Drifting Hearts Chapter One

Mar 12, 2010 22:31

Chapter 1

California; sun, sand, the ocean, and everything you could ever want. It’s the place where dreams become reality, or at least that’s what the brochure says.

Jensen closes his eyes for a moment, the rush of air against his skin teasing a smile from his lips. He opens his eyes, hands wrapping tightly around the handlebars of his bike as he starts to pedal more quickly; an incline ahead of him. He reaches the top and pulls at the handlebars, the bike jumping up onto the curb of the sidewalk. He slows, a turn of the bike as he slides to a stop outside the front of the diner.

“Steve won’t be in ‘til four.” A deep voice says as the door swings open.

Jensen drops his pack on one of the tables as he steps inside the diner, a shake of his head. “I can’t.”

“Can’t?” The voice disappears out back. “Thought we talked about can’t.”

Jensen sighs. Sure they’d talked about can’t. There is no can’t or there is no job. “Can I at least call Nora?”

“Sure, you know where the phone is.”

Jensen grabs his pack and heads through to the back. “Ted?” He hovers for a moment, watching the diner’s manager leaning over one of the large freezers. Ted isn’t all bad, just rough around the edges Jensen supposed; a stocky build, greasy hair tied back in a pony tail, a few days growth on his jaw and the raw red skin of having scratched at it far too much already this morning.

“What?” Ted gives a loud sniff as he drops down the freezer lid.

“I know I was bugging you for some extra hours, it’s just what with Jesse and everything…”

Ted sighs and turns round. “You take what I give you, that’s how it works.”

Jensen nods slowly. “Sure.” He wanders past the grills and out to the back room. He slumps down in one of the chairs and grabs the phone. It isn’t a great surprise when Nora picks up and starts complaining.

“I know, Nora, but it’s not like I can say no after I talked to him last week. Yes, I know you have work at three. Yes, I know, okay, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Jensen rubs his fingers into his temples as he feels a headache coming on. “No, don’t do that. Can’t you take him with you?”

Jensen leans back in the seat, his body sinking into the old cushion. “Maybe Tori could look after him for a while? He’d be okay with her, wouldn’t he? There’s nothing I can do, it’s an hour tops. Nora, don’t shout at me.” Jensen closes his eyes. “Fine. Do whatever.” He hangs up.

“You got five minutes ‘til we start serving breakfast. Get yourself sorted.”

Jensen rolls his head to one side and raises his hand towards Ted. And here it is, a brand new day just like the last.

~*~

Jensen stands in the doorway of the small living room that belongs to him and his sister. He watches Jesse for a moment as the boy picks up the broken toy airplane, a slightly bent wing and a missing wheel that Jensen’s been looking for the last couple of days. Jensen’s eyes fall to his sleeping father. Of all people, their father was the last person he thought his sister would call to look after her son. “Hey, Jesse.”

Jesse looks up as he crashes the toy into the carpeted floor.

“What you doing?”

“Playing.”

Jensen smiles as he steps into the room. He looks at the spread out toys on the couch, a frown creasing his forehead as he spots a plastic tub. “Did you play with these?” Jensen asks as he picks up the prescription, and turns it over in his hand to reveal his father’s name. “Jesse?”

“What?” Jesse drops down onto the floor and crosses his legs, looking innocently up at Jensen.

“Don’t play with Grandpa’s medication, okay?” Jensen tosses the tub into the lap of the sleeping man. He sighs and looks back down at Jesse. “Okay?”

Jesse nods. “Okay, I won’t touch them.”

“Dad, wake up.” Jensen shakes the older man’s, shoulder as he walks through to the kitchen.

There’s a muffled moan from the armchair, blurry eyes opening and looking over a slumped shoulder. “Huh?”

“You need to watch what you leave lying around when you’re here.” Jensen sticks his head around the door from the kitchen and points down to his father’s lap.

His father looks down and picks up the prescription. “He can’t open it.”

“That’s not the point.” Jensen grabs the chips off the countertop and unrolls the already open packet. “You want anything to eat before you go?”

His dad clears his throat as he pushes against the chair to sit up properly. “I’m fine. I should go. Things to do.”

