S-C-A-N-D-A-L-O-U-S
Title: SCANDALOUS (Part ½)
Dedication: onetruemei
Pairing/Characters: KyuMin, HanChul, YeWook, ZhouRy (or is it HenMi?), Amber
Rating: NC-17 (contains SMUT)
Genre: Gender-bender crossdressing!AU, smut, romance and crack.
Summary: Kyuhyun’s roommate drags him to a Gay Bar where he meets a very interesting lesbian.
A/n: This is the brain child of re-watching Intimate Note and listening to “Damn You Look Good and I’m Drunk (Scandalous)” by Cobra Starship on repeat. Damn that Lee Sungmin for looking better than me in a skirt…
***
Sorry…
S-C-A-N-D- to the A-to the L-O-U-S
Can’t handle it, can’t handle it.
Damn that girl, she’s scandalous
“And why do I have to go with you again?” Kyuhyun looked to his roommate, raising an eyebrow enquiringly over his thick rimmed glasses. He sat his glass of milk back onto the table quietly.
Heechul sent him a withering look.
“Well, first off, the most fun you have on a Saturday night is reviewing your biology notes; secondly, it is THE GREAT Kim Heechul asking you to escort him; and lastly, I don’t think you ever been to a club since you became legal!”
Kyuhyun folded the corner of his page down on his book before closing it loudly.
“What I meant was, why couldn’t you get Siwon or Zhoumi to go with you?” he sighed, exasperatedly.
Heechul began matter-of-factly, “Siwon’s at church being some form of an altar boy. I can never understand his obsession with religion -“
“He should just convert to the Church of Kim Heechul and get it over with,” Kyuhyun remarked sarcastically.
Heenim glared, but continued.
“Zhoumi is already going with friends. THE Kim Heechul does not like to rock up alone to parties, and to leave them alone is just appalling!”
“But why me!?” Kyuhyun asked his roommate loudly, pleading inside his head that his hyung would simply give in and not force him to go.
“Because, the only action you see in your life is that silly little computer game you play and the bar maid said it is half off if you bring a friend!”
“Bar maid? I didn’t think you associated with women, hyung…”
“Hangeng isn’t a woman,” Heechul smirked, winking. When he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, Kyuhyun shuddered. He had to keep Heechul away from Siwon.
The church boy was obviously giving Heechul weird habits, if the gesturing was anything to go by.
It wasn’t every day his gay roommate tried to take him to a gay bar. It was even rarer that he was invited on one of the “cross-dressing competition” days - i.e. NEVER.
Kyuhyun concluded, Heechul was desperate.
“What will you do if I say no?” Kyuhyun smiled hopefully.
Heechul’s left eye sparkled with some unknown knowledge.
“No one refuses THE Kim Heechul.”
“That’s what I was afraid of…”
It’s time to get a tan; it’s half off if you bring a friend.
With those crazy press on nails, uh-oh.
Here’s the truth, you’re kinda hot
But when you open up to talk…
I can feel I’m going soft, uh-oh.
An hour and a half later, Kyuhyun sat dejectedly at the bar beside his roommate, trying desperately to pull down the two-sizes-too-small mini skirt that had started climbing to his mid-thigh.
At first he had struggled against Heechul’s demandswishes but he finally gave in - “They always do,” Heechul smiled mischievously as Kyuhyun asked which eyeshadow opened his eyes more - Zhoumi had been seated next to Kyuhyun, but once he found that Kyuhyun wasn’t as open to his sexual advances as when they were at home, he left to dance with one of his Chinese friends he entered with. Meaning, that after Kyuhyun had pulled a stray hand from under the mini skirt, Zhoumi went to find another prey.
This friend of his however, was not cross-dressing, but dressed in a nice black suit.
“Zhoumi said we were going out and to get dressed up. He didn’t elaborate further,” the man, Henry, confided, looking about as comfortable as Kyuhyun felt. At least Henry liked the person who dragged him along.
Thinking this, Kyuhyun stopped glaring at the back of Heechul’s head for a quarter of a second to see that Henry was being repeatedly approached by groups of lesbians and then trying to persuade them he was actually a man before resorting to dancing with Zhoumi. It was, to say the least, amusing.
The other male who had arrived with Zhoumi and Henry was sitting in a corner and giggling whilst drinking a viciously pink cocktail of Siwon-only-knows, with a man Kyuhyun recognised from his college Theory class. Yesung was the name he used, and he could quickly see why the “Fairy Princess” Ryeowook was stumbling over his words with the man.
Ryeowook had brought another two friends, both dressed in casual menswear. Since Kyuhyun was dressed as a girl - “Perfect!” Zhoumi exclaimed when he saw him. “A high school slut to go with Heenim’s ‘sexy teacher’ image!” - he assumed both of those two to be female.
One had already introduced ‘himself’.
