If You Are Male, Do Not Get WIthin a One Foot Radius of Me Unless I Say Different
I was going to title this entry I'm done with men. Then I realized how much of a ridiculous statement that would be, because while I am taking a break from men, I am not done with them. I still plan on getting married at some point. I will always have friends that are boys. But right now I want to put as much distance between myself and members of the opposite sex as possible.
It might sound completely ridiculous, but I just want space between me and boys. Some friendships will continue as normal. That would be the boys that I know will always be strictly friends and have been my friends for more than a year. (These boys have been friends for two years plus in all actuality.) As for other friendships, I plan on spacing myself a bit. No more hugs from boys. A lot less touching in general (I am really convicted on being less touchy feely because while it means nothing, it sure does not look like nothing to the casual observer.) I just really want space. Well, more so me knowing that I need space. I am far too focused on finding a man. And while there is nothing wrong with desiring to be married (and yes I know I am meant to be married) God's given me this season of singleness for a reason and I truly want to learn to treasure this time in my life. I am far too future oriented. My life is never going to be perfect. Life is dynamic and constantly changing and I will never stay where I am for too long. But I want to be in love with God. I want to be content with me. Those two things do last, through the grace of God. I am sick of discontent. I am sick of just surviving. God called me to more than that.
I am fully aware that my value does not come from being in a relationship. But I have come to realize that my desire for a relationship is bordering on obsessive and I want to stop putting unnecessary energy into that spectrum of my life. The means that I plan on doing so may seem to be extreme and rather radical, but I know I really need that distance and it is what will help me in the long run. More important than the measures I take in my relationships with boys are the measures I take in my relationship with God and seeking Him in all of this.
Jesus is my main squeeze.
I want to live that truth.
There are a lot of things going on in my life (of course, when is there not?) But I have been saying for the past year that I really want to become an adult in Christ. What does a woman of God look like? Well, one thing I know is that she realizes that only God can love her as she was made to be loved and desires to be loved. I want to experience that love in a way I've never experienced it before. I want to love God the way He deserves to be loved. There are boys in my life that are distracting me from that, even though they do not mean to and would probably be horrified to discover that they are doing so.
And through all of this I know God will help me grow and work through a lot of other areas in my life that need to be washed clean by His grace.
I need a catharsis and I need it bad. And only Jesus can fully wash me clean and make me new.
It might sound completely ridiculous, but I just want space between me and boys. Some friendships will continue as normal. That would be the boys that I know will always be strictly friends and have been my friends for more than a year. (These boys have been friends for two years plus in all actuality.) As for other friendships, I plan on spacing myself a bit. No more hugs from boys. A lot less touching in general (I am really convicted on being less touchy feely because while it means nothing, it sure does not look like nothing to the casual observer.) I just really want space. Well, more so me knowing that I need space. I am far too focused on finding a man. And while there is nothing wrong with desiring to be married (and yes I know I am meant to be married) God's given me this season of singleness for a reason and I truly want to learn to treasure this time in my life. I am far too future oriented. My life is never going to be perfect. Life is dynamic and constantly changing and I will never stay where I am for too long. But I want to be in love with God. I want to be content with me. Those two things do last, through the grace of God. I am sick of discontent. I am sick of just surviving. God called me to more than that.
I am fully aware that my value does not come from being in a relationship. But I have come to realize that my desire for a relationship is bordering on obsessive and I want to stop putting unnecessary energy into that spectrum of my life. The means that I plan on doing so may seem to be extreme and rather radical, but I know I really need that distance and it is what will help me in the long run. More important than the measures I take in my relationships with boys are the measures I take in my relationship with God and seeking Him in all of this.
Jesus is my main squeeze.
I want to live that truth.
There are a lot of things going on in my life (of course, when is there not?) But I have been saying for the past year that I really want to become an adult in Christ. What does a woman of God look like? Well, one thing I know is that she realizes that only God can love her as she was made to be loved and desires to be loved. I want to experience that love in a way I've never experienced it before. I want to love God the way He deserves to be loved. There are boys in my life that are distracting me from that, even though they do not mean to and would probably be horrified to discover that they are doing so.
And through all of this I know God will help me grow and work through a lot of other areas in my life that need to be washed clean by His grace.
I need a catharsis and I need it bad. And only Jesus can fully wash me clean and make me new.