“Beers to drink,” Jensen mouths behind his dad’s back as he throws a chip in his mouth. He watches as the older man struggles out of his seat, a soft groan as he straightens his back. “You need a ride?”

Jensen’s father shakes his head. “I’ll be fine.”

Jensen nods and pops another chip in his mouth.

“Tell your sister thanks for the fifty.”

Jensen stops chewing, a sniffed laugh in disbelief. “Yeah, right.” He hates how Nora will happily give their father anything he asks for. He walks back into the kitchen as the front door shuts with a low thud, his father leaving. He stares at the fridge and at the electricity bill they still haven’t paid. “Great.”

~*~

Jensen sits on his bed with his back propped up against the corner of the room. He leans forwards, the pencil in his hand pressing down firmly on the sketchpad sitting in his lap. He raises his head as there is a gentle knock on his bedroom door.

“Hey.”

Jensen lowers the sketchpad to the bed and looks up at his sister. “You’re back.”

Nora smiles and moves into the bedroom. “Jesse been okay?”

Jensen nods. “Sure. He’s in his room.” He looks back down at the pencil outline on the sheet of paper in front of him.

Nora nods as she sits down on the end of the bed, her hands rubbing together in her lap. “Jen?”

Jensen glances back up at his sister. “What?”

“The girls changed their plans.”

Jensen watches her curiously. “Okay. And?”

“They want to go out tonight.”

Jensen sighs and leans forwards. “I’ve already said I’d do something.”

“Like what?”

“Chris.”

Nora reaches out her hand, gentle circles across his patterned bed sheets. “It’s really important, Jen. You know I don’t get to go out all that often.”

Jensen leans back, his head dropping back against the wall. “Chris is only in town for the weekend.”

“Please, Jen. You could take Jesse with you.”

Jensen laughs. “Oh, yeah like that would be a good idea.”

“Please. Just this one time.” Nora lays her hand on Jensen’s knee, and gives it a light squeeze.

Jensen looks at his sister, dark brown hair falling about her face and even darker lines under her eyes. “You sure you shouldn’t be staying in and getting some sleep?”

Nora shakes her head. “Please.”

Jensen closes his eyes. “Fine. Go. Have fun.”

Nora smiles widely. “You’re the best.” She leans forwards a light kiss to his cheek.

Jensen feels the bed dip as Nora stands up. He opens his eyes and watches her leave his room. It frustrates him sometimes how Jesse seems to be more of an accessory than her actual son, the way she can easily off load the boy in order to do her own thing. He knows it’s been hard for her, pregnant at eighteen, trying to keep down a job, pay the rent for their home and then everything else any young woman would want.

“Jesse,” Jensen calls through to the rest of the house, his four year old nephew quickly appearing in the doorway. “Go get your coat. We’re going out for a while.”

Jesse smiles and runs along the corridor.

Jensen closes the sketchpad and rolls his legs over the side of the bed, his feet sliding into his sneakers. He better call Chris and make sure the guy’s on his best behaviour.

~*~

Jensen glances in the mirror, a smile as he watches Jesse who is sitting and staring out of one of the rear passenger windows. It’s a different world out here, large houses, large cars, the largest everything that money can buy. “You okay, buddy?” Jensen meets Jesse’s eyes in the mirror.

Jesse smiles and asks, “Are we going to the beach?”

Jensen grins. “Maybe.” He loves the beach, he loves the ocean, but most of all he loves the freedom. He turns the wheel, the car heading up one of the many driveways. He pulls up, Chris already sitting on the doorstep, a wide grin on his face.

“Hey, little dude.” Chris ruffles Jesse’s hair as they get out of the old Ford. “Out a little late, aren’t you?”

Jesse grins and pulls his jacket a little closer to him. “It’s only eight o’clock.”

“That’s late for a little dude like you.” Chris looks at Jensen. “Isn’t it?”

Jensen lays his hands on Jesse’s shoulders. “Jesse, you want to go look at Chris’s boards out back for a minute?”

Jesse looks up at Chris with bright eyes.

“Sure, kiddo,” Chris says with a friendly smile.

