press the shutter and free your soul
I'm starting to feel like I'm in a pressure cooker, but at the same time, I know how little school really matters in the big scheme of things. Yes, it is important and I am going to do the best I can. But I'm not going to make myself sick over school anymore. I'm done with that.
I guess photo is what is stressing me out. I feel like I have no time to go out and shoot pictures. Mainly I've just been bringing my camera out to tag along for silly things and haven't been taking time to compose those pictures. For class I have to actually think about what I'm shooting as oppossed to letting it just flow. Yes, part of it is my natural ability, but right now it's taking that rough gem stone, cutting it creating multi-facted edges to create more depth and levels so that I can truly sparkle with the radiance that was always there. I'm not scared so much now, more so weary. It takes a lot. It's not about just taking pictures anymore, I'll be making my pictures. I'll be more in control of what my camera captures. It's not a bad thing. Making something of real beauty requires effort. I have beautiful things inside of me. Now it is a matter of using my God given talent to use the beauty inside to create beauty I can share with others.
It's truly amazing to see how much my perspective has changed in a year. I mellowed out a lot last year and I am even more mellow now. I'm not as uptight as I used to be, though I still am a rather tense person, but I have a stronger grip on who I am and what truly matters in life. I see things so much more clearly now. I know what matters.
I have beautiful photographs in my room that I have taken. I have the ability to do amazing things. Now it is a matter of trusting that.
I'm debating on going abroad next fall. If I were to go abroad, the only place I could go is London. (Which would be flipping sweet.) I really love the idea of doing photo shoots in London and being able to travel around the rest of Europe. Thinking about it now though, I really lack the money to be going out and buying train/plane tickets to visit other places. I'd hate not to have that ability. Meeh.
I really don't know. I really like the idea. There are a few cons though. I'd miss that semester of band, which would suck. It would be my last semester of band with Erin and I'd miss that a lot. There is also the fact that many of my friends are a year older than me. I'd have one semester with them before they graduate if I went abroad. That's not a huge factor, but it is something I am thinking about. I love those people immensely and are very dear to my heart. We'll always be friends and we'll stay in touch, but I don't know if I want to miss that time with them at college. College is special. I'm not too worried about the idea of going to London. It's something I'll be spending a lot of time praying about and thinking through. God has a plan for me and He knows where He wants me.
He hears me.
He'll answer.
I finally have confidence in God now. I am assured in the promises I have. It's so amazing and completely freeing.
God has started radical changes in my life. Changes that started long ago and are starting to swing in full gear. We only see frame by frame, a glimpse of each scene, but God sees the movie, He sees how each scene plays into the next, He sees how everything is interwoven. It's all for the bigger picture.
And what a picture it is.
I guess photo is what is stressing me out. I feel like I have no time to go out and shoot pictures. Mainly I've just been bringing my camera out to tag along for silly things and haven't been taking time to compose those pictures. For class I have to actually think about what I'm shooting as oppossed to letting it just flow. Yes, part of it is my natural ability, but right now it's taking that rough gem stone, cutting it creating multi-facted edges to create more depth and levels so that I can truly sparkle with the radiance that was always there. I'm not scared so much now, more so weary. It takes a lot. It's not about just taking pictures anymore, I'll be making my pictures. I'll be more in control of what my camera captures. It's not a bad thing. Making something of real beauty requires effort. I have beautiful things inside of me. Now it is a matter of using my God given talent to use the beauty inside to create beauty I can share with others.
It's truly amazing to see how much my perspective has changed in a year. I mellowed out a lot last year and I am even more mellow now. I'm not as uptight as I used to be, though I still am a rather tense person, but I have a stronger grip on who I am and what truly matters in life. I see things so much more clearly now. I know what matters.
I have beautiful photographs in my room that I have taken. I have the ability to do amazing things. Now it is a matter of trusting that.
I'm debating on going abroad next fall. If I were to go abroad, the only place I could go is London. (Which would be flipping sweet.) I really love the idea of doing photo shoots in London and being able to travel around the rest of Europe. Thinking about it now though, I really lack the money to be going out and buying train/plane tickets to visit other places. I'd hate not to have that ability. Meeh.
I really don't know. I really like the idea. There are a few cons though. I'd miss that semester of band, which would suck. It would be my last semester of band with Erin and I'd miss that a lot. There is also the fact that many of my friends are a year older than me. I'd have one semester with them before they graduate if I went abroad. That's not a huge factor, but it is something I am thinking about. I love those people immensely and are very dear to my heart. We'll always be friends and we'll stay in touch, but I don't know if I want to miss that time with them at college. College is special. I'm not too worried about the idea of going to London. It's something I'll be spending a lot of time praying about and thinking through. God has a plan for me and He knows where He wants me.
He hears me.
He'll answer.
I finally have confidence in God now. I am assured in the promises I have. It's so amazing and completely freeing.
God has started radical changes in my life. Changes that started long ago and are starting to swing in full gear. We only see frame by frame, a glimpse of each scene, but God sees the movie, He sees how each scene plays into the next, He sees how everything is interwoven. It's all for the bigger picture.
And what a picture it is.