigned to a Ms. White in the Science wing, so I head on over there, fight to get the door opened, and then turn on lights and the A/C, because that room was a fucking sauna. The first bell rings, kids start to filter in, and I get out the roll sheet that I'm supposed to use to do attendance, because 1st Period's attendance has to go down to the office by 7.35. I wait until 7.27, then start to call roll, and as I'm doing this...the teacher walks in. Apparently, they told her that there was no one to cover her class, so this poor woman, who was sick, came to school because no one called her back to tell her they'd found someone (ie, moi). So we call the office and see what the deal is, and they say they're sorry, but they still need me to cover other classes, so I leave Ms. White to her monsters--er, children--and head back down to the office.
I get my next assignment and trudge on over to the room, to find...the teacher I'm supposed to be subbing for in the middle of her lecture. By now, I'm thinking I'm either on Candid Camera, or that this is some abysmally cruel hazing procedure for new subs. I, of course, introduce myself to the teacher as soon as I step into the room, and it went something like this:
Me: Hello. You're the teacher?
Teacher: Yes...?
Me: [nods] I'm your substitute.
Teacher: O.O
So I watch her class while she goes down to the office to figure out why the hell they thought she needed a substitute when she DIDN'T REQUEST ONE, and when she comes back, I head back to the office, for the third time that morning.
I receive my THIRD assignment in thirty minutes, and am assured that this is the last one, don't worry, we're so sorry this happened, yadda yadda yadda. I smile and say "Don't worry about it," because it's either that, or go ballistic, and goddammit, I got up early and dressed for this shit, so I'm working one way or another.
So I head on over to room 4148, which is located in the bobo wing of the school. 1st and 2nd Periods, this guy I'm subbing for sits in on an inclusion class, so after wondering if my presence was required, I shlepped my happy ass over to 1108 (on the other side of the school, and close to the office, incidentally) and sat with the teacher there, who when she saw me was relieved, because she had been waiting for the guy to show up so she could make copies of a test for her Honors kids. She ended up not making them, though, because as she was making last minute corrections to her test, she discovered it wasn't going to jive up the way she had planned and just scrapped it.
I leave during 2nd Period to go back to 4148 to get ready for 3rd Period, and when classes change, my little bobos for the day filter in. I take roll, note down who showed up late or not at all, then pass out their worksheet and settle down to read for my Sociology midterm (that I'm so totally going to fail)...
...for all of ten minutes. I was appalled when I realized that all of them were done basically within the first 10/15 minutes of class, because 3rd Period starts at 9.45 and ends at 10.45. I now have unentertained bobos to deal with for the next 45 minutes or so. But my 3rd Period bobos were resourceful; one of them had a camera phone, and they spent the rest of the period making videos and being amusingly obnoxious. I let them play around, and they were good but loud, so all I had to do was tell them to calm down a few times.
4th Period was quiet. There were fewer kids in this one, and once they finished their work, they amused themselves with their iPods and with making a sign for their teacher telling him that the Dolphins suck (and really, they kind of do).
5th Period was more exciting, shall we say. They were the first big class I'd had all day, and they were a lot like 3rd in terms of bobo-ness and volume. I'm also fairly sure I had one kid with ADD, because this child couldn't do a damn thing I asked him. I kept telling him to sit down, and he'd start to and then get sidetracked by something. These guys also finished their work, then found a ball with which to amuse themselves. It's one of those dumb educational toys where the ball has all these questions on it (in this case, math--ick), and depending on which box your...let's say, right thumb...lands, you have to answer the question in that box. Only they decided to forgo that, and just bean each other with it. So I waited until the ball came my way, and confiscated the thing by shoving it under the desk I was sitting at and balancing it up off the ground on my leg so they couldn't get at it. They begged for me to give it back to them, so I made a deal with them: if they stopped trying to hit each other with it, I would give it back--the second it became a beaning contest again, I was taking it. And after that, they were much better about it. It probably helped that I let those that didn't want to join in on the fun sit behind the desk with me, because they kept the ball from hitting me. Three minutes before class ended, I intercepted the ball and asked them to straighten the desks, which they did. Then I hid the ball, because I didn't want a repeat of 5th Period during 6th.
I'M SO GLAD I HAD THE FORETHOUGHT TO HIDE THAT BALL, YOU GUYS.
6th Period was a fucking nightmare. Oh, it started out well enough: I passed out their worksheet, they did it and turned it in. Then, since I'd asked them to find some way of entertaining themselves that didn't involve them tearing the room apart. So they made little paper footballs and threw those around. Then little paper airplanes, and threw those around. Whatever, I didn't care, because they were mostly quiet and not doing anything destructive. Then they set up a target next to my desk and shot little papaer...dart-things...at it to see who could break through 2 and then 3 sheets of paper. Since they were careful not to hit me with any of that crap, I let them go ahead and do it.
Then one of them decided to shut off the lights and throw a book.