Jensen watches as Jesse runs up the side of the house and around the back.

“He’ll be fine.”

Jensen looks at Chris and sighs. “I know.”

“You okay?” Chris watches Jensen for a moment.

“Of course.” Jensen pushes his hands into the pockets of his jeans, and shrugs his shoulders. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Chris shakes his head. “Because you let Nora get her own way far too often.”

“It’s just this one time.”

“Perhaps.” Chris smiles. “So, beach?”

Jensen grins. “Sounds good.”

“Still got your board out back. Gonna show me your moves?” Chris swings his hands to one side, mimicking the act of surfing.

“Sure, oh, if there’s someone to watch Jesse.”

Chris sucks on the inside of his mouth. “I kinda heard Tori was going to be there.”

Jensen lowers his head, eyes trailing over the sandy spaces between the driveway paving.

“You seen her since…?” A lingering question.

Jensen shakes his head. The last time he’d seen Tori was about ten days after their third reconciliation; arguments, that’s all they seemed to have these days. They could be the best of friends, but every time they took that step back toward being something more, everything would just start to break down all over again. “It’s been a couple of weeks, it’ll be fine.” Jensen forces a smile.

Chris gives a sniffed laugh. “You two confuse me so much.” He looks back at the house. “I’ll go get the boards and then I’ll bore you with school stuff.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “If you tell me the story about the pig, the cherry bomb and ending up naked again, I may have to kill you.”

Chris grins. “No, but I’ve got something even better.”

“I’ve changed my mind, I’m going home,” Jensen jokes and turns back to his car.

Chris grabs his wrist a little too roughly. “Wait.”

Jensen looks at him oddly. “Chris?”

“Sorry.” Chris loosens his hold, fingertips brushing the back of Jensen’s hand as he pulls away. “You know you can use this place anytime, right? If you want some space from…” He looks over his shoulder as Jesse appears from round the back.

Jensen meets Chris’s eyes and gives a sniffed laugh. Does it really seem as bad as all that? “Hey buddy.” He forces his attention to Jesse. “You ready for the beach?”

“Can I surf with you?” Jesse says as he runs up to Jensen.

Jensen laughs, “One day.” He gives a small wink and wraps his arms around Jesse’s waist, lifting him from the floor. “Let’s go.”

~*~

Jensen straddles his board, water up to his waist as his legs dangle either side into the low lapping waves. He stares out across the ocean, watching as the sun sinks into the water and casts an eerie glow outwards from the horizon.

“We heading back?”

Jensen looks at Chris, noticing the gentle bob of his body along with the movement of the water. “I wish we didn’t have to,” he says quietly.

Chris runs his hands over the smooth board, a gentle sigh. “What I said before, about the house? You can use it.”

Jensen smiles. “Maybe.”

“I mean it. With me at school it’s kinda just sitting there.”

Jensen laughs. “I get the picture. Thanks.”

Chris grins. “Tori looked hot.”

Jensen moves his hands through the water, the board turning to face the shore. “Yeah, well she always does.”

“So you and her really done?”

Jensen tries to ignore the question; Chris is as subtle as a brick.

“I mean she was there with that Tom guy. Think they’re…?”

Jensen looks back over his shoulder. “Not really any of my business.”

Chris sucks at the inside of his mouth. He just wants a reaction, anything so he can figure out what’s going on with Jensen right now. He’d gone away to school and felt like he had left Jensen behind. Jensen had acted like it was okay, that the art college that had turned him down had meant nothing, perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be, and yet he can’t help but feel a little guilty for leaving Jensen here alone. Chris watches Jensen put a little space between them. Not alone, not really. Jensen had his family, or rather his family had him.

“Race you inland.” Jensen grins as he drags his hands more firmly through the water.

Chris grins. “You are so gonna lose.”

~*~

Jensen lifts Jesse from the backseat; the boy undisturbed from his sleep as he is carried inside. Jensen steps into the dark house, carefully moving across the room toward the back of the house where Jesse’s small room is.

“You,” Jesse says beside Jensen’s ear.

“Bed time buddy.” Jensen pushes open Jesse’s bedroom door only to feel small arms wrap around his neck.

