4:00
The meantime girl
She’s the one you call when you need an instant date to your next company party. She’s the first person you can think of calling when you just had a fight with “the girl”. She willingly gives you the “woman’s perspective” on anything without getting all emotional and sentimental about every single thing. You love hanging out with her because, she’s funny, she’s quirky and for the meantime, she’s not interested in relationships which makes it perfect for you (she’ll joke about your “player” reputation instead of frowning about it). You love calling her because she doesn't get into fights with you about why you didn't call earlier or anything trivial like the way you dress, or why you put too much gel on your hair. You never have to try hard to look nice when you come and see her. Although she is not afraid to make fun of you and tell you how stupid you look with your new highlights. You never have to open doors for her or douse yourself with perfume because you know for sure, she will make fun of you. There’s no awkward silence in your conversations and you never have to worry about making stupid jokes just to fill the silence because you know, she will make you feel silly about your corny jokes.
Your relationship with the meantime girl is based more on silliness, wise cracks, insults and occasional flirting. You know she will make fun of you when tell her details of your rendezvous with “the girl” but you tell her anyway because it’s so much fun when you can laugh at something that seemed absurd at the time without bruising your ego. Plus, the stories become really funny anecdotes you can actually retell over and over again. It works both ways because she will tell you details of her dates with her exes and you crack each other up simply because her stories make you feel less of an idiot afterwards.
She’s actually quite a challenge to be friends with if not for her very engaging sense of humor. She can come up with a million definitions for “moron” and “idiot” and she’s not afraid to use them on you. She’s brutally honest and she hits you more times than you care to count. She will suggest books for you to read but expect that she will mess up the ending of books you haven’t read or even movies or TV shows you haven’t seen. She has PMS almost constantly and will insult you at every opportunity. She eats as much as you do and actually finishes her food when you eat out. She takes advantage of the fact that you can legally drive and with all the free dating tips she gives you, you feel obliged to be her personal chauffeur.
And of course, beyond her i-don’t-need-a-man exterior, she has that peculiar, almost adorable way of making you feel that what you say or do actually matters. You have mastered the art of taking note of every single little thing because she taught you that girls get gaga over these “little” things. She will help you pick out the perfect gift for “the one”. You now know the value of compliment even if it’s the simplest thing you can possibly come up with. And she made it easier to understand why girls can never have enough bags or shoes or lip gloss. Or why girls get so irritated at certain times of the month.
Your relationship with the meantime girl is perfect simply because you never have to try too hard to make it work - no emotional melodramas, no complex relationship stuff that always makes you go crazy. At the same time, she has the sensitivity of a real best friend in a way that she can read you than most of the guys you’ve ever hung out with. She can tell almost instantly when you’re feeling bad about something and offer you a quick trip to the nearest coffee place so you can talk about emotional stuff without feeling like an idiot (strangely enough, these talks don’t feel as strangulating as when you have the “real talk” with the “real” girl). She is always available when you need to talk or to hang out with anyone else who can talk about anything other than basketball. And it’s almost amazing that you’ve never actually pictured her to take the place of “the girl” even when you can almost swear you two have had your “moments”. Of which, you can remember her giving you the don’t-you-dare-fall-in-love-with-me look that she seemed to have perfected over the years.
Admit it. Being with the meantime girl makes you think of being with “the one”; especially, because there’s something about her that you can’t seem to get enough of. The truth is, she is more attractive and smarter than most of the girls you’ve ever gone out with. You have been a witness of how she grew into this beautiful woman anyone would be crazy not to spend forever with. You’ve had moments when you try to convince yourself to think of her as the girl friend, the alternative to your guy friends, and not as a “real” woman who can take the place of “the girl”. And though in moments of heightened loneliness, you sometimes think of the possibility of something happening between you and the meantime girl but you are too scared to tell her how you feel. What you feel for her is something so difficult to define that it wouldn't be fair to consider possibilities of anything romantic happening between the two of you. Plus, the fact that you know more about her personal life, i.e. her past dating experiences than any other guy, makes you feel that going beyond friendship would mean betraying her trust.
But deep down, if you really think about it which you probably don't because to you, the situation between the two of you isn't important enough to merit any real thought, you know that it's really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don't think she's good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it's mostly her fault, because she doesn't have to give in to your needs -- she could play the hard-to-get b**** like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn't pull it off. Maybe she's too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You'll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she'll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.
She doesn't captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She's safe. She doesn't want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone's head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you've ever known because she's had a front-row seat to The-Mess-That-Is-Your-Life, and she likes you, anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you've given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
So instead, meantime boy, you prefer to keep quiet and enjoy the company of the meantime girl. It’s comforting because it’s safe. There are no expectations to take things to the next level. No pressure. No real worries. Plus, being with her has tested all your capabilities to be with “the one”. And when that time comes, you know that all the conflicting emotions you have for the meantime girl would dissolve. Though in the back of your mind, you hope that this “meantime-ness” would remain and that your meantime girl wouldn't rush to be someone else’s forever. You’d hope she’ll be by your side to pick you up in case you fall down again. Really, there is no reason to doubt the value of her existence. You have reason to hope for the best in your future relationships. After all, you’ve had years and years of practice.
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Too good to be true?