“I’m Amber,” she said, shaking hands with Kyuhyun before going to talk, and later be rejected by, Henry. The ‘boy’ next to her was another story. She had short brown hair that was slightly spiked up and a gloriously cute face with fox-like eyes and a shy smile. This person practically had ‘cute’ stamped to their forehead in pink ink to match the pink playboy bunny tee they wore.
No good, you’re up to no good,
But damn you look good and I’m drunk.
Now you got me kinda thinking like maybe I would.
So hard to be good, it’s so hard to be good…
“Have you seen Sungmin-hyung?” Amber drawled after her fourth beer, coming to sit on Kyuhyun’s vacant side. Kyuhyun stared at her.
“And who is Sungmin-oppa?” he asked innocently, playing along with her gender-switch game. Amber smirked.
“The cute guy I entered with.” Amber began to tap her chin as she looked wildly around for the ‘cute guy’, before looking back to Kyuhyun and taking a swig of the bottle in her other hand.
“The guy with foxy-eyes…” she added as an afterthought.
Kyuhyun smirked. ‘They must refer to each other as men, ha…’
“Not sure, I haven’t seen him since you stranded him on the dance floor.”
Amber opened her mouth and closed it again. Kyuhyun wondered why he’d even noticed poor Sungmin standing alone on the floor. And why was he now so interested in finding ‘him’ now?
“Ah! There he is! Sungmin-hyung!” Amber called raucously across the club.
Kyuhyun inwardly cringed at attracting attention to himself before turning and watching a slightly startled Sungmin exit the male restrooms. Needless to say, Kyuhyun was now confused.
“Shouldn’t Sungmin-oppa be using the ‘female’ restrooms?” he queried, innocently raising an eyebrow at Amber who coughed into her hand. Kyuhyun suspected she wasn’t actually coughing.
Before long Sungmin was perched on the stool on the other side of Amber. Kyuhyun wondered if he should be a gentleman and order drinks for them all, but Hangeng the bar maid and his roommate had both mysteriously disappeared.
Zhoumi and Henry were dancing so close together it was practically indecent. Not that anyone really cared.
“Sungmin-hyung, this is Kyuhyun. Who’d you come with noona?”
“Heechul…” he grunted turning back to face the two of Ryeowook’s friends.
Sungmin giggled. If it had a colour, Kyuhyun decided it would be pink.
“So you’re his infamous roommate?”
Kyu strummed his nails absent mindedly against the bar top, still thinking. Sungmin might’ve been his type if he was, you know, interested in girls. And if Sungmin wasn’t a lesbian. Or with Amber.
Damn that girl could hold her liquor.
“So Heechul actually got you dressed up?” the foxy person smirked ferally.
Kyuhyun decided Sungmin’s tone of voice was sexy, leaving him slightly more excited than he should be.
When he got home he would re-evaluate his sexuality.
“Yeah… he locked me in a bathroom stark naked and attacked me…” Kyuhyun sighed.
“Would’ve liked to be in on that…” Sungmin mumbled so quietly Kyuhyun wasn’t sure he even heard it.
He assumed he probably didn’t.
Amber pouted.
“If only Sungmin-hyung had bothered to get dressed up tonight you could’ve beaten Heenim, finally!” she looked to Sungmin who merely shook his head in response.
“I’d rather not be charged with indecent exposure this time, Amber…” he giggled.
Kyuhyun’s eyes snapped open as he stared over at Amber and Sungmin quizzically.
‘Sungmin’s a GUY?’
“Looks like he just realised we aren’t lesbians, hyung!” Amber clapped, laughing. Sungmin frowned before handing her a crumpled piece of paper.
“You win this time. Only five more minutes and I would’ve won!” the pink man sulked.
“And for the record, you ARE a lesbian. I’m the man here!” he added as an afterthought.
“… You two had a bet to see if I could figure out he was a guy!?” Kyuhyun squeaked, blushing and looking at his lap.
Amber smiled widely. “Yup! I’m now up a thousand won!”
“You can buy the drinks then,” Sungmin stated dryly.
“Oh no you don’t! This is nothing. Just wait til he finds out about the bet you and Heechul played to see if Heechul could get him dressed up in the first place! You owe him more than me, so make him pay!”
“… He won’t even have to pay anyways, he’s screwing the bar staff!”
“…” Kyuhyun just sat there traumatised.
A few seconds later he felt strong fingers underneath his chin, lifting his face until he was eye to eye with Sungmin. He spotted Amber in his peripheral vision, fighting her way to get to Henry in the middle of the dance floor.
“Don’t blush, it doesn’t suit your character, Kyuhyunnie…” Sungmin whispered lowly in his ear.
His voice was sweet and quiet, but deep and sultry at the same time.
It felt to Kyuhyun like he’d been hit with molten lava wrapped in a feather boa with a cherry on top.