“With you.”

Jensen sighs and lifts Jesse a little higher onto his shoulder. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

Jesse looks at Jensen through heavy eyelids. “Want you.”

Jensen leans forwards, a light kiss to the boy’s cheek. “Fine, this one time.” Jensen carefully makes his way towards his own room, and turns on the dim lamp at his bedside. He looks at the two single beds. Once upon a time Jesse had shared the room with him, long before they ever sorted out the spare and turned it into something more than a room full of boxes.

“You get yourself in bed. Just gonna go get you a glass of water.” Jensen ruffles Jesse’s hair as he lowers him to the floor. “I won’t be long.”

Moments later and he returns to find Jesse sprawled face down on the bed, and half hidden beneath the bed sheets. Jensen smiles and lowers the glass to the bedside. Crouching down, he removes Jesse’s sneakers and tucks him in properly; Jesse’s far too tired to notice the small movements as Jensen straightens him and the bedding.

Jensen takes a step back and looks down at the sleeping figure, a mass of blonde locks showing just above the bedcover. He slowly crosses to his own bed, shuffling his way across the covers to sit up against the wall. He grabs his sketch book from the bedside and starts flicking through a few of the pages. He looks down at his work, his versions of the people and places that touch his life. He stares down at one of the ocean, dark images and figures twisting into one entity within the water.

Jensen sighs and turns to a fresh page. He picks up one of the pencils from his bedside and begins to draw. He works in the dim light, pressing the tip firmly to the page as he vents the pressure he’s held in his chest since the moment he left the house, since he was yet again left in charge of Jesse. He pushes the pencil harder against the paper, a dark line. He flinches, the tip of the pencil breaking under the pressure. He swallows uncomfortably as he raises the pencil and looks at the broken tip, the wood having splintered as the lead had been forced sideways. He lowers the sketchpad to his knees and glances over to Jesse. How would things have been if he hadn’t stayed? He can’t help but think, what if?

~*~

It feels strange to be home. It seems so long since he’s been here, although in reality it had only been two years. Slowly, Jared lifts his bag higher on his shoulder and walks up the long driveway towards the house. Inside hasn’t changed all that much, still cold and empty. He sighs and crosses to one of the bookshelves, eyes flitting over the collection of photographs. He drops his bag to the floor and picks up one of the frames. There he is. Jared Padalecki, sixteen years old and not a care in the world. He returns the frame to its place, and looks around the room as he hears a strange noise from out back.

Jared moves towards the back door, surprised to find it unlocked as he pushes against it. He raises an eyebrow as he looks across the large garden. He smiles and stares at the back of the tanned man standing in the corner of the garden; a surfboard propped up against the wooden trellis, a low voice humming along to an i-pod.

Quietly, Jared makes his way down the steps and across the lawn. He smiles as the humming turns to words, rather loud words, although he isn’t sure what song it’s supposed to be exactly. “Hey,” he says, not all that surprised to get no reply, the guy starts to move his head side to side with the music, one hand rubbing wax into the board.

Jared sighs and steps forwards. “Hey.” He grabs the guy’s shoulder, surprised to suddenly find himself lying flat on his back on the ground. “Ow.” He blinks as he looks up at the sun, a shadowy figure moving into the light.

“Jared?”

Jared squints and slowly nods his head against the grass.

“What the hell? What are you doing here? I thought…” Jensen pulls his earphones out and holds out his hand.

Jared stares up at him. “Jensen?”

Jensen grins and reaches down for Jared’s hand. “You scared the crap out of me.”

“I scared you? It’s my house.”

Jensen looks up at Jared as he gets to his feet. “I thought you were out in LA.”

Jared brushes at the front of his pants. “Needed a vacation. Thought here was as good a place as any.” He rubs a hand over his stomach. “Or at least it seemed a good idea.”

Jensen gives a small laugh and turns off his i-pod, wrapping the earphone wire around it.

“You still got that old thing?” Jared looks down at the two year out of date gadget.

Jensen smiles. “Does what it needs to,” he says matter-of-factly.

