Should my steps be rolling?
I'm considering quitting marching band.
For this year anyway.
Anyone who knows me realizes that this is a huge thing. I'm a Christian first, and then everything else second. At the top of that list are band and photography sitting side by side. I love marching band with a flaming passion and the joy it brings me comes second only to the joy I get from my relationship with God.
So band is a pretty big deal for me.
I really don't know how feasible my schedule is this year. If I drop any of my Newhouse courses I'll be at Syracuse for an extra year. The parents will not go for that. No, not at all. and I don't know if I like the idea of being at college for five years. I love school, don't get me wrong. I live for school. But I don't think I belong at Syracuse for five years.
Even if I were to quit band, I still don't know how feasible my schedule is. I took 18 credits fall last semester, so I know I can handle it, but this semester's course load requires far more work and time than my 18 credits last year. Graphics and photo require a lot of lab time. Pretty much, I am going to be living in the Newhouse labs on the weekends. The weekends I don't have football games.
I don't know if I'm just getting over-intimidated by the amount of work I have to do. But I am trying to put everything in perspective so that I don't get completely drained spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Last fall, I had a mental break down. I have a tendency to take on too much and run myself into the ground. I did it all throughout high school and it continues in college. I did better second semester last year, but I still get highly anal about school and grades and become a shut in because I feel that I can do work and only do work and not have any fun.
I can't see myself not doing band. I love it so much. I derive so much joy from it and it's something that is just deep within me. It really breaks my heart I am even considering this, especially with what God placed on my heart over the summer. Was that put there for no reason? I highly doubt it.
So if these are the desires of my heart, I should seek God and all that I need will be added to me. I do not need to worry about tomorrow, it has enough worries and troubles of its own. I just want to make sure I don't take on too much. As it is, I'll be going to Crusade late for half of the semester and I have no time for Bible studies or any ministries. I just feel like I am falling into this big black hole of work.
Feet on the rock.
I don't really know what I should do.
But God knows.
And pretty much, that's all that matters, because it's all His time.
Precious Father be my strength.
For this year anyway.
Anyone who knows me realizes that this is a huge thing. I'm a Christian first, and then everything else second. At the top of that list are band and photography sitting side by side. I love marching band with a flaming passion and the joy it brings me comes second only to the joy I get from my relationship with God.
So band is a pretty big deal for me.
I really don't know how feasible my schedule is this year. If I drop any of my Newhouse courses I'll be at Syracuse for an extra year. The parents will not go for that. No, not at all. and I don't know if I like the idea of being at college for five years. I love school, don't get me wrong. I live for school. But I don't think I belong at Syracuse for five years.
Even if I were to quit band, I still don't know how feasible my schedule is. I took 18 credits fall last semester, so I know I can handle it, but this semester's course load requires far more work and time than my 18 credits last year. Graphics and photo require a lot of lab time. Pretty much, I am going to be living in the Newhouse labs on the weekends. The weekends I don't have football games.
I don't know if I'm just getting over-intimidated by the amount of work I have to do. But I am trying to put everything in perspective so that I don't get completely drained spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Last fall, I had a mental break down. I have a tendency to take on too much and run myself into the ground. I did it all throughout high school and it continues in college. I did better second semester last year, but I still get highly anal about school and grades and become a shut in because I feel that I can do work and only do work and not have any fun.
I can't see myself not doing band. I love it so much. I derive so much joy from it and it's something that is just deep within me. It really breaks my heart I am even considering this, especially with what God placed on my heart over the summer. Was that put there for no reason? I highly doubt it.
So if these are the desires of my heart, I should seek God and all that I need will be added to me. I do not need to worry about tomorrow, it has enough worries and troubles of its own. I just want to make sure I don't take on too much. As it is, I'll be going to Crusade late for half of the semester and I have no time for Bible studies or any ministries. I just feel like I am falling into this big black hole of work.
Feet on the rock.
I don't really know what I should do.
But God knows.
And pretty much, that's all that matters, because it's all His time.
Precious Father be my strength.