(no subject)
tonight i went to cameron's house for his birthday. it was..a night of watching people do stupid things, which all resulted in some sort of remembering things that have happened before. pretty much three things happened:
1) a friend of mine, through cameron, got completely wasted. normally he's fine while doing this, but tonight he went beyond his limit. he was so drunk he was seeing things and talking about things you force yourself to forget. things you put away in the back of your mind and keep there. locked. trying to keep locked there forever. tonight he couldn't keep them there and he lost it. what had happened to him was he brought up old memories that were not that great to say the least. after witnessing this, i wont lie; it got me thinking about those buried bodies in the backyard, i guess you could say. but hey, you can't stay in your superficially happy body suit all the time now can you?
2) ever see someone you really like, whether boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend, do something so incredibly stupid? i can't say i felt betrayed, but it definately sucked. it was impossible for me to remain in the same room or look at the person the same way. after all was said and done, i offered to punch them in the face each time it ever happened, if it ever happened again. hey, what can i say? seeing that done by someone you care about makes you hate them a little. almost, or should even, make you think much, much less of that person.
3) one of the few decent points of the night was meeting cameron's best friend. not much i can really think of to say here other than he seems pretty cool.
all i've been able to do really for the past hour or so is sit here - thinking. good, bad, everything. what i could do; what i should do; what i could've done; what i should've done; why i don't do this; why i don't do that; why i don't tell everything; why i keep it all a secret.
1) a friend of mine, through cameron, got completely wasted. normally he's fine while doing this, but tonight he went beyond his limit. he was so drunk he was seeing things and talking about things you force yourself to forget. things you put away in the back of your mind and keep there. locked. trying to keep locked there forever. tonight he couldn't keep them there and he lost it. what had happened to him was he brought up old memories that were not that great to say the least. after witnessing this, i wont lie; it got me thinking about those buried bodies in the backyard, i guess you could say. but hey, you can't stay in your superficially happy body suit all the time now can you?
2) ever see someone you really like, whether boyfriend, girlfriend, or friend, do something so incredibly stupid? i can't say i felt betrayed, but it definately sucked. it was impossible for me to remain in the same room or look at the person the same way. after all was said and done, i offered to punch them in the face each time it ever happened, if it ever happened again. hey, what can i say? seeing that done by someone you care about makes you hate them a little. almost, or should even, make you think much, much less of that person.
3) one of the few decent points of the night was meeting cameron's best friend. not much i can really think of to say here other than he seems pretty cool.
all i've been able to do really for the past hour or so is sit here - thinking. good, bad, everything. what i could do; what i should do; what i could've done; what i should've done; why i don't do this; why i don't do that; why i don't tell everything; why i keep it all a secret.