Jared sucks at the inside of his mouth thoughtfully. “So, yours?” Jared points towards the board Jensen had been working on only moments before.

Jensen glances over his shoulder. “Erm, yeah. Well, one of Chris’s. Kind of passed it on.” Jensen clears his throat and looks back at Jared. “So, vacation?”

Jared nods. “Yeah. Kinda.”

“LA not all you thought it would be?” Jensen looks at Jared curiously.

“Oh, no, it was great. I mean, I got to meet so many cool people, do so much cool stuff. I got some great parts on some great shows and…” He stops and lowers his head, a small blush.

“Nice to see fame didn’t go to your head,” Jensen laughs. “I managed to catch the episode of One Tree Hill.”

“God, Chad Michael Murray was frikkin’ hot.”

Jensen swallows awkwardly and folds his arms across his bare chest. “Not really my type,” he says quietly.

“Sorry.” Jared scratches a hand behind his ear. “You wanna go get something to eat or something? I just got back and have no idea where’s good anymore around here.”

Jensen grins. “Like I do? You know I can pretty much afford shit this side of town.”

Jared bites at his lower lip uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean...”

Jensen shakes his head as he reaches down for his t-shirt, material rolling down over his firm tanned body. “It’s okay. Just… Not everything’s changed since you’ve been away.”

~*~

Jared leans back in his chair, arms stretching above his head, a sliver of skin on show as his t-shirt rides up over his stomach. “Still doing your art stuff, I see.”

Jensen looks up from the table and the napkin he’s been drawing on. He slowly folds the napkin in half. “Sorry. Habit.” He tries to make himself meet Jared’s eyes, instead finding it rather difficult not to linger over the space between Jared’s t-shirt and jeans.

Jared grins and lowers his arms. “What happened with school? I thought you’d applied to Cal Arts?”

Jensen shrugs. “Didn’t get in. Probably a good thing. What with Mom, and then Nora needing me.”

Jared nods slowly, his gaze drifting over Jensen. “How old is Jesse now?”

“Four.”

“Wow.” Jared reaches forward for his coffee.

“He’s great, a handful and a little keen to get into mischief sometimes, but he’s a four year old boy. Kind of comes with the territory.”

“And Nora? She doing okay?”

Jensen fidgets with the corner of the napkin. “Yeah, sure. I mean we both look after Jesse and help out with rent and stuff. We do alright.”

Jared smiles. “Say.” He leans forwards. “You doing anything this evening?”

Jensen thinks for a moment and then shakes his head. “No, why?”

“Thought maybe we could head over to the cove. Still a good ride out there, right?”

Jensen nods. “Sure. If you know what you’re doing.” He grins. “Think you can keep up?”

Jared laughs. “You bet I can, old man.”

Jensen laughs loudly. “Hey, one year dude. If I’m over the hill, so are you.”

“Nineteen going on thirty-nine, that’s what you are, a kid, bills, grown up stuff.” Jared meets Jensen’s eyes and grins. “Say, remember that time you and Chris left me at Halo’s Point?”

Jensen shakes off Jared’s previous observation. “Sure. Your mom freaked the fuck out when we came back without you.”

“I hated you guys so much,” Jared laughs. “Yet I couldn’t stop following you all around like a puppy. My step-bro and his cool friends.”

Jensen lowers his head and stares at the napkin between his fingers. “We didn’t mind you so much. I think Chris even kind of missed you when you moved back to your dad’s.”

Jared sucks on the inside of his mouth. “All he ever did was hide my things and call me names.”

Jensen grins. “I’m sure it was a sign of affection really.”

Jared laughs. “Maybe.”

Jensen looks down at his watch. “I really should get going.”

“Okay. But later, yeah?” Jared watches as Jensen gets to his feet.

“Sure.” Jensen nods, picking up the napkin and pushing it into his back pocket. “Later sounds good.”

~*~

“Please, just this one time. You know I don’t get to go out that often.”

Jensen closes his eyes as he listens to the familiar words. “Nora, you said this last week.”

“This is different. He wants to take me on a date, Jen. An actual date.”

