Excuse me, what is a yewt?
Vinny Gambini: Is it possible the 2 defendants...
[looks at judge]
Vinny Gambini: went into the Sac-O-Suds, picked 22 specific items off of the shelf, had the clerk take the money, make change, then leave. Then 2 different men drive up...
[Seeing Mr. Tipton shake his head no]
Vinny Gambini: Don't shake your head I'm not finished yet. Wait until you hear the whole thing you can understand what it is that I'm askin'. Then, two different men drive up in a similar looking car, go into the store, shoot the clerk, rob him, then leave?
Mr. Tipton: No. They didn't have enough time.
Vinny Gambini: Why not? How long was they in the store for?
Mr. Tipton: 5 minutes.
Vinny Gambini: 5 minutes? How do you know? Did you look at your watch?
Mr. Tipton: No.
Vinny Gambini: Oh, oh, oh, you tesitfied earlier that you saw the boys go into the store, and you had just begun to cook your breakfast and you were just getting ready to eat when you heard the shot.
Mr. Tipton: That's right.
Vinny Gambini: So obviously it takes you 5 minutes to cook your breakfast.
Mr. Tipton: That's right.
Vinny Gambini: That's right, so you knew that. You remember what you had?
Mr. Tipton: Eggs and grits.
Vinny Gambini: Eggs and grits. I like grits, too. How do you cook your grits? Do you like them regular, creamy or al dente?
Mr. Tipton: Just regular I guess.
Vinny Gambini: Regular. Instant grits?
Mr. Tipton: No self respectin' Southerner uses instant grits. I take pride in my grits.
Vinny Gambini: So, Mr. Tipton, how could it take you 5 minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit eating world 20 minutes?
Mr. Tipton: I don't know, I'm a fast cook I guess!
Vinny Gambini: I'm sorry I was all the way over here I couldn't hear you did you say you were a fast cook, that's it?
Mr. Tipton: Yeah.
Vinny Gambini: Are we to believe that boiling water soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than anywhere else on the face of the earth?
Mr. Tipton: I don't know.
Vinny Gambini: Well, I guess the laws of physics cease to exist on top of your stove. Were these magic grits? Did you buy them from the same guy who sold Jack his beanstalk beans?
Today in New Adventures: I had grits. Yes, grits. Momma D, Brother Adam, the Frog Daddy, and I went out to Cracker Barrel for a bit o' brecky this morn and I had the Country Boy breakfast (which is too much goddamn food, really) and it came with grits. Being a big fan of the film My Cousin Vinny (oh, man, BA and I have probably watched that movie about 100 times...twice over Thanksgiving weekend last year alone), I felt compelled to try them. They were alright. Like oatmeal, but made from corn. Not being well versed in the ways of grit consumption, I wasn't quite sure what to do with them. So, I put a dollop on my plate and sort of mixed it with some egg yolk and dipped my little pieces of my steak in the concoction. That was okay. Then I mixed them up with a little bit of the apple stuff they gave me and that was better, but by then I was already getting full (it really was a lot of food...2 buttermilk biscuits, WTF?). So now I know I like my grits with something sweet...not that I'm going to be a grit-eater from now on, but if I'm presented with grits, I'll know what to do with them.
I also had three cups of coffee (the coffee refiller guy was slick, he'd freshen your cup before you even realized it) so I'm gonna go jog around the building a couple of times before this buzz wears off.