you must just not know, you may not think you do, but you do, everytime i think of you i puke

[h_neal]

it makes me sick to my stomach. its terrbile. its the most fucked up thing. there's nothing i can do about it. i'm sick of hating it and wishing i didn't. fuck it. get over it.

there's a sudden change. i can't pinpoint it. but its something. ugh i wish i could crawl into a cave and never come back out.