Jensen feels his heart sinking. Since Chris left for school, he’s barely left the house apart from to work, or see Tori now and then. Seeing Jared again today kind of felt like a small piece of freedom, and yet even now it was being pulled from his grasp.

“Jen. I’m a single mom. Do you know how hard it is to get a date?”

Jensen opens his eyes and meets hers, he’s pretty sure he’s about to find out. “Whatever, Nora.” He stands up, his knee bumping against the kitchen table.

“Where are you going?”

Jensen shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“When will you be back?”

Jensen grabs his keys off the side.

“Jensen!” She calls after him.

Jensen keeps on walking.

~*~

Jensen stops in the driveway and stares up at the large house. “What the hell am I doing?” He says quietly to himself as he slides out of the car. He rubs a hand over his mouth and shakes his head. “Shit!”

Slowly he makes his way up to the house; Jared’s house. Jensen stops as the door is pulled open before he even has a chance to knock on it.

“Hey.”

Jensen stares at Jared’s bare chest, a towel around his waist. “Er, hey.” He gives a small smile.

“Sorry, I saw you from upstairs. You okay?”

Jensen nods. “Yeah, look. About this evening?”

“Yeah?”

Jensen meets Jared’s eyes, a warm stare. “I won’t be able to. Not tonight anyway. Nora’s out and someone needs to stay home for Jesse.”

“Oh. Right. I thought…”

“Sorry. Maybe another time. Are you in town long?”

Jared pulls his towel a little tighter around his waist, ignoring the question. “You want to come in for a minute?”

Jensen hesitates.

“I was about to get a few lengths in before dinner. I’m sure there must be a spare pair of trunks lying around somewhere.”

Jensen shakes his head. “I should get back.” He takes a step back from the door.

Jared reaches out and grabs Jensen’s wrist, startling not only Jensen but himself as well. “Come on. Least you can do if you’re brushing me off tonight.”

Jensen watches as Jared’s hand falls from his. “I’m not ‘brushing’ you off.” He shrugs. “It’s just complicated.”

“Then come tell me about it.”

Jensen rolls his eyes. “Jay, we aren’t kids anymore. It doesn’t work like that.”

Jared looks at Jensen curiously. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jensen rubs a hand over his eyes.

Jared watches Jensen for a moment. “Will you come in? Just for a minute?”

Jensen sighs, watching as Jared takes a few steps back into the house. He shakes his head but starts to follow, slowly pushing the door closed behind him. He stands with his back against the door, watching as Jared walks through to the kitchen.

“Can I get you anything?”

Jensen hears the refrigerator door open. “I’m not staying long,” he calls through to Jared.

Jared sighs and grabs a beer from the top shelf. He steps back out into the entrance to find Jensen still standing beside the door. “What’s wrong?”

Jensen gives a small smile. “Nothing,” he says, trying to convince not only Jared, but himself as well.

“So why’d you come here?”

Jensen bites on his lower lip; he doesn’t really know why he came. He should have just messaged or called.

“Jensen?” Jared raises the beer to his lips.

“I just needed to get out of the house, I suppose. It’s why I was here this morning. With your parents away, you in LA, Chris at school; he said I could come here whenever.”

Jared smiles. “Sorry, if I’m in the way.”

Jensen sniffs a laugh. “Pretty sure I’m the one in the way. Sorry I kinda hit you this morning.”

“No worries. So you want to hang out here a little while, or…”

Jensen shakes his head. “I really should go. I need to sort a few things with Nora. I didn’t really stop and think when I walked out.”

“You walked out?”

“Like I said, I just needed a little space. It’ll be fine.” Jensen runs his hand over the door handle. He pauses and meets Jared’s eyes. “Are you free tomorrow?”

Jared looks to the ceiling, pretending to give serious thought to the question. “Saturday, right? No plans as yet,” he says with a grin.

“I work at the diner ‘til closing tomorrow. Maybe after I could come get you, head down to the cove for a couple of hours?” Jensen pushes on the door handle, a cool breeze hitting his legs as the door opens a little.

“You sure? Not gonna stand me up?”

Jensen shakes his head as he pulls open the door fully. He steps outside, a small smile. “Not this time.”

Chapter 2

fic: drifting hearts

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