Last Christmas....
Slipping and sliding in the slush on my way to campus, my mind drifted to remembering where I was this time last year. It was the Christmas Choir Concert at Hendricks that jogged my memory. Rose told me she went last night and it brought me back to last year. I didn't go to the concert, but I was taking photos at the tree lighting because I was trying to get my stuff for my photo portfolio done. At that point my grandfather wasn't doing well and I remember choking back the tears as I fired my shutter. I remember talking to Alex, who was very kind and understanding and was trying to get me to go inside for the concert, but I knew that if I went in the Christmas music would make me ball my eyes out.
I am pretty sure the anniversary of my grandfather's death is tomorrow. I'll go visit him when I go home for break. Unlike my other grandparents, I actually know where his cemetery is. It's so wierd that it's only been a year. It feels like so much longer because I didn't see much of him after I left for school and for so long it felt like he was gone anyway because of the alzheimers.
I still miss him a lot. Same with my Meme and Pepe and Uncle Dennis. Like I really wish Dennis could come to a football game at SU. I know he'd love to see me on the steps of Hendricks doing the pre-game show and I know he would really have loved the half time show this year, especially Pines of Rome (well that wasn't half time, but yeah.) And I know he'd think my Sitrus get up is a riot. I know he would be so proud that I'm still musical in college. he was always so supportive of me doing band and was always telling me to practice. Well, I'm still not good at my instruments, but I know he'd appreciate that I try to be musical. Maybe when I go to grad school I can find an ensemble or get lessons to try to stay connected. I really can't picture my life without band. It would be so much easier if I were actually talented, like Dennis, so I could just rock out. I most clearly remember him practicing his saxophone in the shed at my grandparents' house.
Christmas is always such a bizarre season for me. I get so stressed over finals, my family is so disjointed (and I know everyone has a dysfunctional family and they are lying if they say otherwise) but since my Meme passed my family has not had a normal holiday, it always seems so fake and forced. But that's just my family.
And then I remember the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus was BORN! Mary immaculately conceived a child, my savior. He was born to set me free. Beautiful, precious, glorious.
Oh happy Christmas...
I am pretty sure the anniversary of my grandfather's death is tomorrow. I'll go visit him when I go home for break. Unlike my other grandparents, I actually know where his cemetery is. It's so wierd that it's only been a year. It feels like so much longer because I didn't see much of him after I left for school and for so long it felt like he was gone anyway because of the alzheimers.
I still miss him a lot. Same with my Meme and Pepe and Uncle Dennis. Like I really wish Dennis could come to a football game at SU. I know he'd love to see me on the steps of Hendricks doing the pre-game show and I know he would really have loved the half time show this year, especially Pines of Rome (well that wasn't half time, but yeah.) And I know he'd think my Sitrus get up is a riot. I know he would be so proud that I'm still musical in college. he was always so supportive of me doing band and was always telling me to practice. Well, I'm still not good at my instruments, but I know he'd appreciate that I try to be musical. Maybe when I go to grad school I can find an ensemble or get lessons to try to stay connected. I really can't picture my life without band. It would be so much easier if I were actually talented, like Dennis, so I could just rock out. I most clearly remember him practicing his saxophone in the shed at my grandparents' house.
Christmas is always such a bizarre season for me. I get so stressed over finals, my family is so disjointed (and I know everyone has a dysfunctional family and they are lying if they say otherwise) but since my Meme passed my family has not had a normal holiday, it always seems so fake and forced. But that's just my family.
And then I remember the true meaning of Christmas. Jesus was BORN! Mary immaculately conceived a child, my savior. He was born to set me free. Beautiful, precious, glorious.
Oh happy Christmas...