It was only just a dream
Twitter is getting too micro to blog properly. Just pretend that actually make sense.
I really should be pissed more often with what I've went through but I don't. I'm like that, I don't dwell on depressing things. Ok, I don't usually dwell on them most of the time. I think this is the one time I'm genuinely mad at someone. Mad enough to text how much and later call at random times and not talk. I know this behaviour is borderline stalking the poor guy but I can't help it. Texting just doesn't cut it, I want him to know how pissed I was verbally.
The story started last Friday. Throughout the 4 months of internship, we interns get monthly vouchers to dine at the coffee house (2 pax) for free. They usually last for a month and my last voucher was due on April 1st (expiry dates vary, the hotel is weird like that). I thought of giving this voucher to my sisters so I did. Booked a table for them on the due date itself. 2 days before April 1st, I went to see him. Long story short, I told my sisters I want to use the voucher after all and took their reservation. Them being my sisters didn't mind but I felt partly guilty. It's like I'm buruk siku as the Malay idiom goes. He told me he'd love to have dinner with me and wanted to try eating there so I obliged. I've never eaten there myself so what the heck. Secretly, I was glad since it'd be like a proper date. Happy as I was, I always kept in my thoughts there's a high possibility he would cancel (tired, stuff to do, friends asked him out, other infuriating excuses etc.) and I decided I would be okay with it if he did.
Well I would if I wasn't the one who had to call so that he can tell me he can't go. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I was ditched. To be fair, I have and been ditched a couple of times. Usually, I'd shrug it off believing it's just karma doing its thing. Not this time. Why? Because this time, I had to call so he can tell me he's ditching me and to make it more /raeg, he bailed an hour before the dinner. Through the phone, he asked me where I was. I lied saying I was at home and I was getting ready when I just woke up from my nap. Just thought I could make him feel bad for bailing. Not so sure if it did, I couldn't care less at that moment. It's not like he didn't apologize but being sorry just doesn't cut it anymore. I mumbled a reply and hung up. I continued my nap since I didn't want to rant to innocent siblings. Woke up again at 11 and sent him a /raeg text haha. For the first time in my 1 year of knowing him, crushing on him, flirting with him and being friends with him, I told him off.
It would be great to know if the text affected him as much as the cancelled dinner had on me. I'm contemplating on meeting up with the gay guy for coffee. A part of me says don't get his colleagues involved but another part of me says I can tell what I want to whoever I want whenever I please.
To be selfish or not to be selfish, that is the question.
I really should be pissed more often with what I've went through but I don't. I'm like that, I don't dwell on depressing things. Ok, I don't usually dwell on them most of the time. I think this is the one time I'm genuinely mad at someone. Mad enough to text how much and later call at random times and not talk. I know this behaviour is borderline stalking the poor guy but I can't help it. Texting just doesn't cut it, I want him to know how pissed I was verbally.
The story started last Friday. Throughout the 4 months of internship, we interns get monthly vouchers to dine at the coffee house (2 pax) for free. They usually last for a month and my last voucher was due on April 1st (expiry dates vary, the hotel is weird like that). I thought of giving this voucher to my sisters so I did. Booked a table for them on the due date itself. 2 days before April 1st, I went to see him. Long story short, I told my sisters I want to use the voucher after all and took their reservation. Them being my sisters didn't mind but I felt partly guilty. It's like I'm buruk siku as the Malay idiom goes. He told me he'd love to have dinner with me and wanted to try eating there so I obliged. I've never eaten there myself so what the heck. Secretly, I was glad since it'd be like a proper date. Happy as I was, I always kept in my thoughts there's a high possibility he would cancel (tired, stuff to do, friends asked him out, other infuriating excuses etc.) and I decided I would be okay with it if he did.
Well I would if I wasn't the one who had to call so that he can tell me he can't go. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I was ditched. To be fair, I have and been ditched a couple of times. Usually, I'd shrug it off believing it's just karma doing its thing. Not this time. Why? Because this time, I had to call so he can tell me he's ditching me and to make it more /raeg, he bailed an hour before the dinner. Through the phone, he asked me where I was. I lied saying I was at home and I was getting ready when I just woke up from my nap. Just thought I could make him feel bad for bailing. Not so sure if it did, I couldn't care less at that moment. It's not like he didn't apologize but being sorry just doesn't cut it anymore. I mumbled a reply and hung up. I continued my nap since I didn't want to rant to innocent siblings. Woke up again at 11 and sent him a /raeg text haha. For the first time in my 1 year of knowing him, crushing on him, flirting with him and being friends with him, I told him off.
It would be great to know if the text affected him as much as the cancelled dinner had on me. I'm contemplating on meeting up with the gay guy for coffee. A part of me says don't get his colleagues involved but another part of me says I can tell what I want to whoever I want whenever I please.
To be selfish or not to be selfish, that is the question.