(no subject)
The next four years of my life will be spent three hours away from philly. away from the only place i know, away from the only people i know. i hate thinking about this, but it's pretty inevitable considering the next few months will only consist of college shit, and graduation and moving. it never really bothered me cause if you think about it, there's a vacation just about every month for college students, but now that my parents are moving about an hour out of the city, I won't have a real home to go back to. I won't have that comfort of "home". ill be living out of suit cases and sleeping in rooms that never really belonged to me and never really will. This feeling gets so overwhelming sometimes.
im leaving the little family that i do have behind. i dont know what im going to do without my mom and my sister to bail me out of shit. &now there's a certain boy that im beginning to grow an attatchment to, along with boys who I've never really stopped liking loving who i dont want to leave behind. There were so many things I just thought I'd have time for later, things that I'd just get back to, that I'll never have that chance to do now.
&the thing that upsets me the most is thinking about leaving sharon behind. my best friend, my every great memory for that past four years. I dont know what im going to do with my best friend being over four hours away from me. I dont want to make another best friend;;i want things to stay this way. I want the people who are in my life now, to stay here forever. but that idea is completely rediculous. So many things have changed just over my high school years, i can't imagine what will happen during my college years.
i get so sick to my stomache thinking about college. Im not really scared about what will happen there, but what I will be leaving behind. I may never meet people who can compare to the people I met during high school. I might never find a best friend like sharon.
things would be so much easier if philly would just freeze when i leave. If nothing would change, and evertime i came back, the same people would be there for me the exact way that i left them. &my family...they wouldnt grow old, or pass away, and my nephew won't make his first steps without me. Or the boy that i like won't be with another girl, or lose my number. I don't wanna miss a night in philly. but i know that I have no choice.
ill miss everything about philly.
<3.
im leaving the little family that i do have behind. i dont know what im going to do without my mom and my sister to bail me out of shit. &now there's a certain boy that im beginning to grow an attatchment to, along with boys who I've never really stopped liking loving who i dont want to leave behind. There were so many things I just thought I'd have time for later, things that I'd just get back to, that I'll never have that chance to do now.
&the thing that upsets me the most is thinking about leaving sharon behind. my best friend, my every great memory for that past four years. I dont know what im going to do with my best friend being over four hours away from me. I dont want to make another best friend;;i want things to stay this way. I want the people who are in my life now, to stay here forever. but that idea is completely rediculous. So many things have changed just over my high school years, i can't imagine what will happen during my college years.
i get so sick to my stomache thinking about college. Im not really scared about what will happen there, but what I will be leaving behind. I may never meet people who can compare to the people I met during high school. I might never find a best friend like sharon.
things would be so much easier if philly would just freeze when i leave. If nothing would change, and evertime i came back, the same people would be there for me the exact way that i left them. &my family...they wouldnt grow old, or pass away, and my nephew won't make his first steps without me. Or the boy that i like won't be with another girl, or lose my number. I don't wanna miss a night in philly. but i know that I have no choice.
ill miss everything about philly.
<3.