Surprisingly, he liked the feeling of the electricity coursing through his veins.
He wasn’t sure whether Sungmin meant the school girl slut he was pretending to be - and quite obviously failing at, he’d been told much later - of his actual personal character.
He smirked before deciding to do something in character. He lunged at Sungmin.
“What should I do then, oppa…?” Kyuhyun tried to wiggle his hips slightly, letting his skirt raise slightly so that the elder male in front of his could see his milky white thigh clearly.
Sungmin laughed. Kyuhyun tried pouting.
“Don’t laugh at me. You’ll hurt my feelings…” he reached out and grabbed one of Sungmin’s hands before pressing it against the front of his skirt which had started tenting ever so slightly.
Sungmin gasped, while his other hand was made busy by curling Kyuhyun’s wig around his fingers.
Kyuhyun’s smirk widened as he watched Sungmin’s eyes snap open as soon as his hand came into contact with his highly personal area; the way his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he gulped deliciously.
Sungmin started to palm Kyuhyun’s erection through the cloth, smirking as he regained his senses.
“You’ll have to try better than that to have me, Kyuhyun. Can can’t have your cake and eat it too I’m afraid my dear…” He pecked the younger boy’s cheek, before swiftly leaping off of the stool and disappearing into the crowd on the dance floor.
Looking around blindly for the pink man, Kyuhyun’s eyes rested on the table where Yesung and Ryeowook had been seated.
Only Yesung sat there now.
He seemed oddly happy at being the only one at the table.
Weird.
It finally dawned on Cho Kyuhyun that he was drunk, had offered himself to a man, been rejected and was left in a not-really-painful-but-slightly-annoying state of arousal.
He watched as Heechul walked - well, not walking, as he was THE Kim Heechul afterall, so he never walked - no, strutted over with a slight limp to where Kyuhyun sat in his misery.
“Hyunnie, I have been thoroughly sexed up and Hangeng is driving us home since you are utterly sloshed, my friend. Did you enjoy it?”
Kyuhyun didn’t answer.
It was going to be a long night.
‘Damn that Sungmin!’
The next day Kyuhyun had one ‘heaven’ of a hangover and was dragged to church early by resident pastoral service person, Choi Siwon. Never had he been so annoyed at God’s favourite son.
However, he also couldn’t forget a certain interaction with a foxy-male and silently vowed to torture his info out of Heechul, if it was the last thing he ever did.
After church, he promptly collapsed due to hangover and forgot to ask Heechul anything beyond, “Can you get me an asprin?” which was denied vehemently.
“Kyu~” Heechul sing-songed from his bedroom, causing Kyuhyun to look up from his IT Lecture review he’d been reading online and stare in the general direction of Heechul’s room. Said girly man flung open his door before stalking up behind Kyuhyun and grabbing his shoulders forcefully.
Kyuhyun may have been physically bigger, but Heechul was definitely stronger as he pushed the tall brunette into the computer chair.
“You were talking to Lee Sungmin last night.” The elder stated bluntly. Kyuhyun looked up at the mention of Sungmin’s name and nodded. Heechul’s stare narrowed violently.
“He owes me money.”
“Oh.” Kyuhyun’s smile fell. It wasn’t like he was hoping Heechul would tell him that Sungmin had asked after him or anything.
“And he wants to see you at the bar next weekend.” Kyuhyun had never known THE Kim Heechul to act a messenger for anything.
“Umm… okay? What’s wrong with that, hyung?”
“… I fight against this guy for years in the contest, then my roomy wins him over in five minutes and scores! Not fair!”
“… What do you mean score!?” Kyuhyun blurted. Heechul looked at him incredulously.
“You definitely do not know Lee Sungmin yet…”
“…?”
“… He also says that I am not allowed to dress you up next time! Can you believe it!?” Heechul cried suddenly.
“Oh…”
‘So that’s what this is about…’Kyuhyun barely stifled a deep chuckle in time.
“Because everyone needs to be dressed by THE Kim Heechul.” Kyuhyun said dryly.
Only this time his wit didn’t get the desired effect.
Heechul shot him a look that said ‘Clearly, of course’ before opening his pretty little mouth and saying, “One day you will wish I dressed you every day!”
The problem with Heechul was that he had a habit of looking nice enough and then opening his mouth and putting his foot in it.
“… You do dress me everyday hyung,” Kyu deadpanned. Heechul clapped his hands together.
“I do! And then you wonder and complain about having half of campus asking for your number and then you promptly refuse them all -“
“It has nothing to do with my charm and natural good look of course…”
“Of course not!” Heechul snapped. “…Hmm… maybe if we told campus you were gay we wouldn’t have to keep hurting those poor girls’ feelings. We’re fragile creatures you know!”
Kyuhyun didn’t have the heart to argue that case point.