I flipped on the lights immediately and sent them all my patented "What-the-FUCK-is-wrong-with-you?" look, and also asked "What was that?" in an incredulous tone of voice. No answer, of course. So I ordered them all to sit down again and stay in their seats.
So instead, one of them steadily made his way over to the light switch again and flipped it off and then proceeded to instigate another book throwing session.
So I countered by flipping on the lights again...and losing my ever-loving mind.
I don't remember what exactly I said. I do know it started with a yelled "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" And because they had all pressed themselves down on the floor, it involved me yelling "YOU! SIT THE FUCK DOWN! AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND YOU! AND WHO TOLD YOU TWO YOU COULD BE OVER THERE (they were behind the teacher's desk)--SIT DOWN!" Other than that, I can't remember. But they did all scramble into their seats, looking rather shocked that I had yelled (as up to that point I hadn't said much, and when I had, my voice and tone had been normal and neutral). I picked up the books on the floor, muttering under my breath, and one of them heard me and said "Son of a bitch" later (which I do recall having said during my little book picking up session) with a grin on his face while looking at me. So I sent him my look of a thousand deaths and he stopped smiling and slumped down in his seat and didn't fuck with me again until right before those little demon spawn left. He had the gall to grin at me and ask, "Ey Miss, you'll come back and be our sub again, right?" That little bastard is lucky I wasn't anywhere near a book--I wanted to bash his face in. So I just sent him another look of a thousand deaths and said "HA!"
Little shit better hope I never sub for him again, that's all I gotta say.
Anyway. They stayed in their seats the rest of the period, except for one little bobo. He came to sit near me, and I let him, because the other assholes in the class liked to periodically pick on him; actually, he spent most of the class huddled in a chair behind me. When the afternoon announcements came on, they started to pack up, and I stood up and surveyed the classroom. I was so pissed off at them that when I saw the paper all over the floor I said to myself, "Fuck that--I'm not picking this shit up."--which, prior to the 2 turning-off-the-lights-and-throwing-books-around-the-room episodes, I wouldn't have really minded picking up all that much. So I said to them, "If you pick up all this shit on the floor, I'll let you out a minute early." I didn't even get to finish before one of them bellowed, "Come on, let's go, pick it up!" So they did, and then huddled by the door, and all of us stared at the clock. The second it hit 2.29, I said, and I quote:
"Get. Lost."
I didn't look at them, or say anything else. The other classes, I said "'Bye guys, have a good weekend," and they said "Bye Miss, you too" or "I hope you sub for us again." But I just wanted 6th Period GONE.
And one of them came back and said "Miss, I don't think I turned in my work--" To which I immediately said, "I have your work, go away." I had half a mind to "lose" 6th Period's work, but I didn't. I just wrote down the names of Mr. "I-need-to-turn-off-the-lights-and-throw-books-around" and his buddy Mr. "I-think-I'm-so-funny." Their names were the only names I wrote down that day, and on my report for the teacher, I only put down "Worst class of the day" for 6th Period, which I know is enough, because these kids don't behave for their teacher and I could tell that by the way they talked about him--hell, I didn't even need to ask if they liked him or not, they straight up offered their opinions on the man, no prompting necessary, and none of it was complimentary.
If I ever have to baby sit for that man again, you can bet I'm going to be standing by the light switch for the entire period, and I'm going to hide every single book. And the second someone puts a toe out of line, I'm calling 2 security guards down from the office and writing up every single one of them, whether they were involved or not--fuck that. I can be a bitch if I have to be.
This experience also convinced me that there is no power on Earth that can compel me to willingly teach regular classes. I'm going to teach AP straight out of the gate. I'll take neurotic, know-it-all dipshits before I'll subject myself to little asshole retards who think in such an unoriginal manner.
(I was a little offended that they couldn't think of a more unique way of fucking with the sub. Turning off the lights and throwing books? How bland. If that's as creative as they got, it doesn't bode well for their grades at all.)
On the upside, I'm pretty sure I'll be subbing for Z on Monday, and her kids are all AP and Honors, so I won't have to deal with morons. So there's that.
And tonight I'm going to Bonsai with everybody again, which is good, because after what happened today, I need something good: I slept right through my alarm and missed my GK exam. I was so fucking upset, you guys. I'd really been looking forward to it, because once I took it and got my scores, I'd finally be assigned my advisor in the COE. But I signed up to take the English Language Skills, Reading and Math portions of it via computer (at MDC--boo) on the 24th, and I'll get my scores about 2 weeks later, so there's that. I'm going to have to wait until January to take the essay portion, of course, but I think I'll be okay just taking the ELS, Reading and Math parts--I'm pretty sure I still get my advisor in the COE without the essay. I'll have to see when I go to be "advised" in 3 weeks.
All right, I have to do a little research for my second EU Pol paper before I start getting ready for tonight. It's due Tuesday, which completely threw me off when I got the reminder email on crap-tastic Web CT, because I hadn't been expecting it to be so soon, even though I knew the Simulation was going to be the 30th, and all those papers had to be in by then.
Later days, then.