I've read this a few dozen times and I'm still not sure what to say to it. I've been trying to think of something to update on my side and haven't been able to find the words so you even coming up with this is something to me. What you say to me in private means more to me anyway. It's going to be a long road and I'm glad you know that. Some things don't come easily but that just makes them all the better when they end up happening. I love you.
The words are so hard on this, aren't they? I find myself torn about what to say most of the time too. But I knew I had to say something. And yeah, things are going to be hard, we're still going to have moments of being angry or hurt or terrified. But we'll get through them, won't we? You let me go and I came back to you. I realize now who I'm meant to be with.
They are hard, yes. Mostly I've just stayed hidden away while I get used to things again and try to make sense of it all. We'll take it all one day, one decision, even one moment at a time if we have to. I hoped...I hoped against all hope that you'd come back. Someone told me I had to let you hit bottom before anything would get better but I hated thinking of it in those terms. If it meant that you realized that though, I suppose it was the best thing that could happen.
I think that it had to happen. I had to rip apart all those preconceived notions about what our relationship should have been and how things with Aaralyn were supposed to go. That all had to go away so that we could figure it on our own. I never realized how much pressure I was putting on us. Which I'm still sorry for :[.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment