(no subject)
I had a very humbling, thought-provoking dream this morning...
It started out by me leaving my mother's house after drinking two or three beers, and returning to Edinburg. It was a Sunday afternoon, around 7:00 pm, when I left my mother's house, and while traveling, I black out. Suffice to say, I never made it back to Edinburg.
The thing is, I didn't know I had died in my dream. Not yet at least. I don't remember (in the dream, I don't remember) any events of me dying, but I had been roaming around in Limbo as a spectre of my former self.
I couldn't come to terms with dying at such a young age, especially with all my goals that I deem necessary for my existence which were not completed due to my sudden demise. Without being able to let go, I was forced to wander the nether for eternity.
My first day dead, so to speak, dealt with my roommates fishing like we often do during college vacations. They were at this beautiful river catching many fish of all sizes, fat, skinny, long, short. I'm standing at the end of the walkway opposite of the pier watching them fish, wishing I was stil alive to partake. Koester starts to walk in my direction and pours out chum water off the side of the pier. I saw it in his eyes that he could detect someone near, and communicating with him proved difficult. At one point, he seemed to look right into my eyes as I was trying to communicate with him, but then he turned back to the pier and proceeded to fish.
Instantly, I find myself at an old elementary school reunion. Everyone I remember was there, physically, except for me. One thing, being an avid fan of ghost lore, I learned was you need to draw in energy from sources to be able to communicate to the living. I did exactly that, absorbing energy from light sockets, batteries, etc. When I felt the energy racing through my ethereal veins, I tapped and old friend, Mike Vazquez, on the shoulder. Frightened, he turns around and sees that noone was around him. I do the same thing to a girl I have never met before, and needless to say, she was spooked too.
I'm still haunting that reunion, when a beautiful blonde woman looks directly at me. Her eyes a piercing blue, starring directly at me, widened and judgmental. She speaks to me.
"Hello," she said.
"You can see me?" I replied.
"Yes, I can see you plain as day."
"But I'm dead."
"I know. I can still see you. You were so young."
"I was 21...I had so many things in life I wanted to accomplish..." I said.
"Like what?"
"Mostly, I wanted to ensure that my mother stays safe. She always worried about me dying, saying that if I ever did, she would just die herself...I don't want her to live the rest of her life lamenting over her dead son," I replied. "I also wanted to publish my books. I feel that they would have been great pieces of literature...but now, I'll never know..."
Without saying anything at all, the woman approached me and embraced me. I couldn't see how, but I embraced her back. It was the most warm, loving, kindest embrace I have ever experienced. It felt like when you embrace a dearly loved one you haven't in some time for the first time in a long time. Except, I didn't know this woman. Perhaps she was a angel sent by the Divine to lead me to Heaven, but I was too "overburdened" to see it.
The last scene deals with me sitting in front of my Grandmother's house. She had died when I was a freshman in high school. Her house was basically turned to ruin, and I sat in what used to be her drive-way and an old, dusty couch.
I walked inside to take a look at the house. It was just like I remembered when she lived: always bright, trinkets mounted on shelves, the smell of onion and garlic lingering about the home. I was shocked because the outside looks decayed, but the inside remained the same. I sat on her couch and started at two lights on the ceiling fan, one was red, and the other white.
I started to stare at the red light more and more, and then felt this unnerving sense of agony, despair. I began to see flames, and I experienced a type of horror that cannot ever be experienced in life; a horror that was fear of the unknown, fear of torment, fear of self-loathing, fear of the shadows.
I fell to the floor in a fetal position, eyes forcefully shut.
"I don't want to go to Hell," I said to myself.
"I don't want to see the face of demons," I kept saying to myself, believing seeing the minions of the Betrayer would seal my fate in Hell
One word kept still within my head. This one word kept clarity within my mind, my soul.
God.
In an instant, the flames of Hell were extinguished, but I was still stuck in Limbo.
I returned back to the rotting couch outside and sat, finally realizing my fate, and sat in dismay. I felt I would be spending the rest of eternity in neutrality, unfortunately, not basking in Heaven's warm glow, fortunately, not frying in Hell. I would live out eternity in mediocrity as I did in life...what was the point of dying then?
My mother then pulls into the drive-way, walks straight towards me, and gives me what appears to be a $20, but instead of the front having the picture of Andrew Jackson, it said this.
"You have not passed away. In fact, you are healthier than ever before." (Upon thinking about it earlier, it was a clean "bill" of health)
I began to walk side by side with my mother, and she told me about the accident, and said the only things that survived the crash was me and a pack of cigarettes that froze to the floor because of an anti-freeze spill that my brother scraped out of the car. She then showed me a picture of what my car looked like...was nothing but twisted metal...
