Arick is joinng the Army and he wll be gone... -_-
haha i thought I'd post being i havent in a long while... While sitting here redingother pplz posts a i found a metal cutter sitting on myfloor... i am soo temped to cut at my left index finger, not because i am going "sucidcal" but because hypothetically it is possable. I could cut my finger with it, it is real. Not like ths monotoned blahh nothingness of grey nights and days... Echoing sounds i cant really Define, the ordinary depressive thoughts of blank moments that drone in my mind for centuries... I feel i am stuck in time... Stuck in this moment of uninspiring self obsorbed sadness that makes me feel complete, Happy u may say... I like it, I wont lie. I am happy when I am trapped n this moment of none creative robotic tears... Because I relized that this is the real me... amalwasy talking about this real me... But wht can i say the real me is the one always talking about it.... i was jsut too ignorant too discover this before... the real me hates the fact me, hates the real me... pretends i dont know... Truth is I do... I always trully have... I am an insecure Child in my heart, in my mind a fully capable adult... At 14 where stand is not wheer I should... And Frankly i am begining to scare myself, I want to be 14, just 14. I dont want to be 15.... 18.... 21.... want to be 14... yet IM not sure how?!
On that note I will make myself invisable and go on pondering lifes little unimportant questions.....
On that note I will make myself invisable and go on pondering lifes little unimportant questions.....