(no subject)
My life is really good. Especially considering where I was four years ago. I realized this tonight quite suddenly while driving home from a friend I've known since high school's house. Same friend, same road home, same car, totally new me. In my three going on four years at college I have gained respect for myself. That might sound weird I mean that I've learned about myself, how to make myself happy and the things that matter most to me. I can't say I've learned how to like myself but I'm definitely working on that.
I've realized now what I want to do is be with the man I love and who truly accepts me for who I am and adores my flaws right down to my fucked-up ripped off toenails. I want to be with him. I want to see the world with him. Being kindred to me I know he wants to travel too and this life could happen. Finding the perfect career isn't a necessity and I need to stop worrying about my degree. Work isn't life. What's that cheesy saying? "Life is what happens while you're making other plans" Well, I'm beginning to see the amazing depth in such a standard line.
I'm leaving for Africa in three days to be with him. Now that I am in love I look back to the relationship that broke my heart in high school. How silly I was, how young and stupid. How unfair of the boy (I don't know if I should write man or boy) 5 years older than me to break such a fragile heart. The feeling I have now are so overpowering and at the same time I'm reassured. He's thousands of miles away but I trust him.
I don't know why but tonight feels like summer in the best way. It feels like the laziness and carelessness of past summers but I'm so much more in control of myself and don't need any validation.
Why can't all nights be like this?
I've realized now what I want to do is be with the man I love and who truly accepts me for who I am and adores my flaws right down to my fucked-up ripped off toenails. I want to be with him. I want to see the world with him. Being kindred to me I know he wants to travel too and this life could happen. Finding the perfect career isn't a necessity and I need to stop worrying about my degree. Work isn't life. What's that cheesy saying? "Life is what happens while you're making other plans" Well, I'm beginning to see the amazing depth in such a standard line.
I'm leaving for Africa in three days to be with him. Now that I am in love I look back to the relationship that broke my heart in high school. How silly I was, how young and stupid. How unfair of the boy (I don't know if I should write man or boy) 5 years older than me to break such a fragile heart. The feeling I have now are so overpowering and at the same time I'm reassured. He's thousands of miles away but I trust him.
I don't know why but tonight feels like summer in the best way. It feels like the laziness and carelessness of past summers but I'm so much more in control of myself and don't need any validation.
Why can't all nights be like this?