One of the best dreams I have ever had...
It started out by me leaving my mother's house after drinking two or three beers, and returning to Edinburg. It was a Sunday afternoon, around 7:00 pm, when I left my mother's house, and while traveling, I black out. Suffice to say, I never made it back to Edinburg.
The thing is, I didn't know I had died in my dream. Not yet at least. I don't remember (in the dream, I don't remember) any events of me dying, but I had been roaming around in Limbo as a spectre of my former self.
I couldn't come to terms with dying at such a young age, especially with all my goals that I deem necessary for my existence which were not completed due to my sudden demise. Without being able to let go, I was forced to wander the nether for eternity.
My first day dead, so to speak, dealt with my roommates fishing like we often do during college vacations. They were at this beautiful river catching many fish of all sizes, fat, skinny, long, short. I'm standing at the end of the walkway opposite of the pier watching them fish, wishing I was stil alive to partake. Koester starts to walk in my direction and pours out chum water off the side of the pier. I saw it in his eyes that he could detect someone near, and communicating with him proved difficult. At one point, he seemed to look right into my eyes as I was trying to communicate with him, but then he turned back to the pier and proceeded to fish.
Instantly, I find myself at an old elementary school reunion. Everyone I remember was there, physically, except for me. One thing, being an avid fan of ghost lore, I learned was you need to draw in energy from sources to be able to communicate to the living. I did exactly that, absorbing energy from light sockets, batteries, etc. When I felt the energy racing through my ethereal veins, I tapped and old friend, Mike Vazquez, on the shoulder. Frightened, he turns around and sees that noone was around him. I do the same thing to a girl I have never met before, and needless to say, she was spooked too.
I'm still haunting that reunion, when a beautiful blonde woman looks directly at me. Her eyes a piercing blue, starring directly at me, widened and judgmental. She speaks to me.
"Hello," she said.
"You can see me?" I replied.
"Yes, I can see you plain as day."
"But I'm dead."
"I know. I can still see you. You were so young."
"I was 21...I had so many things in life I wanted to accomplish..." I said.
"Like what?"
"Mostly, I wanted to ensure that my mother stays safe. She always worried about me dying, saying that if I ever did, she would just die herself...I don't want her to live the rest of her life lamenting over her dead son," I replied. "I also wanted to publish my books. I feel that they would have been great pieces of literature...but now, I'll never know..."
Without saying anything at all, the woman approached me and embraced me. I couldn't see how, but I embraced her back. It was the most warm, loving, kindest embrace I have ever experienced. It felt like when you embrace a dearly loved one you haven't in some time for the first time in a long time. Except, I didn't know this woman. Perhaps she was a angel sent by the Divine to lead me to Heaven, but I was too "overburdened" to see it.
The last scene deals with me sitting in front of my Grandmother's house. She had died when I was a freshman in high school. Her house was basically turned to ruin, and I sat in what used to be her drive-way and an old, dusty couch.
I walked inside to take a look at the house. It was just like I remembered when she lived: always bright, trinkets mounted on shelves, the smell of onion and garlic lingering about the home. I was shocked because the outside looks decayed, but the inside remained the same. I sat on her couch and started at two lights on the ceiling fan, one was red, and the other white.
I started to stare at the red light more and more, and then felt this unnerving sense of agony, despair. I began to see flames, and I experienced a type of horror that cannot ever be experienced in life; a horror that was fear of the unknown, fear of torment, fear of self-loathing, fear of the shadows.
I fell to the floor in a fetal position, eyes forcefully shut.
"I don't want to go to Hell," I said to myself.
"I don't want to see the face of demons," I kept saying to myself, believing seeing the minions of the Betrayer would seal my fate in Hell
One word kept still within my head. This one word kept clarity within my mind, my soul.
God.
In an instant, the flames of Hell were extinguished, but I was still stuck in Limbo.
I returned back to the rotting couch outside and sat, finally realizing my fate, and sat in dismay. I felt I would be spending the rest of eternity in neutrality, unfortunately, not basking in Heaven's warm glow, fortunately, not frying in Hell. I would live out eternity in mediocrity as I did in life...what was the point of dying then?
My mother then pulls into the drive-way, walks straight towards me, and gives me what appears to be a $20, but instead of the front having the picture of Andrew Jackson, it said this.
"You have not passed away. In fact, you are healthier than ever before." (Upon thinking about it earlier, it was a clean "bill" of health)
I began to walk side by side with my mother, and she told me about the accident, and said the only things that survived the crash was me and a pack of cigarettes that froze to the floor because of an anti-freeze spill that my brother scraped out of the car. She then showed me a picture of what my car looked like...was nothing but twisted metal...
One of the best dreams I have ever had...