The Beginning of the End of Retail Hell
Ok everybody, I FINALLY gave my notice at Benetton today that I'm about to quit in a couple of days. Granted, it wasn't the usual "2 weeks" we've all come come to expect out of these situations, but I really consider that concept to be much more of a suggestion than a requirement. Either way, sucks to their ass-mar over the loss of me. I'm especially enjoying telling people that I'm quitting, everybody's got a sense of optimistic empathy for me that gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. Cuz after two and a half years, it's about freakin' time.
So, here's what I've learned about retail:
- the mystical "back" room is awfully disappointing once you discover what it really is: small, dark, and with shelves SO high it'll make mountaineers develop vertigo
- shopping's a form of therapy that's easily manipulated, one compliment and you've got them eating out of the palm of your hand
- during ALL emergencies (blackouts, Jubilee's getting robbed for the 37th time), push customers out the store and lock the doors
- mall security guards can be incredibly hot, but also incredibly useless during actual problems (anticipate a 30-minute delay in arrival, or none whatsoever)
and ...
- there's nothing more entertaining, or that travels faster, than mall gossip. Your nickname will be store name + boy/girl, especially if it's alliteration-able (eg. Benetton Boy, Godiva Girl, Siren Slut, etc.)
Sunday's my last day, whoo!