Chapter 7
Title: Moonstruck
Pairing: Sirius/Remus, some James/Lily
In which the boys have a serious conversation
Chapter 7
They were lying on the bed, in Remus’ room this time. James had strictly forbidden him to come back to Gryffindor Tower before 11 PM, as he was heavily involved in wooing his lady love. Sirius had no problem with that. At least this way, Remus couldn’t run out on him again.
But Remus didn’t look like he was going anywhere. In fact, he was pulling the blue velvet curtains closed around the bed, leaving only a sliver open for light. He cast a silencing charm around them for good measure, though there was not much chance of anyone interrupting them.
“What are you up to?”
Remus just smiled and kissed him. He then pushed him down on the bed, straddling the taller boy. He proceeded to divest the Quidditch star of his robes and jumper. Well this was going along nicely. Sirius was shocked out of his musings when his boyfriend started to slowly unbutton his own shirt.
“Remus?”
“I have nothing left to hide.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to. Do you think it’s pleasant to snog with layers of clothes on? It’s bloody uncomfortable!”
Though Remus was joking, the Gryffindor could see a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. He squeezed his leg in reassurance and remained quiet as the other boy finished undressing. The moonlight coming in through the slit in the curtains cast a bluish tint on the werewolf’s skin. He could easily see the faint scars crisscrossing the slim but toned torso. There was a harsher scar, the wolf’s bite he realized, across the left shoulder. He lightly stroked the skin he had been aching to touch for months and felt Remus shiver.
He found his fingers tracing the paths of ancient wounds, wishing he could take even the pain of their memory away. “These look pretty old.”
“Most of them are from when I was little. Since I’ve been at school, the nurses have done a good job of healing my injuries.”
“All the books I read said the transformations are very painful,” Sirius hesitated, “I’m sorry, I’m not pushing.”
“No, it’s okay. I’ve never really talked about it with anyone. I didn’t want to make my family feel any more guilty. And I didn’t have friends at Beauxbatons, it was too dangerous to let anyone get close. Then the Ministere du Magique changed their policy on underage werewolves, and disclosed my information to the public. The headmistress had known, but kept it confidential. Once the parents found out, the howlers came streaming in and she had to expel me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s in the past. It worked out in the end. My headmistress felt bad for me, so she contacted Dumbledore to see if there was anything he could do. He not only accepted me but set up a place for me to go during my transformations. At Beauxbatons I only had a cage.”
Sirius looked horrified.
“Don’t. I don’t want you to pity me,” Remus said, looking away.
“I don’t. I’m just angry that they would do that to anyone. I don’t pity you,” Sirius said earnestly. “I think you’re amazing. You’re the bravest person I know.” He tugged on his boyfriend’s arm until he was lying down next to him.
“I’m not brave, I just do what I have to. And to answer your question, yes, it is very painful. But the actual transformation only lasts a few minutes. That isn’t the worst part. It’s having no control over your body. The wolf is always in me, but one day a month he takes over. I can feel him grow stronger, until it’s as if I’m trapped inside my own body. I can see and feel everything he does, but I can’t do anything to stop him.
“He’s so angry. He hates being locked up, and tears me up because of it. Or if he doesn’t agree with what I’ve been doing for the rest of the month. I once tried being vegetarian to spite him. He did not take that particularly well,” Remus said with a self-deprecating smile.
“Is there anything you both agree on?”
The fair-haired boy thought for a moment, “We both like you.”
Sirius stared at him.
“I mean it, the last few months have been much easier. I’ve been happy. I think Moony approves.”
“Moony?” Sirius asked, confused.
“It’s what I call him in my mind. He’s not really a monster, just an animal. Extremely dangerous, but just a beast. I think he was lonely too. Wolves are social by nature.”
They grew quite for a while.
“Is there anything good about being a werewolf?”
“Not really, they call it a curse for a reason.” Remus grew contemplative, “I suppose it’s nice to have sensitive hearing; no one can ever sneak up on me. And my sense of smell is much more acute than the average person’s. I can even identify someone who has been magically altered, like with the Polyjuice Potion.”
Shit. There went his plan. “You mean they still smell like themselves? Even Anamagi?”
“No. I was thinking of humans that alter their appearance. Like metamorphmagi. They smell the same. But when McGonnagall changes, she just smells like a cat.”
“Good!” Sirius sighed, relieved.
“Well, I don’t particularly fancy cats.”
“No, that’s not what I mean. James and I were thinking . . .”
A/N: This will probably be my last update for a while. My original Chapter 8 was supershort and mostly implied they lived happily ever after (they must if there is no Peter!). So I'd like to continue it but probably not until my spring break in a few weeks.. What I would really like to do is go back through the story and flesh it out with some extra scenes, such as what REALLY happened between Remus and Sirius during their private time. It's all in my head, now if only I could get it down on paper . . .