Another semester
Another semester, my third year of college is upon me. It's bizarre. This year more than ever I feel like I don't belong here. I sit around in pajamas staring at pages of policies I should read and I don't. I sleep all the time. I don't want to drink but it's one of the few comforts, an escape from constantly worrying about balancing equations. I've also started smoking pot again. Well I've smoked a few times. I wish I had the free time to do it more often. It leaves me feeling blank, spacy, but I don't mind. It's like turning off my brain for awhile.
I'm living in a townhouse with my rooommates from last year. A lot of things are broken but it's nice. Very grown-up. Each of us pays a different bill: water, electricity, and cable.
My interdisciplinary major will probably get approved next semester. I'm already taking classes for it: Int'l and Compartive Politics, Environmental Ethics, Environmental Conservation w/Lab, and Chemistry w/Lab. I don't know if this is what I want to do. The work load is more than I bargained for. I still think I'd like to study abroad next year..somehow.
I'm working at my school book store once a week to have some pocket money. Also, I'm volunteering at a nearby "living museum," as a herpetologist (reptiles) assistant.
I hope it's just that beginning of the semester feeling but I feel completely out of it. I walk around doing nothing, not wanting to sleep but not wanting to be awake, until my roommate comes and makes me go to bed. Like a fucking child.
I have my first exam (in Chem) tommorow. This is the 4th week we've been back. I stopped talking to a guy that I met at the end of last year. We talked all summer and I was pretty sure we would date...then I went to Europe and everything changed.
Europe seems to have changed everything. I'm envious of the life-style...I'm convinced not everyone needs college. All I want to do is travel the world and be a bum.
My nails are a bright orange; I painted them drunk at this kid who I see randomly at parties' 21st birthday party Saturday night. There's also permanent marker all over my hands. I vaguely remember writing all over people that happened to walk beside me.
I drink pretty heavily but only Thurs, Fri, Sat. There's nothing else to do.
I have a crush on a cute stoner with long grungy hair and a tongue ring in my Chem lab. He rarely shows up for class. I'd like to reform his life.
I find it hard to get out of bed because I keep having intricate, entertaining dreams that seem much interesting than my actual life...
I'm living in a townhouse with my rooommates from last year. A lot of things are broken but it's nice. Very grown-up. Each of us pays a different bill: water, electricity, and cable.
My interdisciplinary major will probably get approved next semester. I'm already taking classes for it: Int'l and Compartive Politics, Environmental Ethics, Environmental Conservation w/Lab, and Chemistry w/Lab. I don't know if this is what I want to do. The work load is more than I bargained for. I still think I'd like to study abroad next year..somehow.
I'm working at my school book store once a week to have some pocket money. Also, I'm volunteering at a nearby "living museum," as a herpetologist (reptiles) assistant.
I hope it's just that beginning of the semester feeling but I feel completely out of it. I walk around doing nothing, not wanting to sleep but not wanting to be awake, until my roommate comes and makes me go to bed. Like a fucking child.
I have my first exam (in Chem) tommorow. This is the 4th week we've been back. I stopped talking to a guy that I met at the end of last year. We talked all summer and I was pretty sure we would date...then I went to Europe and everything changed.
Europe seems to have changed everything. I'm envious of the life-style...I'm convinced not everyone needs college. All I want to do is travel the world and be a bum.
My nails are a bright orange; I painted them drunk at this kid who I see randomly at parties' 21st birthday party Saturday night. There's also permanent marker all over my hands. I vaguely remember writing all over people that happened to walk beside me.
I drink pretty heavily but only Thurs, Fri, Sat. There's nothing else to do.
I have a crush on a cute stoner with long grungy hair and a tongue ring in my Chem lab. He rarely shows up for class. I'd like to reform his life.
I find it hard to get out of bed because I keep having intricate, entertaining dreams that seem much interesting than my actual life...